Author's Note: I promised you some AU fic, didn't I? Well, here you go! (Now would be a good time to remind you that the chapters of this story are not necessarily related. So this one doesn't have anything to do with, for instance, "She Makes Me".) Enjoy!

Action This Day – Taichi/Takeru

A bank robbery?

Really?

Takeru didn't even realize bank robberies were a thing anymore, not with cybercrime so much easier to pull off. Yet here he was, cowering on the floor of a bank, watching three masked men wave guns around and bark orders at each other. He was really more annoyed than scared – the gunmen had successfully prevented the tiller from calling the police, so a hostage situation was most likely out of the question, and he figured that if he just sat there and followed orders the gunmen would have no reason to shoot him – but either way, there were other ways he'd rather have been spending his Saturday afternoon.

Takeru amused himself by observing the robbers. The tallest, who was spending most of his time ordering the other two around, appeared to be the leader. The shorter, squatter henchman, whose black shirt strained around his muscular arms and chest, was in charge of the group of unfortunate bank patrons. Takeru hadn't seen the third one, a wiry man of medium height, for a while, so he assumed that particular gentleman was doing the actual robbing (whatever that entailed). He hoped the third man would hurry up so they could all go home.

Takeru heard a rustling to his left and groaned. Someone was about to try to play the hero, and this situation was going to get hairier. Sure enough, a belligerent-looking gentleman rose and strode confidently toward the shortest gunman. "Hey! Hey you!" The gunman eyed him, half wary, half amused. "Do we have a problem?" he asked wryly.

"Yeah, we have a problem," the would-be hero spat. "You're holding a bunch of people at gunpoint. Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea what I'm going to do to you when we get out of here?"

The gunman chuckled and tapped his gun against the first man's chest. "I don't think you're in any position to make threats."

"Yeah?" the man shot back. "I don't think you can shoot me. So why don't you just let us go?" The gunman looked at his challenger for a moment, grinned, and shot him in the leg. The man let out a howl and sat down hard on the ground, looking shocked and in pain. But the gunman wasn't done yet. He advanced on the hero. "Still think I'm not gonna shoot you?" he said scornfully.

Takeru was worried now. As much as he didn't like the man on the ground, he really would rather not see anyone die. And he had kind of been hoping he'd been right about the robbers not wanting to shoot anyone. The hero was whimpering pitifully as the gunman held the weapon to his forehead. "I enjoy proving people wrong," the gunman said, silkily. Takeru squeezed his eyes shut. This couldn't end well...

"That's too bad," said another voice. "Because I enjoy proving people right." Before Takeru could tell what was going on, a brown and orange blur flew straight at the gunman, knocking him against a wall and causing his gun to skitter away across the floor. The audience let out a collective gasp of awe.

The new entrant into the fray stood up, surveying the room. Takeru had never seen a more ridiculous person. He was a man of average height, dressed entirely in a skintight orange jumpsuit. Over his eyes he wore a bright orange set of goggles, and his hair stood up all over his head in large brown tufts. On the knuckles of each hand stood a set of short silver spikes which gave the impression of claws when, like now, his fists were clenched. This strange newcomer turned to the assembled group, smiled, and gave a peace sign. "Don't worry, folks! Agu-man is here to help!" Takeru stared. First a bank robbery, now a costumed superhero? Could his day get any stranger?

The commotion had caused the robbers' leader, who had been in the back with his third partner, to return, brandishing his firearm. "What is going on in here? Who..." he stopped in his tracks, blinking in confusion at Agu-man. "What the hell is that supposed to be?" "Not what. Who!" the cheeky hero replied jovially. "I'm Agu-man, and I'm here to stop you!"

The leader laughed. "I don't know what the hell your deal is, but you're not taking me by surprise like you did him. Get out of my way!" And with that, he fired his gun at Agu-man. However, Agu-man had anticipated this, and rolled deftly out of the bullet's path. Hopping up, he – Takeru rubbed his eyes, convinced he was seeing things – he breathed a flame at the gunman, causing the gunman's sleeve to erupt in flames! With a terrified shriek, the gunman dropped to the ground, attempting to put out the fire. Agu-man stood over him, grinning ear to ear.

A movement from across the room caught Takeru's eye. It was the third robber, aiming carefully at Agu-man from behind a pillar. Takeru knew that calling out to Agu-man would be dangerous. He didn't want to take the chance that one of the two conscious gunmen would take advantage of the distraction to shoot the superhero down. His only chance was to stop the third robber himself! Takeru spotted the stocky robber's gun where it lay, forgotten, on the floor fifteen feet away. Taking a deep breath, he leapt for it.

Several things happened at once. Takeru's fingers closed around the gun just as the third robber's first shot rang out. Agu-man breathed in sharply. The bullet had grazed his arm. Not sure where the shot had come from, Agu-man looked frantically around the room. The robbers' leader, having successfully put out the fire on his sleeve, swept Agu-man's legs in an attempt to take him down. Agu-man stumbled and dropped to one knee as the hidden gunman, having caught sight of Takeru, prepared to take another shot. Desperately, wildly, Takeru fired his gun in the direction of the hidden gunman. His first three shots missed, but the fourth hit something – there was a sharp cry of pain, and the gunman slumped to the floor. Meanwhile, Agu-man had subdued his attacker. The three bank robbers were down for the count!

Agu-man turned to Takeru. Behind the tinted goggles, Takeru could just make out a warm expression in the hero's eyes. "Thank you, young man," Agu-man said, holding out his hand. Takeru shook it. Agu-man's hand was warm, his grip strong. Takeru couldn't help but feel a little blush coming to his cheeks, which only intensified as Agu-man held his hand up to his lips and kissed it. "You were very brave, and you may have saved my life. I owe you a great deal."

"You saved our lives!" Takeru exclaimed. "I think we're the ones who owe you."

Agu-man chuckled. "In that case," he replied, "I'll take your phone number and we'll call it even."

"M-my...what?"

"I think you're cute," the superhero said flippantly. "Plus, I've always wanted a sidekick." "I'm nobody's sidekick," Takeru managed to say. "But my number? That, you can have."

Agu-man pocketed the slip of paper Takeru handed him, winked roguishly, and disappeared through the door just as the police arrived. Takeru watched him go, absently rubbing the back of his hand. He could still feel Agu-man's lips on his skin, and he did not dislike the sensation.

If Takeru had known it would be this exciting, he would have hunted down a bank robbery long ago!

Author's Note: Looks like someone saw the Avengers movie last night! (It was me!)

This one didn't end up all that overtly romantic, I guess, but this wasn't really one of the pairings I was looking forward to writing. Really, though, this chapter is just begging for a spinoff. Think about it – Agu-man and Pata-boy! How much fun would that be? Super fun, is the answer.

I promised I'd tell you where the chapter names came from, didn't I? All two of you who are reading this? Well, I'm going the Ogre Battle route and naming all of my chapters (and the story itself) after Queen songs! Note that the songs themselves have nothing to do with the chapters, it's just that their titles fit. The best part about doing this the Ogre Battle way is that if a chapter doesn't work with any of the song titles, I can just title it something else! (If you didn't know, the Ogre Battle series is a series of video games of which about half are named after Queen songs, for whatever reason.) Anyway, I encourage you to go listen to some Queen. They really were the best band of all time.