Chapter Eleven

Growing Up

After another Jasper induced coma, a mere few hours unfortunatly, I woke up to go to school. I was running late and rushing to get dressed.

"Are you sure your gonna be ok here?" I asked him for the tenth time.

"Yesss. Just go already." He was sprawled out on my bed going through my cds. I was currently hopping around trying to get my boot on. He was grinning like he was about to have a giggle fit. But as explained last night by him that men don't giggle, they chuckle.

"I'm going to contact Peter and Charlotte today, I'll be patrolling around the school. So if you need me just throw out your creepy emotions...Taylor Swift? Really Bella? Really?"

"It was a gift!" I put my eyeliner on in the little mirror on my desk. "Do you think they'll come?"

"Yeah Peter never denies a fight. Besides they'll be happy to know I've made a friend."

"Awwww I'm Jasper's friend!"

"Shut it munchkin."

"I am not that short! I'm 5'7. Technically I could be a model. Not every one can be giants."

"How do you know that? The model thing."

"I've been known to watch a little Top Model when theres nothing on."

He chuckled and shook his head. "Yep, nothing but surprises from you. Once I think I've gotten you figured out..." He trailed off shaking his head.I grinned at him and ran down the stairs. I skipped breakfast and drove straight to school.

The day was going great, no one was bothering me. Until hobag Lauren decided to make her appearance at the lunch table.

"So!" She cooed loudly to Jessica. "This Sunday I went down to La Push, stayed there until real late. Those Indian boys sure know how to party. " She grinned evilly at Jessica. Maybe it wasnt evilly, but really it looked like that. Everything about her was evil.

She'd be a great vamp. Already has the satan in her."Finnally discovered why dear Bella likes that Jacob one so much. He talked me up and we were walking on the beach..."She began to giggle violently and Jessica, the greedy attention hog joined her.

"Lauren, I hope you have a flea dip after you came near him." I grabbed my plate and dumped it in the trash. I was panicing. I hadn't yet shown my grief for Jacob. The loss of my brother. It was a loss. Things would never be the same with him. Even if I wanted to reconcile. I found myself going to my locker, grabbing my Jacket and backpack. I didnt know how I got there.

I took a deep breath and leaned up against the cool metal of my locker.

Not here.

One thing I did realize in that moment. He was exactly like Edward and Alice. He didnt want me to have a life of my own, were my choices were my own. I finished the rest of my classes with my head held high and a evil sneer in 7th period to Lauren that made her back away. I made my way to my truck with my headphones in. I didnt realize there was a vampire hiding in the other seat so when I glanced over to put my backpack down I fell out the truck.

"SWEET BABY DILL PICKLES!" My hand went straight to my heart while Jasper dissolved into chuckles.I shut the door of the truck and looked around to make sure no one saw that. Once I pulled out of the parking lot, Jasper straightened himself up. I just glared at him. He laughed more.

He coughed and tried to steady himself."Soo, I called them, they are on their merry way. They should be here tonight. Are you sure your okay with them?"

"Jasper of course. There your family, they cant be that bad."

He smiled. "I felt your emotional surge at lunch."

I then let out a string nasty curses about the girls lifestyle.

"Okay okay I wont spy on you anymore! You don't have to get cruel."

"Not you airhead, Lauren."

"Oh." He grinned."I could eat her for you."

"Aww. That warms my heart."

"I try." He said sincerely.

The short ride home ended then, as I pulled into the driveway. Jasper zapped himself to the house. I walked up the house and looked at the tarp covered object by the garage. I havent road my motorcycle by myself. Only with Jacob. I wanted to ride it today.I went into the house and up to my room. "I want to show you something today. "

He cocked an eyebrow."You gonna tell me what? Or am I left to wonder? My minds going to a you show me yours I'll show you mine type of conversation, so you better correct me." He grinned evilly.

"You. Are. A. Pervert."

"No, I just don't like surprises or waiting. And you tend to get blushy when things like that are said."

"So your just evil and manipulating then?"

"When- Your delaying!"

I grinned. "Come outside, are the neighbors around? I dont want you to be seen or something. "

"Oh so your treating me like I'm your dirty little secret? What am I to you Bella? Just a plaything to be hidden from the world?" His voice took on the tone of an jealous female.

