Thematsaidwelcome drops in on a very special evening while Michonne and Rick are in college. In this chapter, Rick certainly missed his calling as a standup comedian. The characters will have you in stitches. Be forewarned put on your Depends before reading or do so at you own peril.

Please be sure to check out her other works on her FF page.

-We're The Ones Who Write


Chapter 4: The Doppelganger at 20

"So where are you and pretty boy Richie going tonight?"

"That Italian place downtown. Why do you call him that? I thought the pretty boy name was exclusive to Rick." Michonne stood in front of the bathroom mirror getting ready, with Maggie sitting on the edge of the tub and Sasha sitting on the toilet lid. The three friends had been sharing an apartment all sophomore year and never regretted the decision. Not even when Maggie decided she was a cowgirl and brought home random cowboys to see if the "ride" was okay. Or when Sasha thought she'd test her sharp shooting skills by shooting all the framed pictures in the apartment with a nerf gun. They had been friends for years and if they could survive living together, they could survive anything.

"They're practically twins, so it works for both of them." Maggie answered.

"Twins?" Michonne's eyes darted between Sasha and Maggie, not understanding their little inside joke.

"Are you serious Michonne? They look just alike. Tall, dark wavy hair that curls in the back. Great arms and they both walk kind of funny." Maggie said. "Why is that? We know why Rick walks the way he does, but why does Richie? Is he carrying something extra that makes him walk like that?"

"Oh my god, Maggie. Can you not mention that before my date with him."

"Just trying to make things more interesting."

"Anyways Michonne, If we took both their drivers licenses, everything would be the same except the names, and even those are similar." Sasha added.

"Have y'all been drinking? They're nothing alike. Rick is...Rick. He's been the same goofy guy since we were kids. He's nothing like Richie. He's sweet," Michonne said.

"Rick is sweet." Sasha told her.

"Handsome."

"Rick is handsome," Maggie countered.

"Ambitious."

"You and Rick are in the same pre law classes," Sasha said.

"A great kisser." Maggie looked over at Sasha and they laughed.

"We got nothing for that one," Maggie said after she stopped laughing.

"Very funny. My point is, if I wanted Rick, then don't you think I'd just go after him?"

"Well why don't you," Sasha asked.

"Because he's Rick. Who dates their best friend? That's just...no." She shook her head for emphasis.

"I see why y'all are best friends. You're both thick headed," Sasha said.

"And blind," Maggie added.

"As bats. So what did Rick say about your date tonight?" Sasha asked, knowing Rick usually had something to say about any date Michonne went on and it usually wasn't good.

"Actually he was much more supportive than the two of you seem to be." Michonne wiggled her finger between the both of them. "He told me to enjoy myself and to order the most expensive thing on the menu."

"Uh huh…. Enjoy yourself," Maggie and Sasha said together.


"Wow, this place is amazing. I can't believe you got reservations, I heard it's almost impossible."

"Just thought I'd treat my girl to something special on our two month anniversary." Richie pulled out the tall black leather chair for her and she sat down. "You look incredible."

"Thank you. Again." It was the fifth time that night that Richie had told her how good she looked. Although she liked that he noticed, it was getting a bit old. Michonne had taken extra time picking out the right dress. Finally deciding on a tangerine colored off the shoulder knee length dress that accentuated her mesmerizing backside. She suspected that all the compliments were Richie trying to sweet talk her into moving their relationship into the sexual realm, but since she wasn't ready for it, even with her best dress, the expensive restaurant and two months in, she wasn't giving it up tonight.

"So...how did your day go," he asked her as he sat down.

"It was good. I worked at the coffee shop this morning and then hung out with Sasha and Maggie most of the afternoon until I had to get ready…. talked to Rick for a little bit."

"Oh yes…. how is Rick?"

"He's good. He told me to enjoy myself." She took a deep breath and smiled before continuing. "One day I hope you two can get along."

"Looks like we're gonna have to since it doesn't look like he's going anywhere." Richie and Rick's "relationship" left a lot to be desired for Michonne. Rick didn't like Richie, because according to Rick, he was a stuck up, pompous mama's boy who wouldn't know how to find his ass, if his mama didn't draw him a map. She had no clue how he came to that conclusion since Richie went to a neighboring school and they had only met once when Richie came to pick her up for a date at her apartment a month and a half ago.

"Excuse me, Mr. Gunkman," The Maitre'd interrupted. "You have a phone call at the hostess desk."

"Really? Okay." He stood up looking confused. "I'll be right back." Michonne nodded and watched him walk away, noticing his walk, it was kind of goofy. She looked back up when the waiter came to her table.

"Would you like to try tonight's wine ma'am?"

"Yes please." Michonne responded, trying her luck.

"I'll just need to see your ID and I'll get that poured for you."

"My ID?" She reached for her purse, pretending to look for the glossy rectangular piece of identification.

