Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: Just letting you know, I update sooner if I receive reviews. :] I've had this chapter written for some time, but I honestly was going to quit writing this fic if no one was interested. I know it's mean, but I'm busy and if this fic is not interesting anyone, then I thought I'd stop. Sorry for the wait regardless. Hope you like this fic – there's lots of fluff!
Her eyes fluttered open slowly as her body came back to life. As she hazily examined her surroundings, she realized that she was tucked tightly under warm, dark blue sheets in a room that was painted the same shade. She felt as if she was being engulfed in a sea of blue and she absolute adored it. There was one thing she could not get over, however. The room she was in was not her own, nor was it the room she inhabited in the TARDIS. Knowing that the TARDIS did have more than one bedroom, she tried to fall back asleep. Her eyes fluttered shut and she sunk further under the covers.
Almost immediately, a tingling sensation formed through her spine. Someone as there with her and however comfortable she was disappeared as she felt a slight stir coming from behind her. She quickly flipped herself over only to see the Doctor lying on his side facing her as he was fast asleep. Thoughts began to run through her head. She replayed the events of the day prior, regardless of how much she hated them, and tried to understand what had happened between the Doctor and herself. One moment she was on the TARDIS trying to comprehend why they had just left hundreds of children to perish, and the next she was in the Doctor's bed. No matter how many times she ran through the events, she could never seem to come up with what happened between being in the TARDIS console and being in the Doctor's bed. She was at a loss, but she knew there was only one person who could tell her the whole truth.
"Doctor" she whispered in an attempt to wake him from his slumber. He refused to move and remained lying at her side. He was sound asleep, eyes shut and his lips slightly parted, and he looked incredibly peaceful. In that moment, Clara knew that she could not wake him up. So, she turned herself around and happily snuggled back into the covers and backed herself closer to the Doctor. His warmth radiated through her body. The events of yesterday were still on her mind, but the thought of being cuddled next to the Doctor overwhelmed her. She smiled, and then sighed, and then fell into a serene slumber.
Three children strolled by her. They smiled and waved towards her while laughing the entire time. She always enjoyed children enjoying themselves. She politely waved back at them and continued walking. The scenery was bright around her; there were radiantly colored flowers blooming all around her, the grass was the greenest of greens and the sun was blazing. There were no signs of clouds or death anywhere in the distance. Clara loved days like these. They were the days where everything was right in the world.
Coming towards her was a man who was about a foot taller than herself. The man had floppy dark hair and straggly limbs, but for some reason when she looked at him, he felt like home. Her smile increased until it was fully submerging her face and she began to run towards him. In return, he began to run to her. After only a few seconds, the two had met in the middle of a large field and collapsed on the ground laughing. The two of them remained on the ground for several moments before finally getting up and enjoying the view. The Doctor came up behind her and immersed her in a tight hug from behind. She immediately gave in to him and pulled his arms around her tighter. The beautiful day, the gorgeous scenery and the children running around made the day wonderful, but the man behind her made this day perfect. She dearly loved him, she knew that even if he didn't, but this was only a dream. However, she kept dreaming despite the unfortunate fact that this was not real.
The sun shown around them and the sky was still the bluest blue, but suddenly the children began to vanish. Several of them ran into oblivion whereas the others simply disappeared as she watched in awe. She slowly pulled herself from the Doctor's grip and allowed herself to sink to the ground. The children were now nowhere to be found and the sky was starting to darken. Suddenly, thunder boomed around them and rain plunged towards the bare field. The green began to turn a dark brown and the trees began to fall over. Clara was in a state of complete panic as she tried to get up and find shelter. She ran to one of the many buildings standing around her, but as she did the buildings burst into flame. She felt her body cave in and suddenly she felt weightless. Her body was lifeless, yet she was still standing there. There was some hope left in her that kept her feet placed firmly on the ground and her body was not following the path of her evaporated mental processes. After the buildings were almost completely burnt down, she turned to the Doctor. All she wanted right now was a hand to hold, but that was clearly not going to happen any time soon.