I fell into my bed, hiding my face as the laughter shook my body. My merth making him laugh, peak at him, and pointed a finger directly at him. "You are never going to sound like that again."

The sound of manly Jasper like that was to much, just completly wrong. A little concerning actually.

He laughed loudly then was all business again.

"I can stay out of sight, but I wanted to show you this." He handed me his sketch book. It was a drawing of a house. It was beautiful country Victorian. It was large. Only one story maybe room enough for an attic. There was a tree with white flowers in the front yard. It was completly done in pencil. It was stunningly detailed.

"It's my home. The one I grew up in." I smiled at him.

"It's beautiful."

He smiled back at me. "Your turn, what's outside?"

"A motorcycle." I said happily watching his jaw drop. I placed the drawing on my desk and skipped my way outside. I peeled the tarp off to find everything as I left it. My helmet on the bike. My beautiful cherry red Harley. It hurt me that he was the one that rebuilt it, but it was mine. No one could change that. I put the helmet on and straddled the bike, pulling the keys from my jacket pocket.

I turned it on and kicked it to life. "You getting on?" I asked with a grin. His jaw was hanging open and he had a look on his face I hadn't seen before.

His eyes were dark, I couldnt feel what he was feeling. He straightened himself out almost instantly. "Hell yeah." He got on the bike behind me and I thought I wouldnt be able to drive.

How?

Bad decision Bella. First, I had never had someone behind me while riding. Second, Jasper, was Jasper. Tall, strong, vampire that had his long arms wrapped around my waist. I took a deep breath.

Just like this.

I got a hold of myself and tried to mask the emotions I just felt. My hand tightening and twisting on the accelerater. I let myself go and drove out of town. I didnt realize I was going to the Cullen house until it was to late. The ride was peaceful. All good emotions were coming from Jasper. When we came to the drive way I stopped. I let out a sigh. Stareing down the slightly over grown gravel road.

"Jasper, do you want to try? "

"Let's go to the house first."

"Huh?" I looked back at him. "Why?"

"Becuase I think we need too. You need too."

I stared at him and breathed.

"Your subconcous brought you here Bella, you need to see it. If only for a moment."

I looked back toward the road and drove down it. I was nervous. More nervous than I thought.

Jasper's hand rubbed my back to calm me. Soothing gentle circles. We made it down the winding road and in front of the huge mansion. I took my helmet off and looked up at 's just a house. There wasnt any emotional contact left. It didnt feel like my home, like it used too. It didn't tug at my heart. There memories werent here. It was over grown, and ghostly. Hollow. This house no longer felt like my home.

"It's not the same."

"No. It isnt." His voice was a little gruff. I got off the bike then.

"Your turn mister." I pointed out everything he had to do to control it properly. I got on behind him, arms around his stone waist and we were off. He flipped off the mansion, and chuckled darkly at my shocked faced. I giggled as he roared the engine of my bike and flew down the Cullen's drive. I laughed fully now and held tight to him.

I didn't know where he was going until it was to late, yet again he was making me face something I didn't want too. We were at what I assumed was the border of La Push.
"Jasper?"

"You need to seem him Bella. I'll get off and patrol around the woods, text me when your done, wait for me here." Jasper had also purchased a new cellphone on our shopping trip. Hand to have now I guess.

"So theres no wiggle room for me to just go back home huh?"

"Bella, you can do whatever you want. Go home, stay right here for hours or go to see your werewolf freind. This isn't easy for me to let you go see him, he's dangerous right now. But I can't let you not end this with him. I know you want to end it, I can feel what you do. I may not know exactly what it's about, but I think I know you enough to infer."

He placed a cool kiss to my forhead and was gone. I sighed, as per usual Jasper was right, no matter how much I didn't want to admit it. I sped along the road, a short ways more to go to arrive at the Blacks home.

Just like the last time I was here, I pulled in and began to walk to the garage. I didn't hum the yellow brick road, I wasn't dorthy nor was I the cowardly lion. I was Isabella Marie Swan. Only child of Charles Swan and Renee Dwyer. Born september thirtenth in nineteen nintey four. I ran with vampires, hung out with werewolfs and was fluent in sarcasm. I was brave yet weak, stupid yet smart. I was a walking danger magnet. Edward's herione, vampire bite survivor, the girl who punched a werewolf in the face when he called her a leechlover, not because he offended her, but because he called her freinds a leeches.

