Author's Note:
STOP!
Before you read this chapter you MUST read this warning:
There is yaoi in this story, as I have said before. It's extremely difficult to tell just how many people reading this know what's in it. Therefore, if you DO NOT like yaoi, immediately stop reading this fanfiction.
If you do not know what 'Yaoi' means, it is a nickname or term for male/male relationships.
Thank you.
I stress this warning because I do not feel like insulting Harvest Moon fans. And anyway, hopefully you all know that now. If you insist on reading and you know you don't like yaoi, don't you DARE try flaming me. I will not respond and instead will simply delete the message. But,
If you give me a regular review with constructive criticism or praise, I'd appreciate it! :D
Okay, the whole story's base comes down to this. I can't give you any more cliffhangers to stop you and force you to think about what it's about (but it's really fun to listen to what you guys think ha ha).
I understand that many of you probably do not support the pairing developed in the story, however, I hope you all still read it and enjoy it. I also hope you do not try to kill me for the lateness, but I struggled for a while with it because I rarely write anything Harvest Moon yaoi. Consider this my first HM yaoi pairing.
Lastly when you have finished reading this story read the bottom Author's Note for UPCOMING HARVEST MOON FANFICTION INVOLVING MORE ANGST, DRAMA, AND ALL THAT STUFF YOU KNOW YOU LOVE.
Thanks for reading this Author's Note guys!
Enjoy~
'You Lied to Me'
The skies became darker as late evening set in. The clouds hovering overhead didn't help much either, but that didn't seem to disturb Jin's trek through the woods. He had reached Ganache Mines quickly enough, and had followed a familiar path, leading in between rock passages and underneath canopies that drooped from their large branches of leaves. The trail wasn't beaten in, but there were faint markings that sparked memories hidden within the doctor.
He kept his gaze down. He didn't even have to think about where he was going, he'd been down here some many times that he no longer had to think about where he was going. He could hear the unmistakable sound of rustling wind that always followed a river. And soon, the sound of water itself. Jin knew that Luke would be there.
And he was.
"I knew they'd send you down here." Luke said absentmindedly. Jin slowly descended the little drop-off leading to the river, and he stood next to it, Luke sitting nearby on a small boulder.
"Then why didn't you run?" Jin asked. Luke grunted in response. As if annoyed by the sound of Jin's voice. But he knew that was not the truth. He swallowed hard.
"That's right, Jin. Say something smart, to make me feel stupid." Luke pouted, his gaze still turned away. He refused to look at the doctor.
"You know that's not true." Jin said softly. "I never set out to make you feel stupid."
"Or anything else for that matter." said Luke boldly. Jin sighed.
"Luke…"
"Just say it already won't ya?" Luke said between gritted teeth. His anger was rising. But Jin didn't fear that, never had. He knew it was just a barrier to protect the carpenter, after years of harsh scolding from Dale.
"Say what, Luke? What would you like to hear me say? Something to anger you more, or make you feel better?" he said. "Because I will say neither. I won't say anything at all if need be."
Luke scoffed, rolling his cat-like yellow eyes in response. He obviously didn't care for anything Jin had to say, or at least, he was pretending not to. "Whatever, look, they sent you here because of the ankle didn't they? Just go ahead and fix it and be done with it."
Jin walked over, sitting beside a pouting, uncomfortable Luke. He winced as Jin put pressure to the joint, asking what part hurt most and deciding where the most support would have to go. Luke growled his response, still refusing to look at the raven beside him…but it still hurt.
"There," said Jin as he finished tying a makeshift 'brace' for Luke's ankle. "Stay off it for a while and it should heal properly."
Jin stood up, sticking his hands in his pockets, Luke never felt colder in his entire life than he did now. There were tears in the corners of his eyes, and his throat hurt with the sob he held back. He couldn't hold it in and failed to hold back a cry as he bent over on himself. Jin said nothing, did nothing. He simply stared out at the river as Luke cried.
"I've never hated anyone more in my entire life…" Luke sobbed, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. Jin still stood there, frozen. Suddenly Luke exploded, pushing himself off the boulder and holding himself up on his good ankle. "Aren't you going to do anything but stand there! Don't you care about anything at all!"
Jin seemed to be lost in thought, not really in tune with what was going on. Luke registered this and flew at him, grabbing the front of his jacket in his balled fists. "Answer me!" he shouted.
"I've always cared about you, Luke. I just never knew what was best for you at the time." said Jin. Luke's eyes widened, before turning into a glare again.
"So you thought abandoning me was the best thing to do!" Luke continued as he shoved Jin back, letting go of the jacket. Jin sighed heavily, something he did quite often as of late.
