Chapter 4: Where Destinies Meet

As per usual, I would like to thank all of my LOVELY reviewers and readers. I really hope you enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you think if you can! Thanks so much! :D

I do not own Kai or Shin, but Vincentio and Motome are mine :P

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oOo

Years passed. The world changed, and one by one his loved ones grew older, moved through life, and moved on.

Shinichi watched it all with lonely fascination, while he himself displayed no outward signs of change... Unless you really knew him, and knew where to look. For his eyes alone, in the kind of sad wisdom they now exuded, hinted at the time that had passed for him.

For years, he had continued to move, restlessly, from one city to the next, one country to the next, finding the constantly shifting scenery to be a distraction…it also kept reality more in-flux, so to speak. The constant movement kept him from creating attachments-to places, but most importantly, to people. For it was alone he lived, alone he moved.

Over time, he began to feel numbed, even resigned, to his situation. He knew what his body needed, and he feared what would happen if he were to deny it…and so each night he continued to take new victims.

And as the years wore on, and his time as a vampire exceeded the time he'd spent as a human, he actually found himself adapting to his new life. He would wake in the early evening, whether in a hotel amongst the cheerful nightlife of Paris, or beneath sparkling stars in the wide-open fields of Umbria, and would breathe in the miraculous sensations of life all around him. In these waking moments, before the thirst hit him, he could almost pretend he, too, was one of the living beings surrounding him. That he, too, was part of this world, and not a burden on it.

Yet every night, without fail, the familiar pangs would hit, and he would no longer hesitate before taking off to satisfy the dark urges coursing through him.

This resignation did not come easily, though. For a time, he was pained by the distinct feeling that his humanity was slipping further from him with every successive feeding, for a big part of himself, now, undeniably enjoyed the sensation, even looked forward to it with greedy anticipation.

There had been times when, unable to bear the mental burden of it all, he would force himself into seclusion, isolating himself in the countryside and denying himself what his body so desperately needed. He forced himself to resist, caring nothing for what it did to him.

But each time he tried, the pull was overwhelming, and by the second night, he would usually give in. On one occasion, however, haunted by memories of a slip when he'd ended up taking both a criminal and his victim, he'd plunged himself into this forced starvation with an indomitable vigor, pushing himself on, driven by a single-minded desire to quell his evil, immortal thirst...

By the third night…all he could see was pounding blood and darkness. He was blind to everything but the atrocities he had committed, the evil he continued to spread, but just as he yearned to leap back into the bloody, eternal cycle, his disgust over what he had done, continued to do, overwhelmed him, occupying his thoughts. Pervaying his consciousness most of all, though, was constant, brutal, deep pain.

But though part of him wished to be released from it, a bigger part of him was addicted to it, feeling it was his retribution that he should suffer so…and so he continued on another night, giving in to drain several sheep, but wrenching himself as far from humans as possible…

By this point, his body was so weakened, his mind so far gone, and his guilt so intense, that he was taken captive by dreams of seeking out whatever would bring him the most pain. And so, rather than sleeping through the day as he usually did, he forced himself to a place he hoped would cleanse him, make him suffer for what he'd done. The land he wandered to, somewhere in Iran, was scorched, and Shinichi walked unhesitatingly into it. Even with his hood up, the bright light felt like live flames dancing around his wrists, neck, back. Smiling at nothing in particular, he began to pull down his hood.

Excruciating pain hit him, began to work away immediately, destroying each cell individually. Biting back a scream, his mouth filled with blood, but he couldn't swallow it. His throat, tongue and mouth were like dry sponges, rubbing painfully against each other. Collapsing to the ground, he cried tears which dried instantly on his burning face.

The pain only worsened, and he felt himself black out.

The heat softened suddenly, drastically. He opened his eyes, but he was no longer in the desert. He was somewhere he knew, somewhere barely lingering in his memories, as if from a long-forgotten dream. Solid ground, the moon shining above, and a familiar clock tower chiming the hour. There was a quiet voice speaking to him, full of affection and humor, a voice which made his heart pound as if he were as human as anyone.

"You can't give up so easily," the voice said.

