Living In America
By: Neener
Notes: Thanks for the reviews, everyone:hugs: This chapter is filled with lots of awkward Benny, magical mishaps, Weasley encounters, adorable Collins, and of course, the ridiculous Maureen.
Ye gods, I haven't updated in ages. Merp. This chapter was originally going to be longer, but I decided a short update would be better than no update at all. I wrote half of it two weeks ago and am finishing the second half at 4:03 in the morning, so forgive me if it sounds a little funny. I'll try to update again within the next week or two, but after that, my updates are going to be pretty sparse. I'm going to Germany for most of February, but I'll definitely update before I go. :D
The name of this chapter is a song from Cabaret.
Enjoy!
CHAPTER THREE
don't tell mama
August 18, 1987.
Dear Mom, Dad, & Harry,
My apartment is amazing and my roommates are double amazing. I've never had so much fun in my life and I haven't even started college yet! Harry, you have got to come visit, I know you'll love Benny & Collins, and we can go to the park and maybe see a movie or something! Call me! 809-1007.
Love, Maureen
PS: Don't you love this postcard! I would have called, but this was too cute to resist!
Harry Potter-Johnson was sure he had memorised Maureen's postcard. He had read it obsessively since it had arrived the week before. Richard and Vanessa had read it once or twice, maybe, but didn't seem to pay much attention to it.
"It's good that she's doing fine," Richard had said.
"Maybe we can drop in sometime later this month," Vanessa had suggested.
Harry had been less than pleased with these answers. He missed Maureen terribly. It simply wasn't the same without getting to see her everyday, and he knew she missed him too.
So, he had set out on a mission.
Thanks to Maureen, Harry was very, very good at getting what he wanted. He knew just the right way to say something to make Richard feel guilty; just the right way to ask for something to make Vanessa say yes. Harry hardly ever exercised this talent of his because he always ended up feeling sorry afterwards, whereas Maureen only felt sorry when she didn't get her way.
However, desperate times called for desperate measures. Harry could feel sorry later.
Since Maureen's postcard had arrived, Harry had been acting reclusive, lonely, and uncharacteristically quiet. He silently helped with the dishes, kept his room clean, and did his homework without being cajoled into it. He went to bed on time, got the mail, ate his vegetables, and volunteered to go with Vanessa whenever she went grocery shopping. Harry knew what he was doing, and so, when he had asked Vanessa and Richard if he could go visit Maureen for the day that Saturday, both of them had said yes.
"You've been very helpful and polite lately," Richard told him, "even more so than usual."
"And I know you've been lonely," Vanessa had said with concern as she patted his shoulder. "It must be hard without Maureen."
Score! Harry had thought happily.
And now, here he was, sitting on his bed and rereading Maureen's postcard. He had to say, he was very proud of himself for being so dedicated. It wasn't often that his seven-year-old attention span lasted this long.
"Harry!" Richard called from downstairs. "Are you ready to go!"
"Uh-huh!" Harry yelled back, putting the postcard down on his bed and hurrying down the stairs into the living room. Richard was jingling his car keys in his hand and smiled when Harry appeared. "Let's go!" he shouted.
"Have fun, Harry!" Vanessa called from in the kitchen. "I'll see you later!"
Richard was going to drive Harry to Maureen's apartment in Alphabet City, which she was sharing with two other college students. Harry would spend the day there and Richard would come pick him up later that evening.+
The whole car ride there, Harry's imagination ran wild. What did Benny look like? What about Collins? Was their apartment messy or clean? What did they do for fun? Would they like him? Had Maureen changed at all?
He fervently hoped that they would get along with him. He was also hoping for a little bit of adventure. Things had been terribly boring since Maureen had gone.
"OH MY GOD, YOU'RE HERE!" was Harry's first experience of Maureen's college life. As soon as he had set foot in her Alphabet City apartment, she had leapt from the couch and flown through the air, tackling him to the ground with the force of a linebacker. After hugging him for several long, oxygen-deprived seconds, she pulled away and inspected him.
"You look like you've been eating vegetables," she observed.
"I have," he told her gravely.
After saying goodbye to Richard, Maureen immediately began showing Harry around their loft apartment. It was quite big and breezy, with several huge windows that opened out onto a fire escape, and a large, cushy maroon couch. There was a table pushed into the far corner, as well as several mysterious doors heading into equally mysterious rooms. From one of these rooms, loud snores were floating into the living room.