"It was better than what could have happened instead." said Jin.
You were always following me around. When we'd run down this very trail together, and you'd try to push me into the river, then you'd give up and jump in yourself. You always latched onto me, never leaving my side. And as I grew older, I knew things weren't right between us.
I remember when Grandmother wanted to send me away to become a doctor. You were so upset, and I didn't know what to do.
So when I left I studied hard, and I married. But when my wife died, I decided that I'd rather be alone if that's what it meant, rather than return back to you. I knew you'd be waiting, and I was afraid for you. Of what your father would say, would think.
Jin looked up at the sky, watching the darkness overhead. He felt Luke lean onto him, now once again holding onto his jacket.
"I looked up to you. I thought," Luke cried, "I thought you hated me. When you sent me away, I thought you didn't want to see me anymore."
Jin shook his head. "That was never the reason."
"Then why! Who cares what my father thinks? Oh wait, I remember, you told me I was too much of a child to understand right?" Luke spat, referring to the comment of which had led to Luke slapping him.
"Yes, Luke. You are." Jin said firmly, not moving from his thoughts. But inside he hurt too. He wanted so badly for all of this to just go away, and for Luke to stop being so angry with him. True he had stopped himself from becoming attached to Luke in the past, so that Luke was safe from the criticism. But now, he wanted only to hold him, to tell him it was okay. "But I…"
"No. You want so badly for me to get lost then I will. I only wanted you to know how I felt." said Luke, staring into Jin's grey blue eyes. He turned and limped away, careful not to put any weight on his bad ankle. "I just wanted you to know…that I loved you, Jin."
Jin waited until the air was silent, before he spoke again.
"I always knew that, Luke. I just never wanted to admit aloud, that I love you too."
A few weeks went by after the incident in the forest. No one said anything in town probably because there wasn't anything to say. No one knew the true nature of the argument between Luke and Jin. Not even the little group of friends who had done their best to help them knew what was truly wrong. And the doctor and the carpenter preferred to keep it that way.
But things weren't any better.
Jin couldn't focus on his work. Medicinal reports were left unfinished or not even started at all. And oftentimes he'd find himself staring down at a blank page, replaying the words Luke had said to him.
Likewise, Luke had stopped sleeping altogether. Lying awake at night, glaring at the ceiling as he remembered the earlier incidents. It only mad him angrier, and he'd only end up throwing his pillow to the other side of the room, huffing as he'd curl up in his bed and cover his head with the sheets. His father had time and time again asked him what was bothering him, but Luke would only grunt his response and pretend his father wasn't even there.
And the chances for hiding it all were long gone. Neither man looked as 'fine' as they said they were when prompted. They were too busy wrapped up in their anger and distraught to notice that they were deteriorating.
Luke thought on and on about the situation, and the more conclusions he arrived at, the worse he felt.
Was he forcing Jin into a relationship he didn't want? Just like when they were kids? His stomach dropped and he felt sick. He was pushing too hard, that must be it. And now, it was up to him to apologize.
Quickly, and quietly, he wandered his way toward town. He avoided eye contact and shrugged off those who would try to engage him in conversation. Even the cheery ones like Maya or Julius easily got the hint that Luke preferred to be left alone. And just as quietly as he entered town, he found his way to the clinic.
Looking up, he swallowed hard, never really feeling nervousness before now. Dread was washing over him as he read the letters spelling out, 'Meringue Clinic' above the shiny, clean white door with the 'welcome' sign hanging in front of it. Suddenly he remembered that maybe Irene or Perry were around, and he almost wanted to back away and run home again, but Luke stood his ground. It was always hard for him to apologize, but he needed to do this. If he couldn't have Jin, he'd at least put the past behind them and try to move on. He sucked in air and held his breath as he reached for the doorknob, and opened the door.
The clinic was cool and Luke looked around wearily as the tiny bell hang from the door tinkled slightly. He was half-expecting to be pounced by Perry or see sweet old Irene smile and beckon him to the counter to do business. But no one was there. Luke glanced at the archway, leading to Jin's office, before slowly stepping on the cold marble floor. And he hoped with all his might that Jin could forgive him.
As he made his way to the other side of the room he wondered just what was appropriate to say. He knew, without a doubt, that Jin would listen to him and that seemed to calm Luke's nerves a bit.
'Just say, look Jin I'm sorry I've been acting this way and forcing you to love me. You're always busy and you don't need me acting like a child to get my way.' Luke thought. He turned the corner to see Jin in his chair. He was seated sideways, so that he faced Luke. But what had startled Luke, was that Jin's eyes were closed and his head was lying his in left arm, which was being supported by the desk. He smiled a little to himself and contemplated leaving Jin there to sleep. But, he had come here for a reason, and now he had to say something. He was not about to walk away with things still the way they were.
