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A/N: So, don't be expecting double updates even though I'm ahead of myself. I intend to stay at least 3 chapters ahead of myself for this story =) So you get this, I get bed and I hope that's win, win situation!
Thank you, thank you and thaaank you for your reaction to this story! It has been phenomenal. You are all amazing!
Beauty and the Beast – Chapter Four
As her eyes met his, panic smothered Ana's expression and she began to shake her head. "No, no, no," she began to ramble in a panic. "I said I didn't want him to see me!" Ana screamed out, her voice a shrill cry. "He's not supposed to see me!"
"Ana," Grace barged past her son and rushed to Ana's side. "He wants to be here."
"No, no," Ana whispered feebly, the tears streaming down her face, the ones on the left soaking into the gauze covering her injury. "He doesn't love me." She closed her eyes to escape the sight of Christian and she felt Grace lean in to cover her line of sight for a moment. Opening her eyes she just stared at Grace but, it was too late and she just unravelled. "He can't see me," the first time slipped out as a heightened whispered but, it seemed to just break the ice. "He can't see me!" Ana cried out weakly as Grace tried again to calm her, knowing that sedation was the only viable option. "I'm nothing anymore! He won't love me if I look like this," she flared her nostrils as her breathing hastened. "Grace, you can't let him see more than he has."
"He loves you," Grace commented as she watched from the corner of her eye George push a syringe into Ana's IV. She knew the effects would be instant.
"How can he?" Ana asked as her eyelids began to droop, her words slowing, "How can he ever look at me again?" Ana asked weaker and weaker. "I won't be perfect. He deserves more," her final words were completely slurred and only Grace really heard them.
Grace closed her eyes as Ana finally slipped into unconsciousness and her heart rhythm began to calm. She opened them and stood up straight. She knew it was bound to be a long recovery but, it seemed even Grace undermined this.
Christian barely recognised he was falling until he was slumped on the ground. He once felt like he had the whole world at his hands and now he was nothing more than a lower class simpleton. Without Ana nothing else seemed to matter. Nothing was worth it. She had shown him the best ways of life – ones that didn't need money – and he had clearly shown her he hadn't felt the same.
If he had proved he loved her she would have needed him now. She wouldn't have pushed him away with screaming pleas. If she knew the depth of his love then she would have begged him to stay. He wouldn't have stood at her door watching her panic and he wouldn't be left feeling like he was an intruder.
He suddenly felt himself lifted by Sawyer and Taylor and led out of the ICU and as much as he didn't want to leave Ana, he knew his frenzied behaviour wouldn't bode well with doctors, nurses or patients.
Being sat down, Christian noticed Grace coming towards him and he stood up only to be pushed back down and sat with his mother. "I don't know why she doesn't recognise you. She's seen your picture so many times," Christian admitted to his mother. "She knows everyone. She knew what you looked like. She didn't act like she knew you in there."
"We'll see why when she's not so heavily drugged," Grace told him, not thinking Ana would recognise her right now. "Even before the sedative was administered she has anaesthesia and morphine in her system. Post-op is always confusing for whatever patient. Her body hasn't had chance to settle. It could be days before she is less forgetful, clumsy, hysterical. We can't guarantee."
Christian began to sob uncontrollable and just fell against his mother's chest. He needed human contact and, even at twenty-eight, he needed his mother's touch. He just broke down and felt his mother hold him tightly, speaking to him as she lightly rocked him.
Then suddenly he pushed away," I'm so sorry," he whispered and wiped his face. "I'm sorry I lied," Christian apologised profusely for the way Grace was finding out about his relationship with Ana. "I was going to tell you. It was never supposed to carry on this long."
"For over a year, Christian. How long was it going to last before we found out?" Grace asked exasperated and tried to understand. "Why lie for so long?"
Christian threaded his hands into his hair and leaned forward, his elbows to his knees. Remaining in that position, he spoke up, "At first we mutually decided that it was for the best. Ana had just landed a job and didn't want her relationship to me having leeway. She was worried if people found out she was dating Christian Grey they would assume she would rely on my money more than talent. For me, I just wanted some privacy. I'm sick of being spotted, I didn't want that for Ana, and after Kaitlyn I just wanted to try something new and find my footing again."
Grace watched her son rise up from his seat. She remembered Kaitlyn. She also remembered how much she hated Kaitlyn.
"We got stuck in that way. It was a habit I fucking regret now," Christian stalled for a moment. "I was nearing my breaking point. I fucking love Ana, mom. I didn't know love until I met Ana and I will love her regardless of what happens from here on out. I barely survive without her. I can't begin to comprehend a life without."
"Will you cope with her behaviour being like you just witnessed or will that make you run?" Grace asked cautiously. She wasn't trying to be unsupportive; she was being to be realistic. "She doesn't want you to see her, Christian. You need to face up to that fact now. Can you deal with that rejection?"
Rejection – a nine letter word that sent shivers up Christian's spine. Could he? Could Ana rejecting him over and over, in multiple different forms, make him give up? Closing his eyes he remembered the blissful fifteen months they had shared and it had been filled with so many glorious moments that he knew a future without them in the horizon scared him.
What was worse – fighting for Ana or walking away from her?
Looking to his mother, he hoped he would make her proud, "She is never going to get rid of me." He put his hands on his head as if to open his chest cavity up to made his breathing easier. "God, I tried to keep her out of the public light because I know from the threats I get that she would be an easy target to get at me. Take my money, fine, I can make that back. Take the woman I'm in love with and I'm a goner." Letting out a growl, he stood and began to pace back and forth in front of his mother.
