Chapter 4 :
Did you only want me for those three days?
Did you only need me for those three days?
Did you love me forever
Just for those three days?
You built a nest inside my soul,
You rest your head on leaves of glod
Lexa runs by Clarke towards the bathroom her hand on her mouth and Clarke looks worriedly at her "Baby are you ok?" Lexa doesn't reply she was already throwing up her guts in the bathroom.
Clarke smiles when she sees her mother's name on her phone she picks it up, it has been a long time she didn't talk to her and now she has great news to share with her.
"Hi, mom!" Clarke gets back to her bedroom while talking to her mom.
"Yeah everything is just great" Clarke walks back into her bedroom.
After Clarke hangs up, Lexa finally gets out of the bathroom and lays on her bed looking at Clarke getting ready for work.
"Mom is coming" Clarke lets out happily.
"Oh" Lexa is not as enthusiastic as Clarke, she knows Abby maybe tolerant of their relationship but not of their marriage and especially not of Lexa "You're going to tell her?".
"Yeah! I wonder what she's gonna say. She is gonna be so excited" Clarke asks happily while Lexa is laying on her bed rubbing soothing circles on her belly.
"What should we tell her if she asks about the last name?" Clarke says while putting on her blouse.
"Why Do we have to bring it up?" Lexa replies annoyingly.
"Well it doesn't mean that we should, just in case she asks, you know! It just maybe easier to use Griffin-Wood" Clarke says.
"I don't think that we should tell her anything that might not be true. You know how your mother is!" Lexa replies after letting a loud gasp.
Clarke frowns and looks at her wife questioningly "How is she?"
"I think we should use like a combo thing" Lexa doesn't reply at Clarke's question.
"What like Griffood?" Clarke asks while putting her vest on.
"Clarke!" Lexa tries to get her wife's attention "Hey Griffood, how is your two moms being gay mo whatever it's gonna be in few years"
Clarke laughs "What about Woodin, then?" Lexa looks at her like 'Are you serious'.
"Ok, fine you're right. We shouldn't mention it" Clarke ends up agreeing "See you tonight" She adds before kissing Lexa's forehead and leaves.
Lexa turns on her back and lets out a breath 'It's going to be a long day' She thinks to herself.
Raven gets in the café and quickly notices that Lexa wasn't there. She walks to the table where Luna and Alice were having their breakfast while the Blakes were helping at serving the waiting line of customers.
"Good morning Ladies" Raven smiles at Luna and Alice.
"Hey, beautiful" Alice replies while Luna smiles while looking between the two of them "Morning, Raven. I see you had a good night".
Raven blushes and looks at her friend "Yeah! Where is Lexa?".
"Didn't show up yet" Luna replies, Raven nods.
"So! Am I going to see you tonight?" Alice asks Raven.
"What's for tonight?" Raven looks at her confused.
"I'm asking you out for a drink, what do you think about that?" Alice boldly replies, Luna looks at her friend waiting for her reply.
"Ow, ok!" Raven simply replies then looks at Octavia still serving.
"Good!" Alice replies then looks at her cousin "Ok, I have to go for my job interview" Then she looks back at Raven "And you, I'll see you tonight".
Raven looks at Alice leaving then her eyes meet Octavia's who didn't miss the way her friend was checking out Alice. She walks to the table.
"Hey Raven" Octavia tries to get her friend's attention.
"Hi, Octavia" Raven replies flatly and Octavia smiles "Can I get you something?".
Raven looked confused at her friend, Octavia knows her usual order but she usually asks her employees to get them or sometimes Raven takes her coffee on her own.
"Just, the usual please" Raven replies without looking at her friend.
"I'll be right back" Octavia replies.
"What was that?" Luna asks Raven who was looking everywhere but at her.
"What?" Raven asks.
"That, you and O! Since when she asks for your order and I was like invisible" Luna replies.
"I don't know what you're talking about" Raven defends herself.
"Really? Raven she has a crush on you, duh!" Luna quickly replies looking at the counter where Octavia was standing.
"No, she is just being nice, friendly" Raven comments.
"Come on' since when Octavia was nice with you? It was clearly sexual tension" Luna states as a matter of fact.
"We were best friend Luna!" Raven informs her.
"What? You and O?" Luna asks confused.
"Yeah! I know her back from middle school" Raven replies annoyed. Neither her nor Octavia ever talked about their mutual past and no one of their friends know about them being best friends.
"Are you kidding me?" Luna tries again feeling like Raven is just joking.
