Author's Note: Again, I'd like to hand out a round of thanks to everyone who has left a review. It was delayed a bit by the discovery of Hikaru no Go...did anyone else know that five minutes of that show would be addictive?
That's not the point! The point is, I'm sorry it took so long, and I promise that the next chapter will have things pick up. As always, reviews make me write faster! Thank you for reading!
Doldrums
I was so intent on trying to decipher Hiiragizawa's notes, half in Japanese, half in English, that it didn't register to me when Touya walked past to answer the door. I heard Daidouji's soft voice asking for Sakura, telling Touya that she was having a difficult time getting anyone to answer their telephones. I did look up as he ushered her in, and barely noted the shock and puzzlement that crossed her features.
"Li-kun? What's going on? Where's Sakura-chan?"
No one wanted to answer, obviously. I certainly didn't, and I rustled the pages in front of me almost as if giving an excuse as to why I should not be the one to tell her.
Silence rang out throughout the room. I stubbornly read through a few more lines of text, then looked up. Touya looked stunned, his mouth working, but no sound coming out. Yukito was staring out the window, pain written on his face, but he was clearly also at a loss for words. I slammed the fax pages down on the coffee table and let out a low growl of frustration. Well...I was the one that knew her the best after all, since we'd been through so much together. Maybe it was my place to answer, no matter how much I didn't want to admit what had happened.
Daidouji is a very smart girl though, and she had put two and two together...and got four and a half, of course. "Oh my God," she whispered. "What hospital is she in?"
"What?" Yes, I was the one with the intelligent reply here. Or, well, at least I managed to say something, unlike the other two statues in the room. I looked down at myself and realized I was still covered in blood, and knew what she must have assumed. "No, Daidouji-san, that's not what happened. She...we...we don't exactly know where she is."
Now it should be clear why I hadn't wanted to be the one to answer this. I'm not the most eloquent person when put on the spot, even now that I know the language a bit better. As much as I wished I could use learning a new language as an excuse for stumbling over words under stress, that simply wasn't the reason. For some reason when the tough gets going my brain forgets how to operate my mouth. Great with the sword and the spells, not so handy with the diplomacy and comfort.
"What do you mean? What happened? Somebody tell me what's going on here!" That last demand was reminiscent of her mother, and I quailed more. I already didn't want to have to say anything. I wasn't even there when it happened!
"She's been kidnapped," Yukito finally answered, and I nearly slumped in relief. Yes, he had a much better talent with words than I did. He was much better at...a lot...of....
I turned my attention back to Eriol's dream journal. I spared just enough attention to know that Yukito and Touya could handle explanations from here, now that they had proof that I was useless for that particular task. I sighed, wondering yet again if there was some reason for his insane shifts from English to Japanese and back again. It made my head hurt.
"Can I have a pen and paper?" I gave up on trying to make sense of it all at once just by reading it through. I'd have to translate it bit-by-bit and then figure out how it all fit together. Leave it to Hiiragizawa to make things that much harder in an emergency. "An English dictionary would be a good idea too, if you have one handy."
Touya didn't bother with our petty rivalry this time; he just got up and brought me what I asked for. I nodded in thanks and got to work.
In the end all I ended up with was page after page of the usual maddening hints that make people both believe and disbelieve in prophecy. I was sure it would all make sense in the end when I could look back and compare it to what had already happened, but right now it still left me with no leads. I had a feeling that the unseen enemy was unbeatable, but they ended up being their own downfall in the end. How the hell would that help me? It didn't make any sense. That was just one example of the sort of stuff Eriol had managed to remember from his dreams. It was hopeless.
I finally pushed the papers away and laid my head on the table. "If anyone else wants to give this a try, be my guest. I'm done."
Some of the stuff he wrote down I didn't even see the point of saving. Pressed flowers? Who cared about that kind of thing in the first place? It just showed what kind of strange person Hiiragizawa was in the first place. I stood, rubbing my eyes wearily and stretching, while Touya and Daidouji picked up random pages of both originals and my notes. They were welcome to it; I'd had enough.
"Oi, gaki!" I turned to glare at Touya. Apparently our truce had reached its limit. "You left this word here. Doldrums. What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"What?" I didn't remember that word. I walked back to look where he pointed and shrugged. It was one of the things I'd skipped over, not entirely sure of my translation. I knew the word, but I'd have to spend too much effort trying to explain it, so I'd left it. It was from the very first dream, something I'd thought incongruous at the time. "It's an older English word, not used much anymore. It means a calm spot, but not in a good way."
"What? That doesn't make sense."
Leave it to Hiiragizawa to use a word like that. "I think it was used on old sailing ships, to describe an area where nothing ever happens. You can have your sails up for days, and you won't get anywhere because the area has no wind and no current to carry you. You're stuck. Those are the doldrums. The only way out is to row, because if you wait for an outside force you could die while you wait."
"There were a lot of ships in the old days without oars, when sailing ships were commonly used, right?" Daidouji had gotten into the discussion now. "So, if those ships were caught in the doldrums they were doomed, right?"
"Exactly," I said.
"Well, don't look now, but according to this first dream it seems we are the ones in the doldrums. Weren't you paying attention?" Touya was glaring full force now, and I hated to admit that I'd missed that entirely.
"Then, what are you waiting for? Start rowing." I returned his glare and crossed my arms to emphasize my point.
Daidouji again interrupted, and I could almost thank her for diffusing the tension between us. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it looks like we don't have oars. You guys said that the ones that took Sakura are invisible, right? We don't know where to start looking for her, or who took her, or why. Without any of that, we can't begin to help her at all!"
