Chapter 4: Confessions in the Snow
The chime of the clock tower in downtown Misaki echoed through the snow filled air marking nine in the evening. At this hour many of the businesses that had remained open for the festival were beginning to close up for the holiday and much of the city began to fall dark. Traffic along the bridge crossing the Mana river which divided the city in half dwindled to only a handful of stragglers; all of whom were too preoccupied with their own affairs that the sight of a young girl with flowing black hair sprinting across the span drew no immediate attention. She was probably rushing home to make her curfew as to avoid any Christmas repercussions that might follow her tardiness. She did look to be of elementary school age but it was Christmas eve so who was to judge her for her actions.
Shana pushed her diminutive legs as hard as she could to maintain her forward movement in the slick sheet painting the ground. The thought of springing her flaming wings and flying home had crossed her mind; but she had stirred up enough of a commotion at the café and did not want to attract anymore unwanted attention. So she ran. The falling snow splattered her face but it helped to mask the tears dripping from her brown eyes. The entire night was falling apart around her and she desperately wanted to escape from the world. How could Yuji not know what he felt about her? He touts all his nonsense about wanting to protect her but still not admit he has some type of feelings for her. His only response being he had no answer for her. It was a load of bull and she would normally have called him out on it. Instead here she was sprinting through the winter's night. The Flaming Hair and Blazing Eyed Hunter had fled.
She began to decelerate to a jog as she followed a familiar path running atop a steep embankment that ran parallel to the river. Many people had followed the main road into the downtown portion of the city and left much of the snow undisturbed along the road. Shana fought to keep her footing in nearly two inches of white fluff. What in the world was getting into her? Was it the shock that Yuji had not immediately returned her affections? Perhaps if she had just come out and said 'I love you' instead of beating around the bush things might have played out differently. She could speculate all she wanted. The deed was done and she would have to live with the results of her actions. Regardless of how much she hated it.
Shana's marathon finally ended once she approached the top of the flight of stairs leading down the hill to the shore of the river itself. She could not explain it but something had drawn her to this location. She and Yuji would frequently come down to this spot on their way to school for early morning training once Yuji had graduated to more advanced combat training that could not done in Yuji's backyard. It was also at the top of these stairs that their journey had unofficially begun. It's hard to believe it's been so long since that day. She reached into her pocket and pulled her necklace out. Tossing the chain over her head and back around her neck, it felt as though she was being reunited with a missing piece of herself.
"Is everything okay, Shana?" Came Alastor's baritone voice from the oval amulet.
Shana did not immediately replay. Instead she gingerly stepped down the concrete staircase taking care not to stumble over a missed step. Reaching the bottom, she kicked the snow off the last step and sat down. It felt damp on her legs but she ignored the slight discomfort. The wind kicked up the freshly fallen snow into her face which she shrugged off. It was in this location where Yuji had given her the name Shana. In a way, Shana thought, my love for Yuji began here. That simple act had set the wheels of fate into motion and now she was at a crossroads of sorts.
"You are wondering whether you should still confess your true feeling for Yuji Sakai, are you not?" Alastor broke the silence.
Shana replied with a nod. "I swore I would tell him that I loved him tonight." She cut valleys in the snow with the tip of her boot. "I tried to tell him over tea, but after he said he didn't know how to respond to me wanting to be more than friends, I panicked and here we are now." She tugged on some of her hair lying across her shoulders and groaned. "This night has been a disaster."
"Communicating with others has never been one of your more refined skilled. You could have avoided all of this if you had just taken the time to listen and talk it out with the boy."
"You cannot blame me for things you and Wilhelmina never taught me about." She tried to remember back to her early life and every lesson she could recall involved either combat training or what it means to be a Flame Haze. There had never been a course on interpersonal communication.
"We wanted to proceed with that stage of your education, but when the palace was attacked our hand was forced. Ideally, I would have preferred another four or five years for you to mature more before entering into our contract."
Alastor never sugar coated any point he was trying to make. It was one of the things Shana had grown to love about him, even if he would occasionally get under her skin.
"I think I've come a long way. I can interact with my classmates with little difficulty. It's just Yuji that pushes my buttons the wrong way."
"You had preconceived expectations of how he would respond to you, Shana. If you had kept an open mind and heart you would be able to see the situation from his vantage point. He had endured more in these past eight months than most humans would in a lifetime. It is only natural that he would be unsure of what direction he wishes to go. I recall you found yourself in the same situation not too long ago."