"Jin." he said softly. He leaned forward, carefully trying not to hurt his still sore ankle. It had healed somewhat, but was not used to being stood on quite yet.
He watched as Jin's hand twitched, and he frowned, his eyebrows furrowing together as he glared at the floor before holding his head and looking up. He was surprised to see Luke standing there, and did his best to shake off the sleep still evident on his face.
"Something you need, Luke?" he asked, his voice a bit deeper after just waking up. Luke's heart suddenly hardened in his chest, and he looked down. All the confidence he had before now diminished as he stood before the real Jin, and not just a memory he used to think through the things he wanted to say.
"I…" Luke started. He swallowed hard again, his throat swollen as his chest continued to ache.
Jin, now awake, was aware of the obvious distraught look on Luke's face. There was something deeply bothering him, and he needed to know what it was.
"Luke, is something wrong? Are you feeling alright?" asked Jin, getting up from his seat. Luke looked up and almost shrank back. Jin was much taller than him, and made Luke feel like that little boy from long ago. But Jin's worried look made it easier to look Jin in the face.
"It's just that…" Luke began. He couldn't finish though. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't bring himself to say it, because it meant goodbye. It meant that despite Luke's love for Jin, he had to leave the raven alone. And this, more than anything, was impossible for the energetic, passionate carpenter.
Jin sighed, seeing the torment in Luke's eyes, evidence that he was sorry for the things he said (and for that matter so was Jin), and was desperately afraid of staying away. Why else would the carpenter come all the way into town to see someone he had formerly claimed to hate? Jin stepped forward, placing a hand on Luke's shoulder. Luke looked up at him, the bright yellow of his eyes seemed even brighter in the clinic lights. Jin's grey-blue seemed darker now, and sent a chill up Luke's spine. But he didn't back down.
Tired, frustrated, and knowing they were totally alone, Jin pulled Luke towards him, crushing his lips to Luke's. Luke closed his eyes, Jin's tongue forcing it's way into the carpenter's mouth and coaxing it to life. Luke didn't stop the groan that escaped him, nor did he keep himself from raising his arms up and about the raven's shoulders. He removed Jin's glasses and undid the binding on Jin's long, silky hair. For a moment, he felt as if he'd gone crazy, or that he was dreaming. But each time his mouth met in sinc with Jin's, he knew it wasn't.
He pulled away, convinced that no matter how much he wanted this, he couldn't force Jin to love him anymore. Jin watched him carefully, and waited for Luke to say something. It didn't take long for Luke to speak.
"I'm sorry." he began. He felt like his heart was breaking, and he wanted nothing more than to pull Jin back into his arms. But,
"There's nothing to be sorry about." Jin said softly. His blue-grey eyes were warm, soft. They were almost…
"I've been forcing you to love me, because I'm so selfish." Luke sobbed. Tears streamed down his face. He seemed to cry a lot lately, due to his emotional being. He was always exploding with feeling.
"No Luke, that's not-" Jin started, but Luke stopped him.
"Don't try to tell me I'm not hurting you by making you do this. I know now that I have to accept that I'll never be with you Jin. I'm so sorry, I won't hurt you anymore. At first I hated you because I didn't understand. But…I'm just sorry." Luke explained. "Goodbye."
Luke ran, leaving Jin speechless, staring after his love's retreating form. He placed a hand to his chest and let his gaze drop to the floor.
"I won't lose you, Luke. I will make things right again." Jin said to himself, devoting himself to this promise.
Author's Note:
Okay, so I'm telling you all ahead of time, the next chapter of Spinach Dip shall be the last. I know, I know, it's a D: type of thing. But it has to happen. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope all of you will be excited for and enjoy the last chapter, coming very soon.
By the time I put this chapter up, I will have fleshed out almost all of chapter 5 and should therefore be posting it pretty quickly (if I don't struggle with it AGAIN, I mean I've obviously written yaoi before just never HM yaoi…). I decided to work these two chapters out like twins because I needed to connect them and it seemed like I could get through them better if I did it at the same time.
I also wanted everyone to know about the future releases of the following:
-Red Velvet Cake: Chase & Gil
-Futile Sunsets: Vaughn & Mark
-Everlast: Chelsea & Julia; sequel to Futile Sunsets
-Broken Glass: Angela & ?; like Spinach Dip because the other character in the pairing is not mentioned yet
Review please!
