In Chapter 3 Leena is able to break free from the Saarne Institute and successfully makes it to her sister's house. When she arrives, she has a tearful and emotional reunion with the older sister she hasn't seen in six years. Subsequently, her sister must hide Leena from the authorities...
Syrah and I sat on the edge of the bed in the darkened bedroom. I began shivering in fear knowing the authorities were probably on there way to this very address. I feared I would surely be carted away in a straightjacket tonight. I would rather die first than allow myself to be snatched away from my sister's arms!
"Syrah, they'll be here any minute, I KNOW IT!" I told her, my voice trembling. My sister stood up and opened up her closet. I stood up and followed her. She pushed her clothing aside and a small door was behind them. "Leena, theres a crawlspace behind this door" she told me. "If they come I can hide you in there, they won't find you Leena, I promise!" she whispered. I hugged her around the waist in fear. "Don't worry" she said. "I won't let my sister be taken away, your safe, you understand me, your safe here!" "For how long though?" I asked looking up at her. "I'll have to leave sooner or later" I told her.
"Leena come sit back down on the bed with me so we can talk" she told me gently. She held my small hands in hers as we seated ourselves. I gazed up into her beautiful brown eyes. "Leena, why are you in such a rush to be talking about leaving as soon as you got here?" she asked. "I just mean I'll have to go outside eventually" I said. "I think you mean something else honey" she said concerned. It was true, I did mean something else. I sighed heavily and looked her in the eyes. I couldn't lie to Syrah. My everything. My best friend. "This is going to sound crazy to you Syrah...to be honest...I want a family to adopt me again."
Syrah stood up angrily and shook her finger in my face. "Leena NO! We are not going through this again! Leena if you try it you WILL get caught, do you HEAR me! I know you want a relationship with a man but this is NOT the way to go about it, do you understand me?" she pleaded. "Look what happened when father turned you away...you killed him...and what happened to the man who adopted you last time when he turned you away...you killed him and 3 of his family members." Syrah was pissed and I was hurt. "I'm 32 and stuck in a fucking child's body" I cried. The tears came down.
"Do you think I like going through all that little girl bullshit just to get a man, the dresses, the make-up, do you think I enjoy it, do you think I like being a little girl named Esther, DO YOU?" I asked. "I wish I could be a normal woman like you are but I can't" I cried. "This is my life!" She put her hands on my shoulders and sat back down. "Leena, I don't mean to yell at you but I know how unstable you are, your very sick, and God forbid should you hurt anybody else, I'm just trying to look out for you. I know you want to be loved by a man and thats fine." I controlled my anger.
"It's easy for you to say Syrah, you had a husband and how many lovers. I've never had that except for father." I told her. "Honey, he molested you, he molested me, are you so sick you can't see that what he did was wrong?" she asked. In my own mind I loved my father both platonically and romantically and to me, call me what you will, there is nothing wrong with that. I didn't answer my sister but I could tell she knew what I was thinking. "Jesus Christ" she responded. "And how are you planning about getting "adopted" again? Are you going to keep this up forever?" she asked angrily. "Just like last time" I told her. "I can live at an orphanage and wait for a family, for a man."
"No Leena!" my sister hissed. "I'm not going to let you or anybody else get hurt again, I love you but you need to listed to fucking common sense. Are you listening to yourself?" she pleaded intently. "Well then maybe I should go back to getting fucked as a prostitute" I told her sarcastically. "Would that be a better option, maybe get another STD like I did before? Shit I murdered two of my customers" I shouted. "Leena just calm down and lets talk like adults here, I'll be damned before I let you become a prostitute again to support yourself. I will not let you become some whore again!" she cried.
"I'M A WHORE?" I cried pointing to myself. I stood up in front of my sister. "No Leena you're not a whore, I'm sorry, that was the wrong word, I'm sorry" she whispered. "Well what the hell else was I supposed to do, everyone thinks I'm nine years old, think I can get a job, or an apartment? Getting adopted is the only way to keep a roof over my head and it's not just about getting a man" I told her matter of factly.