The delirious vampire spun around, but there was no one there. But he knew that voice… give up? It would be a mercy to the world if I were to give up…as it is, I'm just eating away at it, destroying it little by little. He felt those tears well up again, but this time, they didn't evaporate as they fell, but ran down, wetting his shirt with comforting coolness.

"That's what you think? That you can do only evil? Why do you punish yourself this way?"

The impassioned voice made him feel as if time were contorting, as if he were back in those long-past days of innocence. He shook his head. Of course. What else…can I do? I can't help but hurt those I'm around…

"Maybe you should stop trying so hard. Be yourself, no matter what that may be."

But that's…maybe I could but the truth is…

"The truth is?"

I'm so…alone, with my curse as my only company. How can I help but see only darkness?

"You think you're alone? Search deeper…isn't there something you can do about it? Who knows? Maybe there's someone who needs saving, Shin-chan…Don't forget."

Kai...

Shinichi awoke in the desert, and the pain was back. But somehow, he had managed to fall so his hood would cover him up again, and the sun was supplying only little licking flames over the more serious burns. He began to crawl his way out of the sun's path…that was some kind of hallucination, he thought. But suddenly, he didn't feel like dying anymore, like continuing to wallow in pain. Could he find him again? And if he could, what then? Wouldn't he just tarnish his soul-that soul he treasured above all else?

Could he really do something other than evil?

As he approached human residences again, the effect of his fast on his body was demanding that he strike. But he had learned to work with it, had grown used to this form, after all, and simply pushed forward until he made his way into a grungy little alley where a pair of men were attempting to knife each other. Silently and swiftly, Shinichi moved between them, and grabbing them both by the backs of their necks, took them one at a time.

I won't forget, Kaito. And I'll find you, someday.

Kaito's voice seemed to swim around him, acting as a shield to protect him from his violent, self-destructive tendencies, and it was from then on that he began to linger a little longer in places, to take in the sights, the smells, to appreciate the countryside. In those glorious waking moments he then discovered, when he felt almost alive, he decided to live for both of them-to experience things for both of them, until the day came when they would meet again.

It seemed an impossible fantasy, but it worked to stop him from dissecting things as much. Little by little, he submitted to his instincts and yet… he did his best to never let them totally get out of control. He hardened to his fate, and accepted what he did. And he found that when he submitted, the pain and worries and guilt would vanish completely. When he drank, the world seemed at peace.

But as he settled to drift off in the early morning twilight, once the ecstasy had worn off, horror at the lack of remorse he felt, at how easily and skillfully he had found the night's victims, of how he, when trying to choose between a murderer/pimp and a child molester, had decided, in the end, to take them both… when he realized just how comfortable he'd grown with this life, he could think of nothing but what a monster he had truly become.

But he hadn't tried to kill himself again. Consciously or unconsciously, he'd begun to search…to search for the person he had vowed to protect, yet he'd left…he'd left him…he'd backed out on his promise almost as soon as he'd made it. Because I had to protect him from myself… These conflicting thoughts would circulate in his mind as he continued to surge forward through unrelenting time.

Then, one night, years after his first vision, he'd drifted off in a soft nest he'd constructed in a hidden grove near the ocean. Letting the rolling waves comfort him with their timeless lullaby, he heard the faint sound of a melodious voice mixing with the lulling crashes. A voice which broke his heart while repairing it all in one breath.

Find me. I'm waiting for you.

The owner of the voice was nowhere to be seen, and Shinichi soon drifted off, but when he woke the next evening, he felt a new conviction. It was time to search the place he'd been avoiding. It was time to go back to where this had all begun.


oOo

Things had really changed since he'd last been here. Well, things had really changed practically everywhere, but there was no wake-up call to lost time like coming back to the home you haven't seen in 80 years. No surprise, his house was no longer where it had been…at least, the building which stood in his old yard wasn't recognizably his house. It looked more like a compact version of Agasa-hakase's house, though it was more streamlined. The whole block was lined with good-sized residences in similar styles, but different colors.

