Hello and welcome to the re-written version of Chapter Four! I hope you all enjoy and thank you for reading!
Mere days had passed since Brian and Lois had begun their torrid affair. While it was clear that Lois was unaffected by their situation, if not happier than before, Brian on the other hand was drastically changing. But no one realized this more than Stewie, who had spent considerable time observing the family dog.
'Come on Brian, something's going on and you're not telling me what it is. If you don't tell me, I'll just torture it out of you.'
'Torture me all you want Stewie, I don't care,' Brian responded nonchalantly, ignoring Stewie's uttered profanities.
'Blast it Brian what is the matter with you? I know it's something to do with Lois because you keep avoiding her. Now tell me, or god damn it I will go back in the past and follow you until I find out what you have been hiding from me!'
'Well I'm going to meet Jillian in an hour, so you don't have that long to pester me,' Brian answered, carelessly flicking through the morning newspaper as Lois brushed behind him.
Smelling the distinct fragrance that he had bought Lois, she knew he would pick up on the way it hung around her. Freshly applied.
'So Brian, what are you doing today?' she asked, having waited somewhat impatiently for him to greet her. Repeating the same answer he had just given Stewie, Brian noted the slight alteration in her tone of voice.
'I thought you saw her last week?' she returned, the hint of jealousy prompting Brian to raise a brow at her. 'I'm surprised you two get along, considering everything you went through. Then the fact that she got married to that guy Derek…'
'Well we do hang out and I can meet up with her when I want,' Brian cut in, the edge in his voice telling her to drop the subject.
'Well, don't be late back, Peter won't be out all night you know.'
Feeling Stewie's eyes burning into him, Brian waited until she was
'So what are you doing today?' she asked casually, Brian repeating his remark to Stewie and picking up on the clear altering of tone in her voice.
'I thought you saw her last week?' she responded, Brian raising a brow at her jealousy…
'I'm surprised the two of you get along,' she added,
'Well we do and I can meet up with her when I want,' he replied with an edge to his voice that told her to drop it.
'Well don't be late back. Peter won't be out all night you know.'
Feeling Stewie's eyes burning into him, Brian waited until she was out of the room before finally meeting the toddlers gaze.
'What?'
'Oh god Brian, don't tell me your seriously banging Lois.'
'I don't wanna talk about it right now.'
Getting up from the table and ignoring Stewie as he slipped out of the side door, Brian was quick to get in the car and drive off before Lois could catch him off guard. Backing off the drive and heading down the road with more speed than necessary, Brian reprimanded himself and eased off as he rounded the corner. He needed the getaway from home and right now, that getaway came in the form of a coffee shop in town…
~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~
Pulling up outside, Brian got out just as his phone buzzed in his pocket, though the fact Jillian stood by a different car than usual took his attention.
'New car?' he questioned, having expected to see her Jetta.
'Hi Brian, yeah my old one got written off after another car collided with it.'
'What? My god, are you okay?'
'I'm fine, it was parked outside my apartment when it happened. I just got the insurance money through and bought this,' she smiled indicating the blue Mazda RX-8 beside her.
'Nice.' Relieved that Jillian was okay, Brian glanced at the message on his phone as they walked in together and got a table.
Thanks for last night Brian…I haven't felt such a rush in months! Can't wait until our next encounter. Hurry back…
Ignoring the message for the time being, Brian's attention was quickly brought back to Jillian.
'So why did you call? You don't normally sort out the arrangements.'
'I know, I just thought it'd be nice to spend a bit more time together as friends,' he lied, the excuse being to get him away from Lois for a while.
'Oh, okay!' Jillian replied happily, having no suspicions, something that Brian had expected from her.
'So if you've got some free time do you maybe wanna go and see a movie or something?
'I dunno, I'm not even convinced I'm good company just for coffee right now,' Brian admitted, Jillian tilting her head slightly as she considered his remark.
'Well, maybe you should get a girlfriend. You are over me now, right?'
'Yeah, it's just complicated. Things don't feel solid for me in any area,'
'You do seem pretty distant. You should be more open...'
'In what way?'
'Well, I don't see you as often as other people, but who do you spend time with other than me?'
