This is the sequel I was warning you about…and by its nature, it's AU, because Joe is still dead. Other than that, I don't think you need to have read 'Living on a Prayer' for it to make sense.

Thank you very much for your kind reviews and suggestions, if I neglected to thank you individually, I appreciate each end every form of feedback.

A big huggy Thank You to Stayce who made time to help me and edit! You da best!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to JE, the title belongs to Bon Jovi


Keep the Faith

Chapter 4

The hand on my shoulder was such a familiar gesture that I smiled. But where Ranger's hand was always warm, its heat seeping into me, this hand was cold and unyielding. I froze when I saw Lester reach for his gun, and when I turned my head a little, I saw a tall figure standing beside me, a man, wearing a black sports coat. But my muscles wouldn't obey me enough to make me lift my eyes to see the man's face.

"Now, now," he said, and there was something menacing in his voice, even in those few words.

"We don't want Miss Plum to panic. There's no need for violence." I felt something poke into my side and immediately knew why Lester didn't draw. And the voice sounded familiar now.

"Is there, Miss Plum?" He intensified the pressure on my shoulder and I slouched involuntarily. The paralysis slowly eased up, starting with my brain. Who was this guy? And who else was with him, I could see Lester scanning the room behind me, a worried look on his face.

"We're gonna have a nice talk outside so we don't disturb the other patrons." Suddenly I recognized the voice. Mario Guzzarella. Shit!

"I don't think so," Lester cut in. I was sure he didn't know who he was dealing with.

"It's okay, Les," I said, trying to sound calm as I slowly got up. This was my mess; I didn't want Lester to get hurt trying to clean it up.

"Steph, sit down," Lester instructed through clenched teeth, his eyes never leaving Guzzarella. The gun was pressed into my side a little harder. If I hadn't been so scared, I'm sure the situation would have seemed funny to me, with the 'Get up' – 'Sit down' routine. If only it hadn't been so serious.

Sure, Guzzarella and his goons had come on a little strong, but they just wanted to talk. I'd be fine. I just needed Lester to understand, because I didn't think his interruptions were helping. Maybe if he understood, it would convince me, too.

I looked at Lester until his eyes found mine. "It's okay, Lester. We have something to discuss. I'll be right back." I was hoping my voice sounded even and Lester got the message I was trying to send him 'Wait here for me. It's okay.'

Lester shook his head almost imperceptibly and I remembered something a Merry Man had once told me. That's they'd rather get hurt than tell Ranger they had lost me. If that's what Lester was thinking now, he would get hurt.

Lester's face was unreadable. I took a deep breath and slowly turned, making sure I stood between Lester and the goons, since I knew neither of them would shoot at me.

Lester grunted in frustration and I finally looked up. Guzzarella was tall, at least 6'3" with slicked-back black hair and almost black eyes. He looked like all movie mafiosos were modeled after him. His eyes were steel-cold, pretty hard to manage with brown eyes. He was wearing a black sports coat and dress slacks. The coat bulged on one side, so he had at least one more weapon, since one of his guns was still pointed at me. The idea of a smile showed on his face before he nodded to the two bodyguard-type men behind him.

I mentally cracked my knuckles as I willed my feet to move forward. I was still afraid Lester would try something heroic. That thought led to the question if I could be heroic and I realized I was totally unarmed. No gun, no pepper spray, nothing. But I'd managed to grab my shoulder bag and if I remembered correctly, I had my hair spray in it, and I was pretty good with a spray can.

Of course the last time I tried it, a psycho had tried to attack me in the bathroom I'd been in and he hadn't cared much about hairspray in his eyes. But it made me feel better to think I had something when I followed the two thugs out.

Guzzarella was half a step behind me, his arm around me to hide the gun still pushed into my side. There were plenty of other patrons, but they were either drunk or didn't care, crime in Shorty's wasn't exactly unheard of.

I heard the movement shortly before Guzzarella turned towards it. It was one of those moments that take about two seconds yet seem to pass in slow motion. I knew without looking that Lester was behind us.

Guzzarella raised his gun, and I didn't know if he was the kind of thug that tried to intimidate with it or shot first and asked questions later. All conversation stopped and suddenly the background music seemed way too loud.

"Hey!" Someone shouted, maybe to distract Lester and Guzzarella from their respective targets, although I was only guessing that Lester was pointing his gun, my eyes were fixed on Guzzarella.

I knew why the goons had cornered me and wanted to 'talk' to me outside, Lester didn't. And he didn't deserve to get hurt because of my naiveté, I decided.

I acted before I could change my mind, bumping into Guzzarella with all my strength, making him lose his footing. He stumbled a step and shot. Probably he'd started pulling the trigger the moment I shoved him.

