Thanks to the following who left me their kind comments for chapter three: verybigbrain, aska19, Amory-chan, Ludifer and RosaryMustang. Thanks so much and hugs to you all:) And for those of you who didn't review you were appreciated as well just for stopping by. :)
Oh, and Amory-chan...I'm keeping my promise. I've updated Rain and now since you requested this story to be updated I can't wait to read your update that you mentioned. :)
And my last thanx goes to Ludifer for putting up with me begging her to read my ideas and give me her thoughts. I appreciate you lots, girlie! Hugs to ya! Btw, I'm glad you liked the story I wrote for ya:)
Disclaimer: Hellsing and characters don't belong to me. Also, I'm making no financial gain from the penning of this fictitious story. Standard warning for language, violence and adult situations apply.
Why I Said Yes
Chapter 4: Changes
The night opened forth, humid, heavy and smelling like the rain that suddenly poured down; then ceased. Jagged forks of lightning danced across the sky accentuating the haunting, shadowed landscape. The only sound emitted on the small breeze, suckling, guzzling noises indicative of something feeding. Someone or something was hungry, evident in the greedy licking and sucking sounds coming from the pair underneath a gigantic oak tree.
The moon's harsh light illuminated a female figure crouched over a dying man, limbs twitching as he succumbed to death's final throes. Mouth agape as a pleasure sweeter than no other washed over him; taking him on a wave of killer seduction, his body cooling, shutting down, the final processes eliminated, death's precipice had arrived.
He died quickly. Muscles spasming. Body wrenching to free himself; only to fail in the end. Warm, rich blood pulsing through his veins flowed into the creature who held him captive in a steel grip. The look on his face wasn't one of terror, but one of ecstasy. It appeared that despite having his throat torn open, the young man died happy, his face frozen forever in an expression of bliss- and acceptance.
The last of the blood ran fluidly down the woman's throat. Suddenly alarm spread over her face, red eyes wide in shock. "What have I done?" Eyes catching small spatters of red along her hands and uniform, panic ensued within. "How could I have done this", she cried. "This isn't me!" Dropping to her knees, falling prostrate along the ground, she wept, her heart breaking over the sin which would lead to her demise.
She'd sworn never to take blood from an unwilling or unmarked source. And tonight she'd not only broken it, but obliterated everything she'd worked hard for: acceptance, friends, and a place to call home. Squeezing her eyes shut she attempted to recall the night's events leading up to her attacking an innocent. Someone who'd never go home again. A man who no longer had a home. He had nothing because he was dead.
Gone. Just like that. An innocent who'd never asked nor deserved the actions she'd indulged in, giving creedence to what a certain cold heiress believed about all vampires. They were killers whom you could never trust. Killers who followed only instinct, never truly caring for the humans around them.
Images swirled in her frantic mind. Scenes upon scenes superimposed themselves, playing as if on an inner screen displaying her most past, her most recent, memories. Halo shapes danced around the edges of these visions deliberately keeping her from witnessing and recovering the information telling her why she'd snapped, committing such a horrible murder.
"No", she whispered as a familiar image swam before her. Putting her small fingertips against her cold, trembling lips she remembered.
The brunette from the other night when those damned freaks attacked her, he'd not only been there but he'd messed with her mind. She was sure of it. Had he done something to her? To her memories? Had he somehow forced her to carry out such an evil deed?
Feeling lost Seras wandered aimlessly, thoughts as chaotic as the creatures stumbling in the dark to escape her path. They sensed her troubling emotions, fire and ice, simmering volcano, and raging storm. They felt it all and scurried to get away, hurrying away from the violent emotional currents streaming from her mind, manifesting into and feeding the storm above her conflicted head.
"I have to leave. It will only be a matter of time before Integra finds out what I've done and orders my death. But will Alucard submit to her order?" Angrily snorting, "Of course he will. Why wouldn't he? She's the master, he the servant, and once again...I'm no one. There's no way", she sighed, breath expelling heavily from lungs that longed ceased their function, "he'll disobey her and save me. Not that I blame him. Maybe after tonight I deserve death."