She could not argue with Alastor's logic and reasoning. As soon as she had seen Yuji arrive at the clock tower it felt as though everything would fall neatly into place. They would spend much of the evening doing whatever came about in the city. At the end of the night she would lead him to this spot and cement it all with the three words that hold so much power. Never once did it ever occur to her that something totally different might transpire and throw a wrench into the fairy tale playing out in her head.
The ice cube she was sitting on was beginning to send shivers throughout her body. How long had it been? Had Yuji gone directly home from the café? Shana would not blame him if he had done so. She had been a jerk to him and embarrassed him in public for no reason. It was wishful thinking that he would come this way looking for her. She scanned the bridge and found it to be deserted. She twisted to peer up the hill and into the dim lights illuminating the street above her. The snow amplified the rays and she could barely make out a silhouette walking in her direction. Her heart began to flutter again when she saw the flickering blue flame in the figure's chest.
"There's Yuji." she said.
"And what is it you intend to do when he notices you?" Asked Alastor.
What to do indeed. She had grown tired of this emotional roller coaster she was riding. In just a few short hours she's felt joy, anger, sorrow, rage, and heartbreak. Just the shadow of the young man she loved set her mind and heart into a maelstrom of confusion. If she did not find some way to vent it all she swore she could erupt into an inferno rivaling the Hiroshima bomb. What she would do for a poor unfortunate crimson denizen to appear and feel her female wrath.
There was also the matter of confessing her love for Yuji. She thought she had worked out how to use the unrestricted method she had learned from Shiro but it did not appear to affect Yuji tonight. She needed to make it work. She had to make Yuji realize he felt the same for her like she knew he did. How she was going to go about do that still eluded her. Every second Yuji inched closer to her and she felt herself going into a panic.
"Damnit. There is only one thing I can do." She undid the buttons and sash on her coat.
"Don't be reckless." Warned Alastor. "Harming Yuji will not solve your dillemma."
Shana materialized her black trench coat and slipped it on. "Speaking will get me nowhere at this point so I'm going to let my blade do the talking for me."
As if on cue, the Nietono no Shana appeared from within he jacket.
With her blade in hand, Shana walked farther onto the embankment until she was just feet away from the river's edge. Even in the sub freezing temperature, the Mana river continued to flow unobstructed. There was little doubt Yuji would be able to miss her radiating red figure against the black and white backdrop. She wanted to delay casting a seal for as long as possible. There was no point in startling Yuji before they met face to face. She glanced back toward the hill and found Yuji sliding down the incline. He landed at the base as gracefully as Shana could have expected. On all fours and in slight pain.
Yuji brushed the snow off his clothes and continued walking towards the girl enveloped by blazing red and orange embers. Shana focused in on her target and could not help but notice the look of determination in his eyes. Maybe he was angry with her. It was rare that Yuji would loose his cool but when he did, even Shana would take a step back. But not this time. She stood steadfast and prepared to hold her ground. All negotiations had failed and battle was all but certain. It appeared that Yuji realized it as well as he paused roughly ten feet away from Shana.
"You care to explain what's going on, Shana?" His voice was even and stern like that of an angry military commander. "You haven't been acting like yourself most of the night and then you run off without any explanation. Now I find you standing out in the snow ready to fight something or someone. What is going on?" He took extra care to emphasize the last four words.
Shana stood unwavering. She wanted to expel a flurry of blows right then an there but a surprise attack might open Yuji for serious injury if he was not quick in activating the Azure treasure he wore around his neck.
"Yuji... I am an emotional wreck." Best to be honest. "Tonight wasn't supposed to happen like this. So many mixed signals and emotions; I don't even know what to think anymore." Flames eruped form her sword and she sliced the air in the direction of the river. The fiery arc created a small steam explosion as it encountered the glacial waters. Water droplets showered down atop the pair. "I just wanted a simple answer to my letter. It seemed like you understood at first but you began to backtrack the more we talked. Then you dodged it all together."
Shana's hands ached as she gripped the sword's handle as her body was locked into the downward swing. She stood in silence, teeth grinding to the point where it felt they would fuse together, hoping for some form of a response from Yuji. She heard snow crunching underfoot inching closer to her. Each passing second forced her inner turmoil to boil more and more until she felt a Temppa Jousai was inevitable.
"I'm sorry about that. You blindsided me with that revelation and of course I wouldn't know what to feel. You've always been a very good friend, but I never considered the thought of being more than that until you brought it up."
"Cast a seal!" Shana shouted in anguish. In a flash, the river valley was enveloped in a large red tinted dome extending several hundreds of feet into the sky. The world was cast in a dark red tint. All living and mechanical items froze in place apart from the pair standing in the middle of the snow.