'Well…' he began, when the thought really hit him for the first time. He didn't really have many friends at all. At least, very few that weren't already friends with the Griffin's. Sure there was Joe, Cleveland…Quagmire, but if it weren't for Peter, he wouldn't be friendly with any of them. In terms of women, most of his ex's refused to see or speak to him. There was only Lois or Jillian he felt he could really speak too about things the guys wouldn't understand. But now, even Lois wasn't a viable option.
He knew he had Stewie. But Stewie was just a toddler and in terms of friends who didn't revolve around the Griffin household, Brian realised he was very isolated.
'I guess I've been so wrapped up in everything that I hadn't noticed,' he responded truthfully, wrapping his paws around the coffee cup as he glanced down.
'You need to get out more. Why don't we just go for a walk after we've been here? We don't need to go far, just take a chance to take some time out. You work too hard.'
'I guess half an hour wouldn't hurt,' he agreed, Jillian's enthusiasm bringing a smile to his face. Despite all her dimwitted personality traits, when it came down to it, Brian knew she was a kind and caring woman. Well intentioned were the best words to describe her. Even though Brian knew she wouldn't have been the one for him and getting back together with Jillian would always be a wrong move, he was glad to have her in his life.
The question was, did he see Lois in the same way? He spent so long pining after things he thought he needed in his life as soon as they became unobtainable, that he didn't think it through. Lois had always been married, but perhaps that had been part of the appeal?
Remembering that they had been married once and the way that Lois handled the whole affair told him that she could be less than reliable. With that in mind, Brian considered the possibility that being with Lois, was just as wrong as being with Jillian. Even if it were for very different reasons…
'Brian, you've gone really quiet.'
Shaking off his clouded thoughts, Brian quickly came back to the conversation at hand.
'Sorry, I just thought you might like to chat for a while. I always seem to be talking about stuff to do with my life and I worried you'd be bored,' he shrugged,
'Well…seen as you mentioned it, I saw a fascinating thing the other night in the sky. It was all bright and glowing. There wasn't just one either, there were loads of them. Kind of like how there are loads of people in America.'
'Stars?' he guessed.
'Yeah! How'd you know that,'
'Just a guess…'
Yeah, Jillian definitely isn't my type.
Before Brian knew it, the time had come to go home. With the light dimming as the sun set, Brian walked Jillian to her car, giving her a brief hug and a goodbye before returning to his Prius. Determined to ignore his cell, Brian put it in the holster, and considered his walk with Jillian as he drove home. His mind had been on life, the hardships and the regrets. Although he hadn't taken much in of what Jillian talked about, she remained oblivious to his silence and thanked him for a great afternoon. If there was one thing he could count on, it was that Jillian would never press him with too many questions. For that he was more grateful than he could ever express to her.
Having watched her leave before driving off himself, Brian considered one of the things Jillian could actually do with competence. She might not be that smart, but when it came to driving, she definitely excelled.
As his mind returned to the problems at hand, Brian wondered why he continued to do something that made him so unhappy, the question bothering him until he remembered what Meg had once told him. She was the lightning rod that held the family together. By having one person to blame everything on it kept life as normal as possible. In Brian's situation however, keeping Lois happy, meant that the family could have a stronger chance of getting back to normal. Though as he reckoned with himself that it couldn't get any worse, Brian had no idea just how wrong he was.
~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~
Upon his arrival home, Brian was relieved to see Peter's car in the driveway, knowing that Lois couldn't act suspiciously around him. Walking in the house and smelling a casserole from the kitchen, Brian quickly joined the family and made it through dinner without any problems. For the most part, the family dog ate as a subconscious effort, his mind more focused on how Meg and Chris were. They were fighting, which for them was a good sign. Though he couldn't help but notice how Meg's arms had healed from her last attempt at cutting herself. Peter made no comments either, although when food was concerned, it was hard to deter him.
Noting the way that Stewie constantly focused his attention on him, Brian remained grateful that Stewie was just a toddler and so his actions went unnoticed by the rest of the family. His attitude was unimpressed, clearly still irritated by Brian's arrogant behavior that morning. Though eventually it seemed to simmer away and lose it's harsh edge as Stewie finally returned to his own meal.
Following dinner; the family sat to watch TV and converse, though their choice of program didn't hold much interest for Brian. Using that as an excuse to go to bed, Stewie followed me, leaving me with little option but to carry him upstairs, knowing full well what was about to happen as I took him into his room and shut the door.
'Right dog, you can put me down now. So are you going to tell me what you've been doing with Lois? Or am I seriously going to have to torture it out of you?'
