I didn't remember much of the conversation after that. Selphie left to let me get some rest, so I plopped down on my bed and resumed reading an old novel I'd already read at least several hundred times, but I never did care. I enjoyed it every single time.

I must've fell asleep, because by the time I came to, it was dark. I felt more rested now, and it still wasn't quite my bedtime so, still wearing my jeans and Chocobo Farm shirt, I strapped on my gauntlets and headed out for the training grounds. After all, one victory was no excuse to start getting rusty.

But still, I thought my triumph over the T-Rexaur was sheer fluke. I wanted to save James over everything. It must've been some kind of adrenaline thing. I decided that taking on one of those babies again would be a mistake, so I stuck to my bite bugs and Grats.

Every once and again I would spy some of the older students coming and going through the place, but I didn't think much of it until a certain couple passed me and I realized that they were unarmed. 'What in the world would people be doing in the training ground without any weapons?' I thought.

I decided to find out. I pulled off my gauntlets and hid them behind a rock and some bushes so they wouldn't be found. I didn't want to look conspicuous, after all. And when another male student entered without a weapon to be seen and kept going deep into the brush, I followed behind, just enough so as he didn't suspect anything. He stopped all of a sudden and I ducked into a bush. He looked around, and maneuvered around a few broken trees into a nearby entrance. I waited a moment, then entered myself.

It was a place hidden in the depths of the Training Ground, and couples were all over the place, talking and snuggling. Some were even making out, not at all caring about who might be watching. 'It's a secret rendezvous!' I thought, smiling inwardly. 'I never would've guessed Balamb Garden to have a place like this!'

Though my curiosity was killing me to see if I knew anyone among the other students, or if any cute guys were there alone, I left. After seeing so many couples together I began to feel depressed over Squall and Seifer again, so I gathered my gauntlets from their hiding place and headed for The Quad.

I was really surprised when I arrived to see Squall sitting on the bench. Jeez, did the guy ever sleep? He looked up at me momentarily, making it too late for me to run away, and then looked at the floor again like he had been doing.

Against my better judgment to turn around and stomp away, I walked over casually to the bench and sat down. He didn't move. "Hi Squall," I managed to weakly say. "How come you're not in bed?"

"Can't sleep," he mumbled back so it was barely audible.

"I see," I replied, not being able to think of anything else to say. We sat there in silence for a few agonizing moments before I blurted, "Please Squall, I have to know, what exactly do I mean to you? You act like you really care, but don't you think you're coming on a little too strong? What...what is it you're trying to prove??"

He was purposely looking away from me. "I don't want to see you get hurt," he replied. "Seifer's bad news. He always has been, and he always will be."

"How do you know that??" I cried. "You don't know him!"

"I know him better than I hope you'll ever have to!!" he yelled, quickly turning to glare at me. His face was one of anger and hate, that same fire in his eyes that I had seen the day when we had first ventured out to the fire cave together. For the first time, I was actually scared of him.

"Squall, I...I do appreciate the attempt to protect me," I said, my voice quivering on the brink of tears, "but...I don't need your protection. Rinoa does. She's with you, and being a sorceress and all, she couldn't have a better bodyguard and confidante. Just tell me...tell me that you don't care for me so I can hurry and get on with my life."

Squall looked away. "I can't do that," he said. "I've been trying to tell myself that I don't. I can't sleep because it upsets me so much. I care for you a lot, and I don't know why. I barely know you, but somehow I feel like I'm going to have to look after you."

"Please, Squall...don't..." I begged, my eyes beginning to overflow. I put my face in my hands and began to sob with all that had happened in the last few days. It was a welcome comfort when Squall put his arms around me and let me cry on his shoulder. A second later I realized what I was doing.

"No!!" I yelled, pushing him away and leaping off the bench. "I can't! You can't tell me how to conduct my life! You can't tell me what to do! Squall, please, just LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" And with those words, I picked up my gauntlets and dashed out of The Quad, back to the dorms.

I closed the door and leaned with my back against it. I slowly slid down, and pulled my knees to my chest. I sobbed loudly, more sorrowfully than I had ever done before. I cared for Squall too, but it just couldn't happen. If he wouldn't stay away on his own, then Seifer would make sure that he did. After a long while, I got up and went into my room. I fell onto my bed, and cried myself to sleep.

