Someone requested more. Here's more.
(Iggy's POV)
Why am I doing this again? I thought I had stopped. I have stopped for two months. Two whole months without hurting myself in some way. I could stop right now. Wrap up my wrist, throw the blade away and never buy another one. But… I can't. I just can't. I just bought this blade, I can't throw it away. It's so… new. So sleek. How I wish I could see it. I wish I could watch the blood seeping through the fresh mark I made. But then again, that's mostly the reason I'm doing this in the first place. A release from the frustration and anger I get from being freaking blind.
So here I am, sitting at the edge of a small cave away from the others, 'searching for firewood' until I got 'separated from Gazzy.' It started to rain a few minutes ago, and I still faintly hear Gazzy calling my name. Poor guy, he's worried sick about me. And all I'm doing about it is sitting in the rain and cutting myself. Something I promised I would never do again. Hate formed in my gut as I thought about how horrible I am for leaving Gazzy. Worrying the flock and most of all an 8 year old kid. All they wanted to do was help. God, I'm such a… bastard!
Instead of stop and go back to them, I couldn't help but trace where the new mark was, move my fingers down about half an inch, then make a new one. A deeper one. There was no pain really, just a nice release. But it wasn't enough. I had to go deeper… I had to.
"No." I found myself whispering to myself. Very very quietly, but still out loud. I can't go any deeper. It's to dangerous. I was already feeling a little light-headed. But the temptation… it was to much.
"I can't… I won't." I kept whispering into nothing. I'm Iggy, I could easily keep myself from passing out if I really was about to. I couldn't help myself… I dug deeper into the newer of the two. I was out in the rain, which had gone from a light drizzle to almost storming, but I could very well feel blood seep out then get washed away with rain water. My head started to feel funny. And I knew I was loosing to much blood.
My other hand automatically grabbed a towel, but hesitated over the cut. I simply couldn't bring myself to stop the bleeding. My hand hovered over my wrist and started to shake. I didn't want the sensation to stop. I didn't want to interfere with the natural flow of blood. (despite the fact that I made the blood seep out at an unnatural rate) I just… found myself throwing the towel to the side and giving a small frustrated cry. I couldn't focus anymore.
'Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.' I repeated in my head over and over again. It was to late. I couldn't ever hope to find that towel again, much less stop the bleeding in time. I'm done for.
But somehow, I didn't seem to care. I didn't care that I wouldn't have to live this stupid life anymore. I didn't care that I'll never get to see a sunrise or sunset. Or that I'll never actually see my friends and family again. Or that I'm so tired of almost running into things and looking like an idiot. Now, if I die, maybe all that will stop. Maybe I can see again, I'll meet other kids like me and I'll feel less alone. Now, I don't care if I die or not.
Just as I was finally about to pass out, (or die. I don't know which.) I faintly heard someone's voice.
"Iggy! What the hell are you doing?!" I think it was Fang.
Well there you go. Like I said, Aqua279 reveiwed and said I should continue the story. Actually 'write more' was the request. And I got more of a response from the first three chapters than I thought I would. I guess people like this stuff. AND I got pretty bored and thought writing more would kill some time. So, here's my attempt at 'more'
Hope it doesn't suck to badly. Keep in mind the first three were written months ago... so the style might be a tad diffrent as I've probobly changed. For the better or worse, I don't know. But that will be more apparent in the next chapter.
Please reveiw. I know it's short, but it's not the end. :) Next chapter to be up... sometime tomorrow? Maybe. Okay thanks for reading.
