Hibari didn't really get headaches or sudden flashbacks. No, he wasn't some herbivore who would quiver at the thought of his past (not that Tsuna was an herbivore…though he was an omnivore at best). And he was past the point where he had accepted it, he was just waiting for it all to flood back. It was far more of an annoyance having to wait and fill the holes of his memories. He'd rather know all he needed to about himself and his sunshine.

But the times the holes were filled, it was just as…disorienting as Tsuna had told him. Some days his face didn't feel exactly right. His eyes were too sharp and his hair too short and flat. Some days his mother felt too distant and her eyes were too cold. Some days the word "father" or "brother" would be on the tip of his tongue, but he had to swallow it. In this life, he had neither of those things, and it was foolish of him to crave the things he couldn't and would never have.

It was a weakness, and he hated even the idea of being weak.

No, he only allowed himself one weakness, and at the moment, that was his sunshine, Tsuna. That meant making sure his friends and that stupid baby wasn't hurting him, that he was quickly ushered away from others when a flashback hit him during school (after the "Incident" Hibari made sure to keep a sharper eye on Tsuna and his random flashbacks, especially when he was in classes where teachers dislike him), he even joined Tsuna on walks home every once in a while. Of course, they were never alone, Tsuna's "friends," the baseball fanatic and the scowling smoker, seemed to always be around him, not to mention that infuriating baby. Plus, he hated crowding, but it was only three others and despite the three of them being annoying, he could survive it for Tsuna.

Hibari was walking with Tsuna and his friends again, right next to Tsuna while the smoker was on his other side, flashing him a scowl every few minutes only to his expression to completely do a 180 when Tsuna talked to him. Though Hibari knew it was possibly nothing except awe – his sunshine had a knack for pulling people in, in the past and now – but it still caused an ugly feeling in his chest. The same feeling when he could remember a long-haired girl who had fawned over his sunshine in their past.

"Hibari?" Tsuna turned to him, and he focused to him instead of his dwelling thoughts, looking in his eyes. They weren't the same blue he was used to in his memories, but they were definitely a very pretty light brown. He gave him a shy smile, glancing a Gokudera and Yamamoto who were in the midst of their own conversation, before saying in a low voice, "Would you like to come over for a bit? If you're not busy?"

"Yes." He said briefly, knowing Tsuna didn't take offence with the curt answer by the way he smiled so familiarly.

They left Gokudera and Yamamoto behind on the way to Tsuna's house – and Tsuna hesitated slightly as he greeted his mother and the other child house guests (How Tsuna had gotten two children to somehow start living with him was beyond him) before heading upstairs with Hibari. He noted, with the way that he was careful around the house and hesitant, seeming almost confused, he was having a disorienting day.

Tsuna sat on his bed instead of the floor, like he usually does with other guests on a normal day - and Hibari followed, close enough that their thighs were touching. The baby was nowhere in sight, so he didn't hesitate to lean on the smaller male. The warmth felt familiar and Tsuna didn't move, so he figured it was fine.

"Sorry about asking you to come on short notice." Tsuna said, sheepishly. "I was kind of…I don't know. I felt like you were too far from me all the time I guess…" Hibari pretended not to notice the red in his cheeks or how his body heat raised.

"…don't worry about it. I get that feeling sometimes too." He was downplaying it a bit. The pull he felt towards Tsuna was so strong he couldn't ignore it at times. He could see the way Tsuna smiled, and a part of him wished they were laying down so he could hear his heart beat. Perhaps his heart was skipping beats like his was.

"I-I thought I was the only one…" Tsuna laughed sheepishly as he looked away. His hair tickled his nose. It was wild but soft. "So, um…have you gotten any memories lately?"

"Not really. Have you?"

He hummed. "I don't know if it really counts…but there was one, today."

"When was this?" He looked up, alarmed and worried, but he didn't let it show on his face. Tsuna seemed to see, because he patted his leg, chuckling with a familiar tone.

"Done worry about it. It wasn't big. It was pretty funny actually."

"Care to share?" He went back to his comfortable position leaning on Tsuna.

"Well…it was back at the…Academy. No, we had just graduated. I got my headband and I was excited because…I was finally officially a…" He paused, shaking his head, his eyes had a distant look to them. Hibari almost thought his eyes had a blue to it, but that was probably his imagination. "Anyway, I was sitting next to you in the classroom and…she had walked in. She started flirting with you and a whole mass of girls came over wanting to sit by you."

It felt familiar. Hibari closed his eyes, the images came easily. Tsuna's past-self watching the girls fawn over him – none of which he cared for.

"Then…I think I…tried to fight you…then um…we were close and…I was bumped into…" Tsuna trailed off. Despite saying the situation was funny earlier, he seemed embarrassed now, his face was red.

Hibari easily remembered what he was talking about, and pretended like his own body wasn't heating up as well. "…I see."

"Y-Yeah…" He glanced at him, then slightly down his face before looking away, embarrassment obvious on his face. "…let's chance subjects."