Kaito smiled a little, shaking his head and muttering about good old Japan and its dedication to fads before noticing a familiar presence which brought an insane joy to his heart. The tree he used to always use to sneak out of his window when he was little was still there. Granted, it had grown a lot, but it was still, undeniably, the same trusty tree-his sometime partner in crime, he liked to think.

Carefully, he crept his way into the backyard, and then, a smile forming on his lips (a much rarer sight on him these days), he placed a hand on a familiar knot, and as if he were shaking its hand, quietly said "Long time no see."

He had the feeling that someone was watching him, though the gaze didn't feel particularly threatening. Kaito spun around to meet the sharp eyes of a boy who looked about 12 or 13. His hair was messy, brown with a slight tint of blond, but something about those eyes…this boy looked so familiar.

"Hey there," Kaito grinned and waved at him.

The boy crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. "You do realize you're trespassing, don't you? Would you like to explain what you're doing in my yard, oniisan?"

Keeping his trusty poker-face in place, Kaito felt a slight tug on his lips. Something about the direct inquisitiveness of this kid made him feel nostalgic…and he just reminded him so much of… his eyes widened.

"Seems I've wandered into another detective. Am I mistaken?"

The boy narrowed his eyes further, but the slightly boastful look that then crept onto his features gave him away. With a smirk, he responded: "I'm still training, but I will be. After all, I'm from a family of detectives."

Kaito studied the boy before saying softly, "You don't know a Hakuba Saguru, do you?"

The boy's eyes widened, and momentarily his confident upstart detective persona wavered. He stared up at Kaito. "You know about my great-grandfather? Just who are you?"

Kaito paled a little…great-grandfather? But then, making up his mind about something, he smiled genuinely down at the boy and crouched, twisting his hand around to present him with a rose. "Kuroba Kaito, at your service."

The boy looked slightly shell-shocked, frowning as if trying to remember something, but then turned his frown to the rose. "What makes you think I'd want a damn flower?"

"Ooh, language…well, okay, what do you want, then? Let's see…" And Kaito began to shuffle through his pockets, throwing things in the air, juggling them as he went through them, paying no mind to the wide-eyes of the boy before him as he continued to search with his right hand, his left juggling ten odd objects at once…

"Y-you're just like…"

"Yes?"

"Grandma and grandpa always talked about this crazy magician who was friends with my great-grandparents…he was supposed to be totally annoying, always pulling pranks and giving out roses and juggling and stuff, but…" He paused, apparently struggling for words, but Kaito just crouched down, looking at him with uncommon sincerity.

"They were good friends."

"W-what?" The boy stared up at Kaito's serious eyes, but the magician cracked into a smile. "I'm just kidding! But I'm actually distantly related to the magician you're talking about, and I've heard stories, so I can assure you I'm not just making things up!"

The boy just nodded up at him.

"This used to be my family's house, you know," Kaito went on, looking at the surroundings bitter-sweetly. "What's your name, kid?"

"Hakuba Motome," he responded softly, gazing questioningly up at Kaito. His eyes had softened drastically.

"Hah, I like the name," Kaito laughed. "Motome means 'seeking for truth,' doesn't it? I'm sure Hakuba-kun and Aoko would have been very proud to know you."

The boy's eyes widened, but Kaito just smiled enigmatically. "Heh, said too much, huh? Well anyway, Motome-kun, it was great meeting you. Take care of yourself, okay?"

Motome watched him as he ran away, shouting out at the last second "I'm going to figure you out, you know! That's a promise, niisan!"

Kaito laughed and waved before disappearing around the corner.

"Why did I tell that kid so much?" But he smiled and shook his head. He knew the answer. Because I never got to tell them…I left without opening up, without telling them my secrets. The loneliness of this knowledge, the regret…it was just another thing which had been sitting in him for years and years… but he finally felt like he'd found some release.

How odd being back here. It was a very complex feeling, knowing that practically everyone you've ever known is long-past dead. It helped, though, that it wasn't a total stranger in his house… he smiled. His mom and Aoko must have worked something out to hold onto that land. He smiled to think that they had stayed in touch. He had worried about his mom…even though he had kept his promises and called, it was different, having this physical proof.