The next day, I got out of bed and dressed in my new blue school uniform. I finally looked like one of the crowd, and was able to keep my calm as I walked to the elevator to get to Cid's office and retrieve my new schedule. However, inside, I was completely torn apart. This was the best way, I was sure of it. Squall would definitely back off if I was with Seifer. And Seifer liked me too, so maybe I could try and forget what I felt for Squall. I'd be myself again, eventually.

"Good morning Headmaster Cid," I said a little too dully as I stood in front of his desk. I meant to sound a little more chipper than I did, but there wasn't a lot I could do. I just felt so dead inside after last night.

"Get enough sleep last night, Sierra?" he asked as he gazed up at me with a concerned look on his face.

"Haven't been adjusting well to the beds here," I replied. In actual fact, last night I had been waking up on the hour to nightmares that I couldn't remember for the life of me. I would be drenched in sweat and fresh tears streaked my face, and when I finally did get back to sleep, I'd only wake up once again to the same thing.

"Well, you'll get used to it eventually," Cid said, scanning over a sheet of paper. He then passed it over the desk and handed it to me. "Here you are, as promised."

"Thank you sir," I said, looking it over myself. A timetable of room numbers and last names, which I presumed were the professors. "Will there be any changes to my schedule before graduation?"

"Just the one with your field trip to Esthar," Cid said, scribbling on another sheet of paper. "Squall told me about it yesterday morning after you had left for your mission. By the way, the date for departure has been pushed behind to two days from now, so I suggest that you pack a small bag soon." He smiled at me. "I think you'll like Esthar, it's quite a sight."

"I'll bet," I breathed as I folded the paper and shoved it into my pocket.

"You are dismissed," Cid said, not catching on at all to my utter displeasure. "Good luck with your first day of classes."

"Thank you," I called as I walked out the open door. I heaved a sigh. Great. Now I had to go to Esthar and endure this heartache constantly. It would be pretty hard not to think about it if Squall was always around. With these thoughts on my mind, I started for class. I was on my way to my first one when Seifer stopped me in the hall.

"Hey Sierra, I wanted to know if I could talk to you for a minute," he said shyly.

I smiled. His innocence was almost endearing. "Sure. What's up?"

"Well, first of all I wanted to apologize for yesterday," he said, a hand behind his head as he kicked the floor with the toe of his boot. "Squall and me, we don't get along very well."

"It's ok," I replied, trying to be casual. "It's not really any of my business, is it?"

"Well...I dunno, maybe," he said, a little confused. "But if it's ok, I wanted to ask you...um...you wanna get together sometime? You know, on a date?"

"Sure," I said. This was great, now I didn't have to muster up the courage to ask him. "Um...hey, do you know about that secret place in the Training Grounds? You know, where students go and...uhm...yeah?"

He chuckled. "Yeah, I do."

"Well, meet me there at 8:30, alright?" I said. "Sound like a plan?"

"Sure does," he replied, sounding excited. "I'll see you then, ok?"

"Yeah, I gotta get to my first class." I grinned. "See you tonight." He grinned back and continued down the hallway.

Classes were interesting enough with the high-tech computers used basically for...well, everything, let alone the lessons that were taught there. Junctioning was third period, right before lunch, and a little hard to get used to. But the professor was kind enough to make an example of me with my new Ifrit, and by lunchtime, I had another GF, Queazecotl. It was hard to believe, but I was actually beginning to understand what I was supposed to learn here.

At lunch, I wasn't in the mood to face anybody, so I just took my food to The Quad, which consisted of a slice of pepperoni pizza, a can of lime soda, a package of twinkies and a shiny red apple.

I flew through my last two classes for the day with nothing else on my mind but Seifer and our date, and I hurried to my dorm to change. I decided that I would wear the same thing I wore when I first went after Ifrit, wearing a pair of black pants with two red, parallel stripes up the side of each pant leg instead of the red ones that were now torn to shreds. It looked nice and it matched, which was all that really mattered to me. With a final glance in the mirror, I fiddled my glasses on my nose, gave my hair a final flick with a brush and headed out for the secret spot in the Training Grounds.

