12G+ABAJ Chapter 4 & 4½
4- Because we love Megan Mullally and Sean Hayes
Julianne walked into the auditorium with Puck behind her (she still didn't know this school). She spotted Rachel on stage and the Puckermans smiled.
"Hey Rachel! I hope you don't mind if Noah stays and watches, do you?" Julianne was now on the stage, pointing at her brother in the very last row.
"No, I don't mind." Rachel smiled sweetly.
"Cool. So, what are we singing, exactly?"
"Well, the song is called 'Unforgettable,' do you know it?"
Julianne smiled,"Unforgettable in every way; unforgettable, that's how you'll stay." she sang,"Megan Mullally and Sean Hayes sang that on the finale of 'Will
& Grace' honey. Of COURSE I DO!"
"Oh gosh, I loved that!" Rachel smiled.
"Me too!" Julianne look towards Puck in the audience. She mouthed the words 'We are fucking TWINS!' to him, and that just made him smirk. He shrugged, as if to say "I told you so!" and smiled at her.
"Well, then you sing Karen's part, and I'll sing Jack's part." Rachel sat at the piano bench, and readied her fingers. "Sorry! No accompanist!"
"Now, you're really getting into character.-I need a martini glass." the girls laughed, and Rachel started to play.
Unforgettable that's what you are
Unforgettable though near or far
Like a song of love that clings to me
How the thought of you
does things to me
Never before, Honey
has someone been more
Unforgettable in every way
and forever more
that's how you'll stay
That's why darling it's incredible
that someone so unforgettable
thinks that I am unforgettable too
The two girls smiled at each other; they had made a friend in one another.
Puck's clapping boomed from the back of the auditorium. Julianne grabbed
Rachel's hand and dragged her to center stage with her. They took a bow.
"ENCORE!" Puck shouted from the back.
"SHUT UP, WILMA!" Julianne called back.
She faced Rachel, and in her most Karen-esque manner she pointed to her,"Honey, what is this? What's happening? What's going on here?"
Rachel and Julianne hugged each other,"Rach, you're awesome!"
Rachel faced Julianne,"And you're fabulous!"
Julianne looked at Rachel,"I KNOW!" she sighed dramatically.
The three ate their lunch on the stage.
4½- Jesus loves me; this I know! For the teacher tells me so!
Today in Glee, Puck walked in three minutes after Julianne. That was because Santana, Brittany, and Kurt walked her there. When they sat, Julianne had Kurt on her left, and they turned backwards to see Brittany and Santana; Tina took the empty seat next to Julianne, and on Tina's right was Puck; in front of Puck, was Rachel. Everyone was in glee except Finn.
Mr. Schuester walked into the Glee room. "Hey, guys!"
"Is he always this happy?" Julianne whispered.
"It's either he's banged the councilor, or we have a new project. Or both, I think. He has lipstick on his collar, and his hair is more messed up than normal." Julianne laughed at Kurt's statement. Kurt raised his hand, and Schue motioned him to go ahead. "Um, Mr. Schuester? Sorry to rain on your parade; but, you have a little something on your collar." Mr. Schue blushed in what had to be the most ADORABLE shade of pink, and took out a moist towelette (probably courtesy of Ms. Pillsbury); the lipstick stain was gone. He was still smiling,"New projects?" Kurt sighed.
"Yes, Kurt. And, the project is duets. I already picked your partners. One of you will be a trio. Okay, here it goes:
Kurt and Julianne
Finn and Tina
Artie and Quinn
Santana, Brittany and Mercedes
Mike and Matt
And Rachel and Puck."
Rachel and Puck sat with eyes and mouth wide open. Kurt and Julianne tried to stifle their giggles.
"Jesus loves me. He heard my prayers and answered it in the form of a laid Mr. Schuester!" Kurt smiled.
"Hey! You're not the only one who prayed about this!" Julianne nudged him. Both wished they had a camera to record the surprise and shock that settled into Rachel and Puck's faces.