I lost my balance as well and landed on the floor hard, banging my elbow painfully. I was immediately lifted up by one of the broad-shouldered thugs Guzzarella had brought with him. All around us people were scrambling to get out, experience probably telling them more shots were likely. I tried to find Lester in the commotion to make sure he was okay, but I couldn't see him through all the people.

I was half dragged, half carried to the front door and craned my neck until I saw him. Lester was on the floor and he wasn't moving. I yelled his name and thought I saw him move his hand as if to wave, but the doors closed behind us before I could see if he was okay.

I tried to dig my heels in and resist, yelling "Is he okay?", but both guys were a lot bigger and a lot stronger than I was, they carried me down the front steps with little effort.

The thug on my right remoted a Towncar open and Thug #2 opened the back door for me. I wasn't shoved inside though, they let me go to climb in myself. I figured the doors were locked from the inside, so I didn't give them the satisfaction of trying to get out while they walked to the front. A dark-tinted window separated the back seat from the front seats. The engine started just as the door on my left was yanked open and Guzzarella sat down next to me. His presence alone let the temperature drop 20 degrees. He had this creepy air about him that made you cross the street if you saw him approach. This man was pure evil, I had no doubt he found pleasure in killing.

The car started moving and Guzzarella turned to me, wearing an icy smile. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, Miss Plum. Probably you didn't get my message yesterday?" He raised an eyebrow. We both knew I'd gotten his message.

"It is unfortunate that Mister Santos did not heed your advice," Guzzarella continued conversationally, as if we were discussing the weather. I knew I was showing the enemy my weakness, but I didn't have the Merry Men's ability to hide my feelings. "Is he okay?" I asked.

Guzzarella waved me off. "Let's not dwell on that, Miss Plum. I am willing to start over after this incident."

Now I had a choice. I could play along or at least pretend to, or I could start a fight, demanding to know what had happened to Lester and to be let out of the car immediately.

While fighting would keep my pride intact, there was no telling what Guzzarella or his men would do to me. Best-case scenario would probably be for them to just ignore me and still drive to the destination. No, I decided, I had to pretend.

I took a deep breath and forced my hands to relax, I'd clenched them so tightly that my fingernails were digging into my palms.

"Okay," I was proud of how almost normal my voice sounded, "Then I believe you should introduce yourself and your associates first."

He looked at me for a moment, maybe trying to assess my sincerity, maybe questioning my sanity. I know I was questioning my sanity.

"I don't think that will be necessary," he said finally. There went my choice of topic, I didn't know what else to say. I looked outside to try to determine where we were going. At least we were still in Trenton, it didn't look like we were going to the landfill. 'Stop it,' I thought, 'you're being over dramatic. It's a talk! Nothing's gonna happen!' I was willing to believe that, except another voice spoke up asking why we were driving at all, why we didn't just talk in the parked car outside of Shorty's if it was just a talk. We rode in silence for a long time, stopping at stop lights, obeying the speed limit.

"Where are we going?" I asked when that nagging voice had won. Guzzarella shook his head slightly. "I thought we had agreed to a lunch date? Mr. Garibaldi graciously agreed to a later meal to accommodate the schedule change."

Mr. Who? I hoped he meant Harry the Hammer. I'd never really known his last name, though I'd been sure it wasn't 'Hammer'. Only one way to find out…

"And did Harry agree to let you use violence to get me to the meeting?" I asked. Again I got the blank look. Probably I was supposed to be a lot more scared, but I was angry by now. Who did this guy think he was?

The car stopped with a sudden thud and I was catapulted against the dividing window. I banged into it with the side of my head and the impact threw me back into my seat and left my ears ringing.

I heard the front passenger door open and Thug #1 got out. "What the fuck?" Guzzarella yelled next to me and banged his fist against the divide.

Before the driver got out my door was yanked open and I screamed before I recognized Tank. He grabbed me by the collar of my jacket with one hand and pointed his gun at Guzzarella with the other before pulling me out of the car.

I slammed into his chest and lost my footing, but he held me up with both hands, dragging me away. "Come on," he said needlessly. Bobby had taken over at the door, looking mean and pointing his gun. Thug #1 was spread over the hood from the side, out like a light.

Now I saw what had caused the sudden stop: A RangeMan SUV was blocking the way, they must have cut off the Towncar.

I was getting tired of being dragged, but I didn't complain because this time, I was dragged away from the alleged bad guys. Tank took me to a second SUV and opened the passenger door for me, Junior was in the driver's seat.