I felt a little nervous as I retraced my steps from the night before. What would Seifer be like now that we spent some time alone? Would he be a gentleman and try to take things slow, or would he be so forward as to do anything short of raping me? Secretly I was kind of hoping for the latter of the two, and I smacked myself in the forehead for thinking such things. It was just a date, after all. He probably just wanted to spend some time with me, nothing more.

I arrived and scanned the scene of lovers before me, looking for him. I saw him over in the corner, right knee propped up, his right arm resting on it. He looked really attractive sitting like that, and his smile only added to the effect. I blushed, and went over and sat down next to him.

"You're late," he said, poking me in the nose.

"Sorry, I kind of lost my way," I replied sheepishly. "I've only been here once, and I had to follow someone without them knowing to get here."

"Stalking boys now, are we?" he teased. I blushed again, and he laughed at me.

"No, nothing like that," I replied, now completely embarrassed. "I was just doing some late night training and I wondered why all these people were coming and going here without any weapons."

"Sure, sure," he replied. He suddenly turned solemn. "You're really serious about becoming a SeeD, huh?"

"Of course," I said, gazing up at the starry sky. It was really clear, without a cloud in sight. "I don't think there's anything I could possibly want more."

"Why?" Seifer asked, staring at the stars as well.

"What?" I replied, turning my head to look him in the face.

"It's a simple question," he said, looking at me as well. "Why do you want to become a SeeD so badly? Why do you have this insatiable thirst to prove yourself?"

"I...I don't know," I said thoughtfully, looking at my feet. They moved as I struggled to think up a reply, back and forth, back and forth..."I've always been that way, whether it has to do with becoming a SeeD or not."

"I also want to prove myself," Seifer said, staring off into the sky again. "No one understands me. They don't know how badly I want to become a SeeD, how badly I want to regain their trust in me, how badly I want to finally graduate." He looked down at the floor sadly.

"I understand you," I said, trying to look him in the face. "At least, I like to think so."

He turned towards me again and our eyes met. They were warm, inviting. "More than anyone else ever has," he replied. He was slowly drawing closer and closer.

"I...I'm glad..." I said, losing my base as I gazed into his eyes. Then, all of a sudden, I closed my eyes and our lips met. He kissed me slowly, softly. It seemed to last a sweet eternity before we finally broke apart. He smiled and cupped my face in his hand.

"I've never known what it felt like to be understood," he said, staring into my eyes again. "It felt nice."

We both chuckled, and I looked away, smiling. "Yeah, it did," I agreed.

We talked a little more, about trivial things like school and Balamb's next destination. It was getting late, and we were still talking as Seifer walked me back to my dorm.

"This is where I leave you now," I said as we stopped in front of my door. "We've got school in the morning."

"Will you come out to play again tomorrow night?" Seifer asked hopefully.

"I wouldn't dream of doing anything else," I replied, smiling broadly.

"Same time, same channel?" he asked, grinning.

"Sure," I said, hugging him. "But perhaps you'd like to come pick me up?"

"Alright," he said. He poked me gently in the nose. "Tomorrow night, then." With that, he went on his way.

I went into my dorm and locked the door. I couldn't stop smiling as I got ready for bed. Maybe this whole mess would turn out all right after all. I slipped under the covers and immediately fell asleep.

The next day, I went to class as planned, and walked out of Junctioning before lunch with a broad smile on my face. I was actually learning something! Junctioning different GFs gave different abilities, but first they had to learn them. I joined the line in the cafeteria, and wondered how no one had seen me the day previous. I scanned around for Selphie and the others, thinking that I could probably take eating with them today. I spied them at their usual table.

I selected my food, today, a turkey sandwich, orange juice, a chocolate pudding cup and another apple, and made my way over to them. I was relieved yet somewhat curious as to why Squall wasn't there.

"Sierra!!" Selphie cried and raced over to me, nearly knocking me over with her hug. She let go. "Sorry, don't want you dropping your lunch. Where were you yesterday? I was worried when you didn't show up for lunch, and you didn't answer when I came to knock for you last night. What's up?"

I sat down to the table and started munching on half of my sandwich. "Well, I ate in The Quad yesterday," I began through chewing, "and I went out to the Training Grounds last night for a little more practice." Hey, it didn't have to be a complete lie, just a half truth.

"Working hard, as usual," Quistis chimed in. "I've been talking with some of the other professors, they say she's catching on really quickly."

