Yup, another short one. Happy reading! Oh and in this is where a stole a little sumpin sumpin from Shrek…and I'll be using it a couple times…so yeah. Once again I don't own Shrek or anything. Yeah, right. Lol. .

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Episode Four: The Plan Executed...Almost

We see our heroes in the bowels of the beast, Monstro.

Anti-Kairi is sitting with her arms around her knees, bored to death. "Ugh," she groans. "How long have we been in this stupid whale now?"

Fred stops his pacing for a second. "Not much longer than when you asked thirty seconds ago…about a month."

"Hey!" anti-Kairi interrupts suddenly, standing up. "Someone's coming!"

Guess who! It's Riku! And he's holding Pinocchio, who is now heartless.

"Riku?" anti-Kairi says. "What are you doing here? And what's that?" She points to the lifeless puppet.

Riku lays Pinocchio down and explains elaborately, "Oh, this is just some weird puppet that had a heart."

Anti-Kairi feels a bit of drool collecting in her mouth. A heart…that sounds so good right now… she thinks to herself. But I can only take Kairi's heart!

Then she speaks to Riku. "And you're here because…?"

"Oh…um…" Riku stutters, then says hastily, "Hey, have you decided yet? Sora will be here any minute."

Fred doesn't miss a thing. "Ahem…changing subject…" he mutters.

Anti-Kairi, however, notices nothing. "Hm…I guess I could help you out," she tells Riku teasingly. "Though I normally don't partake in humans' petty little jealousies."

"I'm not jealous!"

"Uh-huh. And that's why you want me to—"

Suddenly there's a noise from nearby. "What's that?" Riku turns around to see.

"Hey!" Fred yells out suddenly, looking up from his inspection of Pinocchio. "What are you doing with a heartless puppet?"

"Gotta go!" Riku says, saved by the keyblade master. He picks up the puppet and runs off in the opposite direction of the noises.

Anti-Kairi turns to Fred. "Quick! Is this a face Kairi would make?" she asks him, making an evil grin.

"If she were about to blow up the world," Fred answers. "Now about Riku—"

"Good! Now hide!"

"What? What are you doing?"

"Now!!"

Fred gives up and hides behind a rock. Anti-Kairi stands by a wall whistling casually as Sora and co. run by.

"I think I saw Riku go that way!" Sora yells, pointing with the keyblade, and off they go.

"They didn't see you," says the rock—er, Fred.

Anti-Kairi coughs loudly. "Ahem, Sora!" She runs after him, and Sora turns around, leaving the clueless lackeys to run off without him.

"Kairi?" says the spiky-haired hero.

"Sora!" Anti-Kairi says in a gratingly sweet voice, and reaches out to hug him. But Sora just stands there staring at her.

The anti gets angry. "Why aren't you hugging me you id—dorable person?"

"Your head's floating," Sora says simply.

The rock laughs. I mean, Fred.

Anti-Kairi sighs. Why does everyone say that?

"Oh, uh," she says, lost for words, "um…don't worry, Sora darling, I vowed not to eat until we were reunited! And so I've lost weight! Do you like it?"

"Nice save," the rock continues its commentary.

Sora looks at her as if for the first time. "So you turned anorexic for me?"

"Cheesy." That's Fred.

Anti-Kairi takes a deep breath. "Shore did hunny-bun! Now kiss me!" She heads in for the kill—er, kiss, but Sora holds her back, with a panicked, "Oh, no, you don't!"

"What in the world is she doing?" Fred wonders.

Anti-Kairi stops, confused. "What's wrong?"

"Why are you being so obvious?" Sora says, letting her go and giving her a good lecture. "I liked you but you're being really creepy and it's turning me off."

"Oh, burn."

The Kairi impostor darts an annoyed glance at the talking rock, thinking Oh, crap, what now? But her quick thinking saves her again.

"Um, I…I'm sorry, Sora, but when we were separated, I realized that we never know what could happen. So we need to make the most of it while we still can!"

There is a dead silence as Sora contemplates this. Meanwhile Fred wonders, "Where does she come up with this stuff?" And anti-Kairi simply bites her lip hoping it'll work.

Finally he speaks.

"That was beautiful, Kairi."

The anti is triumphant! "Thanks!

"But try not to act like my mom, okay?"

"Mom!?!" she says indignantly. "I—"

"Hey!" Fred yells out, hearing something.

"Hey!" Riku enters the scene.

"Riku!" says Sora.

"Riku!" says anti-Kairi.

"Kairi…" Riku says threateningly.

"Fred!" says Fred. Well, he has the right to say something, too!

Riku takes anti-Kairi aside and whispers angrily, "What the heck do you think you're doing?! You're not supposed to do it yet! You're just supposed to convince him!"

"When then? When do I do it?" anti-Kairi says just as angrily, not happy with being lectured at.

"When I get Kairi a heart!"

Ha, we know where her heart is already! But I'm not gonna tell you now, you jerk. Anti-Kairi stares at Riku loftily. "And just how are you going to do that?" she asked, interested in what he supposed would work.

"Kairi needs her heart a lot more than that puppet does."

Sora, by this time, is really confuzzled. He stands by awkwardly, getting a teensy bit jealous.

"Ooh, taking an innocent's life for your own selfish desires!" the fake Kairi is whispering. "Nice!"

"It's not like that," Riku protests, a little uncomfortable when hearing it put like that. "Anyway, uh…we're looking suspicious! So…" They both turn back to Sora, who is glaring at Riku.

"Riku," says Sora.

"Sora," says Riku.

"Fred!" says Fred, oblivious of the warning glance anti-Kairi throws him.

Riku nods at anti-Kairi, who catches the look and speaks. "Well, ha ha, I'll just leave you two men to get reacquainted and have all this lovey-dovey reunion-type stuff. See ya!" On her way out she whispers, "C'mon Francis!"

"It's Fred," the Shadow whispers back as he dashes out from his hiding spot, looking fearfully at the keyblade resting in Sora's hand.

Sora looks up. "Kairi? Come back!"

"Never mind, Sora," the runaways hear as they leave. "Now…"

Anti-Kairi and her lackey reach Monstro's mouth, and stop to catch a breath. Fred decides it's time for answers. "What was that all about? Why'd ya try and kiss him?"

"Ick!" the anorexic tosses her head. "You think I wanted to?" Though he is really hot… "It's just a little deal we had…now c'mon! I know how we can get out!" Off she runs.

Fred hangs back for a little bit, and shakes his head. "What am I doing with such a weirdo?"

"Fiona!"

"Fred!" the Shadow answers back, but runs after the anti.

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End of Episode Four! Hope you liked, blah blah.

And tune in next time for my personal favorite, Episode Five: Alison and Edward.

Here we will finally meet someone's significant other, "All the hotness of Sora rolled up into one big ball of evil!" Oooh ;)