A/N: Ok, quick authors note. Before anyone starts to point out the fact that Alucard and the other canon characters are OOC, it's been almost a year since I watched the HP movies and Hellsing anime. I am basing Alucard off of what I remember and the Abridged version of the show, which is hilarious. As for the HP characters, they are acting how I remember. Other than that I hope you enjoy.


Demon woke up to a soft tapping on the lid of her coffin. "Time to get up," Alucard said with a wicked laugh as he lifted the lid.

"It's too early," she whined as she turned over and buried her face into the pillow. Without a word Alucard picked her up and quickly ran to the private bath they had and tossed her into the bathing-pool. When she surfaced she spit out the water she had accidentally inhaled and glared at her mate, who was cackling like a maniac. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" she screeched as she got out of the pool.

"You needed to get up," he said between his bouts of laughter. She glared at him before pushing him into the pool and leaving to get dried off and changed out of her wet nightgown. She quickly dried off and pulled out the clothes she would wear. She pulled on a pair of black jeans and a black halter top. She then brushed her hair and slipped on her black steel-toed combat boots that had blessed silver blades hidden within.

She grabbed her leather jacket and pulled it on as she left to the dinning hall. Dumbledore had convinced them to attend the meals even though they would never eat by saying that it was a giveaway that they weren't normal if they never showed. She sighed as Alucard came up beside her and snaked a protective and possessive arm around her waist. "What now? Gonna throw me in the bath again?"

"No," Alucard said with a genuine smile which made her worry a little. He rarely gave genuine smiles. Sinister ones he did all the time, but genuine smiles were a cause for worry. This was very abnormal and weird.

"What do you have planned and don't say nothing because I know you all too well to believe that for even a millisecond."

Alucard chuckled at that but kept his mouth shut and continued walking. He did have something planned but not what she was thinking.

Harry, Ron and Hermione sat in their usual seats at the Gryffindor table eating breakfast and reviewing their class schedule for that day. Ron groaned as he noticed that they had double potions with Snape followed by double defense against the dark arts. Hermione was about to say something when two owls swept into the great hall and dropped their letters in front of Alucard and Demon. She took notice how Demon passed a quick glare at her husband before picking up her letter and opening it.

It came alive and said: Mistress Demon, Before Alucard opens his letter I highly suggest plugging your ears after punching him. Walter.

After the letter finished speaking it returned to normal and landed in front of her. "What did you do?" she asked, now facing him fully.

"Nothing," he said with a wicked smile. Not believing him she snatched the letter in front of him and opened it.

"ALUCARD!" it shouted, causing the great hall to fall silent as Integra's voice filled the hall. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?" Alucard started laughing while Demon glared at him. "I told you specifically to behave yourself. So why, pray tell, did you pour syrup on the steps, hide my cigars, put a viper in Seras' bed and, on top of everything else, hide speaker throughout the building and have them blare a remixed version of the Barbie Girl Song every five minutes." The letter then paused and turned to Demon. "And Demon, you were supposed to make sure he didn't do anything like that." After that the letter ripped itself up into pieces as Alucard started to laugh harder.

Demon stood up and smacked Alucard on the back of the head before leaving.

'This was going to be a long, interesting year,' Harry thought as he continued to stare at the insane professor.


A/N: The remixed version of the Barbie Girl song I'm referring to is the Gay Barbie Song. Anyways, hope you enjoyed.