Mr. Schuester went into his office to get something and Puck and Rachel STILL had that expression. Julianne skipped to the front of the room and took one candid picture of the whole glee club with her iPhone. She smiled and shouted, "Everyone smile!" for a second picture. Rachel and Puck were immediately pulled out for their daze and put on a smile like the rest of the gleeks. "Thanks!" Julianne said after, and she walked back to her seat in the second row next to Kurt.
"What the hell?" he whispered.
Julianne zoomed in to the first picture; Puck and Rachel sat with mouths agape. "Oh my gosh, copy that and send it to me!" Kurt liked this devious little Puckerman, a lot.
"We should do Streisand's and Garland's 'Hooray for Love' medley!" Julianne smiled at Kurt,"I call Streisand."
"Fine, I get Garland."
"Everyone get situated with your partners, and start brainstorming. And absolutely NO changing partners!" Schue said from his office.
Rachel and Puck were pulled back into their daze. Julianne went to go help Rachel, and Kurt went to go help Puck.
"Rachel? Rachel, honey?" Julianne started to wave her hand in front of the diva's face.
"Um, Puck? Puck?" Kurt started to wave his hand in front of Puck's face. "Hey Puck! Cougar at 12o'clock!" Puck shook his head and looked at Kurt,"Just kidding! Mr. Schue said to brainstorm with your partner. And 'absolutely NO changing partners!'"
Julianne stared at Rachel for a sec, then rolled her eyes "Rachel, Patti LuPone is here to see you." Rachel shook her head,"Kidding! Schue said to get with your partner and brainstorm for the duet. And he said no changing partners!" Rachel sighed and took a seat next to Puck. Julianne and Kurt sat almost exactly behind them, but Santana, Britt and Mercedes were already sitting there. Kurt sat to Santana's left, and Julianne sat next to Kurt. Tina sat next to Julianne.
"I find it odd that your brother and Rachel are perfect for each other. And they don't seem to notice." Tina whispered to Julianne.
"I know, right!" Julianne and Kurt responded.
"They're so blind to the fact that their soul mate is sitting right next to them." Tina shook her head.
"Mhm, so you think they need glasses. I thought they just needed to marry each other, that's all. Why the hell do they need glasses, Tina? They're not blind! They have perfect eyesight!" Tina and Kurt started to crack up. Everyone stared them.
Of course, her brother is the first to speak,"What's with these loons?"
"All I did was explain my reasoning behind my thought on nearly blind people wearing glasses and how instead of that, they could do something other than wear glasses; contacts . . . After I explained my theory, I find that I am the Kelso to their Eric and Hyde!" Julianne exclaimed nonchalantly.
Rachel looked back at the three of them,"What's going on?"
It was then, that everybody (except for Rachel) realized what the three of them had been talking about. All of the gleeks, except for Julianne, Puck and Rachel laughed. It was the fact that Rachel and Finn were totally oblivious to the fact that she and Puck were perfect together. Julianne had told Puck previously that Rachel and him were perfect for each other. And by the looks of everyone (except Rachel) they all thought the same. Puck didn't acknowledge or enforce their thoughts.
"Tina, Kurt and I were just talking, Doll." Julianne smiled at Rachel.
"About what?" Rachel asked.
"Ducks wearing glasses, and me secretly being a banana; s'no biggy." Julianne shrugged.
When Tina looked up at Rachel she fanned herself, knowing she was still red in the face from laughing. Julianne put her hands on her hips.
Tina cocked her head to the side, "Rachel? Have you noticed that you and Julianne are almost EXACTLY the same?"
"Like fucking TWINS!" Kurt fanned himself with his hands.
"How are we alike? Other than our obvious talent and love for musical theater, how?" Rachel looked.
Quinn's eyebrows went up,"HOW? Berry. Really? Do we really have to list?"
"Well, go on then. I'd like to hear the similarities." Rachel motioned Quinn to go ahead, then she placed her hands on her hips.
"Two gay dads." Kurt said first.
"Same middle name." Tina interjected.
"Your, umm . . . vernaculars are very uh . . . OH! Your vernaculars are very elephant!" Brittany smiled.
"I think what you meant to say was the word: eloquent." Julianne smiled at her blonde friend.