Shana felt her body loosen and instantly cut a swath of flame into the direction of Yuji's voice. The attack erupted into an explosion the moment it impacted the ground throwing dust and melted snow in every direction.
The smoke cleared quickly with the steady breeze blowing off the water and the blue glow of the Azure's protective shield began to peek thought the clouds. Yuji emerged unaffected by the attack still standing in the same position staring down at Shana. He made a fist with his right hand and twisted his body into the form of a discus thrower about to let the projectile fly. He swept his arm quickly in front of him and the ensuing gust of energy dissipated the remaining haze.
"This is not the way to fix your problems, Shana." He began approaching her. "Just give me a chance to explain myself"
Shana was beyond this talking game. "Shut up and draw Blutsauger!" She prepared herself to attack a second time. "Or would you rather rely on using your power of existence to fight. Not that you are skilled enough to make any use of it to beat me."
She watched as Yuji's eyes narrowed and he reached into his jacket's inner pocket. "So you insist on fighting me for whatever reason you feel is necessary." He produced an ornate bookmark from within his jacket and, with a flick of his wrist, tossed the item into the air. It erupted into a plume of black dust and out of the dust fell a rather large blade. Unlike Shana's weapon, Blutsauger was longer than Yuji was tall at nearly 210 centimeters. The blade weighed about that of a small call to the average human. However, once power of existence is injected, the sword becomes manageable. It's blade began rather thick at the base but narrowed towards the middle before flaring out slightly again. He had asked Shana to let him train with the weapon only recently but his skill with the blade had grown quite remarkably in such a short time.
The duo stood opposite from each other, weapons at the ready, waiting for the other to make the first move.
In an instant the clang of metal on metal rang though the still air. Yuji and Shana stood face to face, locked in a dual of strengh.
"Do you have any idea how much you've put me through?" Said Shana.
"You care to elaborate? What did I do to make you so upset?"
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut Up!"
The outburst distracted Shana long enough for Yuji to gain the upper hand and he forced Shana back. She had to bunny hop several times to keep her balance. She was eventually able to get a foot planted and she launched into another attack.
Yuji saw and countered with a blast of invisible energy that propelled Shana into the air. She sprouted her hawk-like wings of flame and hovered out over the water.
"He's gotten even stronger since earlier tonight." Shana commented to her pendant.
"Indeed. You must not let your guard down. I do not believe he would harm you but he still lacks discipline."
"I intend it end this quick."
A vortex of fire wrapped around Shana's sword. She swung the blade like a batter aiming for that game winning home run and a pillar of flame erupted into the ground in front of Yuji. The force of the impact sent the boy tumbling tumbling though the air and into the nearby hill.
Seeing an opportunity, Shana streamlined her body and dove out of the sky like a burning meteorite. She gathered as much fire into her outstretched fist and zeroed in on the location Yuji had landed. The assault was halted upon impacting a rogue ball of flame that seared one of her legs. She had just enough time to see a second beach-ball size ball of light blue flame narrowly miss her face. Through the dust below her, Shana could see Yuji preparing another barrage using Blutsauger to bat the orbs into the air. Shana batted her wings and retreated back up into the night sky so she could assess the unforeseen turn of events.
"The boy appears to have gained some control over his power of existence." Alastor mused.
Shana nodded. "His flame is not silver anymore, either."
"It appears whatever connection between the silver and the Reiji Maigo was broken when it was removed."
"That's a relief."
The bombardment never ceased and Shana was forced to fly evasively, rising and falling rapidly and in erratic patterns. The attacks posed little threat to her individually. Yuji might have been able to master the skill or creating the attacks, but he still lacked strength to put any meaning full power behind them. That was not to say the effect of getting carpet bombed by dozens was something she wanted to be the test subject of. She was more worried about how nonchalantly he was tapping into his power. The last time they had trained using it, he struggled reliably materialize the power, let alone use it as a weapon. How would he know his limits?
"Damnit, Yuji! You want to disappear?!"
Her anger refueled, Shana prepared herself for one final attack. She rose as high into the sky as she could, a trail of blue tracer fire retraced her path. She counted to five and stopped her ascent on a dime. She corkscrewed her body and began a spiral motion as she angled herself for a head on assault. Just one hit. I only need one hit. Her body again ignited and her descent left several strands of fire twirling behind her. Everything in her being helped fuel the fire.
"This is for all your bullshit, Yuji!" Shana extender her molten fist before her and braced for the inevitable impact.
Then it came. But something instantly felt wrong. Instead of a pain in her fist, a sharp snap hit her across her back just below her shoulders. Before she knew it her body was plowing a trough across the icy earth. She eventually came to rest against the base of the embankment. Her flame went out as well as the seal around them.