"Leena, go look in the mirror, you look 32 years old!" she told me. I rolled my eyes at her and crossed my arms. I was furious. My sister just wasn't understanding my position. "Leena, your sick, we both can admit to that, and I understand you see things differently than I do but I will not let you put yourself or somebody else in danger honey I just can't accept that." she said in desperation. "Syrah, what do you truly think of me, I know you love me, but what do you think of me? Are you proud of me? Do I make you scared? Just tell me straight Syrah, everybody else passed judgment on me." I shrugged as I stood in front of the mirror.
I looked at my face. She certainly was right I did look my age without the make-up. I turned and faced her. She sat there are stared at me. "Not a day has gone by while you were locked away in the mental hospital where I wasn't worried sick as a dog about you." she whispered. Our anger had gone down. "I worried everyday about your mental and physical well-being. I cried when your doctor told me you were attacking staff and were confined to a fucking straight jacket like a mad woman." Syrah was distraught. "No matter how many people you killed I always loved you and never judged you because your not evil..you're...you're sick. You were fucking raped for Christ's sake." I simply listened to her.
"But, Leena Klammer, this has always bothered me and you would understand why but I need an answer because it's haunted me for all these years." she said softly. "Yes?" I whispered. "Why did you murder seven people Leena? I mean I understand why you killed our father but why innocent people Leena? Why two children? Why a wife? Please don't hate me for asking but why kill people who never hurt you?" she shook her head.
"Syrah, when all you want be is loved you'll do anything to get it." I sat down on the bed and curled into a ball. "When my adopted father turned me down last time something just snapped. I really don't have an answer as to why. I was just so angry at being rejected that I felt everybody had to pay. When those two customers broke off our relationship I felt killing them was the only way to make things right." Syrah look at me so concerned. She gently stroked my hair. "I feel no remorse for anything I've did, not even killing those two little boys bothers me" I added. My sister seemed genuinly disturbed.
"But Syrah I would never hurt you" I told her longingly. I sat back up. "Dr. Varava told me I was what they call a psychopath, a person who is emotionally dead and devoid of feelings, who can hurt others without remorse, like Jeffrey Dahmer or Ted Bundy or Charles Manson, but I don't know for sure if it's true or not" I told Syrah. "I didn't just kill randomly like those people did, it was just feeling rejected sister, it cut into me like a knife into butter Syrah." Syrah searched for words. "Leena, you literally have no remorse? Psychopath or not your still my sister and again no matter what you did I still love you and I know your telling me the truth." she whispered.
"When I killed somebody it was like a demon took control or something, it was like I lost all control" I explained. "Your just sick Leena, your mentally ill. You were so brutally raped by our father it's no wonder your as fucked up as you are." she added. "When I was at the Saarne Institute I attacked the staff because they mistreated me, they mocked me and called me names." I told her. "You don't know how happy I am to be in your home Syrah". I told her. "Our home Leena, our home." I became lost in my sister's eyes. I sat close to her.
I then sat up on my knees and placed my hands on her head. "It doesn't matter who loves each other, just so long as the love is there, and Syrah I love you more than life itself!" With that I pressed my lips against my sisters and tried to French kiss her. I slid my tongue into her mouth as she fell back on the bed with me and tried to fight me off. I fell off her and she smacked me full force across the face. I collapsed on the bedroom floor in a heap.
"YOU SICK WOMAN!" she shouted. "YOU WOULD DO THAT TO YOUR OWN SISTER?" she screamed. I sat on the floor in a ball and cried hysterically. "I thought...I thought you loved me" I cried out. Syrah was disgusted and shocked. "My God your sicker than I thought, you love me romantically don't you, DON'T YOU? What in God's name are you thinking?" she asked. I was shaking. "Don't hate me Syrah, please!" I pleaded. I buried my hands in my face and cried loudly. "Leena, maybe you should go back to the hospital, your obviously still very ill" she told me. "I don't blame you for what you just did." I collapsed at her feet. "God no Syrah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, please don't turn me in. Please for God's sake hide me when they come" I cried. "Don't you ever do that to me again Leena, you are my fucking sister!"