When she turned around the Doctor was perfectly fine with his surroundings. Of course he was, he was intertwined with the woman he really loved. Clara looked towards them with horror and she felt a tear fall down her face. This was her breaking point; the Doctor was on the ground, tearing at River's clothes until she was barely dressed, their mouths working at one another's until she heard definite moans coming from their direction.
In that moment, little dots began to encompass her mind and the picture of her beloved Doctor and his wife began to disappear. She was waking up, which in her mind was both a blessing and a curse. She knew that she would have to face the Doctor about her terrible nightmare as well as the previous day's events. However, all she could think about now was what she had seen. She knew that the two of them were having intercourse, but she never thought that she would have to see them, even if it was only in her nightmares. The kids bursting into flames right before her eyes infuriated her, but the Doctor's relationship made her weak. The two miseries combined were not a nice combination.
As soon as she focused on the light of the tiny room in the TARDIS, she heard a voice booming from right next to her. She turned to face the Doctor, only to realize that he was in a panic. She reached up to her face and realized that she had been weeping pretty badly. She wiped the tears from her face only to have the Doctor pull her into his arms. The two of them had a lot to talk about, but she knew she would not be able to escape talking about what happened to her in that nightmare.
As she was let out of the Doctor's tight embrace, she looked up to him and smiled. She was clearly trying to mask the fact that something traumatic had just happened, but apparently he saw right through it as he looked down at her with his big, sad eyes. She closed in on herself and began crying nearly immediately. She felt his arms wrap around her once more, and speak softly in order to get her to calm down. She was unresponsive, and her words would have been drowned out by tears anyways. For practically hours the two of them sat on the bed in peace and tranquility. Clara had stopped crying, but she knew the Doctor would not talk before she did. She was going to have to make the first move, and honestly it frightened her.
Clara's eyes were now fixed on the Doctors. She had so many questions to ask him, yet had no idea where to begin. Why was the planet that they visited constantly at war? Why was it not real? How could he be still caught up with the ghost of his wife? All of these questions were valid, yet all that escaped her mouth was a soft, "why"?
He was clearly confused. His eyes darted back and forth and he looked as if he was going to start tearing up any moment. His hands left her back and were now placed firmly around both of hers. The two of them intertwined fingers and stared at each other for many moments before the Doctor finally spoke. "Clara" he started, "when I was young, I was sent to this planet called Anima Persis. It was beautiful, but desolate. A young child approached me and asked me if I could help him. Naturally, I said yes. However, I quickly realized there was nothing I could do for them. Regardless of what I did to help, they would all end up dead. I tried so hard to save them and almost lost myself in the process…" He paused. His eyes were welling up. Clara thought about what he was telling her. He was telling her a few stories of his past, which he never did. She knew that she would have to be extremely delicate if he was going to continue to trust her. Her eyes darted up towards his and she gave him a slight smile, unmistakably trying to let him know that he was in a safe and open environment.
"Well…" he breathed, trying hard to hold back all of the tears that were currently forming, "After I almost lost myself, I found out that all of these people I tried to save were ghosts. Clara, the planet we were on… it was Anima Persis. It was the planet I lost myself on and I refused to let the same thing happen to you… because… well, because… I know how much you love children and you never forget a memory like that. They're all ghosts, Clara. None of it was real".
She tried to comprehend everything he told her, but it was so hard. She would always try to protect children, even if they were children she could never protect. The thought ran through her mind and it made her rethink everything. Her gift was to teach and protect children, yet somehow she would have to let the events of yesterday go as if they did not happen. She was at a loss, and she knew that the newly revealed information would plague her. These trips were important, but not nearly as important as her sanity. She loved the Doctor and she could never leave him, but she knew that she could never visit Anima Persis again.
A/N: Just letting you all know I stole Anima Persis from Classic Who. :D