"You were never like this with Kaitlyn," Grace prodded the sore spot in Christian's life.
Christian shook his head, "With Kaitlyn it was different."
"She had daddy's security," Grace rolled her eyes at remembering how ridiculously tight Kaitlyn Brown's security could be.
"Ana is nothing like that, mom. She loved me for me. Not my bank account. She makes her money and doesn't bother me for much. She even put my wallet in the bin the first few months we were dating because she wanted to prove that money wasn't the issue. It has always been about her and I and what we felt." Christian looked to his mother, with doleful eyes as if what he was about to say was coming to a close, "I feel like I finally have what I see you and dad have."
Grace put her hand to heart as she heard that. Everything she had imagined in those dark moments between seeing Ana and learning who she was weren't for nothing. Her son had found his missing piece. After being lost for so long, Grace could see how complete Christian was at the mere thought of Ana.
"If you feel like that don't let it go. Whatever happens from here, you have to fight for it. That's all you can do," Grace literally reprimanded Christian, admittedly administering tough love. He needed that rather than mollycoddling. "She needs to feel you love her not just have the words thrown at her."
"I know," Christian spoke back and wanted nothing more than to start that part of his life. He wanted to enforce the truths but, couldn't. Not with Ana so fragile right now. Her mental and physical state wouldn't take it. "Who would do this to her? Who would do something this brutal?" Christian asked and looked at his mother, at his two guards. The answer wasn't in any of them.
"Think," Grace stood up to meet her son's posture. "Who could have done this? If it wasn't random them who would have done this? Ana knew it was a female."
Christian felt his eyes widen – they had clue number one – but he couldn't think logically. "I mean, thinking about it, there aren't any threats in my life right now. We had problems with Kaitlyn when she saw Ana and I together at the start. She threatened to hurt Ana if I pursued the relationship further." Christian released a humourless laugh, "We decided that was another reason to keep quiet. Ana is so independent she stepped right around me and threatened Kaitlyn back but, we just wanted to make sure we weren't playing with fire. Kaitlyn wouldn't do this," Christian tried to convince himself. "She's not been in my life for nearly a year."
"Could it be Kaitlyn that did this though? Whether she's been in your life or not, Christian, could she have done this?" Grace suddenly asked and she saw that the doubt was there on Christian's face. She was thinking about this rationally. She knew Kaitlyn, and she was a possible candidate.
"I don't know. It's an option," Christian remarked and turned to his mother. "And to be quite honest, as much as I'm after blood, I need Ana to believe I am sincere. I need Ana to see that I don't care what she looks like. I'm in love with her – her love for me, her faith in me, her smile, her laugh, her entire being. Her beauty is just an extension of that." He stopped everything he was doing – his minor pacing, his anger, his breathing and looked to his mother. "I will kill whoever destroyed her." Including myself for starting the ball of fate rolling, Christian's inward voice spoke with a wry tone. Turning to Taylor and Sawyer, Christian meant business. "Get Welch on it," Christian asked Taylor, not going into more detail. Once Taylor nodded and excused himself Christian put his hands to his head and paced. "We need to call Kate," he stopped and looked at Grace who stood confused. "Kate is Ana's best friend."
"Elliot's Kate?" Grace asked and watched Christian nod and Grace realised just how much deceit ran through this entire moment in life. "Oh God," she began to feel the panic rise in her throat, sending heat across her body. "Do you know how many people are going to be affected by you and Ana lying?"
"I do now!" Christian exclaimed forlorn. "I was finally going to tell her that we would share with the world our relationship but, when we argued earlier I just clamed up and this happens! I was so shocked when she told me she had fallen in love with me that I didn't fight like I should have. If I had she wouldn't be here." It was then Christian's breathing faltered on him, "I did this to her."
"No," Grace jumped in to stop her son from going down this path. "Do you know what you father did when I first told him I loved him?" She asked Christian and he shook his head. "He went away for a weekend." She gave an almost sad burst of laughter, "When he came back I thought that was I through but, he proved he was scared of love. We were young, he was terrified of his feelings and he ran from it."
"You just took him back?" Christian asked shocked.
Grace laughed, "God no, I made him work almost six solid months to regain my trust but, Christian, the bottom line is that we loved each other and in the end I understood where he was coming from. Love is scary when it's real but, that's how you know it's pure."
"It is pure. It's the purest thing I know, mom," Christian told Grace and he weakened under the sheer measure of love he had in him. "I think in the end I was running scared. I didn't want to make everyone know about me loving Ana because I was scared I would lose it. Mine and Kaitlyn's breakup was so public and false, I didn't want a repeat."
"Do you see that happening now?" Grace asked Christian and begged for an honest answer.
"No. No I don't. I love Anastasia Steele and she will marry me one day. Right now I need to make her see that and I will make sure everyone knows who I love." His eyes darkened for a moment and he locked eyes with Sawyer across the room, "Especially the bastard that did this. That fucker signed their death warrant the moment they even thought about touching her."
"What about if it is Kaitlyn?" Grace asked, trying to negotiate how far Christian would go to avenge Ana's attack.
"What about her?" Christian asked without even a single ounce of remorse. "She deserves punishment if she's behind this." He took a deepening breath, one that pumped his chest out, "Whoever did this to Ana will make sure they wish they were never born."
"You aren't alone," A masculine voice erupted from behind Christian causing him to swing around.
"I'm Carla," the woman stepped forward, her eyes rimmed with redness and fresh tears. "I'm Ana's mother. This is her father, Ray. We got here as soon as we could."
Well shit! This was not how Christian wanted to meet the parents.