"That's Benny," Maureen said disdainfully at Harry's curious look. "He can't hold a job, so he's always complaining about it and then sleeping. He's a bit boring unless you're terrorizing him or something." Harry wondered exactly how much Maureen had terrorized Benny. "Then there's Collins, who's apparently a cop or something. He was at work all night and should be home any minute now."
She beamed at him. "I missed you!" she shrieked, pulling him into another bone-crushing hug. "I wish I could go to college and live with you!"
There was the sound of footsteps and then of a bag being dropped on the ground. Maureen and Harry turned around. "Hi, Collins!" Maureen said brightly.
It was obvious that the man standing in the doorway had been out all night. There was a coffee stain on his shirt and deep hollows beneath his friendly eyes. He yawned widely but smiled at the two of them.
"Hi, Maureen," he said wearily. He looked at Harry with eyes full of meaning. "Is this -- ?"
"Yeah, it's Harry!" Maureen said proudly, shoving the boy forward in a motivational sort of way.
"Hello," Collins said nicely, extending his hand. "I'm Tom Collins, everyone calls me Collins. I've heard a lot about you."
"I never shut up," Maureen proclaimed, putting her hands on her hips with pride.
"Hi," Harry mumbled, shaking Collins' hand. "It's nice to meet you," he added politely.
Collins kicked off his shoes and disappeared into the kitchen area. "Did you eat all the leftovers again?" he called out to Maureen.
Maureen grabbed her coat and turned hastily to Harry. "Maybe now would be a good time to got to the park," she suggested, pushing him towards the door.
Harry had a great time with Maureen. They wandered around Central Park and took a horse and carriage ride. Harry even rode the subway for the first time, and was quite pleased with a man brought a trumpet onto the car and played a song for the other passengers. It was easy to see why Maureen had wanted to come here.
By lunchtime, Harry was sure he had done everything there was to be done in the city, and he was quite exhausted… and hungry. He and Maureen climbed the stairs up to the loft, chattering about their day. Maureen had plans to take Harry out to a sushi restaurant and then to go buy new clothes – "Mom just doesn't know how to dress you," she had remarked disdainfully earlier that morning – before he had to go home again.
Maureen told Harry all about Collins and Benny, about how Collins was an anarchist and Benny was always running off at odd hours to go to job interviews. Harry was looking forward to talking to them and hoped that they would like him.
All in all, Harry had to admit it was one of the best days he had had in a long time.
As they entered the loft, Collins was lounging on the counter, phone in hand. His face lit up when Maureen entered the room. "What a coincidence," he said into the phone, "she just walked in. Hold on a second." He covered the mouthpiece with his hand. "Maureen, your friend is very upset and needs to talk to you."
"Who is it?" she asked with interest. She dropped her purse onto the couch, which emitted a low groan. A young man with a shiny, bald head emerged from a tangle of blankets, blinking irritably at her. "Oh, sorry, Benny."
Benny stared at Harry, apparently trying to figure out who he was, while Collins handed the phone to Maureen and hopped off of the counter to rummage through the refrigerator.
"Hello?" Maureen said, taking Collins' place. "Oh, hi Amelia, how are you?" There was a long pause. Harry wandered over to the window and looked out. There wasn't much of a view; just more buildings. Several homeless people were standing across the street. "No! That bastard, I can't believe him!" She twisted the phone cord around her fingers and grimaced. "He was too ugly for you, anyway, you know that. Yeah, I'll be right there – " She pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at it quizzically. "She hung up on me!" Maureen exclaimed.
"Who was that?" Collins asked. Benny was rubbing his eyes. "I couldn't even understand what she was saying, she was crying so hard. What happened?"
"Her dumbass of a boyfriend dumped her," Maureen said. "I have to go over there and try to raise her self-esteem." She rolled her eyes. "Great, lucky me."
"You're leaving?" Harry blurted out with concern.
"You'll be fine." She waved her hand breezily and smiled at him. "Benny and Collins will take care of you. I'll be home by two…probably."
"Actually," Collins said, slipping his sneakers on, "I have an assignment I need to get to."
"Are you lying or are you serious?" Maureen said, crossing her arms and glaring at him. "You don't want to spend time with Harry!" she accused.
"Maureen." Collins gave her a meaningful look. "I really do have an assignment."