He felt both incredible happiness as well as unbearable loneliness at the thought that his life had moved on without him. And then, his mom and Aoko and Saguru had all…done something for him, he felt. It was as if they'd sent him some amazing time capsule, like a letter from a previous time.

Setting his face forward, he began to walk on to his next destination. He wasn't sure what he'd find there, but he was anxious nonetheless. He hadn't walked this way since Shinichi's disappearance. It had been, what? Ninety-two years? Yet his feet carried him there as naturally as if he'd continued to make the commute every day since then.

The sun had just set as he got to the Kudou mansion, and it, somehow, looked just as it had the last time he'd seen it. No new additions, yet it didn't seem to be in disrepair. Had someone intentionally kept it this way, all this time?

Kaito tried to think back, but his self-imposed isolation before he'd left Japan had, naturally, included cutting off contact with anyone who knew Shinichi even remotely intimately, and so he had no memory of anyone keeping the house until Shinichi's return… could that be it? He smiled at the thought, but shook his head. Too unlikely.

Approaching the gate, he leaned in the read the nameplate. Just as it had all those years ago, it read clearly:

Kudou

A little bubble of hope began to rise up in Kaito's chest. He tried to push it down, but failed, a smile crossing his lips. Maybe someone was home he could ask? Climbing nimbly over the gate, he took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. No one answered.

After trying a few more times, he decided to do a little spying. Grinning at the old times these stealthy actions brought back, he crawled up the side of the mansion, and making quick work of the window locks, made his way lightly into the living room. The dark room felt so familiar despite the 90-odd-year gap since he'd been here last.

He silently slipped through and noticed that things had been kept dusted. The vague tug at the corner of his mind telling him he shouldn't be wandering around a house where strangers were likely living paled in light of his conviction that this house really belonged to Shinichi. Shinichi was the only person who had the right to live here, in his eyes.

Carefully creeping through, he began to notice things which countered his assumption that someone had been living here. Everything really was the same as it had been. The furniture was all arranged in the same way, the walls were the same colors…Wandering up the stairs, he explored the old library and gasped. The pictures set around on odd bookcases were all the same. Still the same old framed pictures of the Kudou family, with a seven-year old Shinichi grinning, holding a soccer ball, and then a picture of Shinichi and Ran in Junior High…Kaito continued to scan, but yes. They were all the same. The shelved books, too.

Carefully, he peeked into the different bedrooms, but it appeared no one had been using any of the beds. Shinichi's room, too, was empty, and it looked as if the bed hadn't been used in ages. Kaito couldn't help but frown in disappointment. He had been so sure, for an instant, that Shinichi was…that he had been staying here. Laughing coldly at his own baseless hopefulness, Kaito collapsed backwards onto the bed. The bed he imagined still smelled like him, though he knew it was impossible.

He suddenly whipped around. For an instant, he had been sure that someone was watching him. Sitting up, he looked out the open window, but nothing was there. Behind him? He wandered into the hallway, dark and gloomy in this time after twilight. He shivered. There it was again! He whipped around, and for an instant-so slight he would have missed it if he'd blinked-his eyes met wide, cerulean blue.

And then they were gone. Kaito's heart absolutely flew as he raced to the window. There was no sign of him. But he was here! It couldn't have been a hallucination!

Frantically determined, Kaito crawled from the window, once again scaling the side of the house (after all, he wasn't worried about falling and getting himself killed) and began a blind search in the darkness. He knew he had no chance of finding him if he didn't want to be found, but he didn't care.

He simply couldn't sit still if he thought there were even the slightest chance of finding him. One by one, he began to check places which had once meant something to Shinichi. Teitan high school, Ran's apartment (or where each had been, the current buildings in their places were unrecognizable)…before squirming a little at the immodesty and taking off to check places they had been together. For hours, he checked old heist locations.

Are you running from me? Why, Shinichi? Don't you know how lonely I've been? How much I've missed you? Why are you…?

Panting, he stopped in front of the old clock tower which was still, thankfully, there. He smiled up at it as if it were an old friend, getting a little secret satisfaction in the part he personally had had in its still being around.

