Chapter 4

Disclaimer-I don't own Instant Star…blah blah blah. But I do own the plot and whatever else you don't recognize from the show.

She still couldn't believe it. She had finally told Tommy she loved him. But she couldn't help but wonder in the back of her mind: When this is all over…will he still love me? Or will it be like every other relationship I've ever been in. I get close to him and then he backs out. The ring of her phone interrupted her thoughts. She looked on the caller-ID on her phone to find it was Darius.

"Yea D?" she said.

"Jude I need you at the studio."

"For what?"

"I want to talk about a new single."

They hung up and Jude left her house for the studio.

She walked into D's office.

"You know we need to make a new single don't you?"

"Yea."

"Well we cant do that unless we have your producer. And we can't have the producer because he's on the run from the cops." D said sternly.

Jude looked at him, eyes wide.

"How do you know about that?"

"I called T. He told me everything.'

Jude stared blankly at the floor not daring to look up.

"Jude, why are you helping him? After all he's put you through?"

She didn't speak.

"Jude!" he yelled.

"Because D. Because I…I love him.

D stood there in shock.

"You…you love him?"

"Yes."

D was about to say something when he was cut off by Jude's cell phone ringing She looked at the caller ID on her phone and then back up at Darius.

"I have to take this." Jude said almost in a whisper.

"Who is it?" D demanded.

Jude got up hoping she wouldn't have to answer him.

"Jude."

She stopped and turned around with the ringing phone in her hand.

"Who is it?" he said this time more sternly.

"Uh…Tom." She said slowly.

"Go on Jude. We're done here any way." He sounded a bit angry

She stepped outside and answered her phone.

"You told Darius?"

"Well hello to you to."

"Sorry. I just didn't know you told him."

"I really didn't have a choice in the matter. He said that either I told him what was going on or I could consider my job as a producer over. I can probably consider it over any way."

"Well maybe not. Maybe we can prove that he actually did kill your father and somehow get you off the hook for murder."

"What good would it do to prove he killed my dad? Caleb's dead. And I killed him. They are gonna get me for murdering him and I will go straight back to jail. Just where I said I would never go again."

"Ok Tommy listen to me. You're not going back to jail. It won't happen. We will get you out of this."

"I hope you're right Jude."

"Listen. I have to talk to you about something."

"Alright. What is it?"

"When you wrote that letter…did you mean what you said or is it like every other time. You getting caught up in another moment?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line.

"Tom?"

"Yeah I'm here."

"Well answer my question."

Another pause.

"Tommy!" Jude yelled.

"I don't know Jude." Tommy finally said.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I have feelings for you but I haven't really figured out what they are. And even they are love, we couldn't work out. And you know that just as well as I do. You're too young for me."

"But I don't care about that. Don't you understand? I love you no matter what. I don't want…I can't keep letting you in my heart only to have you break it again. Why do you always do that to me?"

"Like I've said to many times before. I get caught up in the moment and I get carried away. I don't mean to hurt you. I really don't. I think about what it would mean for you if we were together. I don't want to put you through any of those things."

"Tommy I wouldn't care as long as I was with you. It wouldn't bother me at all. And the letter you wrote me. It meant pretty much nothing?"

"It may mean something. But I just need some time to sort things out."

"Has it ever occurred to you that the reason you keep 'getting caught up in the moment' is because you really want to be with me and we were meant to be together?"

"Yes actually that thought has come to my mind. But it always disappears later. That's why I'm so confused about us."

"If you would really listen to what your heart is saying…you would know what we are or what we are supposed to be. But you are to big of a coward to do that."

"I am not a coward. I'm not afraid for me. I'm afraid for you because you don't know some of the things that people will say. They could really hurt your career and I don't want that."

"Have you not been listening to what I have been saying to you? I don't care about any of that. They would get over it eventually. I just want to be with you. I love you."

"I would really love to continue this conversation but I have to go. I need time to think about some things."

"Fine, bye" And she hung up not giving him a chance to say any thing else.

She drove home and went straight up to her room.

God, why is he doing this to me? Jude thought. She picked up her journal and flung it across the room. Loose papers scattered everywhere. She knew Tommy wasn't the best at sharing how he felt with other people. But why did he have to be so stubborn about everything? She thought about Tommy for a few more minutes. Then she got up, picked up the papers on the floor along with the journal, placed them on a shelf and cried until she fell asleep.

AN- I know this isn't the best but I'm tired and I really needed to get this chapter up so u guys can read it. I have an idea for the next chapter but I don't know how well it will work out. Reviews for this chapter would be nice. Thx!