[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer , because if I did Bella would be with Alice and the whole thing wouldn't be rated PG13
**All over me**
I wiped my sweating palms on the rough fabric of my jeans and sighed deeply before I finally managed to calm myself down enough to get out of my car.
You can do that, I tried to encourage myself. The last of a dozen attempts to convince myself that it was a good idea what I was about to do. Wasn't that what everyone told you in those stupid leaflets? That everything would be way easier once you told your mother.
"Isabella!" My mom called out when she saw me. She gave me a one-armed hug and returned her attention to the flower arrangement on the kitchen table.
"Hi mom." I greeted her, trying to make my voice sound cheerful and light.
"Are you okay?" she asked me worriedly when she saw how I nervously nibbled on my bottom lip.
"Yes, of course, I am. I just came here to…," to tell you that I'm a homo…
"To visit you," I finally managed to croak out, staring down at the floor to avoid eye contact with her.
"That's nice. I'm happy to see you. You look good."
"Thanks mom."
"How's living with that man going?"
"That man is my father and he has a name."
"Whatever. You could have stayed with me and Phil, you know? We have way more space here for you and you'd have your own bathroom."
"It's not for long anyway. I'm planning on getting a place of my own."
"If you found yourself a nice boyfriend you could move in with him. It's really time for you to consider a serious relationship."
"Mom, please."
"I don't understand why you're so ridiculously shy around men. That's something that you must have inherited from his side, not mine."
I sighed deeply and poured myself a glass of water that I swallowed down in one gulp. Afterwards my throat still felt way too dry to speak. At least too dry to speak the words I had come here to tell her. Damn it, why the hell was this so incredibly difficult?
"Karen told me that Mike and Jessica broke off…again."
"Hmm,"
"Maybe you should call him and ask him to go out for a drink or something like that. Men like women who take control."
"Mom, are you kidding me?"
"Why would I? Newton is nice. He comes from a good family." He comes from a good family is my mother's polite way of saying that they are rich. Well, whatever, being rich means in a small town.
"I'm not interested in Mike."
"Even that little, four-eyes managed to catch a husband. You're way prettier than Angela, so what is wrong with you?"
"Nothing," I mumbled, pouring myself another glass of water.
My cell vibrated in my pocket and I flipped it open to read the new text.
Has anyone ever told you that smell like Freesia and Strawberries? AC
I quickly typed a reply and tried to cover my blush behind a curtain of my long hair.
That's just my shampoo. B.
Her answer came a few seconds later.
You're not really good at the whole flirting thing, are you?
I sighed and tried to ignore the trembling in my fingertips when I send the next message.
Sorry, I'm talking to my mom right now and I'm kind of nervous.
Don't be nervous. Everything is going to be fine.
I wasn't so sure about that and when I stuffed the cell back into my pocket again, I decided that this whole coming out to my mother thing had been a stupid idea. There was no way she was ever going to understand the way I felt.
"I have to go now, mom." I whispered, standing up from the chair again.
"That soon? Don't you want to stay for dinner?"
"No, I can't. I'm meeting with a…" the word almost died on my lips …"with a friend."
Fucking coward, I cursed myself. Friend? She wasn't my friend, because I knew for sure that friends didn't make your heart beat like that…
XXXX
She opened the door and wrapped her arms around my neck. Her dark curls were still damp and felt silky against the skin of my neck when she planted a kiss on my cheek.
"Hi, pretty one."
I took her hand in mine to draw invisible lines over the pearly-white skin. Her lips twitched into a smile and I felt how my heart pulsated so hard against my ribs that for a split second I wondered if she would be able to hear that.
"I thought that you'd like it better if we're eating here instead of a restaurant."
"Hmm,"
We walked into the apartment and I almost stumbled over a box that was standing on the floor.
"Sorry that it's so crowded. We don't really have enough space here."
"Our space would be just fine if we wouldn't have to make room for all of your stuff too."
A honey-blonde guy stated while he sipped on a bottle of beer in his hands.
Alice blushed and crossed her arms in front of her chest before she spoke up again.
"Why are you still here? Didn't you promise me that you would leave to pick up my brother about half an hour ago?"
"He called to tell me that he's working overtime."
"Then you could still be a nice boyfriend and wait there until he's ready." She stated nervously.
The blond guy chuckled and took another sip from his beer before he placed it on the counter.
Then he reached out his hand and waved at me.
"Hi there, I'm sorry that my sister-in-law has no manners. I'm Jasper."
"Hi Jasper, it's nice to meet you."
"Are you going to stay here the entire evening?"
"Alice, calm down. I'm about to leave."
"It doesn't look like you're leaving."
"Okay, you caught me. I was curious about your new…girlfriend."
"Oh, I'm not…" I croaked out, instantly regretting my words as soon as they had left my lips.
"Are you sure about that? Because you're holding her hand a little bit too long for a good friend."
"Jasper for heaven's sake, mind your own business."
