Chapter 4

Tris P.O.V.

After Four drops me off, I go and take a shower and walk to Chrissy's. I knock on the door and hear someone, most likely Chrissy, say, "I've got it, Mom!" She opens the door and says, "Hey, right on time."

I smile and step inside. She directs me to her basement and says, "Okay, this is where we are practicing so my obnoxious little sister doesn't bother us."

"How old is she?" I ask.

"11."

"Oh."

"So it'll go, Me, you, me, you, and so on, then the Chorus will be both of us?" she asks.

"Yep. So let's do it."

Me:

Ever wonder about what he's doing?

Her:

How it all turned to lies?

Me:

Sometimes I think that it's better to never ask why
Both:
Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try

Me:

Funny how the heart can be deceiving

Her:

More than just a couple times

Me:
Why do we fall in love so easy?

Her:
Even when it's not right

Both:
Where there is desire

There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try

Me:
Ever worry that it might be ruined

Her:
And does it make you wanna cry?

Me:
When you're out there doing what you're doing

Her:
Are you just getting by?

Me:
Tell me are you just getting by, by, by?

Both:
Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try x8

"Trissy, that was so good!" she exclaims. I just smile. "So, when you said we were done practicing, you'd tell me what happened with that song…"

I stop smiling. "Okay. Sit down. When I was at my old school last year, Millennium, I was bullied. A lot. I was getting really depressed. That's what I meant by Going Under, the song by Evanescence. Then," I take a deep breath, ready for the unwanted pity that's about to come from her. "Then, my brother and I got in a car accident. He wouldn't let me drive home from the party, even though he was drunk and I was sober. He drove into a ditch and the car was flipped. I called 911 and I had a broken leg and a concussion. My brother, he… 'the doctors tried, they really did,' is what my mom said to me. He died that night. Then I was Going Under even more. I didn't blame myself for his death, but we had an inseparable bond, even though he was two years older than me. We moved the next summer to this school. And here I am, with the friends I never wanted to make. I was hesitant because when we became friends yesterday, I thought I would lose all of you. But I'm glad because I love all of you guys."

I finish with tears streaming down my face, but Chrissy is bawling and hugging me. "I love you, too."

"I should get going," I say once we pull apart.

"Okay," she says as she wipes her face.

"Oh, and Chrissy?" I ask.

"Yeah?" she sniffles.

"Can you not tell anyone? I want to tell them when I'm ready."

"Of course." We walk up the stairs and she hugs me one last time. "Bye."

"Bye, Chrissy."

I walk home and fall asleep before even hitting the bed.

It's now Friday afternoon, the day of Zeke and Uriah's party, and, honestly, I am not very excited. Reasoning? One) Chrissy is making me wear make-up. Two) They probably want me to drink. Three) I have a feeling we'll be stripping at some point tonight since I've been told to wear layers.

I am walking into The Pit now and I am approached Brian saying, "Hey, still up for that dinner offer?"

"Brian, I'm flattered, really, but I told you I have a boyfriend."

"So?" he shrugs.

"So, I'm not cheating on him." I start to walk away but he grabs my wrist.

"C'mon babe."

"No, Brian. Let go."

"Stop, playing hard to get." He tightens his grip on my wrist.

"Brian, stop, you're hurting my wrist."

"Not unless you come with me so we can have some fun." He starts to drag me out but I say,

"No. Brian, I really didn't want to do this."

"Oh, please, you can't hurt—" I punch him square in the jaw, then stomach and finally, knee him in the stomach and kick him to the ground.

"Touch me one more time, Brian, and worse will happen," I say and walk towards the punching bags.

I put my earbuds in, then I put wrap on my hands and start punching the bag violently, pretending it's Brian. I turn on some Black Veil Brides because these are my 'I'm- angry-and-want-to-kill-someone-songs'. I hit the bag even harder than I was previously, using my elbows and knees, like Four told me to.

I feel someone poke my shoulder and I turn to see Four. "Hey," I say through gritted teeth and keep punching violently. I kick it one more time and it falls off of the chains.

"What's wrong, Tris?" he asks, concerned.

"Can we talk about it later? Café?" I ask and he nods. I move to the next bag and start hitting it violently. Four goes to the other one next to me that's not broken and starts hitting it, too. I put everything I have into this bag. I hit for so long I don't even notice. I'm supposed to be at Chrissy's at 7, and the party starts at 8. Right now, It's 6.

"Four, can we go to the Café now?" I ask.

"Yeah."

