Disclaimer: I do not own any characters
I couldn't sleep that night. I kept tossing and turning. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Carlisle's naked body. I felt awful for the thoughts occurring in my mind, the guilty conscious was creeping up on me. I shouldn't have been thinking of Edward's dad like that…but I just couldn't help it. He was just so…so breath taking. Mesmerizing even. I wanted to feel his lips against mine.
'I've brought you breakfast in bed' Edward grinned walking into my bedroom. He lay a tray down on my bed. On the tray was a glass of water, my pain relief, a gorgeous red rose, toast which was in the shape of love hearts, a cute cupcake and a folded up note. I smiled, he was romantic when he wanted to be but I couldn't understand why he had made me breakfast in bed?
'What's this all in aid of?' I questioned accusingly as if he had done something wrong.
'Nothing baby, I just wanted to show you how much I love you and to make up for how much of a jerk I've been lately. Now read the note…please?' He asked with his cute puppy dog eyes. I picked up the note and unfolded it.
'Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars –points of light and reason….And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty.
No long-term marriage is made easily, and there have been times when I've been so angry or so hurt that I thought my love would never recover. And then in the midst of near despair, something has happened beneath the surface. A bright little flashing fish of hope has flicked silver fins and the water is bright and suddenly I am returned to a state of love again – till next time. I've learned that there will always be a next time, and that I will submerge in darkness and misery, but that I won't stay submerged.
I loved you yesterday. I love you still. I always have…I always will. I promise to be there whenever you need me, because love never fails.
I love you Isabella Marie Cullen and I can't wait for our jellybean to arrive.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses from
Edward Anthony Masen Cullen'
I burst into tears. The guilt was taking over completely now. He wouldn't be saying any of this if he knew what had happened last night and my thoughts since. He would never forgive me. I moved the tray and got up out of bed. I changed from my, my little pony jammies into a black and white jumpsuit with some sparkly black flat shoes. I took a suitcase from under the bed, and began opening all the drawers which contained my clothes, and accessories. I started taking everything out and putting it in the suitcase. I couldn't stay there; I couldn't constantly be around Carlisle. I could hardly look Edward in the face, I fancied his father for god sake. How could I trust myself to be around Carlisle all of the time, especially when we would be alone whilst Esme and Edward went to work?
'Bella, what are you doing? Where are you going?' Edward began to panic.
'I'm sorry. I can't stay here. I need to get out of here.' I spoke quickly without breathing. Edward ran over to me, grabbed me, and pulled me away from the suitcase. He was trying to stop me from leaving. I was only going back to the cottage but I think he believed I was leaving him for good. His grip was getting tighter around my hands, and I began to panic, not able to breathe.
'Ed…Edward stop' I softly spoke. I began to feel faint; the room was spinning around me. I tried to get out of Edwards hold to sit down on the bed but he kept thinking I was trying to go back to pack. My breathing began to get shorter; I started to shake uncontrollably and began to sweat. Edward let go of my hands and I began to walk backwards and sat in the corner of the room shaking. Edward looked me straight in the eyes and fear took over his face.
'DAD, MOM' Edward ran outside to the top of the stairs to get help. Carlisle and Esme came racing upstairs into my room. They both looked at me sitting in the corner shaking and gasping for breath. Carlisle quickly walked towards me, and crouched down beside me.
'Bella, you're having a panic attack. I need you to cup your hands like this, and breathe slowly and steadily into your hands so we can steady your breathing' he gave me full eye contact and I noticed worry in his eyes. I suddenly didn't want him near me; I feared Edward would find out what I thought about his dad. I couldn't risk it.
'Get…Away…From…Me' I spoke gasping for breath after every word. My rib was beginning to hurt too with the short breaths. I pushed Carlisle away from me, not wanting him near me. He looked hurt, as if I had just stabbed him in the back. He walked away, following my wishes and Esme came to sit next me, and got me to steady my breathing. Once my breathing was back to normal, I broke down in Esme's arms, whilst Edward and Carlisle left the room.
Edwards POV
I couldn't believe what I had just seen. My wife had just pushed my dad away from her, as if he had hurt her or done something to make her upset. I swear if he has done anything to her I'll fucking kill him. I swiftly grabbed dad and pulled him out of the room onto the landing. I walked back towards Bella's room, popping my head around the door to make sure she was ok. She was leaning against my mom in tears. I abruptly walked back to dad in the landing.
'What the fuck have you done to her? If you've hurt her I'll fucking kill you and that's not a fucking threat that a fucking promise!' I growled accusingly. Dad's face went into total shock.