"What kind of cop gets assignments," Maureen grumbled, though she hopped off of the counter and headed to get her purse, which Benny handed to her before he snuggled back into his blankets contentedly. "Benny, you're going to watch Harry."
"I don't need watching," Harry said indignantly. "I'm seven!"
Maureen rolled her eyes. "Don't get into trouble. Benny," she said, throwing the blankets off of her roommate, who groaned in irritation, "make sure Harry eats."
"I'm not hungry," Harry said, just to be contrary. He sat down on the window seat and crossed his arms.
She sighed and turned on her heel. "I'll be back later," she told them, slinging her purse over her shoulder. "Just don't tell mom," she added before hurrying out of the loft, Collins close behind, who pulled the loft door shut.
Harry found that the next half hour was very boring. Benny slept on the couch, snoring loudly, while Harry stared out the window and doodled on his arm with a pen he found. When he simply couldn't take the hunger and boredom anymore, he stood up and walked over to Benny, tearing his blankets off like Maureen had.
"Feed me," he demanded.
Benny blinked up at him like he was staring into the sun. "Who are you?" he grumbled.
"I'm Harry," he told him. "Maureen said you have to make sure I eat something. I could die," he added for effect.
Benny sat up but rubbed his eyes and yawned before staring at Harry suspiciously. "There's food in the fridge," he ventured.
After a brief search of the kitchen, Harry called out, "There isn't any food! Your kitchen is empty!"
Harry could hear Benny's snores and sighed. He crept over to the couch and leaned over, before screaming at the top of his lungs, "OH MY GOD!" It had the desired effect: Benny went flying off of the couch and landed face first on the ground.
Triumphantly, Harry said, "Take me to get something to eat."
"Brat," Benny mumbled. "You're so much like Maureen."
"That's right," he declared. "Make me a sandwich or something."
"I can't make you a sandwich if there's no food in the house," Benny snapped. He stood up and stumbled towards his bedroom, blankets wrapped around him.
"I'm hungry!" Harry hollered, stamping his foot angrily. Benny ignored him and hurried towards his room, apparently to sleep more. "BENNY!" Harry shouted.
The ceiling fan that had been lazily rotating above them suddenly crashed to the ground.
Benny shrieked at the top of his lungs and nearly toppled over, his feet tangled in the blankets wrapped around him. He stared, aghast, at an equally awestruck Harry, who was gaping at the hole in the ceiling.
"Holy shit," Benny muttered.
Harry bit his lip and looked from the broken fan to the horrified Benny, hoping deeply that he wasn't going to be punished. He didn't care if Benny shouted at him, but having Maureen angry with you was one of the worst possible things you could ever experience.
"Jesus Christ, kid," Benny finally said. "I'll go buy you a sandwich."
Despite the distraction of his hunger, Harry found that nothing seemed to make Benny tolerable. It took him a full ten minutes to get ready to go out, for he had to find the socks that matched his sweater vest perfectly first, and then had to wash his face and brush his teeth. As he did so, Harry continuously complained and complained, even though he felt a bit guilty about it. Benny may have been annoying and self-absorbed, but Harry had quite the feeling that his own nagging resembled Maureen's. And to be nagged by Maureen was a fate worse than death.
When the two unlikely companions finally emerged from the apartment building, Benny looked like he was heading off for a job interview, when in reality, they were just going to the corner shop.
"Do you always take that long to get ready?" Harry asked curiously, examining how clean Benny's shoes were.
"Usually, yes," Benny replied. "No matter where you go, you should always try to make a good first impression. Let me tell you something, Harry, when you get older, this is going to be very good advice. Once you need a job to buy a car and a house, a first impression is extremely important."
"Yeah, whatever," Harry mumbled in reply, looking around the street in boredom. I wonder how long it would take for him to notice I'm gone.
As Benny launched into a sudden explanation of inflation, Harry took his chance and wandered off. It was easy to get himself away from the talkative young man, and Harry slipped into the small crowd meandering the sidewalk and hurried in the opposite direction of Benny.
At first, Harry wasn't sure where he was going to go, but then he spotted a pretzel cart. His face split into a huge grin. Maureen had bought him a pretzel earlier that day, and it had been delicious. His mouth already watering, Harry hurried over to the cart, searching his pockets for money and coming up with only a crumpled five-dollar bill. Assuming this would be enough, Harry approached the cart, his mouth just about ready to give his order for one delicious, salty, wonderful pretzel –
"Harry!" a bellow came from about twenty feet away. Several people (including Harry himself) looked up to see a frantic looking Benny, his head shinier than usual, hurrying down the sidewalk, his gaze darting from place to place. "Harry, come back, where are you!"