"Go," Tank just said and shut the door. It wasn't until we'd pulled away from the curb and Junior had threaded the SUV into traffic that I was able to speak again. "What just happened?" my voice sounded shrill.

We passed the accident and all I could see was Tank with his arms crossed over his chest and Guzzarella gesturing wildly.

"They're waiting for the traffic cops," Junior explained. "No, I mean…before, how did you find me?"

Junior cut his eyes to me. "Lester called in the code red. We tracked your cell phone."

"Yeah but…" I slumped back in my seat and closed my eyes, trying to think around the pounding headache that was developing in my head. My questions would have to wait until I could think straight again.

I pressed my fingers against my temples and took a few deep breaths. That just made me nauseous though, so I stopped.

"You okay?" Junior wanted to know. I scoffed. If only he knew how wild my answer to that could be…I settled for "I'm fine." I opened my eyes and everything started spinning.

"Can you just take me home, please?" Junior didn't respond. I figured he'd gone into his driving zone so I reached out and touched his arm. "Junior?"

"Negative, Steph, I have orders to take you back to RangeMan."

"Orders from whom? Tank?" Again, he cut his eyes to me for a spit second before focusing on the road again. "The boss," he said. The boss was Ranger. Had Lester called him? Did he try to call me?

I peeled my shoulder bag away from my body and searched for my cell phone. When I finally found it, I realized its battery had died. I sighed and slumped back again. "You okay?" Junior asked again and I almost rolled my eyes. But it wasn't fair to be angry with him; he really had nothing to do with anything.

Lester had meant well when he sent the team after me. For all he knew, I was being kidnapped. It was my fault for not telling them. With my luck, I'd just put all the involved Merry Men on some mafia hit list.

My head hurt really bad now and thinking made it worse. I tried to just imagine colorful lights or something, but then Ranger's face appeared before my inner eye and I frowned as the voices started a conversation in my head. 'See how much he cared? He sent a team after you!' – 'That was Lester, not Ranger and I didn't see Ranger among the men who got you out of the car.'

I tried to tune them out, hearing voices did not make me feel better about my mental status.

Junior stayed in his 'zone' for the rest of the drive, so we were quiet until we pulled into the RangeMan garage. He avoided looking at me as he got out of the car and walked around it to open the door for me, even when he helped me get out and took my shoulder bag from me. Although it was entirely possible that I was just paranoid at that point.

We walked side by side to the elevators after I'd assured him I could walk just fine. I just wanted about ten aspirins and my bed. And I figured if I solved any of my dilemmas instead of just adding to them, I'd feel even better.

I frowned when Junior hit the 4 button when the elevator doors closed. "You better lay down. No more work for you today." Going back to my desk had been the furthest thing from my mind actually, I just wanted to go up to Ranger's apartment to lie down. But Junior hadn't asked where I wanted to go, and when the doors slid open, he led my by my elbow down the hallway.

The fourth floor was where some of the Merry Men had their studio apartments, but not all apartments were occupied.

I stopped. "You know, I think I'm just gonna lie down upstairs," I said and turned to go. Now Junior was definitely avoiding looking at me, he was suddenly interested in his shoes.

"Orders are to have you checked out first…" He gestured towards the end of the hallway. I knew there was a makeshift infirmary in one of the apartments, really just a roomy first aid station. RangeMan didn't keep doctors or nurses on staff.

When Junior finally looked up the confusion must have been written on my face, because he hurriedly explained the doctor RangeMan frequently used was brought in for me. I smiled. My fear of hospitals was so legendary that I got my own private doctor now.

I let Junior take me by the elbow again and lead me to the apartment at the end of the hall.

The door opened before we had reached it and Dr. Mahoney stuck his head out. I remembered him from the time he stitched up my elbow after a takedown that didn't go as smoothly as planned.

"Stephanie," he greeted me, "so good to see you again. How're you feeling? I hear were in an accident?" He took my arm and nodded at Junior, excusing him. Junior left and shut the door behind me.

Dr. Mahoney was 'out of uniform'; he wasn't wearing his white coat, just a light blue Oxford shirt and gray slacks. He was in his 40's; give or take, and his blue eyes always sparkled friendly and somehow made me trust him.

He took my vitals first and was concerned about my blood pressure, apparently it was really high, but I forgot the numbers he told me. He then shone a light in my eyes, turned my head, and did all the things I was used to, since I banged my head a lot.

When he was done he told me my head looked okay from what he could tell without an MRI and that I should call him if the headache or the dizziness didn't stop. The he gave me a shot that he said would calm my blood pressure down and asked me to stay on the cod for a few minutes until he was sure I didn't have any reactions from it.