I blushed. "Stop it, you're embarrassing me," I replied, smiling. "I just really enjoy what's taught here, it's a far cry from the normal subjects I'm used to."

"Well, don't cry too much when we tear you away from it at 6:00 tomorrow morning," Zell told me as he ogled the pudding on my tray. I pushed it away from him so he couldn't grab it.

"Yeah, Esthar," I said, trying to fake enthusiasm. "I can't wait to go!"

"Me either," Selphie said, smiling. "Then Rinoa can get rid of her sorceress powers for good."

I had almost forgotten that was the whole reason for going to Esthar in the first place. I looked over to Rinoa who hadn't said a word up to this point. She looked somewhat withdrawn, like she was in her own little world. A frown disgraced her pretty features, and she looked like she was about to cry.

"Hey Rinoa?" Irvine said, waving a hand in front of her face. She snapped out of her trance. "You ok?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine," she said, trying to recover something that resembled a smile. "Just lost in thought, that's all."

"You don't think you'll miss your powers, do you?" Quistis inquired. "After all, you are prohibited to deliberately use them unless under dire emergency conditions."

"I know," she said, the half smile disappearing. "I...I don't think I'll miss them. I just feel a bit nervous about putting myself completely in someone else's hands. It makes me anxious."

"Don't worry, I'm sure that Dr. Kurai knows exactly what she's doing," Zell said, trying to cheer her up.

"Of course she does!" Selphie cried as she jumped out of her seat and gave Rinoa a hug. "Her powers will be contained forever and she'll be able to lead a normal life like before! Right, Rinoa?"

"Y-yeah," she said, trying that half smile again. "I...I can't wait."

But I knew better. Rinoa was nervous about something more than just this procedure. She was doing just as much a good job at hiding it than I was. I couldn't believe no one else saw through the both of us. Perhaps it was because we both had some amount of depression to hide. If Squall were here, he probably would notice, and say something about it. That could be bad.

"Hey, where's Squall?" I ventured to ask. "Doesn't he believe in lunch anymore?"

"He's making final preparations on the Ragnarok," Selphie said maniacally, rubbing her hands together. "My baby, she will fly again!"

"Uh...what is she talking about??" I whispered to Irvine, leaning toward him.

He laughed. "Our stronger, faster, better space-slash-airship," he whispered back. "Selphie here is her unofficial pilot."

"She's got a license, right?" I said nervously.

"Selphie knows what she's doing," he said, looking up at her. "Right baby?"

"Oh, dear god..." I said, putting my forehead in my hand.

While everyone else engaged in a conversation that I didn't understand, something about how the white SeeDs were doing, whatever they were, I scribbled a note to Rinoa on my napkin. Basically, it read:

Rinoa,

Need to talk. Meet me in my dorm after classes. Come alone.

Sierra

It seemed to serve its purpose, so when I had finished eating, I stood up to leave, saying that I wanted to get to class early, and slipped it to her as I walked by. I stayed behind long enough to make sure she read it, and then I went straight for my next class, though I was 10 minutes early.

After school was over, I rushed to my dorm to change out of my uniform and into my jeans and t-shirt again. I was starting to despise those student uniforms. They were god awful uncomfortable. I went into the living room and sat on the couch as I waited for that knock at the door.

Finally, after another 15 minutes, Rinoa came to call. I opened the door for her, and she stood there with a really nervous look on her face. She was all jumpy, like she expected me to strangle her as soon as I had her inside and closed the door.

"You...wanted to talk to me?" she asked meekly.

"Yeah," I replied. "Come on in."

She did as was told and joined me on the couch. She looked really anxious and not at all herself. "You seemed really off at lunch today," I started. "And I could tell that it wasn't just the procedure of getting your powers removed that was making you nervous."

"Sierra, I'd really like to get out of here..." she said.

"Tell me what's on your mind," I said, concerned. "I don't like seeing you so sad Rinoa, it's not becoming of you."

She sighed, then took a deep breath. "Can I ask you something?" she said.

Uh-oh. Was this about Squall? "Sure," I replied. "Anything."

"Well..." she hesitated. "Two things, really. First...please...I know it sounds odd but...please, against all odds, stay away form Seifer."

"What? Why?" I asked. I was really confused now. Stay away from SEIFER??

