My version of Leah and Twilight. Werewolves+ magic involves. Leah never a werewolf but she knew of their existence and imprinting. Sam imprinted on Emily and left her. Everyone saw her as pathetic. Life could be worse? Of course it does. WARNING: I changed the plot & characters. OOC. If you felt the urge to kill me, then don't read. Also, I'll correct errors as I find them.

XxXSpirit of LaPushXxX & lunjul : I didn't want to create a nice & understanding Sue (for now), that's why she was not acting like a good mom should be.

Yoshiposhi : Haha, I tried to write longer but I kinda stuck. I will my best to make longer chapters.

DISCLAIMERS: I definitely do not own Twilight and its original characters. They belong to SM.


Chapter 4 :: Not Even That

Condoms. Lots of them, arranged in different brands and prices. I used to be familiar with them back when Sam and I were still together as I wasn't really fond on taking birth control pills. They made me sick the last time I took one. Sam on the other hand respected my wish on not wanted to be pregnant before getting married even though he clearly stated that he would love to start a family with me as soon as possible. Wow, those were the days~

What I was concerned now is the fact Sam did not use a condom the last time we were together intimately.

Condom =sex=birth control.

Pregnant?

Me?

Really?

NO WAY!

I was dumped, my ex was ready on getting married and I could not be pregnant. No way! I should not! I must not! I better not!

Okay, I better calm myself down. Despite some of the symptoms indicating that I might be, okay scratch that, probably pregnant, there were chances that I was not. After all, I was in lots of stress lately. My period was irregular so it was really hard to predict the result based on that alone. Besides, that was the only time we skip the safe sex part. If I was that fertile, shouldn't Sam imprint on me instead of Emily?

Ouch, that part hurt!

I eyed the pregnancy test kits on the corner. Should I buy one? But this was a small town and I was already being famous for nothing. How fast do you think people would start talking when I bought one of that kind of thing? Even if the test returned negative, people would still be talking.

"Hey Leah! Can I get you something?"

I almost scream in surprise. When did that girl show up behind the counter? How did she know my name? Wait, who was she again? Uh, just skip that part! I think I remember her from school but that's all that. Did she notice I was looking at the pregnancy test kits' section? I hope she's not!

"I need some medicine for headache. I think I have slight fever too," I told her in a rush. I need to leave as soon as possible.

"Okay, this tablets are pretty effective but don't consume more than two per day. Just take one in the morning and one at night before bed. They work on fever too," she handed me the paper bag with the tablets and I quickly fished out a couple of notes from my purse. Then, I walked quickly to leave.

"Leah!" she called me. I hesitantly stop at the door. Her face showed pity, just like everyone else when they looked at me these days. "I am sorry for you. I hope you'll be fine!"

I just nodded and left. 'I'm sorry for you!' I heard that a lot these days. Why? For being dumped? Or for being dumped as he's with my cousin now? I felt annoyed suddenly. Random strangers love to pour out their feelings these days. Plus they had no idea at all about imprinting so they started to make wild assumptions, which I 100% sure they're not even close on why Sam dumped me.

Wait, I forgot about the pregnancy test kits!

Forget it! I would never step back in unless it was a life and death situation.

I better get to work.


I hardly concentrated at work. I kept thinking of purchasing the pregnancy test kits but I didn't want to expose myself as well. What should I do? I didn't even entertain Mike when he's being pervert like any other day. Mike noticed that too.

"Are you okay?" he asked as one of his perverted comments about my boobs didn't get any reaction from me.

"Why?" I asked.

"You look distracted," he said.

"I am fine," I said but I had an idea after that. "Actually… I was a bit woozy this morning. I think I need to lie down or something."

"Well you can rest at the best," he smirked in lecherous way making me think he added 'I could come and check on you later' in his mind.

"No, I guess I'll take a day off today. Will that be okay?" I gave a small smile and pretended that my head hurt.

"Yeah, sure! Can you come tomorrow?"

"I hope so," I grabbed my bag. "Bye!"

I dashed to my car. So much for pretending on being sick! Maybe Mike would think I really was sick and could not wait to leave. I couldn't give a damn about those things at this moment. I need to purchase those test kits in a place where someone hardly knows me. So I headed to Port Angeles.

After five hours later, I was on my way home. It shouldn't take that long to arrive at Port Angeles but my car, a heritage from dad was very ancient. Not to mention, I spend nearly an hour pondering on whether I really purchase a test kit or not. It was funny if I was not panic.

I was standing in front of the shelves, watching the array of display of pregnancy test kits. I wondered which one should I buy. Should I buy only one? Maybe the result would not be accurate. Two then, different brand of course. I grabbed two but stopped on the track. What if two still could not show the correct result? There was probability that that might happen. Okay, three! No four! five! Okay I'll take ten!

