Fragile
AN: Naruto is not mine, and incidentally, the quote from last chapter ("We pay for the violence of our ancestors") belongs to Frank Herbert, and was originally said by Paul Atredies in Dune.
Anyhoo, back to the yaoi goodness...
Chapter Four
The two of them were sitting on the couch, or rather Gaara was sitting up, and he noticed how the Hyuuga's dark hair almost sparkled in the morning light. Hmmm... there's red and gold in there... He briefly considered that perhaps he should stop running his fingers through the silky locks drifting down Neji's shoulders and back.
It was the most he had ever touched anyone, and besides, the older man was sleeping with his head on the Kazekage's lap... it wasn't like the attention was completely unmerited.
I didn't even know that I was touching his hair, Gaara thought quietly, wondering at the sensations at his fingertips, When did I start... was it when we were still talking? After he fell asleep?
"Mnmph," the brunet turned his face up and drowsily opened his eyes.
The red-head literally stopped breathing as he watched the pearl eyes narrow as Neji tried to recollect how he got into the rather compromising position.
"You still stayed awake," the Hyuuga noted, eyes still narrowed, "It's going to affect your work at some point," he sat up, taking Gaara's hand, "Tonight we'll try it again."
"You're not angry," the Kazekage wondered.
Neji didn't say anything, simply leaned forward, softly letting go of the other's hand and placing it around his waist, "No. In fact I appreciate the attention... it's a pain to take care of... even more so in the desert."
Teal eyes widened as their faces got closer and he almost considered running for it right before their lips met.
He never been intimately touched like this before, and didn't realize that his hands had reached up to the brunet's shirt or that he was pulling the other down onto the couch. He didn't even realize that he had wrapped his leg around the other man's.
He was aware of the small burning sensation that only grew when he felt the other's tongue lick against his lips, eliciting a small moan from the red-head as he opened his mouth.
A knock on the door caused them both to stop and look up, Neji activating his byakugaun, "It's your brother," he whispered in Gaara's ear, "We really should..."
The red-head nodded, even though he tightened his grip and pulled the Hyuuga down once more, "What is it?" he called out.
"Did you know that some of the villagers are working up that festival again? I've been asked by twenty people already to get you to declare a real holiday for the village."
"I'll look into it," Gaara bit his lower lip to keep himself from gasping as Neji muzzled into his neck, "I'll be heading to the tower in a bit." he managed to say after a moment.
There was a smirk on the brunet's face when he raised his head again, "He's gone... and you're a bit too eager for your first time," he thunked Gaara's nose, "Tonight. And you're going to sleep afterwards, I promise... nice and peaceful slumber."
He detangled himself from the Kazekage and stood, "A festival does sound nice, I wonder what brought that on."
Gaara blushed, "It's something they've been trying for since the anniversary of the day I was brought back to life... it's to celebrate my return."
"I told you, they adore you... I adore you."
"Why?" he asked suddenly, "The things I did... they're something that I could never be forgiven for."
"That. You keep yourself accountable for every life that your rage destroyed even for the ones you didn't. It's as you said, you remember them," Neji leaned down, "It's something that I can understand very well. You and I..." his eyes darkened, "There's pain and suffering in us, but in all of that darkness there's a light. Yours is every bit as bright as Naruto's, if not brighter." Lips brushed against his, but this time a chaste kiss, "And your entire village sees that."
He left the room after that, as both needed to see to their duties.
Gaara passed the day in a daze, eager for the night to come, but at the same time, dreading it the smallest bit. The only official thing he did was to give the villagers their festival and official holiday. At the council's request, he even allowed for it to be three days.
That sunset he paced his room, waiting for Neji.
He may not come. A tiny voice said. He shook it away, I'm acting like a lovesick fool.
That stopped him for a moment and he searched through all of his memories for some semblance of how to act.
He immediately regretted it, and ran into the bathroom as vivid images of a past container who continually raped victims as he bathed in their blood flooded into his brain.
What felt like a refreshing breeze rustled through his hair, and some of his sand steadied him, as calm images of Seren's life came and swept away the negative memories.
The nauseous feeling passed and he felt strong arms wrap around him and Neji's intoxicating scent, which he hadn't noticed before, sent him into an almost blisslike state.
"You seem a bit out of it," the brunet whispered in his ear, "Are you regretting?"
"No..." Gaara turned to him, "This may be one of the few things I don't regret. But... I am nervous." he chewed his lip, "You said it yourself this morning... it is my first time... for a lot of things..."
Neji gently smiled and took him back to his bedroom, "Perhaps it would put you at ease if I told you that's normal. I was the same way my first time."
"Who was it?" the voice was more anxious than he intended and Gaara almost wished he hadn't asked.
"You'll laugh and call me a fool," the brunet said as he sat down on the couch, "I made the ill-advised mistake of drinking with a merchant I was escorting and found mildly attractive. There was playful banter before hand, but I'm not sure I would have acted that way otherwise."
"You got drunk?" the red-headed bit his lower lip as his eyes widened, "But..."
"Apparently Lee isn't the only one on our team with a reaction to spirits, I have the misfortune of becoming very huggable." he paused, "And kissable..." he sighed, "I really don't remember much after the initial lost of my virginity."
It was too much, Gaara burst into laughter, unable to speak for a few moments.
When he finally did, he was wiping tears from his eyes, "I... I think I'm going to have to see that... you drunk at least," he walked over to the couch, "How long have you been having... perverted thoughts about me?"
"Right after the war started, when I was assigned to your unit in the joint army," Neji smiled softly in remembrance, "When I saw how you gave your all to lead us... and then I became attracted to you. But... we were friends first, so I resigned myself to watch you from afar," his face darkened, "Something my family seems to be good at."
Gaara sat himself on his lap, "That was over a year ago... you waited all this time..."
The brunet's hand reached up and brushed against the soft red hair, "Worth it," he pulled him down and crashed their lips together.