"Sorry about that babe." Richie said returning to the table. "There was no one there, just a bunch of noises?"

"Wine sir?"

"Um…. no, not tonight. My girl hasn't hit 21 yet, don't want to drink without her."

"No problem. What can I get you to drink instead?" They ordered their drinks and looked over the menu. When the waiter came back Michonne ordered the creamy garlic butter Tuscan shrimp pasta and Richie chose the Fettuccine with chicken and roasted red pepper sauce. They handed their menus to the waiter and Michonne started to nibble on the breadsticks.

"Go easy on the carbs. That dish you ordered has enough calories for three days." Michonne was just about to say something when someone came to their table.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Gunkman, there's another call for you." With a sigh, Richie got up and headed towards the hostess desk.

"I thought that was you." Michonne looked up at the woman, a stranger she'd never seen before smiling at her and walking closer.

"Excuse me?"

"You're Michonne right? My Richie has told me a lot about you."

"Oh my god, you're Richie's mom." Michonne thought back to the photo she'd seen of her at Richie's apartment. "Mrs. Gunkman?"

"I am." Michonne stood up and the woman hugged her tight. "You can call me Cassandra dear."

"Yes ma'am."

"Oh so polite. Where did Richie run off to?"

"He got a phone call." Michonne motioned with her hands towards the hostess desk. "Were you here for dinner too?"

"Oh I love this place. A few of my girlfriends and I meet here for dinner once a week."

"Mom?"

"Richie. How is my sweet boy?" She threw her arms out and hugged him around the neck. "You didn't tell me you had a date tonight."

"Would you like to join us?" Michonne asked being polite, not really wanting her to stay.

"I'd love to." Mrs. Gunkman responded excitedly, to the displeasure of Richie who hid it well and brought an extra chair to the table for her to sit.

"So how was your food? They have so much to choose from on the menu." Michonne struck up a conversation, remembering her manners.

"It was excellent dear. I had the chopped salad." She smoothed her hands down the side of her body. "Gotta watch my figure."

"Excuse me, Mr. Gunkman...there's another call for you."

"Wow, you're popular tonight Richie." Michonne said to him. He grumbled and stood up to go answer the call.

"What did you order Michonne?" Mrs. Gunkman asked her, curious as to what a girl with Michonne's figure would like to eat.

"The shrimp pasta." Michonne took a bite of her breadstick.

"Ohh… yeah. You have to be careful with that. All that butter and the carbs in that pasta will go straight to your hips." Her eyes went to Michonne's lower half and she lifted her eyebrows. "It doesn't look like you need any extra pounds back there. My Richie deserves a wife that will always look put together and compliment him at all times."

"A wife?" She nearly choked, needing to take a sip of water to help her bread go down her throat.

"Yes. Isn't that why you're dating him? Marriage is always the end game, right?"

"Sorry about that. Someone keeps calling." Richie told them both when he returned.

"Is it important business Richie?" Mrs. Gunkman asked him.

"Not in the least. The first time was just a bunch of weird sounds. This time, they at least tried to tell a joke."

"A joke?" Michonne asked

"Yeah. He said what do you call a dog with no legs?"

"What?" Michonne asked curiously.

"This better not be a dirty joke Richie."

"It's not mother."

"Well, what's the punchline," Michonne asked anxiously.

"He said it doesn't matter what you call it cause it's not coming." Richie's mother was not amused, but Michonne laughed loudly and for longer than anyone should at such a corny joke.

"Michonne," Richie said sternly, looking around the restaurant and seeing the other diners staring in their direction. "Everyone's looking. Stop laughing."

"You really should listen to him, dear. It's good practice for when you're married." Michonne stopped laughing as soon as she heard the word 'married'. She looked between Richie and his mother with confusion on her face.

"Why do you keep mentioning marriage? That's the last thing on my mind. Richie what have you been telling her?"

"Just how amazing you are. Smart and beautiful. I can see a future for us."

"Isn't that sweet, Michonne? He sees a future for you two. We have a lot of work to do before that happens though," Mrs. Gunkman said looking over Michonne's body again.

"Work?"

"First, you'll need to change your major. A lawyer is a respectable profession, but Richie will need a wife that stays home. There's no need to waste time trying to be a lawyer...interior design would be perfect. That way you'll know what colors to use when you decorate for the seasons."

"The seasons?"

"Oh yes dear. No respectable wife would carry her spring pillows into the summer." Michonne watched as Mrs. Gonkman threw her head back and laughed quietly bringing her hand to her chest before stopping and putting her serious face on display again.

"Mr. Gunkman…," the Maitre'd started.

"A phone call," Richie finished for him.

"Yes." Richie threw his napkin down on the table and huffed to the hostess desk.

"I hope it's nothing silly this time." Mrs. Gunkman told Michonne.

"When he gets back can you tell him I went to the ladies room?"