"No, I'm not. Things happened and we just grew apart then now she's…now it's a mess" Raven explains.
"Fuck! Why didn't I know about that? And wy is it a mess? What did you do?" Luna asks more herself than Raven. She knows Octavia is usually the one picking on Raven.
"Because we were best friends with feelings. I had feelings but she's just…"Raven says looking sadly at Octavia.
"That explains a lot" Luna says looking thoughtful "Ask her out" She looks with a smirk not noticing that Octavia was coming back their way.
"I can't, and she won't agree. It's….and I already have a date tonight" Raven says not knowing that Octavia heard her and stopped immediately.
Luna was trying to silence Raven but to no avail, Raven wasn't looking at her "And your cousin is wild, I like her".
Luna laughs nervously "Yeah! She is. Hey here's your coffee" Raven blood runs cold.
She looks at Octavia but the younger brunette put the coffee and doughnut looking natural with no emotion at all. She knows Luna saw her and by the way she acted and she knows that Luna knows something.
"Thanks, O!" Raven tries hardly not to blush, Octavia doesn't reply and leave.
"Fuck!" Raven lets out angrily.
"I don't wanna be you" Luna adds "You really need to talk to her, Raven".
"I did" Raven replies and Luna asks again wanting more "And?" Raven looks at her friend trying hard not to cry "She said we're nothing, not even best friends…even after kissing me back" Raven was thinking about the other night at the bar.
"Ow! It was you" Luna comments and Raven nods.
Later that day, Raven calls Lexa and informs her that she has a date with Alice aka All, Luna's cousin. She wanted to know if she should go or not and Lexa encouraged her saying 'you might never know, maybe you will like her'.
"I'm going to have dinner with " Lexa says to her friend.
"That's good, right?" Raven asks not sure about it. She never met Clarke's mother and she doesn't know what kind of relationship Lexa has with Clarke's family.
"I don't know" Lexa replies "She is…you know! Not ok with her Clarke being with a woman" Lexa explains.
"Don't tell me she's homophobic!"
"No, it's not like that. She doesn't like me, euh how to paraphrase it she is just too uptight" Lexa adds.
"I see! And are you going to tell her about the baby?" Raven asks.
"Yeah, you know Clarke! She's so happy about it" Lexa replies.
"Well, you're going to have an interesting evening then" Raven comments and she hears Lexa chuckle "Yeah. It's going to be tense and it's not good for the baby" Lexa whines.
"It's barely there, Lexa!" Raven says laughing.
"It's alive, a baby girl" Lexa informs her with happily.
"You already know?" Raven asks but doesn't let Lexa reply she carries on "She is going to be beautiful and you're going to be the best mom".
Lexa smiles happy to hear Raven's words "Thank you, Raven"
Clarke was fuming in her office, here and there between meetings and phone calls she was barely able to concentrate on the actual paperwork she has on her desk when she hears a knock she looks up and finds that it's Monty.
"Can I talk to you for a minute, Clarke?" Monty asks politely.
"Monty, I really don't have much time look!" She points out at the paperwork scattered on her desk "I'm not even able to find anything with this mess" Clarke relents leaving everything there and walks to the couch where she lays shamelessly.
"What do you need, Monty? The clock is ticking" Clarke says seriously.
Seeing that Clarke was really busy and exhausted he retracts "Never mind, I'll talk to you tomorrow or never" He jokes chuckling nervously.
"No, no no no! Wait" Clarke sits up suddenly tapping on the couch asking for him to join her "What do you need?" Clarke looks at him.
"I…euh! Can I have the day off tomorrow?" He grimaces expecting the refusal.
"That's it? You want the day off?" Clarke asks again not sure and Monty nods.
"Well you chose the wrong timing but of course you can have your day off just leave me tomorrow's schedule on my desk before you leave" Clarke replies.
"It's ready" He waves the document on his hand and Clarke raises her brow then walks back to her desk and points to the scattered papers with a smile.
"Ok, I'll give it to you later" Monty says.
"Oh and what about my mother! Did…"Clarke doesn't have the time to finish her sentence when he replies "I sent a driver to the airport and the sign reads , not Mrs and double F" He grins.
"Thanks" Clarke smiles gratefully at Monty "You're the best".
"I learned from the best" Monty replies humbly "Do you need anything else?"
Clarke hesitates for a moment then goes for it "Could you please order me a coffee? I really need the extra energy" She says.
"I would have brought one if I knew you needed it" Clarke hears Niylah's voice.
Monty looks at the woman who shamelessly interrupts them then at Clarke whose cheeks are bright red by now.