We take the wrap off of our knuckles and leave without a word. Once parked, we get out and step into the restaurant. "You're not paying for me this time, I'm actually eating dinner here."

"Okay, what are you getting?" he asks.

"A turkey sandwich," I answer plainly.

We are next in line and he says, "Can I get a ham sandwich and a turkey sandwich?" he asks the woman behind the counter.

"Four! You are such an ass!"

"That'll be $8.50." He hands her the money and we wait for our sami's. Yes, I call them 'sami's', okay?

"Thanks," I say to him.

"Well, that was easier than I thought," he says.

"Only because I don't feel like arguing," I smirk. The woman calls us up for our sami's and we sit down where we sat on Tuesday.

I take a bite of my sami and he says, "So… about that punching bag…" he says.

I sigh, "Brian asked me out again. I said no because you are my fake boyfriend and he said he didn't care, then grabbed my wrist and said 'we were going to have some fun'." I said putting quotations with my fingers. "I then punched his jaw and stomach and kneed in him in the stomach. After that I kicked him to the ground." I smile at the last part devilishly and so does Four, but I can see he's still tense.

It's a two-person high table; it's small so I can see his face with every emotion. His hand reaches for mine under the table and I lace them together. "Good, he deserves it," he says, while smiling. I let go and eat the rest of my sami. When I finish, I thank Four. "Any time."

"So, if I recall from Tuesday, you have a guy that you like?" he asks.

I blush. "Uh, yeah, why?" I question.

"Will he be attending this party?"

"Yes…" I reply.

"How do you know?" he smirks.

"Um…" How do you get out of this one, Tris? "Chrissy says everyone at school comes."

"Oh," he says.

"But I know he's coming, in fact, Zeke even said he was coming," I smirk as I play with him.

"Oh, really?" he asks.

"Uh, yeah. Apparently, he and Zeke know each other pretty well."

"That's weird, considering he doesn't talk to anyone outside of the group," he smirks. He might be getting the idea. I just shrug.

"I should probably get going, I'm supposed to be at Chrissy's at 7 o'clock."

"Okay, let's go," he says, still smirking. We get into his truck and he drives me home. Because the gentleman he is, he walks me up to my porch. Why does he have to be so perfect?!

"Um, thanks for dinner. I'll see you later at the party?"

"Yes, for sure," he smirks and walks back to the truck.

I go inside and take a shower. I put on a sweatshirt and jeans, knowing Chrissy and Mar will just change me , anyway.

I walk over to Chrissy's and right when I'm about to knock the door swings open and Chrissy grins and pulls me inside. We walk down to the basement and hands me clothes ushering me to the bathroom.

Once I'm inside I actually look at the clothes. It's a dark purple ruffle tank with a black biker jacket over it and black, ripped skinny jeans. Okay, I have to admit, I am in love with this outfit. I put the jeans on over the spandex I'm wearing because I really do not want to be seen in my underwear. I am also wearing a tank top under my ruffle tank top. I actually look pretty good. Who woulda thought? I laugh. I walk out and Mar and Chrissy start exploding on how cute I look.

"Now for make-up!" Marlene yells excitedly.

"Fine," I say.

"Okay, we're going to do mascara, eyeliner, and blush, okay?"

"Whatever." When they are done I look in the mirror and almost gasp. "I look… not half-bad," I smile.

They laugh and we start to head out. Chrissy drives there and once we are at their house, it is packed. We walk in and Chrissy and Mar immediately find Will and Uriah. I am left alone so I go to get a drink—water, of course. No way in hell I'll be drinking alcohol—ever.

I am leaning against a wall when someone comes and stands next to me. I look up to see Four. He leans in and whispers in my ear, "You look good, Tris." I blush an insane color of red.

"How much have you had to drink, Four?" I ask, laughing and looking into his red cup.

"I don't drink," he winks and walks away. Oh my god, what just happened?

Chrissy walks over to me and says, "What'd Four say?!"

"He said I looked good then I asked how much he's had to drink, and he said he doesn't drink."

"Girl. Girl, he totally likes you! Oh my gosh—"

I just walk away and lean against a wall for an hour until Zeke yells something, "LISTEN UP! UNLESS YOU ARE MY LITTLE SHIT-HEAD BROTHER, MY GIRLFRIEND, MARLENE, CHRISTINA, WILL, FOUR, OR TRIS, GET THE HELL OUT!" Everyone heads out and we gather in a circle. I sit next to Chrissy and Four.