"You do not deserve death for something you enjoyed. Nor should you punish yourself for what you needed. You're too weak. I feel your hunger stabbing at me, constantly surrounding me. It frustrates me, angers me that you refuse to accept sustenance from those who'd offer it freely. Mainly me."
His last thought pierced her emotions, tears welled though she refused to let them out. He would censor her over her feeding habits. He always had and he always will. That much will never change.
"Come home, Seras. We've much to discuss."
His words, an imperious command, heavy with compulsion, offered no argument; allowed no room for interpretation or denial.
Sadly, she turned from him, the contact between them, knowing she couldn't return to Hellsing, to him. All because one woman. Integra Hellsing. Cold, harsh steel in the middle of any given situation. A woman who took shit from no one, even Alucard.
Feeling her master probing her mind, Seras pictured a large, heavy, metal door at the beginning of her mind. Slamming it shut, she effectively ousted him from her private thoughts; immediately feeling his displeasure at her doing so she whispered her apologies to the wind, knowing he could hear every word.
Continuing to walk in darkness, shadows reached out to envelop her petite body. Steadily blowing currents whipped back her hair, tore at her clothes. Lightning flowed all around her, yet she was unafraid. Beads of water began to pelt her, their hard, cool moisture stinging her skin, but she felt no pain. Not from the rain. Rain, usually welcomed by her, but not tonight as this couldn't wash away her sin. One of the commands, sins, given by Integra which she'd blatantly ignored. Tonight nothing could wash, or purge, her mind or soul or relieve it from such a heavy burden.
Black confines swallowed her whole as she took to the air in the hopes of finding something to lighten her soul, darkened by this evening's deed. Her pain...grave indeed. For tonight she'd begun the final, irrevocable steps to losing that which she considered her greatest attribute- her humanity. Or what was left of it.
Whips of wind blew across her face. The moon broke out from behind its hiding place between two dark clouds highlighting the bloody streaks flowing down her pale skin. Where can I go, she wondered. Lost. That's how I feel. Yes, lost.
Consumed, she flew onwards into the night. Lost.
"Alucard, are you listening to me?" A sharp, female voice reprimanded him, her voice obviously irritated. Taking a short draw from the small, cylindrical cigar, blue eyes narrowed, her expression clearly displeased.
"Not really", he replied. His tone indicated that the vampire's attention was engaged elsewhere.
Alucard's tall, lean form stretched out in one of the tall high-backed chairs usually reserved for special guests, but tonight he'd made himself at home. Trademark orange glasses sat perched atop his nose, crimson eyes barely viewable over the top of the rims.
Something was happening, distracting him, angering him; keeping him from concentrating on his mission brief. Integra was willing to bet it was a certain blond getting her ass in trouble again. It never failed! The heiress slammed her fist against the massive mahogany desk, "Alucard! I demand you pay attention. I don't care what that fledgling of yours has gotten herself into she's going to have to work it out on her own! You can't keep running after her and cleaning up her messes! She's a vampire, not a child, and she damn well needs to start acting like it!"
The vampire had opened his mouth to speak only Walter's voice interrupted.
"Integra, we have a problem."
The butler and former Hellsing operative appeared quite nervous and unsure. His hands kept straightening his black tie, adjusting its position at the neck, ensuring the knot was precisely where it should be. The older gentleman waited on Integra to give him permission to speak.
"What is it, Walter? It can't be that bad, for the love of God!" She wasn't about to admit it but the sight of Walter in this condition was almost laughable. He'd always been so together, neat and most of all prepared. Now he seemed so out of place and out of rhythm.
Alucard held his breath hoping that the retired Angel of Death wouldn't be bringing news of Seras' actions. It wouldn't bode well for his fledgling at all. Breaking off his link with her, he listened as Walter began.
"It seems that Seras has turned renegade. She willfully attacked a young, mortal man moments ago and our intel has it that she's gone beserk, attacking several humans, since then. From what I've been able to gather from Pip and the Geese...she's not the same Seras as we know her. It's possible she is being controlled by someone other than Alucard."
At the mention of his name, a dark eyebrow lifted in response to the insinuation. "No one would dare", he growled.