"That's all, Monty. Thank you" Clarke dismisses him and he leaves with a raised eyebrow.
"You are not going to have a coffee instead of lunch, are you?" Niylah asks rhetorically knowing that Clarke doesn't take lunch breaks especially this last days. However Clarke replies "No, I'm not".
Clarke looks at Niylah walking like she owns the place towards the couch, they may have got close the last weeks but Clarke is still surprised by Niylah's easiness in pushing her boundaries further and further.
"But I'll get you one day!" Niylah replies and Clarke doesn't miss what her words implied.
Nonetheless, she replies "I know, I promised you a drink. You'll have it" and Niylah smirks "I hope so"".
Niylah opens her agenda that was in her hand and walked seductively to Clarke leaning exaggeratedly on the desk too close to Clarke just to take a pen and puts the agenda on the desk then looks up at Clarke trying to meet her eyes but Clarke manages to ignore Niylah's silent request.
"I see there's some progress" Clarke says with her professional voice eyeing intently Niylah's agenda.
"Yeah! But there's still a lot of work that needs to be done" Niylah replies not so much professionally placing her hand on top of Clarke's and delicately shoves it away with a caress to show Clarke.
Clarke gasps when she unintentionally lifts her face and sees Niylah's face so close to hers. 'Wrong, this is wrong' A voice resonates in her head. Niylah stares defiantly at her while clearly glancing at Clarke's lips but not moving waiting to see what Clarke is going to do.
"Clarke!" Monty saves the day bringing the coffee. He eyes both women, Clarke was wearing a guilty face and Niylah her usual cocky smirk.
Niylah doesn't even bother to move away she just leans back a little bit to give Clarke the space needed to leave.
"Here is your coffee and Lexa called, she asked you to call her back whenever you are free" Monty says looking at Niylah.
"Ok, thank you Monty" Clarke smiles at him then sips her coffee "God! I needed that" She practically moans at the taste and Niylah smiles "You're enjoying it way too much. You should have lunch now not coffee".
"I don't have time" Clarke excuses herself.
"You need to take care of yourself, Clarke" Niylah adds.
"You sound like Lexa" Clarke spontaneously blurs out.
"Yet she is right" Niylah smiles and leaves Clarke confused even more.
'Fuck! I need to get back to work' she speaks loudly to herself.
When Clarke got back home she finds Lexa asleep on the couch she huffs and wakes her up "Lexa! We've to be in 30 minutes at my mom's hotel. Wake up" Clarke shakes Lexa's shoulder.
"I'm sorry, I drifted asleep" Lexa excuses herself "I'm just gonna put some make up and I'll be ready to go".
Clarke eyes Lexa with a frown 'You're not serious! You're not wearing that dress".
Lexa looks down at her dress with a frown "I like it, it's comfy".
"You know what! I'll just pick something else. Just go put your make up" Clarke says annoyed and Lexa takes off the dress and toss it on their bed while heading towards the bathroom.
Clarke follows her asking "You called me today?"
Lexa looks at her from the mirror "Yeah".
"Why didn't you call me on my mobile?" Clarke frowns confused.
"I did" Lexa replies focusing back on putting her make up.
When they get to the hotel, they both gets out of the car to greet her, Clarke walks faster than Lexa and jumps into her mother's arms "Mom, I missed you".
Lexa feels already uncomfortably at the way Clarke's mom is eyeing her from the distance like she is not worthy of her dear daughter. However, she smiles pleasantly at the old woman for her wife's sake.
"It's good to see you, baby" Clarke's mom says after tearing her eyes away from Lexa.
Lexa greets her nervously "Hello Abby".
"Hello, Miss Woods" Abby replies formally.
Lexa hops in the back of the car so that can be on the front seat with her daughter. During the whole ride, Lexa is silent and thoughtful letting Clarke enjoy her mother's presence. She never got to share such a relation with her mom as she died when she was a baby and with her father it was a pretty cold and tense relationship.
When they get to the restaurant, Lexa sits next to Clarke and both facing Abby.
"So, what do you think of my girl?" Abby looks at her daughter proudly.
"Oh, I think she is amazing." Lexa replies surprised that Abby was talking to her then she looks at Clarke lovingly "I think the show is going to be incredible".
Clarke smiles at her wife happy to be with the two most important women in her life.
"And how is your career shaping up, Miss Woods" Abby asks Lexa again.
"I don't have much to tell at the moment, I left my job eight months ago" She replies honestly.
