Chapter 3

"Come on Jag! We're going to be late for dinner at this rate." Badger called from just outside the barrack door.

"Is it really 1830 already?"Jag asked tucking his bag under his bed as he got up.

"Yup, it is. I know what you mean though. It feels earlier doesn't it?"

"It's because we had the afternoon off so that we could get to know each other a little better. But don't worry, we're busy again tomorrow!" Boar said rolling his eyes with obvious sarcasm.

"Come on guys, I'm starving!" Cheetah yelled as he started to jog towards the mess hall.


Jag went to sit with his unit when he had his food, if you could call that mush food. They had pulled up another table beside theirs so that they could sit with B unit. They looked hard on the outside, but then so did most SAS men. It just came with the job description. As one of them turned towards him he could see the spark in his eyes. He hadn't been into battle yet. Those eyes were still innocent. They didn't see shadows around every corner. Jag hoped that they never would.

"Are you sure that he's got the right place?"

"He looks a little young don't you think?"

Jag hated people muttering behind his back. Why didn't they just come out and say it to his face? Why did they hide behind his back? Something flitted across Jag's face. One would probably think that it was confusion, maybe a little irate. It was gone before they could place it. It was replaced by a cold, blank mask; perfectly devoid of any emotion. Anyone who saw it flinched back slightly. The muttering stopped.

Jag let a smile twitch at the corner of his mouth before turning back to his unit. He didn't want them to see that side of him so soon. Not when he had only just joined.

He laughed and he smiled but none of these actions ever reached his eyes that night. If you watched him closely his expression turned sour when no one was watching. The terror ran back into his eyes, the eyes of someone who had seen too much. They were haunted and riddled with nightmares that no one could make go away. They were scars for life.

He had had enough of everyone looking at him. The whispers had stopped but people were still watching him. His senses were going haywire; it set him on edge too much. They had kept him alive so far but he had to learn to turn them down a bit if he was to fit in here.

He picked his plate up abruptly making everyone on the table jump. Every action he had made that day had been smooth and silent; so much so that hardly anybody noticed them. Yet as the chair scraped along the floor, some looked surprised to see him sat there. Not many people noticed him and it would ruin his cover one day. He had to stop it now.


Jag closed his eyes as his unit came back into the barrack. He hoped that they thought he had gone to sleep.

They fell silent as they saw him and got changed quietly before going to bed themselves and fell asleep.

Jag drifted off slowly but dreaded the long night ahead. He hadn't slept soundly in months and even that was when he was in hospital so high on aesthetic that he couldn't really do much else apart from sleep.

He could see them all dead before him; Jack, Tom, Yassen, Ian, John, Helen, Boar, Cheetah, Badger, Wolf, Eagle, Snake. People from his school were there as well; random people he had seen in the streets; even those who he did not think of as a friend, like ASH. He saw them all die silently. But it was Ben who spoke.

"This is your fault Alex." Ben muttered almost inaudibly. "It's all your fault."

Jag's eyes were open in a flash. His breathing was laboured and sweat was dripping down his face. He convinced himself that it wasn't real. Ben had always been there with him for every step of the way; helping him through everything that happened. He didn't know what he would have done without him. Ben had never blamed him for anything.

He saw that his unit were sleeping peacefully he truly allowed himself to rest for once.

He was safe now.

He didn't have to sleep with one eye open anymore.

Hi guys! Thanks for reviewing and all the support I'm getting I always thought that no one would want to read what I'd written (I don't know why) and I never let anyone read it. This has been such a great boost to my confidence so thank you all so much!

I can garentee that Ben will appear. Yes alright I admit that I skipped ahead just to write that one chapter! I am still undecided about K-unit although they will probably be included a chapter or 2 after Ben.

Sorry about the length of this chapter. The next one will be added soon and will be longer I promise!

Please review. I love hearing your comments and I can only write what you want to read if you tell me what you want. I will try to include atleast a little bit of everything that you suggest so long as it fits with my plot.

Thanks again,

Cat