It took me more than the ride back down to my apartment to feel borderline normal again after Nicky left me weak. I couldn't keep the smile off my face, even as I walked back into our apartment.

"What are you so smiley about?" Christopher was putting the dishes away.

I told him Nicky was cracking jokes about drinking rum like it was soda. Which is true.

"So what'd ya think? She seem like a trouble maker?" I asked.

He looked at me, "You two are up to no good, I can see it. But yes, she's cool. You gonna care when I start dragging my new friends in and out of here?"

"Noo! I wanna meet them too, Christopha. We can all hang out. You know what, I think movin' here was our best decision yet." I wiggled my head into a nod and looked at him nicely.

"Jesus, what did she give you? I know you aren't drunk off a glass of wine. I love seeing you this happy, but I gotta admit, it's a little suspicious. Wait- I don't need to worry about you sleeping with a woman do I?" He was cracking himself up at his jokes.

I laughed along with him, "Now that would be irresponsible. You give me everything I need." I squeezed his arm and laughed at my use of irresponsible in my head. "Now whattabout you? You wouldn't happen to have any new lady friends at the bar I'd need to worry about?" For some reason all my giddiness left my body. I was now facing the pain I'd been blocking out since I saw him at the bar. When Nicky isn't distracting me, I can feel it eating away at me.

He turned quickly, "What do you mean?" I could tell he was jumpy, and acting guilty.

"What do you think I mean?" I questioned, now with a straight face and making painful eye contact.

"Lorna are you accusing me of cheating? You don't trust me, is that it?" He was beginning to sound irritated.

"No, I -it's, you did it to me in the past and- ," I stuttered and my eyes began to water.

He noticed I was starting to get upset. "I was in a fucked up situation Lorna, now I know that there's nobody better than you." He grabbed my face. "I mean, nobody with these eyes, these perfect red lips," his hand began to wander down my neck, and the make up that had been covering my battlewound from Nicky was smudged, thanks to her own hand and tongue. I smiled in his hands, covering up the truth behind everything that I know has happened not only with him, but with Nicky as well. I pulled away as he kissed my cheek, just knowing that he would eventually try to have sex with me, not only revealing my hickey on my neck but most likely the ones on my stomach from Nicky's most recent play. Now is when all I can think about is how he was with that girl at the bar. It was weighing down on me heavier than the thought of Nicky was.

Christopher seemed surprised when I walked away, I never turn down to his lovey dovey side. I went and sat on the couch and he raised his voice from the kitchen, still cleaning up from our dinner. "You wanna watch a movie tonight? I don't have to be at work til 8 tomorrow night, so we can stay up late."

"Whattaya wanna watch?" I asked him.

"Anything you want babe, you choose. Just no West Side Story!" He laughed, knowing that would obviously be my first choice.

I scrolled through our Netflix feed and decided on The Town. I love Ben Affleck, he reminds me of Christopher.

Once Christopher was done in the kitchen, he changed into his comfy clothes, which consisted of a white tee and sweatpants. His sweatpants reminded me that I still didn't give Nicky's back to her, not that I wanted to at all. It was a nice reminder. He sat himself next to me and pulled a blanket over us. I loved cuddling with Christopher. I love smelling him, and his scruffy face and stiff, muscular body. We cuddled through the movie in the darkness of the living room, and he tried to seduce me, putting his hand between my legs. I decided to let him continue, to see how I felt with him. I knew masking the pain with sex and alcohol was never a good idea, but it's all I can do right now. Sometimes I wish I never met Nicky, so I could go back to my amazing life with my ... now unfaithful boyfriend. As soon as I remembered that I wasn't the only one twisting our trust, I allowed myself to take Nicky's advice. "Do what you wanna do kid, life's too short."

We ended up fucking on the couch in the dark, and he came within what seemed like a minute. If Nicky hadn't given me one of the best orgasms I've ever had in the elevator hours before, I would've been disappointed. He kissed my neck just as hard as Nicky, but not nearly as good, which was now an amazing excuse for the hickey which he was oblivious to earlier. Comparing Christopher's way of fucking me to Nicky's was only adding fuel to the fire. I wonder if he thinks that way about that girl at the bar. I try not to care, but I can't help it.

He passed out on the couch and I slid out from beside him, grabbed my phone and went into my bed. I read through Nicky and I's texts, just because. It was pretty late now, almost 12:30, but I couldn't sleep. I texted Nicky.

(Lorna)

U awake?

(Nicky Nichols)

Barely. whatsup? cant believe the elevator took us to the wrong floor! weird how those things work.

(Lorna)

Thank you for that btw. IOU;). But can we talk about that in a little bit? I'm lost. Should I talk to Christopher about that bar girl?

(Nicky Nichols)

Only if u want shit to hit the fan. U gonna tell him about the girl who lives 2 floors up while ur at it?

(Lorna)

Noooooooooo way! It's really messing with my head though. can't figure anything out.

(Nicky Nichols)

Idk what u want me to say. U dont have to hang out with me if u dont wanna. i dont wanna fuck with ur head. but i like u. and im going through some shit right now too and ur helping me through it just like i am u. go with the flow kid. do what u want. day by day. did i fuck u into confusion?

(Lorna)

Are u ok? Do you want to talk about anything? You don't deserve issues. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad.

(Nicky Nichols)

My shits my shit. U dont need to deal with my problems, i got them. thanks tho.

(Lorna)

Ok Nick.. and I like you too. Tomorrow night Christopher leaves at 8. Can I see you again?

(Nicky Nichols)

I'm working til 9. I'll see u when I get out. Lets go out. I got a place in mind. see u then.

I was already anxious and excited for tomorrow night. I wonder where she's taking me? I could only imagine what she has in mind. I could hear Christopher snoring from the living room, so I shut out door and dozed off with the bed to myself.