It was now quite late. The clock had just chimed for 2am, but then there was a sound which cut cleanly through the darkness: a high-pitched scream. Instinctively, Kaito raced forward to find a man holding a knife to a struggling girl's neck. Hesitating only long enough to figure how he could avoid panicking the criminal into harming the girl, Kaito dove into him, wrestling the weapon and the girl from him…but he didn't notice the man's accomplice, who hit him over the head, knocking him out.

When he came to, he was being held by his neck over the long drop from the clock face to the ground below. Kaito groaned. The last time I did this, I at least had my hang-glider…not like it'll kill me, but I'd prefer not to feel the pain of my bones pulling themselves together. He shuddered at the thought.

"Any last requests?" The smirking man said confidently.

"Hmmm…kind of you to suggest it. How about if you look that way for a second?" Kaito pointed behind the man who just rolled his eyes.

"Kid, I'm not going to fall for that," he began, but Kaito had taken the instant it took for the man to roll his eyes to squirm just enough to free his trusty card-gun, surprising the man with a well-aimed shot enough to get him to drop him.

Before he could move very far, though, he was distracted by a terrified cry, and when he turned to look, was caught by a strangle-hold around his throat.

"You were a little out of it before, so you must not have realized, but we still have the girl you so heroically tried to save. You wouldn't want missy to get hurt, now, would you?" The other would-be assassin had what Kaito recognized as a laser gun aimed at her throat, and she was whimpering.

"You bastard, let her go!"

"Sorry kid, but you'll have to do better than that." And the other man shot him through the chest.

Stumbling backwards, blood pouring from him, Kaito managed to muster the strength to pull out a capsule of sleeping gas, but in his pain and lightheadedness, suddenly found himself caught between the gas and the drop behind him. As he felt his reflexes slow, he was knocked backwards by a sluggish punch by one of the kidnappers, and he began to free-fall down from the big bright face of that clock…That clock which had always promised such good meetings…Kaito let a tear roll out as he felt his consciousness slipping away, vaguely anticipating the sickening splat he would have to endure momentarily.

Suddenly, strong arms were wrapping around him, and he slowed. His eyes still closed, he suddenly felt overwhelmingly safe. So incredibly, unbelievably safe as he leaned back against a cold, muscular chest, the lingering pain of his gun wound closing up and stopping. Those strong, saving arms gripped him more tightly, insistently, as they landed lightly on solid ground. In his sleepy mind, Kaito half-registered that, though they were no longer moving, his savior hadn't released him, but his grip was actually tightening, pulling him closer... smooth, cold hands rubbing his sides, the feeling of a nose and lips buried in his hair…

His battle against the lull of chemically-induced sleep won over, and Kaito slumped over in those arms.

The first thing his sleep-addled brain wondered as he drifted towards consciousness was if snowflakes were falling on him. For he had the oddest sensation that light kisses of snow were landing and melting just as quickly all over his face. Mmmm, and what a comfortable bed...this is like sipping hot chocolate on a cold day, how perfect... Keeping his eyes shut stubbornly, Kaito stretched a little, not wanting to wake from this calming, pleasurable sensation, but then the recent events came racing back to him. The clocktower, and the kidnappers, and the fall... and...

His heart began to race. Before he'd drifted off, he'd been sure of his savior's identity, but now...Part of him didn't want to open his eyes, for fear that he would be disappointed. But no, that touch...this time, cold, strong hands gripping his arms gently...He knew this presence, though he hadn't felt him in so long. Knew him in and out, damn any differences wrought by their time apart. Slowly opening his eyes at last, Kaito looked up into Shinichi's eyes, and for what seemed like an eternity, they simply drank each other in.


Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it~ As you can probably tell, there will be quite a bit of KAISHIN-ness in the next chapter, so look out! Sorry for the cliffy... anyway, I really hope you liked this! Again, thanks so much for your reviews up until now. Please continue to give your feedback! Much appreciated!

Also, before someone asks, NO I did not forget about that poor girl with the kidnappers. That will be explained, though the explanation is probably quite obvious... :P

Anyway, thanks again!

tess4aria