"Oh, please, Alucard. You're not the only vampire in this country! You know full well that there've been several vampires in the past who've done everything they could to exact revenge on you!" Her frigid eyes slid to Walter and returned to the No Life King who stood to his feet.
Fury burning in his eyes, body tight with tension, he barked, "I must go, Integra."
Nodding in agreement, she said, "Bring her back, alive, Alucard. There's more than meets the eye to this. I just have that feeling."
Without further speech, the dark, mysterious vampire faded from sight; leaving Integra and Walter to glance at each other in confusion.
A dark form urged the blond to continue her feeding frenzy, "Come on, Seras. You need more." The soft, powerful voice compelled her with a fierceness almost equal to her master. "Doesn't the blood revive you as nothing else? The way it slides down your throat, warm and fluid, does it not call to you?"
Seras, hair askew, blood covering her mouth, neck and hands, sat hunched over on a slab of concrete. Staring at the mass of broken bodies, blood streaming from each one, torn apart, victims mindlessly murdered. Crimson tears fell from her eyes, streaming down pale skin, splattering on the pavement beneath her feet.
"Leave me alone", she muttered. "Go away!"
The voice laughed as her pleas grew in momentum, their volume increasing with every chanted phrase. Strolling up to the fallen angel, he hunkered down besider her, his thumbs wiping away her tears as he said, "This is what you're meant for...an instrument of death. Come with me, Seras. Everything will be so much more than you dreamed. You won't have that bitch of a Hellsing breathing down your neck, nor will you have that monstrosity, Alucard hovering; always pointing out your mistakes and how you're less of what you should be."
She'd quietly sobbed until he insulted her master. That was her final straw. Anger consumed her as he threated to obliterate her master; leaving her free to do as she wished. Reacting before her brain could think Seras shoved the vampire away from her; knocking him on his ass. Incensed, the discord-stricken Seras rose to her feet, eyes burning as twin coals of red-hot fury.
"Don't. You. Ever. Threaten. Him." She warned the vampire, who laughed at her seething verbalization. Abruptly reaching down, grabbing him by the lapel of his black leather jacket she hissed, "You're not fit to mention his name! Nor or you fit to think about him, talk about him or come near him, you low-classed, filthy, trash bastard!"
"Now we're getting somewhere, Seras. Let it out! Your hate, your anger, your fears...give them to me and we'll be as one." He calmly looked the fanged lioness in the eye, calmly stating, "I know you've been wanting to know how I am, and so I'll tell you."
She dropped her guard momentarily as he told her his name was Isaac. No last name given, just Isaac. He proceeded to give her the details she wanted and with each one her fury increased. Especially as she thought about this cockroach attempting to exist in the same vicinity as her master.
Time passed and he gave her an ultimatum. Join him or join her soon to be dead master. In the blink of eye she answered in the negative, telling him instantly to go to hell. To which he replied he loved a woman with fire and spirit.
Suddenly, he flew at her and the fight was on. Rapid blows, kicks, spins, flips and other qualities equal to a limber gymnast were put to display. Claws raked against clothes and flesh leaving bloody trails spilling in their wake.
Thunder cracked overhead as lightning crackled above them, nature absorbing the negative emotions and energy. The wind kicked up huffing stoutly in protest as the couple dueled, their fight...a fight to the death. Creatures began to gather observing the skirmish. Wolves and bats sat watching silently, each one an observer, and enforcer to the old rules.
Finally, they two vampires, worn out from their battle staggered away from the other and collapsed to the concrete. Isaac, confused about her dedication to a master who ignored her and treated her like hell asked only one question.
"Why? Why, Seras? Why did you say yes?"
There it was...the proverbial question she'd been slapped with all along. Now, here it was again. "Why did I say yes to what? And why do you want to know?" A cold, hard glint in her eye, muscles tensed, she was prepared to leap back into action should the need arise. But first she had to be certain he was asking the question that she had posed to herself, regarding Alucard and her subsequent turning, a short time ago.