"Of course dear. Don't make him wait too long. It's rude." Michonne stood up and turned for the restroom, walking past the waiter who was bringing their food, she no longer had an appetite for shrimp.


"Hey...can I chill here for a while? There's a scarf on the front door at my place."

"Of course, but don't you all have your own rooms?" Rick asked as she stepped into his apartment.

"Yeah, but the scarf means Enter at Your Own Risk. I could hear the sounds from outside the door so I decided not to risk it and just come over here. Were you busy?" She looked around and didn't see anyone but him.

"Nah, just about to eat a greasy burger and sample some beers that a coworker gave me for my birthday."

"The perks of being 21." She started walking towards his room. "I'm gonna go change, I have to get out of this dress." Rick watched her make the familiar journey to his bedroom. She had been in there so many times, she knew the layout better than he did. The perks of being "best friends" he thought to himself contentedly. She came back out wearing one of his baseball shirts and a pair of pajama pants that she rolled at the waist to get to fit. He noticed she wore a pair of his socks too.

"Did you leave me any clothes?"

"Funny Rick. You wouldn't happen to have an extra burger would you?"

"Date didn't go well?"

"Feed me and then I'll tell you." He opened the brown paper bag with grease stains on the bottom and pulled out two burgers and a paper tray full of fries.

"You're the best." She clapped her hands and rushed over to the burger, shoving a few fries in her mouth before taking a huge bite, made just how she liked it; mustard, no onion, extra pickles and one tomato slice. After swallowing her first bite, she went on to tell Rick about her date with Richie.

"So you just snuck out," he asked, dropping the last bite of his burger in his mouth.

"Yes, Rick. You would have too if you had met his mother. She just kept talking about marriage and all I could think of was Stepford. Being part of that family would have been horrible. I don't even know what summer pillows are. And I would have to give up carbs!" She looked positively horrified at the very thought of a carb free lifestyle filled with seasonal pillows and forced conversations with her in-laws.

They continued to eat, talk and laugh going through all the foods she would rather die before giving up. After a while, Rick broke out the beer and they sampled ten different bottles. Michonne sipped and made funny faces at the ones she didn't like, but when she found the one she loved, she guzzled it and did a cute dance at the taste.

"Do I get to taste it," Rick asked wanting to know the flavor that had her all excited.

"You've got all these other ones that you liked. This is the only one that tastes good."

"Just one sip?"

"Fine. A tiny sip." She put the rim of the bottle to his lips and widened her eyes in disgust when Rick's wet, pink tongue licked all around it. "Rick! You're so nasty."

"What," he asked innocently. He took the bottle from her hands. "It's just a little slobber." He took a quick sip and then handed it back to her. "I see why you like it. It's kind of weak. Very girly."

"It's not weak!" She took her beer back and took a big pull from it. "It's just not as strong as your 'put hair on your chest' man beers."

"Yeah, yeah." He selected another beer from the table. "You feeling a buzz yet?"

"Is it the warm tingling in my head?"

"Yeah. You like it?"

"It's different. I'm feeling more relaxed now." She took another pull, longer than the first one. "Richie and his mom can go kick rocks. Better yet boulders...really hard...barefoot! Me!" She pointed to herself. "A housewife. Can you imagine? All the hard work I've done and they think I'm gonna spend the rest of my life picking out pillows. All I've ever wanted to do was be a lawyer."

"And you'll be one. A badass lawyer at that." They touched their bottles together in cheers and both took drinks. Michonne finished off hers while Rick still had half his left. He took her empty bottle and dropped it in the brown paper bag. "You'll be the best lawyer and wife a man could ask for." He thought he was being sweet, but Michonne's giggling told him otherwise. She started quietly and then roared with laughter. Rick sat there for six minutes by his watch's time, waiting for her to settle down.

"I'm sorry. It's just that stupid joke….a dog with no legs." She wiped the tears that fell from her eyes. "Who comes up with such a stupid joke?"

"I'm gonna go get you some water, then I think you should head to bed." She yawned as soon as he stood up then followed him to the kitchen.

"This buzz thing is pretty nice. Maybe I'll try something harder next time since my best friend can buy alcohol and all."

"Let's just stick with the beer for a while." He handed her a bottle of water and they started for his bedroom to go to sleep. Sharing a bed was commonplace for the two friends.

"Do you still have my pillow?"

"Yes Michonne." He pulled the extra pillow from his closet where he kept it just for her. He'd learned a while ago, that Michonne didn't care if she left him with no pillow, as long as she had two. After waking up with a stiff neck for the fourth time, he went and bought her an extra pillow to go with the one she already used of his. He tossed the pillow to her and she took her place on her side of the bed, curling up under the covers. Rick laid next to her, on top of the comforter still warm from the beer. He exhaled and threw his arm over his eyes, listening for Michonnes telltale sounds of sleep.

"Rick." She whispered his name, even though it was only them.

"Hmm."

"I will be a badass wife and lawyer one day."