"Kay, I'm going now. Don't have sex on the couch. It was too expensive to ruin it with your…friendship."
"Fuck you!" she snarled at him when he walked out of the small living room. When he was gone she cleared her throat nervously.
"Sorry about that."
"Don't have to be." I assured her while sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.
"Was that your brother's boyfriend?"
"Hmm, yes."
"He doesn't really look gay."
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"
"No…yes, I don't really know."
"I'm giving you a clue. It's not."
I nodded my head before I put it in my hands to hide my embarrassed face. God, all of this was so confusing and new.
"Hey," she whispered, kneeling down in front of me.
"Look at me."
I lowered my hands very slowly and blinked into her beautiful face.
"There you are. Bella, you don't have to feel bad for saying what you think."
"Hmm,"
She leaned forward and put a curl of my hair behind my ear. Her fingertips grazed the shell of my ear for a moment and her touch managed to send a pleasant shiver down my spine.
"I missed you…kind off."
"I missed you too…kind off."
I took her hand in mine and planted a soft kiss on her palm.
"I have to tell you something."
"It's never a good sign when someone starts with that sentence."
She stood up from the ground and opened the fridge behind her.
"What do you want to drink? We have diet coke and beer and something that probably was orange juice about two weeks ago."
"Diet coke is fine, thank you."
I sipped on the bottle that she handed me and cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up again.
"I couldn't do it. I just couldn't."
"You could not what?"
"Tell my mother…well, you know what I mean."
Her pretty mouth twitched for a moment. Then she took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently.
"It's okay. I know that this is difficult for you, Bella."
"I'm scared." I mumbled hoarsely, my voice almost cracking at the end.
"Of what? What is the worst that could happen?"
I buried my face against the crock of her neck and sighed deeply.
"That she could be disappointed or angry, probably a little bit of both,"
She pulled me closer against her body and stroked over my hair in smooth, feather light movements.
"Don't be afraid. Your parents will still love you, when you tell them."
"How can you know that? This is a small town and my father knows so many people. I don't want them to talk about me behind my back."
"It seems to matter a lot to you what other people think about you." she stated while she stood up from the ground again.
"Doesn't that matter to you at all?" I asked her while I couldn't keep my eyes of off her mouth as she licked off a bit of pasta sauce from a spoon.
"Try," she whispered and put another spoon of it against my lips.
"Is it good?"
The first thing I tasted was salt, followed by something that reminded me a little bit of basil and burned onions.
"It tastes interesting," I stated when I swallowed it with another sip from my coke.
"It tastes like crap."
"It's not that bad."
"Oh, Bella, you really suck at lying. How did you manage to hide your orientation for so long?"
"I'm pretty good at avoiding the whole subject."
She flipped the cooking book that was lying on the counter open and sighed.
"I don't understand why it doesn't taste like it normally does. When Edward cooks this it's really delicious."
"Have you ever cooked before?"
"Not much. But it looked easy to me when I watched my brother do it, so I figured out it couldn't be that difficult."
"It's not, if you know what you're doing."
I twisted my hands into a messy ponytail and put my arm around her shoulder.
"Can I take a look? I'm pretty good at cooking."
"Bella, you don't have to do that. We can order pizza or something like that."
"Is Chinese okay? I have a weakness for fortune cookies."
"I can predict the future for you perfectly, if you want me too."
"Kay,"
She turned around and cupped my face between her dainty hands. Then she leaned over, stopping probably an inch away from my mouth. Her lips were so close to mine that I could almost feel the warmth of them on my skin.
"What do you see?" I whispered, letting my forefinger brush against her lower lip. It felt smooth like silk against my fingertip. Soft, everything about her is so incredibly soft, I thought.
"You're going to meet a very beautiful woman."
"Really?"
"Of course, I'm an excellent psychic and wouldn't tell you anything that's not true."
"Is she going to kiss me?" I asked her, twisting my hands into her short curls to pull her closer.
"Do you want her to?"
I didn't answer her; instead I closed my eyes and nudged my lips against hers very gently. For a split second she seemed to hesitate but then she kissed me back, making me shiver when the tip of her tongue swirled over my lower lip until I parted my mouth a little. Her hands moved down my back and when she reached the small stripe of exposed skin between my jeans and my shirt I moaned against her trembling lips.
"We should stop," she mumbled when she pulled back and took two steps backwards. When her eyes met mine again, I realized that she looked incredibly sad.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No, you didn't. I already told you that patience is not my strong point. I want you…but I need you to want me too. Enough that you are not afraid to tell people, who I am to you."
"Oh, I see."
I knew exactly where she was heading with this. She didn't know how long she could be with someone who couldn't be open about her sexuality. And the truth was that I knew she was right. She deserved better. The only question was whether I would be able to give that to her.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
[A/N] I love to hear your thoughts about this chapter. So, please press the review-button or pm me to let me know if you liked it.