I leaned back and closed my eyes, and suddenly I felt very tired. I guess my body had used up all is adrenaline and all that was left was exhaustion. Since Dr. Mahoney had asked me to stay anyway, I didn't fight to stay awake.

When I woke up, I was no longer in the first aid room. I was lying on an unknown bed in a room I didn't recognize. I turned and my head began to pound again. Rats.

It was dark except for some light that shone in from the street, but now I was able to see I was on the bed in one of the studio apartments. Probably I'd fallen asleep and Dr. Mahoney had carried me here.

Probably he didn't have a key for the 7th floor and didn't want to interrupt the guys. I looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table. It was a quarter past eight and I wondered how long I'd been sleeping. Lester and I had left RangeMan at a quarter to four…it couldn't have been later than five when I'd been escorted out of Shorty's.

At least the dizziness seemed to have passed. Other than the headache, I felt fine.

A movement caught my eye; a figure got up from the kitchen table and walked over to me. My heart jumped in my chest, and I almost cried out in relief.

All I could see was his silhouette, but I'd know Ranger anywhere. "Hi," I said, my voice croaky.

He sat down on the bed next to me. "Hi."

"What happened?" I wanted to know. What I meant was, what was he doing back in Trenton and why had I slept for hours, but I was sure he'd understand.

No emotion showed on Ranger's face. "You tell me," he said. Not so much with the understanding me then. He took a water glass and pills from the bedside table. "How're you feeling? Does your head still hurt?" He offered me the Advil and the glass and I sat up and took them gratefully.

"I meant, what are you doing here," I explained when I had washed down the pills,"Tank said you were in Boston."

"I was," he said and took the glass from my hands. Okay, was he trying to irritate me? He knew that, on a good day, I wasn't a fan of his 2-word answers. And I was nowhere near a good day.

I raised my eyebrows, my eyes boring into his. I could do the silent question thing, too.

Ranger shook his head slightly and blew out some air. "I got on the first plane after Tank's call. Now, can you tell me what's going on?"

Oh, this was priceless. I didn't even know where my sudden anger came from, but I felt very close to exploding.

"I tried, remember?" I still had my eyebrows raised. "You walked out to go to a 'meeting', neglecting to tell me it was in Boston." There, I thought. He better not play the 'You got some 'splaining to do' game with me!

"I'm sorry," he said softly and lowered his eyes. Now that was just unfair. He knew I couldn't stay mad when he apologized. 'Sorry' and 'Please' were my absolute weakness, whenever Ranger said either one of them, I'd melt. Except there'd been this undertone in his voice and he was still sitting on the edge of the bed, he hadn't even tried to touch me. I frowned. "What's wrong?"

Ranger shook his head almost imperceptibly but still didn't look up.

"Ranger?" I reached over to touch his hand and he shifted his gaze to our hands on the bed sheet. The first tendrils of an uncomfortable feeling started fluttering in my belly, and it had nothing to do with my accident earlier or the lingering headache. Something was wrong.

Well, maybe not wrong, but definitely off. Ranger was always linear, the lack of words didn't concern me as much as the way he said what little he did.

"What's wrong?" I tried again. Finally, his eyes met mine. He lifted his hand and tucked a stray curl behind my ear.

"I'm gonna be in Boston all week, I just came back to make sure you're alright," he said. There was still this undertone in his voice that I couldn't place because I didn't remember ever hearing it before.

"Why didn't you tell me?" At the risk of sounding needy, I had to ask. Ranger let his hand drop and took a deep breath.

"I only scheduled it this morning. Steph…" he broke off as if searching for the right words. I bit my lip so I wouldn't interrupt him.

"What happened last night…" he began, and now he was looking past me, into space. "I didn't mean to spray you," I hurried to say, although I was pretty sure that's not what he meant at all. He laughed softly and squeezed my shoulder.

"I know, querida." He rested his hand on my collarbone and ran his thumb over my cheek. "That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about my reaction. I…" he took another deep breath, "I did what I vowed I would never do. I hurt you."

"What?" I asked eloquently. I didn't know what he was tlaking about. "When did you hurt me? If you're talking about in bed…" He shook his head and held up his hand to let him finish.

"No. I'm talking about shoving you into the dining table." My eyes widened so far it hurt. "Ranger, I…" I started, but when he pulled his hand away and quickly got up I stopped.

"I knew something like that could happen. That's why I never…before you…that's why my life doesn't lend itself to relationships." He was walking while he talked until he stood back in the kitchen. I scoffed. He wasn't making any sense, and I wasn't going to let him get away with it. "I'd say the last six months pretty much proved you wrong there."