Harry, feeling a panicked sort of thrill rush through him, did the first thing that made sense to him: he dove behind the trashcans next to the pretzel cart.
Unfortunately, there were already two occupants of this hiding place, both of whom had identical mops of flaming red hair. Harry mumbled an apology and made to sit down on the curb, but one of the boys waved at him frantically.
"You're going to sit on a banana peel!" he hissed. Harry looked down and saw his bottom poised right over, indeed, a very old banana peel. Harry quickly changed gears and found another spot. "What are you hiding from?"
Harry noticed that his voice sounded funny, but not in a bad way – in an interesting sort of way. The two boys looked identical; as they peered at him, Harry couldn't tell either of them apart. It was fascinating.
"My…babysitter," Harry finally answered, after searching for the right word. "What are you hiding from?"
"Our mum," one of the twins answered. Harry wasn't sure if he was the own who warned him about the banana peel or not.
"She's been looking for us all over the place," the other boy answered. "I'm George, by the way."
"Fred Weasley," the boy called Fred answered, extending his hand. Harry looked at it for a moment before tentatively shaking it. "I swear, Mum has got it in for us. She must want to be tortured to death."
George nodded enthusiastically. "I'm sure that when we go to Hogwarts, we'll have to shop in plain old Diagon Alley, not in New York City."
This sentence made Harry blink in curiousity. "Sorry, what?" he blurted out, before the thought struck him that maybe he wasn't included in this conversation.
"My brother's going off to school this year," one of them (Harry thought it may have been Fred) explained. "My mum decided it would be just simply splendid to take dear old Percy shopping in a foreign country for all his things." He said this sentence with the highest amount of sarcasm Harry had ever heard used. "My dad is here on business already, so we all came along…me and all my brothers and sister. There's a lot of us."
"It wasn't so bad at first," George added, "but then Mum keeps trying to get us to buy matching pairs of these horrible plaid pants." They both shuddered in unison. In the background, Harry could hear Benny shouting his name, and ignored it. "That was the last straw."
"We simply couldn't take it anymore," Fred said, turning to peer out over the trashcans. "Cripes, Fred, there she is – is your name Harry? I think I see your babysitter.. or rather, I can hear him.."
"Yes, I'm Harry," he said, also turning to crouch and look over the trashcans. Benny looked like he was about to die. Harry was sure he was imagining what Maureen would do to him if she found out he had lost Harry.
"Quite loud, isn't he?" George observed.
"I should probably go," Harry told them apologetically. "It was nice meeting you," he added politely.
"Maybe we'll see you around sometime, Harry," Fred said cheerfully. Meanwhile, George was looking at Harry in quite a strange way, but before he could open his mouth to say anything, Harry had crept out from behind the trashcans to reveal himself to the quite frantic Benny.
"Jesus Christ, there you are!" he yelped, leaping over to Harry to examine him. "You're not hurt, are you?"
"No, Benny, I'm fine," Harry insisted, shrugging the man's hands off of his shoulders. "I'm still hungry though."
"You can have whatever you want," Benny said in relief. "As long as you don't tell Maureen what happened," he added. "She already hates me and I haven't done anything to her."
"I don't think she hates you," Harry said thoughtfully, before getting a sinister smirk on his face and adding, "but I won't give her any reason to if you buy me a pretzel. Or two. Or nine."
"How old are you? Like eight years old?" Benny looked at him and shook his head. "You're pretty smart for a kid."
"And you're pretty dumb for an adult," Harry snapped back. "Pretzel, please."
Benny looked tempted to just stuff Harry in a trashcan, but instead he sighed deeply and complied, buying Harry a dozen pretzels to enjoy for his lunch. After deep thought, Harry decided to give one to Benny. He wasn't that bad, after all.
+: I'm not sure how far away Long Island is from Alphabet City. I looked it up on Mapquest, but without an address, they're not very helpful hah. So, I'm just pretending Long Island is about an hour or two away from Alphabet City, even though I know it's not, because I'm a nooblet and don't feel like researching it anymore. :P
Sorry if I made Harry sound like a brat. He definitely isn't going to be like that later; it's just Maureen rubbing off on him. I'll try to update soon. Happy (late) holidays, everyone!!