"Yeah." He cleared his throat, pulling away from being so close so it wouldn't be so…awkward. Though, he couldn't help but glance in Tsuna's direction, only to find he was doing the same and they both looked away again.

The memory of the…accidental kiss was…perhaps too much, even if the way they reacted back then wasn't…really how Hibari knew he would react now.

It was silent for a moment as they both tried to cool off, before Tsuna spoke up again. "Hibari…have you ever gotten any scary memories?"

"I guess." He answered smoothly. "I'm sure you find a lot scary."

His sunshine pouted. It was adorable. "Don't make fun of me. I was just…wondering." He deflated and turned away. "I guess…I can't imagine you shivering and crying after a memory like…I do." He winced. It was easy to see what he was thinking.

"You're not pathetic." Hibari spoke up, ignore the small yelp the other let out. "Some of the memories are heavy. They're put on you even if you can't handle it yet. It's not surprising."

"…oh." He muttered and looked away. "…thanks, Hibari."

He let out a small grunt of acknowledgement. Tsuna snickered.

"Well that takes me back Mister hn."

Hibari let out another grunt again, once again ignoring how his body and face heated up at the laugh Tsuna let out.

"Hiba-"

"Ciaossu."

Hibari narrowed his eyes and scowled as Tsuna let out another yelp. "R-Reborn! How long were you –?"

"If you didn't notice me you need more training Tsuna." Reborn interrupted. Hibari stood. He wouldn't be able to talk to Tsuna properly with the baby here. He was too annoying and they were trying to keep the past a secret. It was hard to do when they were so relaxed around each other.

"…I'll see you later Tsuna." He announced, heading towards the window, already opening it to climb out.

"Ah…alright. I'll see you tomorrow then."

He glanced back and nodded before jumping down, smirking at Tsuna's yelp, followed by a call asking if he was alright. He turned to give him a smirk before heading home.

That night wasn't his night.

Perhaps it was the way his mother coldly regarded him with hateful eyes when he entered the house, maybe it was his ripped curtains or the way beer bottles were left on the floor in slightly different places. But Hibari had found himself having what he didn't usually have. A nightmare.

He was trapped in a young body that was his but wasn't his at the same time. There were people around him. Too many people. And they dropped like flies one by one in the red and black world. He sobbed, he was desperate, he wanted it to stop. He wanted him to stop killing. Why was he hurting everyone? Why was he killing everyone he loved?!

A sword raised and two fell. He stared in horror, unable to do anything as tears streamed down his face – betrayal, sorrow and pure anguish hit him all at once.

"MOTHER! FATHER! BROTHER NO!"

Hibari's eyes shot open and he sat up, putting a hand over his mouth to stop the scream that was about to rip from his throat. Wetness poured down his face that he couldn't stop. He was shaking, and he could hardly breathe.

He hated that nightmare.

He hated crowding.

He waited for the shaking to die down a bit before he finally climbed out of bed and, with somewhat shaking hands, he slipped some clothes on. He didn't even bother to grab his tonfa as he opened his window and left the house. His sorry excuse of a mother (the image of his mother was jumbled between a tall, intimidating woman and a kind, smiling woman, dead on the ground, covered in her own blood… He had to push the thought away, he could feel panic start to rise again) wouldn't notice he was gone for a couple of days. He could sneak away for one, go to his hiding spot and wait until morning for school.

Instead of his usual hiding spot, though, he found himself in front of Tsuna's house.

He stared at the building before he walked through the gate, climbed up to Tsuna's window and opened it. He silently berated Tsuna for not leaving it locked, and checked to see if the baby was there. He wasn't. Odd. He was sure out of the corner of his eye…

No matter, he was only focused on Tsuna at the moment.

He silently walked over and shook the boy awake. He was as deep a sleeper in his past, but it didn't take long until he was roused from his slumber.

"Hm…Hibari? Is this a dream again…?" He muttered in surprise before glancing at his clothes – a regular t shirt and sweatpants. "…weird. You're not wearing your school uniform like usual though…"

"Because this isn't a dream, idiot." He tried to keep his voice level, though it was hard as panic was still in his chest and stomach. "…can I stay here for the night?" He whispered.

Tsuna rubbed his eyes, staring at him for a moment, before he suddenly seemed worried and scooted over. "…yeah. It's not a lot of room but…"

Hibari had climbed in anyway, instantly calming as soon as he was near the familiar heat. They shared a pillow, and in the moonlight Tsuna's eyes were so pretty.

"…if you need anything, you can always come to me, you know." Tsuna whispered before closing his eyes, soon asleep.

Hibari let out another grunt, closing his eyes as well and moving a bit closer, feeling calmer just by being in the presence of the other male.

He had a dream of sunshine and a warm smile.

O~O~O

Reborn hummed to himself as he watched the two from his hiding spot in the shadows, both surprised and intrigued by this…relationship they had.

Perhaps he should try to confront Tsuna soon about this…it was progressing more than he thought.