Edit, 7/4/12: Okay, so I might as well just edit a chapter a month at the rate I'm going. Whatever. Ignore the A/N below as well, please... You know, I really should just delete the author's notes, because this is basically making you read two of them. If you're reading this. But the A/Ns are like, reminders of me when I was stupider, so I'd like to keep them for sentimentality. Besides, they get better as the story progresses. They aren't so long anymore :)
Once again, anything in the a/n about previous chapters is unnecessary, as I've edited chapter 3 already. And...this chapter is kinda awkward; I couldn't write or edit it very well, so sorry for the...awkwardness of terribly written chapters... -_- Also, I don't know if I've addressed this before, but ... yeah. This deviates from canon a lot. Seriously. Deidara was killed after Killer Bee was sealed, but he was still killed by Sasuke. Itachi and Sasuke's battle hasn't even happened yet. And so forth... (Don't ask how this plays into my story. It just does. xD *failed*)
Also...screw this I'm taking out the old A/Ns, or at least the ones that were horrible. There will be a new edit confirming this on the Prologue as well. Another change I've made is that the genres for this are now 'Suspense' and 'Adventure', as 'Angst' really wasn't appropriate.
Dark Angel: Insanity and Losing Hope
Though memories last forever, they come to a certain point where the meaning of the memory dies. –Anonymous Author
Hope never abandons you; you abandon it. –George Weinberg
It's a dark feeling, the feeling of sinking down and down and down.
The telltale feeling of slowly losing your grasp on sanity.
Naruto sat with his head in his hands, eyes focused on the floor. Yes, Uzumaki Naruto was slowly becoming insane, because of the simple fact that there was absolutely nothing…
...to do!
And not in the way that you might think: no, he was not bored; no, it was not the way little kids pestered their older siblings to play with them when they had nothing to do. It was in the way that fate had lowered its steel axe onto Naruto's shoulders and had forced him to realize something very important.
Naruto had killed almost all the most dangerous rogue shinobi he could think of!
Even when he reviewed it over and over in his head, that was the conclusion he came to. His faded copy of the bingo book had crossed out almost all the names in it, except for a select few, such as Uchiha Sasuke and Uchiha Itachi. The sole surviving Uchihas, he mused. He had graciously refrained from killing the two brothers just so they could destroy each other - it was only fitting, after all.
Naruto smoothed down a crossed-out page in his bingo book, contemplating his bitter fate. Something—maybe his subconsciousness—prompted him to look down. He turned the page, and saw with some surprise his own face staring back at him.
Oh. So he'd forgotten to tear his own page out of the bingo book.
Uh, oops.
Naruto smiled at his mistake—it was a relatively new book, because his old one had been abandoned at an old home after it was burned down by some katon-loving missing-nin—and moved to tear it out.
Something stopped him.
He leaned his head closer to examine the page in more detail.
Huh. They had a lot of info on him; maybe it was time to pay a visit to the people who made the bingo books…wait. Who did make them? Focus, Kyuubi reminded him. Naruto made a face.
To anyone who watched Naruto while he did his little 'inside-chat' things, it was very strange. A second of silence, then Naruto's reaction. Sometimes he forgot that he was talking to something inside his head and not outside. Once in a town, he'd gotten into an argument with the Nine-tails, getting worked up enough to shout "I WANT ORANGE FOR GOD'S SAKE!" in the middle of the shop.
Needlessly to say, he quickly left after that.
Naruto sighed and pressed his lips together before redirecting his eyes down to his bingo page, shaking his head at his former stupidity.
Missions: 30 completed.
Naruto frowned slightly. Only that little? As a missing-nin, that sucked. He checked Sasuke's page. Ha! Well, he shouldn't be talking! The bastard only had 16! Beat that!
11 D-rank, 9 C-rank, 4 B-rank, 6 A-rank, 0 S-rank.
Well, maybe not. How come someone's rank determined more then their skill? Village idiots, Kyuubi snorted. Naruto ignored him.
Murdered: None.
Ha!
The next lines sobered him, though.
Dead, body or head: 20,000 ryo.
Alive, injured or uninjured: 5,000,000,000 ryo.
Naruto stared at the book before shaking his head in mute disbelief. Uh-uh. No way. Last time he looked, he was only… Wait. He had never looked before. Why was his amount so high?
Why was the price for 'alive' so high?
The final line in the page answered his question.
Village: Konohagakure no Sato. Clan: Uzumaki. Age: 18. Reason for danger: Kyuubi no Youko's Jinchuuriki.
Reason for alive capture: Can be used as a weapon.
The last sentence (only six words but oh-so-devastating) were pushed into the tiny space like the author had added it at the last minute. A last thought - almost forgotten, but not quite.
