It's amazing how easy it is to talk to Quinn.
Sometimes I even let myself forget about the accident for a few seconds because it feels so much like the old days.
But then I ask her if she likes something and she doesn't know and reality comes crashing me.
Her favorite color isn't red anymore.; it's white. And she doesn't like cheese; which was a plus for me.
Since that day we went out for coffee – five days ago – we have met up every day at her house. We talked a lot all the time but never about the past.
I helped her through all the albums she possessed and the songs on her computer. She deleted some of them because she didn't know ''how could her old self listen to something like that.'' We had marathons of F.R.I.E.N.S and Battlestar Galactica – which I managed to stay awake for and actually enjoyed – and watched some classics like Titanic, a Walk to Remember and some from my musical collection of course.
But today she has a notebook and pen in hand when I walk into her room. Her mom had let me in like always and I find her lying in her bed on her stomach, ''Hey.''
She looks up from the empty page in front of her and smiles at me, ''Hi!''
I walk over to her and sit by her side, ''So… what are you doing?'' I say pointing at it.
''Well, my therapist suggested, and I thought it was a good idea, to write everything down. The things my mom, Santana and everyone else has told me and the things you will tell me. I think it will be helpful.''
So she wants to actually talk today, ''Oh ok, sounds good.''
''Yeah, especially since I didn't keep a journal, diary or anything like that. It would have been nice to know what kinda of person I was and the things I was going through from my perspective.''
''Yes that may be true. But now, you have the chance to write things from other people's point of view, and soon it will come back to you and you will have the whole picture.''
''Will I?''
Which one of the things I said is she referring to? ''What?"
She looks defeated and stares at her hands blankly, ''Get my memories back. I'm starting to think that maybe I never will.''
''Quinn,'' I eye her gently and she turns her head to look at me, ''It's been only a mouth.'' I continue, ''you are just now starting to really heal. Give it time.''
She sighs, ''If you say so.''
I grin and roll my eyes playfully in hope to get a smile from her, ''I do say so! Now come on, tell you where to start!''
She holds back her laughter and frowns playfully, ''You really do love to talk hmm?"
I pout, ''I can't tell from your tone if that was meant as an insult or not and it worries me.'
X
''It was not.''
It really wasn't, I love her voice. For all I care she could talk for hours and I would gladly listen, hanging up on every word.
She smiles at me and raises her eyebrows as if saying 'Yeah right.'
I know what I wanna ask first. I just don't know if it is my place. She's been an amazing friend. I call her my friend. And not only because it is what she used to be but becase it is how I feel about her.
I feel safe with her. I trust her.
''I-I wanted to ask you something but I didn't mean to intrude. You don't have to answer if you don't want to.''
''Ask away.''
''Why aren't you wearing your engagement ring? I mean, I know you didn't get marry because when you heard about my crash you went to the hospital but-but did you two break up for good?''
''It's okay, really. And yes we did. Breaking up was the right thing to do. We are not the same as we were two years ago. We changed. We changed each other, and for the worse. We are better off.''
I can't explain why but that information makes me relieved and happy, ''That's good. I mean, that you are okay with it.''
She grins at me and nods.
I clear my throat, ''What happened at the wedding day? What did we fight about?"
She looks at me as if she is choosing her words and I wish I could read her mind, ''Well, you weren't a fan of the idea and were trying to keep me from going through with it.''
Ok that was interesting. Why would I do that?
''Why?'' I ask her.
''Because you were being a good friend. You were trying to keep me from making a huge mistake.''
''Ok. And it was a mistake, right?''
''Yes it was. I was losing my track. I wasn't focusing on my career and my dreams and was feeling miserable. But now I can go back to it. We are two months away from Nationals and three away from graduation, and I want to make the most of it and hopefully get into NYADA!''
''You will, don't worry.''
''How can you know that? You haven't even heard me singing yet.''
I can't. But I have a feeling this girl can do anything she wants.
It's just the way she is. She keeps you hanging on contagiously, she enters the room and you can't help but watch and be amazed.
''Well yes, I haven't, but I'm sure you are amazing. Which, by the way, leads me to the question; why haven't I? You are supposed to be the biggest start and diva and still, I have gone to three Glee club meetings and haven't seen you perform!''
She smirks, ''That's because I have been practicing alone at the auditorium.''
''That's unfair! I wanna hear it!''
''Don't worry, you will soon. Now! What you wanna know next?''
''Tell me,'' I stop and take a deep breath, I have been wondering about this for days now and tons of things have crossed my mind. None of them seemed right tho, ''why is our past complicated?"
''Ok… you are gonna write what I say or? Cause you haven't written anything yet.''
''I will write later. After you leave.''
''Oh alright.''
She stays silent and I begin to get extremely nervous, ''Rachel?''
She shakes her head, ''Right! Sorry!'' She looks away, and sighs, ''Well, you used to-''
She doesn't finish her sentence and I find myself biting my lower lip in anticipation, ''Used to what?"
''Bully me.''
My eyes widen, ''What!''
''Yeah.'' she says softly, ''Sophomore year. You would call me names, order slushies to be thrown at me, write mean things on my MySpace page, also draw pornographic pictures of me in the bathrooms walls...''
''Ok that last one is really weird but – are you serious? Was I really like that to you?'' I emphasize the 'you' because Rachel is the sweetest person I have ever met – even tho I don't remember everyone I have ever met I'm sure of that – and the thought of doing those things to her?
''Yes you were, but after you got pregnant things got better between us. You realized you could relate to me and I supported you so we kind of bonded.''
x
A/N: I'm sorry this is so short and also, probably filled with typos! I just wanted to update and hopefully I will update again tomorrow! Senior year is eating me alive and I have never studied so much in my life. Sometimes I wonder if I'm crazy for wanting to go to Med School (or Law School, still haven't decided...)!
smartblonde317 and nickd93: I'm glad you like the Pezberry friendship! More of that later ;)
MaJorReader619: Thank you, I'm in fact feeling better now! Your reviews are always the best ones and make my day!
Tomlinsane: You are not the only one, I've been reading fanfiction like crazy (even tho I haven't had a lot of time) and this past two weeks have been hell haha. Thank you so much! You made me blush with the ''amazing author'' because really, I don't think my writing is good lol but I'm glad you enjoy this story!
Nightlancer600: Hey thanks! I'm glad you like it! I relate more to Quinn so writing in Rachel's POV is... interesting! haha :D