"You agreed to go with Alucard. Why? What made you say yes?" His dark, fathomless eyes pierced her reddened ones. "It can't be for power since you don't seem to want it. You don't strive for it. I, on the other hand," he gestured at himself, "live for it. I continue my existence only to gain more and more power everyday. And I don't care who I have to hurt to get it. That's what makes your master and I both monsters. We'll do whatever it takes to get us what we want."
"You're wrong," she protested violently. "My master is nothing like you and should you ever meet him you better pray to God he either lets you live or kills you quickly. He'd tear you to shreds before you could blink. My master could destroy you with a mere thought. You're nothing to him but dog food!" She remembered as her master had told her what he'd said to Luke Valentine before his hell hound feasted on his flesh, blood and bones...he'd told him that he was nothing but dog food for his hound before allowing the creature to devour the weak, powerless freak.
A voice penetrated her defensive, verbal ferocity.
"Don't scare him off before I get there, Seras, and ruin my fun! He sounds like an interesting kill to me. Maybe for once I'll get to play with a vampire who truly has some skill. Keep him talking", Alucard ordered.
Recalling the reasons she agreed to follow Alucard into the night, she started, "I found him intriguing. He saved me from a freak vampire one night. Dark, dangerous, mysterious, he was the epitome of a shadowed savior. Although he killed me in order to accomplish his goal...it mattered not. He saw I wasn't ready to die. He knew I wasn't ready. So he extended the offer that few will ever receive."
Her eyes widened as she recounted that strange night. "He killed the priest and then he turned me. It was my choice, my free will. Not many get that chance, so I figured it'd be best to take my chances with him."
A ghost of a smile broke out on her translucent face, illuminated by the moon's soft glow before it tucked behind some black clouds as the storm's vortex increased. That could mean only one thing...her master, Alucard, was near.
Shifting his weight, Isaac watched her as she told her story. He'd found it hard to digest that any female would willing attach herself to such an arrogant, cold, killing machine for eternity. "How did you die?" He spoke bluntly.
"Alucard shot me. To get to the priest he had to go through me. In the literal sense, of course. But as I lay dying, my blood escaping from the wound, he gave me my first and last mortal kiss. The kiss of death. And over the time I've spent with him my feelings have only increased. I felt such attraction to him that night that I can't explain it, and I won't explain it."
Taking up her defensive stance she coldly informed him, "Now, it's time we finished this!"
"I agree."
Thrown into a flurry of blurs and motions, the two vampires fought ferociously, fangs glinting under the light from the spiked, forked flashes of lightning, claws slashing at each other's throats in time with the rolling thunder.
Flipping backwards, Seras felt something well deep inside, a wrenching, a tearing. Suddenly, a shadow burst forth from her body and attacked Isaac. Blackness enveloped him, ripping him to bits and sending muscle, bone and tissue flying into the air before turning into the typical gray ash.
The storm immediately responded to Seras' will and calmed into a tranquil, moonlit night. Disbelievingly she stared at the spot where her opponent had stood. "What just happened? What the hell did I just do?"
"Well done, Seras", her master admitted.
His voice a low, dark timbre always made her think of sex and chocolate. Seras, get your mind out of the gutter, she admonished. She gave a squeak when he replied in her mind, 'Oh, but I like your mind where it is.' His voice teased at the corners of her mind.
Pulling her close he said, "Time to go back to Hellsing, Seras. You've much to answer for." Staring into her pleading eyes he stated calmly, "Don't worry. We'll get this worked through. And if it makes any difference to you...Integra never believed you'd done these things of your own free will."
Seras said nothing. Too much occupied her thoughts. Mainly, she pondered what had happened at the end of her and Isaac's battle. Where had those shadows come from? And why had they suddenly attacked?
"You'll receive your answers once we've returned and everything's settled", Alucard said. "Now, it's time to go."
Holding her firmly, Alucard opened a portal, it's confines collapsing in after their entrance and they stepped out into Integra's office. Time for explanations and recriminations.
Integra glanced up to see her servant holding firmly to his fledgling, questions broiling in both their eyes. She cleared her throat and announced, "Let's begin."
A/N: That's it for this chapter guys...I've decided that the next chap will be the last for this story. Next time: Loose Ends...