Naruto's head fell with a thump back onto his bingo book. Ah, his life sucked.
A couple hours later, Naruto was still lying there, having dozed off. Only the sudden loud rumbling of his stomach brought him back to reality. "Huh?" Naruto looked around. His voice sounded unreasonably loud in the silence. That was one terrible thing about living alone; it was always so quiet. For someone who'd grown up surrounded by noise and in turn making his own great share of noise, the silence was unnerving.
Which was why Kyuubi sometimes was a good thing. When, during those first few months Naruto had left, the 'peace' and 'calm' had grown unbearable... Kyuubi had talked to him and gotten him through those dark times. Naruto wouldn't say he and the Nine-tails were friends by any means, since he still thought the demon had some evil plan hidden from him, but they were on more neutral terms now.
Meaning, they weren't against each other all the time, and sometimes during fights Naruto would let the Kyuubi come out if he was being helpful.
He knew that was a bad thing to do, but if he didn't, well, the fox would just take over anyway when Naruto was weak. And possibly go on a rampage against Konoha.
Hey, it was possible.
Naruto, grumbling under his breath, got up and started to heat up some water. He really wished he knew some fire jutsus so the water would be ready in an instant. His jutsu library consisted of a handful of water jutsus, two earth jutsus (the earth wall and dragon), no lightning, no fire, and a ton of wind.
He ate relatively quickly, pouring water into ramen cups while he devoured his current cup so he could eat the new ones as soon as he finished the old.
Couldn't you eat a rabbit or something? the demon fox complained from inside him. Naruto felt the fox huff angrily.
Stop doing that. It's weird. The Kyuubi smirked and laughed loudly, causing Naruto's ears to ring. I said stop it! Or else I'll keep you in your cage for two more months.
You wouldn't, the Kyuubi sneered. You need me.
It was at times like this that he really detested the Nine-tails and all its hidden, boiling poison. Most of the time, the demon at least kept up a pretense of friendliness, but when he let it drop - it revealed instantly the dark hatred and malice stirring beneath the friendly cover. Naruto still didn't understand why the fox even helped him in the first place if he despised his host so much.
Coming to a conclusion, Naruto decided that he wouldn't let the Kyuubi out for at least three weeks since he was being a bastard.
He finished eating, only to realize belatedly that that probably hadn't been the best idea, because now he was faced with his boredom again - and the grip of realization closed around him.
Yes, Naruto really believed he was slowly becoming insane, even if he masked it with his past personality most days. His past personality was the easiest to use... because it was the way he'd been for so long. He'd been loud and idiotic so often in his life that it required merely a tiny amount of energy to slip into the façade once more.
While now...Now, if any of his former friends saw him without his past personality as a mask, he would undoubtedly be unrecognizable. Naruto had changed, and with that change, came new goals, new ideas, new thought processes. New epiphanies - like the one he just had.
Why not the Akatsuki?
He knew it would be dangerous to seek them out like that, so openly. Still, wasn't that better than nothing? He mentally calculated how many were left alive, only to be bitterly disappointed.
Well.
Hoshigaki Kisame had been killed a year ago—this was mostly a rumor, but the Kyuubi assured him it was true (so how true does that make it?)—by the Eight-Tails; someone named 'Killer Bee'. Apparently, this Killer Bee guy had forced all of the remaining Akatsuki (which, back then, still had Deidara) into battle. And he'd killed Kisame, but in the end, even the Eight-Tails had fallen.
Naruto remembered killing Hidan and Kakuzu a while back along with some of his ex-teammates. He was getting better at referring to them as ex-teammates and not friends. At the beginning of this long trip into loneliness, Naruto had constantly wondered what his 'friends' were doing, even though the Kyuubi reminded him over and over: Ex-teammates! Once again, the sight of Sakura's eyes flooded his memory, and Naruto felt his lower lip jut out a bit. Sakura. Poor Sakura...
Would she believe him if he said he had never meant to hurt her? Never meant to hurt any of his - ex-teammates?
Probably. But then again, they didn't know who he was anymore; they didn't know how he had changed, as was proven right now as the new Naruto coldly calculated the deaths and chances of engaging the Akatsuki in battle without a care for his own life.
Orochimaru had been a part of the Akatsuki, but he was long dead, courtesy of Sasuke.
Sasori was killed by Lady Chiyo and Sakura.
Deidara had died facing Sasuke. Again, a rumor, but Naruto had confirmed it when he'd been caught in the after-blast of Deidara's suicide bombing. He'd been in the area looking for some missing-nin named Hozuki Suigetsu, who was also reportedly in possession of Zabuza's giant sword. And was also reportedly with Sasuke.