He was deep in shadow now so I couldn't see his expression, but his voice was flat when he said, "That's what I thought, too."

I threw my legs over the corner of the bed and got up. I hadn't been thinking about how long I'd been lying though and quickly took a step to keep my balance.

Ranger was by my side in two strides. He put his arm around my waist and nudged me back onto the bed. "Don't get up," he said. "You still need to rest."

I laughed humorlessly. "If I understand you correctly, you just broke up with me. And you want me to rest??"

Ranger squatted down in front of me, taking my hands. "Don't think that, Babe, please. I'm not breaking up with you! I love you."

"Then what?" I asked, my volume rising. "What are you saying then? We're gonna continue our relationship as a non-relationship because you don't do relationships?" I had to bite my lip to fight the tears back. I couldn't cry now, I'd end up a sobbing mess. Ranger grunted in frustration.

"I'm saying we're gonna take a break for a while. Babe, I learned I can't trust myself around you. If I can't trust me how can I ask you to?" I could read the pain in his eyes now and it hurt me to see it. It was rare for Ranger to show emotion like that. But I just couldn't understand his logic.

"I do trust you," I said, tears now running freely down my cheeks. I was unable to fight them anymore. I cupped a side of Ranger's face in my hand. "I do, with all my heart."

Ranger shook his head again and lowered his eyes. When he looked back up at me, his eyes were expressionless again. His blank face. ""Don't make this any harder on us, Steph. It's the way it's got to be. I tried. I really did. Because I love you. But sometimes, that's not enough."

He wiped my tears away with his thumb. "Never doubt that I love you."

He moved to stand and I quickly grabbed his hands. "Ranger, you didn't hurt me! Look at me, I'm fine!"

"This time," Ranger said in his flat voice again. "Maybe next time you won't be so lucky. I tried to excuse it with still being in the mission mindset, but that didn't hold up. I was trained to know the difference between good and bad, it's what I do." He blew out a huff of air like a big sigh.

"I spent all day trying to find an alternative. There is none. I'm gonna be in Boston this week, and after that, I may be in Miami for a while." He wasn't looking at me while he said this. New tears ran down my face and I swiped at them impatiently.

"Don't I get a say in this?" I asked. I didn't have the strength left to yell or gesture, I wasn't mad at him anymore. I just wanted him to see our relationship for what it was. Not perfect, because no relationship ever is, but pretty damned close to.

Ranger nodded. "I should have told you this morning, we could have talked it over. But I didn't…I couldn't…I wasn't able to put it into words then." He gently placed my hands into my lap. "Right now, I despise myself for what I've done to you. I need some time. I would've stayed in Boston but tank said you were hurt."

I nodded although it still didn't make sense. Except he was right about one thing, now he'd really hurt me. Not with his fists, but with his words. Something inside me broke at his words. I'd trusted him with my life, pretty much ever since I'd met him. And now he said he didn't deserve my trust. Who the hell made him judge and jury of my feelings? How was it that he got to decide what I felt? "And I will get hurt again. Are you gonna come running every time to make sure I'm okay and then leave again?"

It had come out snippier than I had intended and Ranger's eyes widened minimally but he didn't come back down to my eye level. He straightened. "It's the way it got to be, Babe. I'm sorry. This doesn't change anything about your job or your privileges though. Get some rest." He leaned down and kissed my forehead, running his hands through my hair. "I told you r mom she'll have Bob overnight."

I was numb. There were a million things I wanted to say, but I couldn't utter a word. My job. Who gave a fuck about my job? It was just about the last thing on my mind. I wanted to tell Ranger to stay, to talk to me, to sit down next to me, to hold me. Instead, I just watched as he turned and left. When the front door clicked shut, I just sat and stared at it.

"You never hurt me until just now," I whispered into the empty room.

A dream, I decided. It was a dream or a hallucination or something like that. I'd hit my head harder than I'd thought and I was now in a coma, making up shit. And it just figured that I couldn't even make up happy fantasies but was conjuring up just about the most painful confrontation I could imagine.

And if I was honest, the dream theory was the only thing that made sense. Ranger wouldn't just leave. He'd want to know what had happened and wouldn't let up until I'd told about him all about Harry the Hammer and Guzzarella.

Except when I slumped back onto the bed, I knew it wasn't a dream. The pain in my head was nothing compared to the pain I felt in my chest. It was hard to draw every breath.

I knew when I'd felt like that before. How could I've let this happen? How could I've been so reckless to let Ranger into my life to a point where he could hurt me so much?

TBC


A/N: I'd be honored if you found the time to read and review when you're done devouring LMT. What do you think Steph should do? Fight for Ranger? Leave with her pride intact?