Shana gnawed on her bottom lip as she struggled to pull herself up. A salty liquid filled the inside of her mouth as she forced herself into a sitting position, her back aching with every movement. She spat the red water from her mouth and shook her head to clear her eyes but the tears bubbling up made the task difficult.
"How..."
"You get everything out of your system?"
Shana looked up and found Yuji standing in front of her. His clothing was wrinkled and dusty but he did not appear to even have a scratch on him. She could tell the same could not be said about her just from the way she felt. Just when she thought things could not possibly get worse, they did. She felt humiliated. She loathed loosing at anything, but loosing to Yuji was more than her pride could shoulder. She reached around in the snow and found the razor sharp blade of her sword. The pain radiating from her fingers and the rest of her body was nothing compared to the pain in her heart. Her eyes burned and her insistent sobs made breathing difficult. Shana used the sword as a crutch and pulled her wobbly body to it's feet.
"You're the reason I feel this way. You've been screwing with my head from the first day I met you. Everything you did after learning of your fate deviated from all of my past experiences and for some reason it annoyed me to no end. I wanted to see you as just a torch but you would never let up trying to keep your human identity to the point where you humanized me with this name. It distracted me to the point that even Alastor suggested that I destroy you. I really wanted to but when it came time to kill you, I couldn't. I had hoped having Wilhelmina do the deed would be easier on me, but the thought of not having you around suddenly tore at my heart."
"I never let any human influence my actions until you came along. You just..." She paused for a moment. "You give me this power and determination that I had never felt before. When you are gone, I feel lost and yearn for you to come back to my side. This feeling..., I tried to hard to suppress it. I did all I could to hide from it. But now I just can't lie to myself anymore!"
Shana tossed her sword aside out of frustration. Her legs continued to wobble from fatigue and the adrenaline rushing through her veins. Though it all she stood firm and gazed at Yuji with eyes burning without the infusion of power of existence.
"I was falling in love with you, Yuji Sakai." She extended her arms out to her sides. "I fought for you. I bled for you. I nearly died for you. I did all of this because I loved you and I will do anything to keep you by my side. I was so afraid that you would reject my love that I kept I locked inside for all this time. Just look at how I reacted when you said you were unsure of your feelings." She took a deep breath. "Please Yuji. Can you find it in your heart to love me in the same way I do for you."
Shana could feel her heart racing all throughout her body even though her limbs felt tingly to the point of numbness. Her heart had be laid on the floor for the first time in her life but if felt like a steel girder had been lifted from her shoulders. She could not help but feel terrified at the prospect of her first heartbreak. Everything was now in Yuji's hands.
"I never expected you to open up like that, Shana. I guess everyone has their own breaking point." He scratched his head in what looked to be embarrassment. "I've never had a crush on anyone before so I suppose I was oblivious of your feelings since I've never felt them myself. I apologize for that." He bowed his head. "I won't let it happen again. I like you a lot, Shana. It might not be as intense as you feel at this moment, but I'm sure it can grow with time." He smiled. "Will that suffice for now?"
Yuji's smile did appear sincere; however, Shana was skeptical of everything tonight. He did not openly return the same feelings she felt towards him, but Yuji saying he liked her was enough of a start. Shana was sure she could coerce him into loving her fully in a short time. She did have the most powerful unrestricted method at her disposal. In any case, this leg of her arduous journey of love was at an end. She just needed to take care of one last matter of business.
"Come over here, Yuji."
Yuji's face turned as red as a ripe apple as he stepped up to Shana. She flashed him a suggestive smile which Yuji started to return just as his left cheek caved in by the impact of a sudden right hook.
Shana stood over the boy lying in a heap in the snow clutching his face. "That feels better." She flexed her stinging fist. "Now we are even."
"I should have seen that coming." Yuji groaned.
Shana laughed as she extended a hand to help the young man up. Yuji joined in as soon as he was back on his feet.
The clock tower stuck the beginning of another hour in time as well as the beginning of a new page in the lives of the newly minted coupled laughing with each other in the falling snow. Both were blissfully unaware of the two figures hovering in the sky just out of their immediate eyesight. On the eleventh bell the two were flying off back towards a familiar apartment complex to await the return of the blazing eyed flame haze.
(a/n)
I thought the last chapter was hard but this nearly killed me. The confession was rewritten some ten to fifteen times before I settled on this iteration. I hope you readers like it. I'm going to try to get one more chapter out before the new year. Depends on how busy work is leading to Christmas. Thanksgiving was hectic enough.
Thank you again for taking the time to read my story.