Without much hope, I sighed. "I have one thing I could try, but I don't know how well it will work. Something tells me that it won't, but I can't live with myself if I don't. Daidouji, do you remember when we were trapped in the school, and the rooms kept changing?"
"Yes. Sakura told me that you could have found me if you'd had something of mine, so Sakura and I exchanged--" Her eyes grew large, then she grinned. "I'm sure it would work! It has to!" She pulled out a small hair ribbon that looked like it had seen better years. "It's borrowed, even though she said she'd never ask for it back. Will that work?"
I hesitated, touching the item and finding no trace of Sakura's aura on it. I didn't want to be the one to tell Daidouji that their exchange had nullified the magic I could have used.
"If that's what you needed, why didn't you ask me? I'll go up to her room and get something of hers that's bound to have a stronger impression." Touya shook his head as he hurried up the stairs, and in that moment I could have kissed him for taking the burden off of my shoulders--I didn't have to ask him, and I didn't have to break the bad news to Daidouji about her trinket.
Well, maybe kissing was too much. I was appreciative, and we'll leave it at that.
When he returned I was shocked to see what he held. Nestled in the palm of his had was a small golden chain bracelet with a broken clasp and three small charms on it. One was a teddy bear, one was a key, and one was a crystal heart that still gleamed in the light. In the center of that heart was a frosted impression of a cherry blossom...I'd thought of her as soon as I'd seen it. This was the first birthday present I had sent her from home, when I couldn't leave because duty to the clan held me against my will. She'd been heartbroken when the clasp broke, but I told her not to worry about it and bought her a replacement. I had no idea she still held on to this one, and was shocked that Touya would bring this for me to see. Was it because he knew? Or was it just because she'd worn it for so long?
"That...will work just fine," I said in a hushed voice. I found myself straining to keep my voice even as emotion welled within me. As soon as he handed me the bracelet, I could feel it humming with her life force and an overpowering love. I had to take a few measured breaths before I could think of working magic.
I sat down and began the old chant that had been handed down from generation to generation in my family. After the third hushed repetition the world around me fell away and I saw the silver string that bound this small trinket in my hand to the owner. I followed emotionlessly, gathering the direction and distance like facts read from a book. Or, I should say that I tried to do this, as it was the usual thing to do. Distance: vast. Direction: everywhere. Unusual readings, but not entirely unexpected. It only served to confirm what I'd already suspected. She would not be found by normal means.
"I have good news, and I have bad news," I stated ironically as I opened my eyes.
"I hate that phrase," Touya groaned. "Well, let's get the bad news out of the way so we have something to look forward to."
"Don't get your hopes up," I muttered with a sigh. "Well, I was right. This simple spell isn't going to be enough to find her. I had to try, to get it out of the way, but whatever is powerful enough to have kidnapped her is also strong enough to block this spell. Obviously."
Daidouji nodded, too practical to let that bring her down. "Okay. Tell us the good news."
"She's alive," I said with a slight grin. "Not that I thought she wasn't, but it's nice to know for sure."
Their expressions spoke in unison. The first reaction was exasperation; of course she was alive! Then there was doubt; they'd both worried, just as I had. Finally they both looked as relieved as I had been when I realized I'd been "holding my breath" this whole time.
It was the voice from behind me that broke the mood though. "Of course she is. I would know immediately if she wasn't." I turned around to find that Yue was with us again, looking exasperated with all three of us. "Let's not celebrate her continued existence too soon. We don't know what her kidnappers have in mind for the future, so the sooner we do find her the better."
"I know that," I muttered, hurt. Why did he have to rob me of the only good thing I had found since Sakura had been taken? I needed that hope, and it stung to have it belittled. "Unless you plan to row this ship by yourself, don't rob me of my simple pleasures. We need all the hope we can get."
He blinked, clearly confused. He had missed all the talk of ships and doldrums, so Daidouji covered her mouth and turned away to hide her laughter...and Touya smirked outright. It was a beautiful sight, seeing Yue's perfect facade broken like that. I'll go so far as to say it gave me warm fuzzies, seeing his expression.
"I'll explain later," Touya said, still grinning. He returned to business a moment later though, looking at the pages again. "There does have to be a way to help though. Why would there have been so many dreams if we weren't meant to find a way past this?"
I shook my head. "We just might have to wait until acted upon by an outside force. Maybe we'll find a clue, maybe something will happen that we don't expect right now. I don't know what else to do." The words made me sick to my stomach. I wanted there to be something I could do that no one else could. I wanted to save her immediately from whatever horrible fate awaited her, but I could think of nothing else. If Hiiragizawa couldn't help, if my own spells were so easily blocked, what else was there?
Oh, but it sickened me to think that I could be doing anything resembling giving up.
But...no one else came up with any suggestions either.
I looked at that first sheet of paper again, where Eriol had scribbled the word "doldrums" surrounded by kanji describing his dream. It stood out, and now I couldn't see why it hadn't stuck with me past the first page. That one word spoke so clearly about where we were right now. I handed the sheet to Yue and stormed out of the room. His softly murmured "Ah, I see," followed me, but it was no comfort.
This was the feeling I hated the most. There was nothing I could do. Sakura was in danger yet again, and all I could do was stand aside and let it happen. Again. It was too much this time. I found myself calmly walking to the bathroom and locking the door, then I kneeled before the toilet. I was surprised to note I was trembling, and I think when I saw myself in the mirror I think I had gone pale. It felt like I was watching from a great distance as I bent over and let everything come out. It was the worst feeling. It hurt. It was the only release I had though, and I could cry as it happened. While I did this, it was okay to cry. I shook harder, closing my eyes and finding a dark void there ready and waiting for me. I somehow managed to flush before I passed out for a third time that afternoon.