(Naruto's hands clenched. He would be lying if he said he hadn't been looking for Sasuke as well...but the time for trailing after his friend-brother-rival-enemy was long gone. There was no use in trying to catch up to Sasuke when he had already surpassed him in his own accomplishments. There was no point in watching Sasuke's back any longer...)
A pity about Deidara's death, anyhow. He'd wanted to fight Deidara for abusing Gaara like he had when Gaara died, if only out of a sense of dull honor rather than real friendship toward Suna's Kazekage.
So, who did this leave alive?
Madara, Itachi, Pein, Konan, and that creepy Venus-flytrap guy—
Zetsu.
And that creepy Venus-flytrap guy, Zetsu. Thank you for your input, Nine-tails.
Naruto began to grow more excited at this new hunting prospect. Before he knew it, he was pacing along the perimeter of his room. This would be so much fun! He could hone his skills against the Akatsuki, maybe leave a couple alive so he could play with them again… Huh. When did he start thinking like the Kyuubi?
It slightly disturbed him. But only slightly. And that disturbed him all the more.
Although, of course—his mind was distracted by the thought of the new prey again—it would have to wait till the Oto-nin passed by. He wanted to fight an Oto-nin and see if they were really any good, before going on to the Akatsuki. Bigger fish.
Let's see, who could he fight in the Akatsuki?
Not Itachi. Naruto was kind enough to leave that to Sasuke. He smirked. Although, within reason…Shouldn't Sasuke have killed Itachi by now if he was 'so strong'? Heh. He bet he was stronger than the bastard now. He couldn't wait for their battle of strengths to be put to test…soon. Soon.
Zetsu would put up a good fight, maybe, and his clones could fight Zetsu's clones. That would entertain him a bit. And Konan would be the next easiest to defeat, with all her origami stuff. Pein after that, and his Rinnegan. Finally, Madara. The oldest Uchiha ever.
I'm not so sure Madara would be the hardest to beat, the Kyuubi muttered. Naruto had a questioning look on his face. You look stupid, brat. Naruto scowled, annoyed at his 'nickname' and the fact that he always forgot that he was talking to something inside him. Stupid outside reactions.
Don't you remember that time Madara came looking?
Naruto grinned, the memories floating to the surface of his mind. Sorry, Sasuke, but Madara's fight takes the cake. Our fights had nothing on the one between Madara and me. The only bad thing was that he couldn't remember the fight very clearly, because despite severely injuring Madara, he had been near death afterwards. Only Kyuubi had brought him back, and that had made the fox tired out for a couple months afterwards.
At least Naruto had ripped off one of Madara's arms and scratched his Sharingan.
Yes, Naruto had actually somehow scratched his eyeball - at least, according to Kyuubi. It still gave him shudders to think about it afterwards. He'd been trying to gouge it out or something, but Madara had knocked his arm away before he could succeed. He made a face thinking about it. Hopefully Madara was suffering now. Naruto still had the scars from the fight.
If Naruto was brutally honest with himself (which he usually wasn't) he had no idea how he had won the fight against Madara. By all odds, he should be dead. This was the man who'd taken down so many of the jinchuuriki; the man who had basically killed his parents. How was he alive? Any way he approached the hazy mess of memories, the only conclusion he could come up with was this: he must've called on a lot of Kyuubi's power, so much that he'd almost lost consciousness entirely. That must be why he'd been able to defeat Madara; why he couldn't remember anything.
(The question is, can you defeat him again?)
Naruto groaned, rubbing his temple. At least his thinking had taken a couple of hours. "Bedtime now," he mumbled to himself, smiling bitterly when he vaguely recalled times where his life had been happier, more carefree. Times when, even if he didn't have a family to tuck him to bed, he had memories of Team 7's daily activities to comfort him - Team 7, which had been like his own surrogate family.
For the first time in a long while, Naruto fell asleep dreaming of scolding Sakuras, brooding Uchihas, and for some really weird reason, Kakashi and Jiraiya dancing on a table, singing praises about the Icha Icha Paradise series.
Naruto had an endless imagination. But everyone knows that all good things must come to an end, whether via death or other means.
He dreamed happy dreams before delving into the darker realm of his nightmares. Memories usually haunted him here, but nowadays, when he watched the nightmares unfold before him, it felt more like he was looking in on someone else's memories, even though the main character was obviously Naruto himself.
For, you see, the meaning of the memories had long since died.
"Gaara!" A blonde woman burst into his office. Sabaku no Gaara turned to look at his older sister, Temari, from beside the round window. She held up the scroll in her hand. "They've finished decoding the scroll from the Hokage." Gaara nodded, which translated into 'give it'. She tossed it over before settling into his Kazekage chair, utterly relaxed now that she was done with her mission and Gaara hadn't killed her yet for taking so long. It was a thing to be appreciated. Although, he would've been much more prone to killing people before Uzumaki Naruto. Temari frowned. She still couldn't believe that boy had had the guts to become a missing-nin!