'Depends. Do you think I'm going to tell you?' Brian responded, Stewie having no doubt in his answer.
'Brian, I know you are, because I have ways of finding out. So it really depends on how you want it to come out. You can tell me, or I find out myself and inform everyone. Your choice.' His threat was empty, but Brian knew he had to tell someone; the guilt had been driving him insane. Unlike Jillian, Brian knew he would get, at least to some degree, reasonable advice from Stewie.
'Fine.'
~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~
As Stewie sat on the edge of his crib and listened, Brian explained everything, from buying Lois the bottle of perfume, to their unintended end to dinner and all that had gone on since. Leaving out some of the finer details that he was too ashamed to share, Brian knew the basis of it was completely clear. During the course of his explanation, Stewie went through a range of emotions, from mild surprise, to concern and finally, disappointment.
'Well, I knew the bitch had low standards, and cheating on the fat man hardly seems out of her range,' he remarked more to himself than to Brian.
'Look Stewie, you can't tell anyone about this,' Brian urged, the desperation clear in his tired eyes.
'I won't. If it was anyone else I'd have taken photos and put them up around town,' Stewie responded, the thought of exposing his mother's affair in such a cruel way bringing him incredibly delight. Seeing Brian shift uncomfortably, however, Stewie quickly changed his approach.
'Don't worry Brian; I'm not going to do anything. I'm a baby remember? The only people who it would matter to can't understand me anyway. Although if things go sour and you need Lois…taken care of…I can hook you up. But, if you don't mind me asking, how did you convince her to go through with it? I mean, you never got anywhere with Lois when you were married to the woman.'
'Hey, she came on to me,' Brian replied, adding that he was serious at Stewie's expression.
'I don't understand it anymore than you do.'
'You don't seem very…satisfied. I thought you'd be happy banging Lois? God knows you've been drooling over her for years.'
'I wasn't drooling over- that's not the point. I know I don't feel right about it. It feels nothing like I dreamt it would.'
'Maybe it's guilt,' Stewie shrugged. 'It's not as though it's a clean-cut situation.'
'I know, I haven't felt this guilty since I got addicted to drugs working as a police dog,' Brian sighed. 'But it all just feels so wrong and I can't back out of it. Every time I try and voice doubts, she cuts me off or gets me into bed and then all rational thought disappears.'
'Well Brian, the answer is simple. Don't let her have her way with you,' Stewie began, 'play her at her own game.'
'Stewie I'm having an affair; it's not easy okay? I don't know how I managed to get myself into such a mess. I'm spiraling downhill all the time and I don't know how much more I can take of things going wrong.'
'Well how did you cope with your problems before now?' Stewie queried, answering his own question at Brian's ashamed expression.
'Drink?'
'Drink never solved my problems. I just used it as a way to cope and look where it got me. Nowhere. I've achieved nothing in my life, I've just wasted it.'
'What about your son Dylan, when he first came here, he had no idea of morals, but you bonded with him…'
'Oh yeah, that was real fatherly. I bonded with him because we both got high on pot. Stewie every time my life has gotten tough I fall back on things that make me forget it. It's all self-inflicted.'
'Brian, just because you've made errors in your past, doesn't mean you have to bring them in your future.'
'I have nothing worthwhile in my future. I have nothing Stewie. You know what Jillian asked me today? She asked me who my friends are and really, who do I have? They're all Peter's friends, not mine. I have acquaintances. That's it. Look at me; I'm a dog who's never found anyone to share my interests with. Whenever I even come close I mess it up.'
'You need to stop chasing your tail Brian. No pun intended, but you are going round in circles. If you want to change your life, do it. Ditch Lois if you're not happy, she'll get over it. Forget about your mistakes and start anew. It'd be easier on you if you did. We all do things we're not proud of. But the past is written in ink. The best part about the future is you can turn the page and write it however you want it to be.'
'Yeah, your right Stewie. I think I just need to go and lie down for a while.'
'Just don't let her get a hold on you. If you can't do it, don't, because the farther you go to make her happy, the more you'll resent yourself every day.'
Watching Brian leave the room, Stewie sat back and sighed. He had watched his friend go through so many things over the years, but this he feared, could result in something that even he wasn't sure he could prevent.
Well there you have it, chapter four is re-written and chapter five will be following soon!
~x-xMasqueradeAngelx-x