"The way both of you have your hands on your hips." Artie stated.
"Jewish Divas." Mercedes smiled at her comment.
"My mom likes you both, and you call me 'Noah' everywhere."
"You put a star after your name." Mike added.
"Same taste in slushies, you met your mom this year, and your gay dad's cannot sew for the life of them." Julianne thought back to her conversation with Puck; she had heard this all before. It's just that NOW it hit her.
"You both are sisters to Puck. Julianne in the literal and Rachel in the non." Quinn looked up.
"You girls are REALLY SUPER SMART!" Matt exaggerated.
"Both if you own more CDs than shoes!" Puck smiled.
"You both are fabulous actresses." Kurt and Tina giggled.
Mr. Schue came out of his office for a second,"What are you guys doing?"
"Listing ways that Rachel is like Julianne because Rachel just can't see it." Quinn looked at Schue.
"You both have initiative. And you have a rock-hard goal set for Broadway after you graduate Julliard or Tisch NYU." Mr. Schuester went back into his office
"Really?" Rachel looked up at Julianne.
"Yes, really. Can we move on no-"
"NO!" Quinn almost shouted.
"Both of you are really great pianists." Artie nodded.
"Your favorite song is from none other than 'Wicked' of course!" Kurt crossed his legs.
"Your favorite ice cream is just plain chocolate." Tina looked at her friends.
"Both of you love Fruity Pebbles." Brittany added giddily. Rachel and Julianne were dazed for a second, then both started to stare into space.
"Both of them are hot . . . when Rachel takes off those hideous sweaters!" Santana pursed her lips.
"You're right!" Brittany looked at Santana.
"You both have BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS HAIR." Kurt stressed. Rachel and Julianne were pulled out of space. The class just stared at him,"They have sexy, luscious hair and all of you are jealous."
"Okay, can we move to differences before I find out that we're blood related or something of that sort?" Julianne asked.
"You can play the ukelele!" Mike looked at Julianne.
"You have impeccable style!" Kurt looked at Julianne, too.
"HEY!" Rachel looked up at Kurt.
"It's okay honey, we'll go shopping later!" Kurt patted Rachel's head.
"Julianne's younger." Tina pointed out.
"Rachel, when's your birthday?" Artie asked, obviously curious.
"The 25th of September." she responded.
"Jules?" Kurt looked at Julianne.
"The 25th of October."
"That's really weird." Mike's eyes looked very big.
"Don't you think we know that already!" Julianne and Rachel exclaimed in perfect unison.
"Puck's gone out with Rachel." Mercedes shrugged while Julianne smiled.
"Are there any pictures of that?"
"Kurt probably has some pictures." Rachel crossed her arms and tapped her foot playfully.
"Shut up! I had to convince myself it was real. You guys are a match made in heaven, actual soul mates. I asked someone to pinch me to make sure I wasn't dreaming." Kurt defended.
"It's in the yearbook too. The 'Cutest Couples' page." Matt smiled.
"Did I REALLY miss out on this stuff? Noah, do you have a yearbook?" Julianne looked at Puck.
"No, I don't buy that shit. Why didn't anyone tell me!" Puck scanned the room.
"I don't buy the yearbook; though I know that my fathers buy the yearbook behind my back. I didn't know anything about this." Rachel looked at the door.
Santana stood up and went to Mr. Schuester's office to ask for a yearbook. When she came out with one, she handed it to Julianne.
"It's on page 38!" Santana and Kurt exclaimed excitedly, then laughed.
When Julianne found the page, Puck thought Julianne's eyeballs were going to pop right out of their sockets.
"Wow. Making out and holding hands! Where the HELL was I!" Julianne looked pleasantly amused.
Puck snatched the yearbook from his sister's hand. "I remember THAT!"
Rachel took the yearbook from Puck, "Oh gosh, I remember that." Rachel blushed a soft pink and handed the yearbook to Julianne, who then handed it to Kurt.
"Oh BOY, do I remember THAT!" Kurt rolled his eyes and handed the yearbook to Tina who just laughed.
"Kurt screamed 'PDA!' at the top of his lungs to stop Puck from eating Rachel's face off!" Tina then giggled.