"Okay, since Uriah has made a special alcoholic drink tonight, we are not playing truth or dare, but never have I ever," Zeke explains.

"Um, shots?" I ask. Chrissy gives me a worried look.

"Yeah, why?" Uri asks.

"I don't drink," I say plainly.

"C'mon, Trissy, loosen up a little." I hear a chorus of 'yeah's and 'C'mon's.

Tears are forming in my eyes. I've been crying way too much lately. "I think I'm going to go…" I stand up.

Then I hear as I'm walking away, "You guys she obviously has been through something around the topic, can't you see that?" from Chrissy.

"Oh, yeah, like you'd know, she'd never break down her walls," Zeke says.

"Really, then how come I know exactly what that was about?!" she storms out after me. "C'mon, I'm driving you home," she says angrily.

"No, it's okay, go hang out with them, I know my way from here," I wave her off.

"No, Tris, trust me, our friends are assholes when they're drunk. I don't want to hang out with them." We laugh.

"Have you had anything to drink?" I ask.

"No, it's okay, I'm totally sober."

"Thanks," I say.

She drives me home and when I walk into the door I see a note on the ground.

"Sweetie, Mom will be gone volunteering for a month and I will be in D.C. for a month. We left 2,000 dollars for you under your pillow to take care of yourself. I'm so sorry we won't be able to see you on Christmas. We love you,"

-Dad

I nod my head as I read the note and laugh. Tears are forming but I stop them. Of course, why would they not see their only kid on Christmas?!

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and it says 'unknown number'.

Hey r u ok?

Who's this?

4

I'm fine.

What was that abt, then?

Could you maybe use proper grammar? Lol.

Sorry, but seriously, are you okay?

Honestly Four, no, no I am not okay because my family is one screwed up mess right now.

I'm coming over.

Okay? I mean, I guess, you can… My parents aren't here.

That wasn't a question. I am on my way.

I roll my eyes and go downstairs to get something to eat. I start cutting up some strawberries when I hear the doorbell ring. I open the door without a word and don't make eye contact. I just walk into the kitchen and continue cutting the strawberries.

"So…"

"Would you like some strawberries?" I ask without looking up.

"Sure."

We stay in silence until I say, "You can take a seat across from me." I'm cutting on the island so there's two stools on the other side from where I'm standing. He sits down and watches me. I still haven't looked up into his ocean eyes. I put his strawberries into a bowl and slide it over to him and he says thanks.

"You know, I really I am not liking this depressed Tris," he sighs. I just shrug and sit down next to him and start eating my berries. "Tris, what happened back there?"

"Let's start from the beginning," I sigh. I tell him about Caleb, his drunk driving, the accident, trying, Going Under, and not wanting to let anyone in. "Then, when I got home, I found this note on the floor." I hand him the note, he reads it and sighs.

I stand up and put his and my bowl in the sink to wash off later.

He stands up too and I wonder what he is doing until he wraps me in his arms and hugs me. I put my hands around his waist and lay my cheek into his chest. As always, I feel an unexplainable feeling course through my body.

And I love it.

We just stand there in silence for a few minutes until I say, "I should probably get to bed," but neither of us let go until I do, five minutes later. "Bye, Four."

"Bye, Trissy."

"You know, have I ever mentioned to you guys that I hate that nickname?" I laugh.

"Yes, actually, you have, but we continue to do it because we love you," he smirks and walks out.

That night, I don't have any nightmares. I fall into a peaceful sleep.

Four P.O.V.

Did I really just say that? She probably thinks I meant it in a friendly way. Which I do, I don't love her like that yet. I've known her for five days. But when we talk it feels like I've known her for years. When we touch it feels like an eternity.

I drive home in my truck and find Marcus home. He's not supposed to be home until next month! Well, I know what's happening tonight.

I walk inside and am immediately hit with Marcus' words. "You pathetic excuse of a son, why are you home so late?!" he yells from another room.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize-" I am met with a punch to the jaw.

"Shirt." I lift up my shirt behind my back and I feel a stinging sensation on my back multiple times. "Go take a shower you filthy piece of shit."

I nod and go upstairs. I turn on the shower and get in running the nuclear hot water run down my newly scarred back. I get out and go to bed, not even taking any meds, because pain demands to be felt.

(A/N C'mon you guys I had to make that TFIOS reference XD)

It's Saturday morning now-more like afternoon, its 1 o'clock- I went to sleep last night at 3 A.M. I still want to go to the gym to blow of some steam, even though my back hurts like hell—well, that and I want to see Tris again. I don't know why she won't get out of my head. She's constantly there and I almost don't want her to leave.