As I walked to the counter, I saw a couple of girls from La Push was standing near the lip gloss' sections, laughing among themselves. What the hell? I drove to Port Angeles and I still couldn't escape them! I waited for forty minutes for those girls to leave, not buying any lip gloss at all. Why did they come here for anyway? As soon as they leave, I quickly walked to the counter and paid the test kits. I ignored the cashier pointed look at me. Why did he care? I used my money!

I tried to walk calmly to leave afterward. Though I must, I half sprinted. It was a big relief when I finally get into the car.

I wonder whether I should try the test kits or have dinner first. Test kits first! I would be nervous to eat anyway, despite being rest assured that I was not pregnant. As soon as my house came into view, I saw Sam sitting on the stairs. Why did he come? I hate the fact that my heart still fluttered whenever I saw him. Damn, traitorous heart! Stop beating like crazy! He stood up when he saw my car. I stayed in the car, wondering whether I should just reverse or pretend I didn't see him. No, I need to go through this anyway. Let's get this over with. I grabbed the plastic bag containing the test kits and shoved them into my bag and locked the car.

"If you come to nag me, then leave!" I walked past him.

"What?" he looked confused.

"About the bridesmaid thingy."

"No, of course not. I know you wouldn't agree," Sam answered. He knew me so well.

"Oh. Then, why are you here?"

"Where were you?" Sam asked, trying to catch my eyes.

"Why do you care?" I snapped.

He sighed. "Believe it or not I still care about you."

I fight the urged to slap him and fumbled for my house key. "So you said."

"They said you're sick. Are you alright?" he trotted behind me as I unlocked the door.

"They heard it wrong!" Geez, small town and gossips are certainly best buddies!

"Actually Ray Lea that works at the store told Emily that you're sick when she went to buy some stuff there," he explained, inviting himself into my house before I had a chance to slam it on his face.

"How did you know her?" I asked, probably sounded a bit jealous and momentarily forgotten to chase him out.

"She was in a couple of your class. I met her a couple of times when I went to see you at class," he explained. Ah, no wonder she looked familiar.

"Well I am not sick! Anything else you want to ask?" I placed my bag on the counter, refused to face him. I did not trust my body or my heart right now.

He sighed again. "Why are you acting like this Leah?"

"Acting like what?" this time I turned to face him. He seemed to understand my anger so instead of answering me, he sat on a chair. Looks like he would be staying longer than I thought.

"Despite what you think, I still care and love you Leah," he calmly said.

"Despite what you think, your love is no longer the same right? Probably it didn't exist in the first place!" I replied back.

"How many time should I tell you that it was real? You think I was lying all along?" he was starting to shake. If I provoke him more, he would probably phase in my kitchen. He started to calm down later on.

"Why did you come Sam? To reminisce our relationship?" I asked.

Sam looked at me. Part of me felt the need to touch him again. I really fought hard to control it. "I don't know how to make up to you Leah. I know no matter what I did, I won't be easily forgiven. There were times when I wonder why it isn't you that I imprinted on."

Again with the imprinting! "Enough, Sam! If our love was strong, then it is me that you choose, not her! Don't blame the imprinting process!"

He ran his hand on his hair. He looked defeated. "I know! I know!"

"Do you regret you imprinted on her?" I asked, feeling a bit hopeful.

"Of course not!" he looked insulted and that hurt! Really hurt!

"No matter what we will still not going to be back together right?" I asked, feeling woozy again. I better not fainted here.

"No. I could not see that anymore. I could not even picture us anymore."

"Your decision won't change anymore right?" I hold back my tears.

"It's not my decision!" he half yelled.

"If our love was as strong as you said, then fight for it! Fight the imprinting!"

"I CAN'T!" he roared. He looked apologetic later on. "I felt incomplete without Emily. Whatever I do, I always think of her. No matter what, only she matters. I am only able to see her."

"Will it change if I told I still love you, with all my heart? Or I also want to start a family with you-"

He interrupted me before I even finished. "You don't understand! It never will!"

"EVEN IF I AM CARRYING YOUR CHILD?" I yelled.

For a moment, he looked happy but then, he looked petrified. "You're pregnant?"

"Even that?" I asked, not answering. I was not sure whether I was pregnant or not anyway.

He took moments to think. "Maybe not even that."

I chased him out after that. That's too much for me to handle. How cruel could he be? Even if I were pregnant, I wasn't planning on asking him to return for the sake of our child. I thought he would love me enough to return. I couldn't believe I tried to beg him. What happened to my dignity? My resolves? Leah Clearwater never beg a man. But I always see Sam as worth begging. Love does change people. In my case, it changes me to worse.

I stared at the bag. Should I test those kits or just ignore them?