December 16
Question: What's the deal with skinny jeans?
Thought Process: So they're basically super-tight jeans that people (mostly of the female variety) wear because they think they look COOL in them.
(Well, sometimes they do but that's not the point.)
What I'm saying is that squishing yourself into skinny little jeans is not cool. Or flattering in a lot of cases, especially when you weigh over one hundred and twenty pounds.
I mean, what's the problem with baggy jeans? Those are pretty awesome.
Or just normal ol' jeans that you get at Kohls or wherever. They work fine.
And just to let you know, I'm not just saying this so I can be all poser, pretending that I hate something when I don't. (Like Justin Bieber. People say they don't like just because everyone else at their school hates him. I mean, I'm not asking for you to be obsessed, but really. Stop being such a prep.) I've actually had an experience in which I decided I didn't like skinny jeans.
Proof: Nellie got me a pair of skinnies last Christmas. And because Amy told to be polite, I had to wear them to school when it reopened in January.
So I woke up and did my usual deal of eating then going to get ready. After putting on some random t-shirt that smelled clean, I picked up the jeans.
See, the thing is, the jeans would've fit fine if they were my size. But they were size 10. (Note: I was 13 then. Not to mention I'd started that crazy growing thing that guys do when they get older. Size 10 just doesn't work on someone who's 5'5".)
Tactic One: I tried the step into them and slowly wriggle on technique. FAIL
Tactic Two: I attempted the one leg in/one leg out method. FAIL
Tactic Three: I finally just went at pulling them on and seeing what happened way. FAIL
After a lot more FAILs, I couldn't take it. I had to pull out the scissors. But the problem with that was the fabric. It was, like, made out of impenetrable material. In five minutes all I had managed to do to the pants was make little white marks where I had attacked it with scissors.
By the time I had to leave, I was standing in my room holding a pair of pants and scissors and wearing nothing but a shirt and my boxers.
Then I decided to just put on a different pair of jeans that were the same color as the ones Nellie had given me, and I stuck a bunch of pins in the back so it looked like they were tight.
Neither Amy nor Nellie noticed anything.
Conclusion: Baggy and Normal jeans forever, man.
Just a quick note: I don't have anything against (most) of the things I'm writing about. I wear skinny jeans, listen to Ke$ha, talk forever on the phone, and love dances. Remember, this is Dan's opinion, not mine. Though sometimes I might add my own thoughts into it.
Also, if anyone wants to request a random topic, I'd be happy to write a chapter for it! As long as it's K+ appropriate, and something you think Dan might have an opinion about. Try to put it in question form- example: Why do girls pierce their ears?
"We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat!" - George Weasley