Abby looks astonished then Clarke intervenes "Mom, the thing is Lexa is doing something really special. Something for the both of us"
"Hi, can I start your evening off with a drink?" The waiter says.
Lexa looks up at him "Hi, of course.." Abby interrupts her "Clarke? What do you want to drink?" Clarke is taken aback "Euh, I think we'll have a large bottle of Pellegrino" She looks at her wife and smiles, Lexa nods.
The waiter looks at Abby "A Manhattan" She replies.
"I'll get those right away and gets be back to take your orders in few minutes" The waiter says before leaving.
"Thank you" Lexa replies even though she didn't even have a say on what to drink.
She starts to feel very uncomfortable at the way Abby is treating her, not even acknowledging her presence while Clarke clearly feels a bit embarrassed by her mother's behavior she doesn't do anything to stop it or defend her. All she does is smile and take her hand to reassure her.
However, it seems like Abby doesn't like the public display of the couple's affection and Clarke understands it, removing quickly her hand off Lexa's and Abby nods with a content smile.
"Lexa, would you like to tell her?" Clarke looks at her wife with a reassuring smile.
Lexa feels even more nervous, she knows this is a bad idea but since Clarke is pushing her maybe she is right.
Maybe Abby will be happy for them "Emm..Ok" She looks hesitantly at Clarke then at Abby "Well, Abby! Clarke and I are having a baby" but the old woman doesn't reply.
"Mom, we're having a baby. You're going to have a grandchild" Clarke tries again looking nervously at her mother.
"A baby? You're having a baby Clarke?" Abby finally says with a smile.
"Yeah, Lexa is pregnant" Clarke smiles happy to see the smile on her mother's face.
"Lexa is pregnant!" Abby frowns "And you're happy about that?" She looks at Clarke.
"Yeah, this is something I wanted to have long ago but I couldn't so Lexa is going to be the birth mother" Clarke explains.
"It doesn't make it yours" Abby comments.
"I might be the birth mother but Clarke is as much a mom as I am for our daughter" Lexa deadpans and both Clarke and Abby looks at her.
"It's a girl?" Clarke frowns and Lexa nods smiling "You know!".
"Aren't you happy mom?" Clarke looks at her mother trying to forget about the unpleasant situation Lexa just put her through.
"Well, it doesn't seem like you're aware of it Clarke but Miss Woods is the birth mother and you are just going to take care of its needs. You didn't even know that it's a girl!" Abby says seriously while Lexa grimaces at her referring to her daughter "it" as if it wasn't a human being.
"Mom, we're a couple. We're married! We're starting a family. Aren't you happy to be a grandmother?" Clarke asks her mom.
"That's not my grandchild unless you give birth to it and thank God you didn't cause a baby needs two parents, a dad and a mom" Abby replies harshly.
The waiter goes back with the drinks "Can I tell you about tonight specials! We have…" He doesn't get the chance to finish when Lexa interrupts him politely "Can you please give us a minute?" She looks up at him and he nods.
Clarke waits for him to finish pouring their drinks before replying to her mom "Mom, we wanted this for so long, I'll be taking care of the baby as much as Lexa and I'll have a say as much as Lexa" Clarke tries to explain.
Abby doesn't even bother to reply she looks at the waiter and waves at him he comes back and resumes suggesting the specialties, not sparing even a glance at Lexa who feels more than annoyed.
She excuses herself and stands up, Clarke stands up with her looking worried Lexa who simply says "I'm sorry, I don't feel so well".
"Do you want to go to the bathroom?" Clarke asks her but Lexa shakes her head "I'm just gonna go home".
"Then, I'll take you" Clarke replies but Lexa refuses "No, stay" the she looks at Abby "It was really nice seeing you again Abby" Lexa says with a serious tone.
"I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I'll get Clarke back to you in no time" Abby replies with a fake smile.
Clarke watches Lexa leaving then looks back at her mom who acts as if nothing happened ordering her dinner calmly.
"Hey, Raven you look…" Alice eyes Raven then resumes "Sexy tonight" She flirts and Raven chuckles.
"Thanks! You're not so bad yourself" Raven replies blushing then she feels her phone vibrating "I'm sorry! It's Lexa" She excuses herself and picks up the call.
"Hey, Lexa! Are you ok?" Raven is worried, Lexa never calls her that late especially that she knows she should be having dinner with Clarke and Abby.
"Yeah! I'm fine. Can you please come and pick me up?" Lexa asks.
"Of course" Raven replies before hanging up.
"You need to leave?" Alice says knowingly.