'How dare you accuse me of anything like that? I would never do anything to hurt Bella; she's a wonderful and beautiful young lady! You need to take a good fucking look in the mirror son! You've done this to her, she deserves so much better than you!' my dad shouted defensively. I couldn't believe he had just said that to me. How could he say something like that, I was supposed to be his son? It still didn't explain why she had pushed him away like that; he must have said something to upset her.
'She fucking pushed you away from her dad! I saw the way she fucking looked at you! You must have done something or said something to her!'
'It's called a panic attack! That's what happens when somebody has a panic attack! They get scared and fearful of people! She would have done the same to you.' dad explained.
'Then why didn't she do the same to mom?' I asked still doubting him very highly.
'Esme has been a mother figure to Bella since Renee left her. She trusts Esme more than she trusts us because Esme is like a second mom to her, she's always there for her and she can speak to her about stuff she can't with us. That is why she wasn't the same towards your mom.' Oh god, I had got it completely wrong and felt awful for accusing my dad.
'I'm so sorry dad. I just…just thought because of the way she was acting. I'm going to go check on her.' I said hugging my dad, apologizing deeply. He nodded and proceeded to walk to his office looking quite upset. I walked back towards Bella's room and saw my mom just coming out. She smiled but didn't say anything. I walked in and saw Bella lying on the bed, tears staining her face. I went over to the bed and lay beside her. Kissing her forehead.
'Are you ok?' I whispered.
'I'm sorry Edward. I just began to panic; I needed to get out of here. I felt like everything was closing in on me.' It looked like she was lying but I didn't want to question her too much but I just couldn't help to ask her one question.
'Bella. Answer me truthfully. Has my dad said anything or done anything to upset you?' I asked trying not to upset her. However it was too late, she jumped up out of bed.
'NO, of course not Edward! How could you even think that of your dad? Your dad would never do or say anything to hurt anyone, even if it was his worst enemy! I can't believe you would even think that!' she screamed at me before storming out of the room. I ran after her, trying to apologise.
'Bella, wait!'
'Fuck off Edward' she shouted back as she walked across the landing towards the library. I knew she was mad and I knew if I followed her to the library she would be even worse.
Bella's POV
I couldn't believe that Edward had even just asked that let alone thought it. Carlisle was a kind, compassionate and warm hearted man. He would never do anything to upset anyone, he wasn't like that. I walked into the library and went to find a book to read to cool off my anger. I decided on one of my all-time favorites Pride and Prejudice. I walked towards the brown leather seats, looking at the cover of Pride and Prejudice, before I looked up to notice Carlisle already sitting on them, watching me with every step I took. It looked like he had been crying and I noticed there was cuts on his knuckles like he had punched something. I sat down opposite him, and he never took his eyes off me once.
'I'm sorry. I just needed to get out of here after what happened last night…' I whispered, blushing at how silly it sounded.
'Bella, it was an accident you didn't know I was in the shower. We can't go on like this. If you don't feel comfortable living here anymore just because of that, then it is fine I totally understand but over something so stupid? Yes, it must have been embarrassing for us both, but who cares it happens to people all the time.' I nodded, but carried on blushing. 'There's something else isn't there?' Carlisle asked raising his eyebrow. I went to stand up, not knowing what to say but Carlisle put his hand on my knee stopping me. 'You have feelings for me don't you?'
'I..I..ermm…' I didn't know how to explain myself, I felt like a 13 year old teenage girl talking to their crush. Carlisle began to move towards me.
'I feel the same Bella. I have for a while now, since your birthday when you walked down the staircase in that gorgeous green dress and then when you cut your face and I stitched it up for you. That's when I first noticed how beautiful you were…and then tonight, I hated seeing you like that. I just wanted to hold you and tell you everything was going to be ok' we both began to move towards one another until our foreheads were touching. I smiled before he pressed his lips too mine and I willingly kissed him back. I began to run my hands through his hair before suddenly pulling back.
'I'm sorry. I can't do this.' I apologised catching my breath. I wanted to carry on kissing him so bad, it wouldn't have gone any further than kissing for definite but I loved Edward, I had took a vow to never be unfaithful too him. I was carrying his child too, which made it even worse. What was I doing?
'Please…Bella?' Carlisle begged. 'We can make this work!' I knew I was betraying Edward if I agreed but I was falling for Carlisle. Falling badly.
'Yes' I whispered without thinking, before kissing him one last time.
Authors note: Please, please review with any ideas or comments! Thanks :)