Just. Like. That.
The nerve of that kid! She growled and Gaara turned to look at her. "Thinking about Uzumaki, aren't you."
It wasn't a question. Temari laughed a bit.
"Yeah. You know me, Gaara. Can't get over the fact that he just up and left. Oh and the minor problem that he keeps sending dead bodies." Her voice dripped sarcasm. Gaara gave her an onceover before turning back to the scroll. Sometimes Temari wondered how in the world Gaara could stand not talking for such a long time. He had been considerably quieter since the news of Naruto's departure came two years ago...and had been hurt for the first time in a very long time. Any way she went, the only conclusion she could come to was 'stupid Naruto'.
It wasn't like she hated Naruto or anything. Just... sometimes, he could be a little rash. Just a little. But then there was—
"Yo, Temari. Quit arguing with your inner self about Naruto." She whipped her head around, glaring fiercely at the newcomer.
It was Kankuro. Temari scowled at him. "Who said I'm fighting with my 'inner self'?" She made air quotes around the last two words, obviously scornful. Kankuro just laughed.
"Who says you're not?" She growled again and averted her gaze, refusing to answer the question. Kankuro walked past her and put his hand on Gaara's shoulder. "So, what's it say?"
"The summary is that a rogue ninja has been sighted in Konohagakure," Gaara replied in his usual monotone voice. "The Hokage included a side note saying Sakura insists that it may have been Uzumaki Naruto." Kankuro, who'd been in the midst of trying to pull the scroll from Gaara's pale hands, froze. Temari, who'd been in the midst of opening her mouth to ridicule Konoha for sending a messenger bird for a rogue ninja—have they fallen that far, manpower-wise?—froze.
Kankuro was the first to break the silence.
"...Naruto?" he asked cautiously, face flickering between several emotions before deciding on wary. The puppet master leaned back a bit to look at Gaara's face. Of course, he shouldn't have bothered.
Emotionless.
"That's what it says." The Kazekage's voice held a note of impatience. Just a note, but it was enough to make Temari close her mouth and lean back in her—well, his—chair silently. "Sakura doesn't lie."
His brother raised an eyebrow before shrugging. "Whatever you say. Well? What are you going to do about this?"
Gaara was silent for a long time. Temari spun a bit on his chair, an irritated look on her face. Well masked, but her irritation peeked through all the same. It was clear she wanted her brother to ignore Konoha's message; Haruno Sakura might not lie, but her eyes could've easily been fooled. Gaara was aware of this, and ignored it. Kankuro still had his eyebrow raised, though it was starting to twitch from the strain of being held there for a long time.
Finally, Gaara gave a nearly inaudible sigh. "I'll request a meeting with the Godaime Hokage. We'll work this out."
Temari frowned slightly, defense mechanisms kicking in. "All this just for a possible sighting of Naruto? Seems like overkill, doesn't it?"
Kankuro whole-heartedly approved of Temari's words. However, he decided to remain quiet upon seeing Gaara's face. The usual empty expression was full of an anger that hadn't been seen in almost half a decade. "Kankuro. Temari. I understand, since you don't know Naruto. But I have to say this: Naruto was and is my friend. My first friend. He understood me like no one else, least of all my own siblings." Temari had the nerve to look ashamed at this, but she still refused to back down.
"But Gaara. How will the village react? They'll get the impression that you leave at the Hokage's beck and call. No, more like at a missing-nin's beck and call." She deliberately referred to Naruto as a missing-nin, knowing it'd cause more ugly guilt and sharp pain.
Gaara simply looked out his window, refusing to rise to her bait. "And that is precisely why I am going. Naruto was my first friend, so this is partly for him. But the more important reason is this: Naruto is becoming a danger. He is the Kyuubi vessel, like I was Shukaku's. Suna was fine, safe, until Naruto began dumping his bodies here. Now, we are at a grave point when the Akatsuki will attack soon, and most likely wait in ambush for Naruto... in Suna. And the resulting fight between them and the missing-nin will no doubt reach us."
He faced the window when he spoke his last words, a ring of finality echoing in them. The words of the Kazekage. "Naruto was my first friend, but I am not doing this for him. I am doing this for the village I have sworn to protect." He took a deep breath and released the words that would condemn Naruto's fate:
"It's time we hunted Naruto down."
They were the words of the Kazekage, but behind the ring of finality, if you listened hard…
You could hear the hope that had finally abandoned Gaara.