"That's because Rachel has REALLY soft lips," Puck pulled Rachel onto his lap,"and a REALLY nice tongue." Puck and Rachel smiled at each other, and they went for it. Of course, Kurt took pictures and Julianne took a video. It went on like this for about 8 minutes.
"As much as me and the glee club want you to marry each other . . . STOP MAKING OUT YOU HORNY BASTARDS!" Quinn glared at the two when they finally detached from one another, "Have sex on your own time!" Rachel blushed at Quinn's comment.
"My turn!" Santana exclaimed; she hopped down to where Rachel was sitting, and started to kiss her. Rachel just thought "What the hell! Live a little." and went with it . . . for three minutes.
"RACHEL! That was HOT!" Brittany exclaimed.
Santana went back to her seat,"I CALL RACHEL! I mean it, she's my new girlfriend. And if any of you treat her bad, I will break your sorry ass!-PUCKERMAN! HANDS OFF my girl!"
Puck took his hands off Rachel's hips, "You've got a girlfriend, Berry! Congrats!" Puck placed Rachel back in her seat.
"Rachel just became lesbian, and I got it all on video. If she's a polygamist and marries Santana and Puck, I will be the happiest gay man in the WORLD!" Kurt exclaimed joyfully.
"Just wait," Rachel paused,"I just made out with my ex and one of the Cheerios. I have become bisexual, and Santana is my new girlfriend?"
"Yes!" Kurt, Puck, Santana, Julianne, Quinn, and Tina responded.
"Um okay, wow." Rachel shook her head and tried to contemplate the situation.
Mr. Schuester came out of his office and told his class,"Glee is over for today."
Santana came up to Rachel,"I'm coming over to your house today. Kay, babe?" Santana walked away with Brittany.
"What THE FUCK just happened?" Rachel asked herself.
"You are bi, Santana is your girlfriend, and you're marrying Puck." Kurt explained with a smile.
"And I took the bus." Rachel sighed.
"C'mon Rach, we'll give you a ride." Julianne exclaimed.
"Thanks." Rachel hugged Julianne,"So, are you guys picking up Hannah today?" she asked, curious.
"Nah, she's sleeping over at her friend's house tonight." Puck answered. "Are you okay, Rachel?"
"No; I don't know what happened!" Rachel exclaimed.
"You made out with me-which we should to some more often. Then, you and Santana made out-which was hot. And now Kurt and Julianne have planned our wedding at some Gershwin theatre in New York." they stopped in front of Julianne's locker.
Rachel smiled,"Do you mind if I take you up on your first offer?"
"Gladly." Puck wrapped his arms around her waist, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.
Julianne laughed when Kurt came holding his cellphone and snapping pictures. And of course, Julianne shot a video of the two.
"Tomorrow at the Gershwin is going to be magical." Kurt sighed dreamily. The couple detached themselves from each other as their 10 minute make out session (I mean, who's counting?-Kurt was . . .) came to an end.
"That was hot." Puck smiled at Rachel.
"You weren't too bad yourself, Noah." Rachel smiled.
"PLEASE tell me you're going to name your babies Kristin Arabella and Sean Henry." Kurt pleaded.
"Kristin Arabella is nice, but Sean Henry-" Rachel was cut off by Puck.
"Is gay. How about Derrick, baby?"
"Kristin Arabella Berry Puckerman and Derrick Andrew Puckerman. I like it, babe!" Rachel kissed Puck, and looked back at Kurt. Puck's arm was now around her waist.
"Babs, tell me I'm dreaming." Kurt looked towards Julianne.
Julianne shrugged,"You're not dreaming, hon. Rachel's into polygamy now; and she's pregnant."
"I LOVE THIS!" Kurt exclaimed. "I think I'm going to go tweet about it.-Goodbye, best friend and sexy beasties!" Kurt waved as he practically ran out the front door of McKinley High.
Rachel and Puck smiled at him, and Julianne walked down the hall calling for them to hurry up. "COME ON Elphaba and Fiyero! If you don't walk fast enough, I'll hurt you!"