I decide to text her and say, Gym?

Sure, I'll be there in 20.

I could pick you up, so you don't have to walk there.

Okay, I'll be ready in 10.

I go and put on gym shorts and an under armour shirt. I look outside and see Marcus's car gone. I go downstairs and find a note on the counter that says, 'I'll be back in a month, have a nice Christmas, you little shit. Here's some cash for the next month.' I find $4,000 next to the note and roll my eyes.

I grab a Gatorade from the fridge and head out the door into my truck with my gym bag. I drive to Tris's house and ring the doorbell. I hear a, "Come in!" I open the door and step inside.

I hear a rumbling the steps and see Tris with track shorts, a tight under armour shirt, and braided hair down her shoulder. "You look, uh, wow."

She blushes and looks down. "Um, are you ready?" I ask.

"Yeah, hang on," she runs into the kitchen and comes back out with a Gatorade and an apple. "Okay, let's go."

We walk into the gym and we go to the punching bags. "Crap," I see her digging around in her bag. "Hey, Four, I ran out of wrap can I have some?" she asks.

"No," I say. She gives me a shocked look. "I'm kidding. Of course, calm down," I laugh.

"You kept a straight face, so I was like, 'what the hell, Four?'" she laughs.

"Hand." I say.

"So demanding," she laughs as she rolls her eyes and gives me it.

I wrap both of her hands and she finally looks up at my face and touches it, "Four, what the hell happened to your jaw?"

Shit, lie, lie, lie. "Zeke and I were passing the soccer ball this morning and he hit me in the face like the little shit he is," I laugh.

She nods but doesn't seem to believe it. "Okay…"

We start punching the bags and she turns on her music. I steal and earbud like I did the other day and listen to the lyrics, 'These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase. When you'd cry, I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears. I held your hand, through all of these years.'

"Does this have to do with Caleb?" I ask. She flinches when I say his name. She nods and starts hitting harder. The next song comes on—Everybody's Fool, by, who else, Evanescence. It's about hiding who you really are behind your fake happiness. "You can relate to a lot of their songs, can't you?" I ask.

"Yeah."

"What about Bring me to Life? I've heard that one before."

"Well, I needed someone to save me from depression. One of the lyrics is, 'Save me from the nothing I've become.' The person that saved me from the nothing I had become, was Chrissy. And you, I think. I don't know," she shakes her head. We stopped punching now to talk. "I mean, I have friends now. I didn't have anyone to rely on before you and Chrissy. Not even my parents, obviously. I have everyone else in the group too, but I've really opened up to you and Chrissy." At this I smile and we go back to punching for another hour.

"Café?" I ask.

She checks her phone and says, "Wish I could, but Chrissy wants me to come over at 3:30 and it's already 3 o'clock," she sighs.

"That's okay, you ladies need girl time," I say.

"Four what the hell just came out of your mouth?" she laughs and we leave.

I drop her off and head over to Zeke's. He are Uri are almost done cleaning up the house. Zeke and Uri rush up to me as soon as I step in the door and start saying things I can't understand because they are both talking at once.

"GUYS," I say, "I can't understand both of you!"

Zeke says, "Have you see Trissy today? We feel really bad about last night and the whole drinking thing. Is she mad? Do you know why she wouldn't drink?"

"Answers: yes; good, you should; no; yes," I say. They both smile. "What?"

"You've seen Tris today," they both say, "and you know why she wouldn't drink."

"So? Chrissy knows too," I say.

"That's different," Uriah says. "She probably forced it out of her or Tris let it slip nd Chrissy got suspicious."

"Whatever," I glare.

"You really like her!" they both exclaim.

"Whatever helps you guys sleep at night."

"Yep, it's confirmed. You're walking away, which means you don't want to talk about it," Zeke says.

I say without turning around, "Yep. That's totally why I am walking away."

"ADMIT IT FOUR! I CAN READ MY BEST-FRIEND," Zeke yells.

I speed walk over there and get three inches away from his face and whisper, "Fine, I do like her." I back away and get into my truck. Pulling away, I see them both with goofy grins on their faces.

I want to thank all of my reviewers, but one in particular Lynda-Loyde because you helped me realize this was headed in the cliché direction so thanks for your review. I've have thought up a few things to make this story more original that I will be applying soon. Thanks- Reese. (I'm a girl if you're wondering XD)