I nodded at her, still crying. "You really are willing to look for romance anywhere arn't you Leena? Even me?" she asked. "Your that damn desperate for somebody?" I stared up at her from the floor as she sat there on the bed. She just shook her head pathetically. "Leena, I won't turn you in you know that" she told me. "But you've said alot of stupid things and I'm worried sick that your still dangerous." I was struggling to find the words. "I...I...I just can't help myself sometimes Syrah, just please understand me" I cried. I put my head in her lap and balled my eyes out. She rubbed my back. "This whole mess isn't your fault Leena, I just want you to know that" she whispered.
Suddenly a loud knocking sounded. I jolted from her lap and sat upright, my tear-filled eyes wide open with fear. "Police Department, open the door immedietely" a man shouted. Syrah grabbed my hand and swung open the door to the crawlspace. "Hide in here" she whispered as I crawled in. "Don't make a move or a sound, I'll talk to them, don't cry Leena, you'll be fine, just stay there." She closed the door behind me and moved her clothing back into place. I then heard the closet door close. I was shocked to hear Dr. Varava's voice. I can imagine him and his crones with a straight jacket ready to carry me away in an ambulance with the police in tow. I heard my sister telling them that I wasn't here and that she hadn't heard from me.
The police informed her that they would search the house and I could hear them rumaging around every nook and cranny. Her house was small and before long they were in the bedroom. I heard the closet door open and the rustling of clothing. To my surprise the authorities did not notice the small crawlspace door and I hear the closet door close again. For a good ten minutes the men searched. "If you hear anything from Leena Klammer, you are bound by law to call the police and myself immedietely" I heard Dr. Varava bark. "Yes, sir" she replied. "But again she is not here, she must have run off into the country." I breathed a sigh of relief for I knew I was safe.
Soon the closet door opened and my sister opened up the door to the dark crawlspace. "Give me your hand" she whispered. I did so and she pulled me out. "Syrah, thank you so much, I owe everything to you now!" I sobbed. "Let's just hope they stay gone, theres a chance they could come back" she told me. I nodded. Suddenly Syrah took my hands and noticed something. She stared at my wrists and then my neck. "Honey?" she asked. "How did you get these terrible scars?" I smirked. "My straight jacket, I was always fighting to get out of it and it cut into me" I told her. She simply nodded in concern.
"Listen sweetie, we've had a long night, are you hungry?" she asked. "No" I replied. "In that case lets get some sleep and we can both think with clearer heads in the morning Leena, hop into bed but I'm warning you if you make a move on me again I'll break your neck" she laughed. "I'm sorry about that Syrah, please, I'm just..." She cut me off and put her finger to my lips. "I understand, lets just get some sleep, all the doors are locked, we'll be safe tonight and we'll figure out what to do tomorrow, I'll make us a nice breakfast" she said softly. She bent over and gave me a kiss on the forehead. We climbed into bed together. "Good night Leena, welcome home". I kissed Syrah on the forehead. "I'm glad to be here, good night Syrah" I said lovingly.
I was still scared and nervous. The manhunt was going on outside the house. I laid there is bed next to my sister wondering what I would do next. I knew sooner or later I would have to become Esther again. I would have to put on the dresses and the hair ribbons and play the part once again. Although I listened to Syrah's logic I knew that if I did this I would eventually find a man to accept me and a father figure is the only form I know. I knew I had to but not now. For now I could try and rest easy. It took me over an hour but I was so exhausted that I eventually fell asleep despite all the emotional and mental turmoil rolling through my mind. What the next day would bring was a mystery to the both of us...
In Chapter 5 Leena must pass herself off as Esther in order to make it in public but will Syrah go along with the idea? Will Leena stay in Syrah's home or run off to an orphanage to find another family? More shortly...thanks to everybody for the continued feedback...writers thrive off it! I will be continuing this series for a good while to come...