"Yes, please, just trust me on this," she said. "I know you like him, but it's dangerous for you to be with him now. And the other...it's a bit more complicated...and I can't really tell you much about it..."

"What is it?" I asked. I was really worried now. This seemed more serious than I had first realized.

"If...if something happened to me before the procedure in Esthar...something critical to my life...you know..." She was really struggling to get this out. "Would you...would you be the one to take my powers??" She looked up at me then. Her eyes were again frightened and glassy, like she was going to cry.

"But why would I have to do that??" I exclaimed.

"Please, just promise me that you'd do that for me!!" she cried, her eyes overflowing and tears spilling down her cheeks. "Above all else, those two things!"
"But Seifer...I can't...and I thought you were going to tell me to stay away from Squall..." I tried to make sense of what she was saying.

"Oh no, if anything, try to stay as close to Squall as possible!!" she yelled, holding me by the shoulders. "Please, he'll...I can't say anymore..." she turned away, wiping her eyes.

"Rinoa, what are you trying to say??" I cried. "You're not going to kill yourself, are you??"

"No, of course not...I love life...I'd never be able to do such a thing," she sniffed. "But if anything were to happen...I'd like it to be you..."

I put my arm around her shoulder and she snuggled up to me and cried. I had no idea what all this meant. It was really scary, and if something was going to happen to Rinoa tomorrow before she got her powers taken away, then I'd be there for her, no matter what it could be.

"I...I gotta go," she stammered through sobs, and she stood to leave.

"Well...alright, but Rinoa...please tell me that you'll be ok," I replied as I saw her to the door.

"I...I'll be a-alright," she said. "Thanks Sierra. Y-you...you promise, right?"

I sighed. "I wish I knew why cuz I really like Seifer and it's such an odd request...but yes, I promise. I'm seeing Seifer tonight, but...I could call off seeing him ever again after tonight. If you think he's that hazardous..."

"I want you to be safe," Rinoa said, holding my hands in hers. "Something's going to happen, Sierra, and I when it does I want you to keep your distance from him. It's not going to be easy, or pretty, but I beg of you, keep away from him."

"Ok," I said. Of course it wasn't going to be easy. I was starting to fall for him, and here Rinoa was, telling me it wasn't safe. "Go get some rest, you'll feel better."
"I will, thanks," she said as she walked off down the hall.

"See you tomorrow morning!" I called after her as she disappeared out of sight. She didn't make any motion to say that she had heard me.

I sat down on the couch to think about what Rinoa had just asked of me. Number one: Stay away from Seifer. I had no idea how Seifer could be dangerous, he was so sweet when he was with me. And number two: If anything were to happen to her, be the one to relieve her of her sorceress powers. This all wasn't just hypothetical. I knew that Rinoa could tell that something was soon going to endanger her life, in Esthar.

Another knock at the door interrupted my thoughts. (Author's note: Yes, there is a lot of knocking at my dorm in this fic. Perhaps I should consider installing a doorbell?? Natch.) I knew who it was, and I was dreading the night ahead of me.

I stood up and opened the door, and just as I had dreaded, it was Seifer.

"Hey there," he greeted me. "Are you ready yet?"

"Yeah, you come in for a second? I've got to talk to you," I replied. I knew I was coming off as nervous, but I couldn't hide it.

"Sure," he said as he came in and plopped onto the couch. "What's up?"

"Well..." I said as I joined him. "Seifer, I...I really like you..."

"Wait a minute," Seifer said suddenly, "you're breaking up with me, aren't you?"

"Seifer, I'm sorry...there's something wrong and I don't know what it is but-"

"No, it's ok, I understand," he said as he stood to leave. "But just take a good look at what you're missing." He pointed a thumb at his face. "Guess I'll see you around."

"Seifer, wait, it's nothing like that..." I pleaded as he turned the doorknob.

"It's alright, you don't have to say it," he said, trying to hold in his anger. "Sometimes the truth hurts more than lies." And with that, he slammed the door behind him.

"Seifer...I'm sorry..." I whispered. I liked him so much. Was I really supposed to just give up on him like that? Why did Rinoa have to say that just now of all times? Why couldn't she have mentioned something before I started falling for him?

My mind was such a blank. Without another thought to the situation, I went to bed.