"Yeah! I'm sorry. I'll take you out for lunch or dinner instead, my treat of course. What do you think?" Raven looks hopefully at Alice.
"Well, I cannot refuse the offer. I'd love that…go now! Talk to you tomorrow" Alice replies with a smile.
"Thank you" Raven says before running to her car.
When she gets Lexa back to her place, she listens to her telling about what happened and she feels sorry for her friend.
"I don't know what to say, Lexa! It's mean but who cares? And it doesn't change the fact that you love Clarke and she loves you, you're a family already".
"I know, but it would be nice for our daughter to at least meet one of her grandmothers" Lexa shrugs feeling sad.
"I know but you have us! We're her family too! I'll be her grandmother" Raven laughs.
"Shut up, you're going to be the godmother" Lexa replies shoving Raven's shoulder.
"Oh wow! I wasn't expecting that" Raven says with a smile.
"How did you not? You're my best friend" Lexa states obviously.
"That's an honor, thanks" Raven replies happily.
About an hour later, Clarke gets back home after their dinner and driving her mother back to her hotel. She meets Tim with his girlfriend getting out of the car.
"Hey, Tim!" Clarke waves at him with a smile.
"Clarke!" He replies "Come here, let me introduce you".
Clarke walks to them smiling at Tim's girlfriend whose face looks familiar face "Hi".
"Clarke, this is Dana my partner. Dana this is Clarke our next door neighbor I talked to you about".
The so called Dana smiles politely at Clarke while taking her hand to shake "Nice to meet you, Clarke"
"Oh, the Dana Fairbanks!" Clarke exclaims and Dana nods nervously.
"Yeah, the one and only" Tim replies with a chuckle.
"My pleasure to meet you, Dana" Clarke says "So how was your trip back home?".
"Long, how is Lexa doing?" Tim comments.
"Of course! She is fine as much as she could be when pregnant" Clarke adds her eyes lighten, happy to share the news.
"Congratulations" Both Tim and Dana says in unison.
"Thanks guys. You should come tomorrow and introduce Dana to everyone" Clarke says looking at Dana who seemed uncomfortable.
"Sure, we'll be there" Tim smiles.
"Ok, I'll let you guys rest. Good night" Clarke replies and heads back to her home. She notices Raven's car and feels a little bit better knowing that Lexa wasn't alone.
Clarke walks into her home feeling a little bit guilty at not insisting on Lexa to stay for dinner and not leaving with her.
"Hey, Raven" Clarke smiles at her friend.
"Hey, Clarke!" Raven greets her back then looks at Lexa "Ok, see you guys tomorrow. Have a good night"
"Good night" Raven hears both Lexa and Clarke reply.
Clarke sits on the couch with Lexa "Are you feeling better?" but Lexa stands up as soon as Clarke does "Yeah" She shrugs going to her bedroom and Clarke follows her.
"You should have stayed, Lexa" Clarke says to her wife while taking off her clothes and Lexa gets on the bed.
"Well, I wasn't feeling really welcomed, Clarke!" Lexa says honestly.
"I know mom can be sometimes a little too much" Clarke replies.
"No! Clarke. It's not about your mom. I know how she is. It's about you, you could have said something" Lexa says with an accusing tone.
Clarke looks at her and takes a deep breath "I deserved it and you made me look like a fool" She whispers to herself while getting in their bed.
Silence settles between the two of them, a tense one but not for too long, Lexa is the one to break it "Are you mad that I went to the Ob without you?" Lexa asks looking at the ceiling not daring to look at Clarke.
"No, I just feel a little left out" Clarke breaths out.
Lexa looks at her wife then looks back at the ceiling "I…get this feeling from you that you're so proud to be with me and it makes me feel really safe" Lexa lets out a breath while Clarke looks at her with a smile. She lays on her side and wraps Lexa's waist looking adoringly at her then Lexa resumes "Safe, and loved. It's great" Clarke smiles at her.
"But lately, I haven't been feeling it" Lexa says drawing a frown on Clarke's face just like the one on her face.
Clarke takes her hand off Lexa's waist feeling like she's suffocating her wife the way Lexa keeps on taking deep breaths between each phrase while trying hard to express herself.
"So I've been trying to concentrate on myself and I'm trying to not get scared about it" Lexa explains with a pained voice.
Clarke is speechless, she doesn't know what to say. Lexa is right, things are different between the two of them. She tries to think about something to say that may help but she can't and when she sees Lexa turns off the light of her table lamp and turns her back to her she understands that Lexa is not receptive for any talk right now.