I was here to speak to a childhood friend for the last time. He was that, a part of my childhood. The end of childhood is not when you reach a certain age, or have done certain things. But when one puts away childish things and starts thinking on there own.

Through our anger, tears, thrown tools and screams. I let Jacob know I had decided. He was the one that made me choose, yet in full disclosure I would of chosen Jasper if both parties forced me to decide. That albeit a little alarming even to myself, told me I had put away my last hope of childhood. I had too, it hurts, rather terribly, but change never did adjust well with me.

With my final words. "It will always be him."

"Get out." Jacobs voice was broken, I knew he was going to cry. Yet I turned my back, walking confidently and didn't look back, not a single time.

I was lying in bed, by the time I had arrived home it was time for me to cook dinner for Charlie, so I told Jasper to go hunt. I hadn't had the chance to speak to him until now.

"Jasper?"

"Yes Isabella?"

"Can you be my therapist for a bit?" He was in the rocking chair, putting a book to the side.

"Of course, you've been mine. I'm sure you have things to tell me." Then I explained to him more about Jacob. The good times we had. How he had helped me. Then I told him how much it hurt for him to do that to me. How he could switch so easily. He wasnt my true friend. He was only in it for himself. Then I told him of what was said today. All of it came spilling from my mouth. I began to sob. Jasper was suddenly next to me. Holding me.

I cried myself out that night. Jasper let me cry. He knew I had to get it all out of my system, not effecting my emotions. I cried for my loss of my friend. I had to feel this, to grieve. But God did it hurt.

Jacob and I. We would never be called friends again. My Jacob. My Jake. Was gone, and it had all been because of me. My choices leading to this, yet I couldn't see a future that lead to a different path.

Chapter Twelve

The Whitlocks

I woke up, my eyes burning, lids swollen from my tears. Jasper wasn't there, he had been holding me. I looked around the room rapidly. My hand felt something. A note.

Isabella,

Peter and Charlotte are here. Patrolling with them, I'll introduce you to them after school.

I made you breakfast, its in the fridge.

J.

I dressed and found my food on a plate in the fridge. I warmed it up in the microwave. French toast. Really really good french toast. I wolfed it down a little to fast due to how amazing it was. How the hell did he learn to cook?

The entire day of school was highly pointless, but I went to it anyway. It was boring and dull. I didnt talk to anyone. What was the point? I'd never see them again. I only liked Angela, but I couldn't be around her. What if Victoria found out? I had to protect my father. I didnt know how besides forcing him to go to La Push as much as possible. Since he developed a relationship with Embry's mom, he has at least has him around.

Note: Harry isn't dead in my story, I thought that was wrong, so I put Charlie with the next available Quiluette woman :)

I worried about my mother often. Even though our relationship was strained now. She never contacted me anymore. She was to busy being a wife to be a mother. It was ok, she never really was the perfect one. I dont need a mother, I was more of hers anyway. I did send an email to her once a week. I got a reply once a month. Oh well. I didn't know what Jasper planned for us to do after graduation. I never talked to him about changing me. Do I even still want it?

It's not like you have anyone to spend forever with.

What was the point of forever when you had no one to share it with anyway?

Jasper...

Like he would ever want me! The little voice in my head needed to be hospitalized!

You saying you want him?

No! I can't. I can't be falling for Jasper, he hadn't been long enough. He was a vampire, another one. I can't make the same mistakes, I'll just get more heartbreak.

He isn't like that, you, which is techinically me, knows that. He isn't like him, no where near like him.

I couldnt be falling for Jasper. He was my friend. He was my kindred spirit. My best friend. I felt like I could tell him anything. Such instinct with him. I didnt think before I talked, but some how he took what I said and actually got it. My crazy ramblings, my you know what I means, my pain. He understood me. I under stood him in the same way. Our minds although very different were broadcasting on the same wavelength.

He dosent love you. Not yet.

Love. When was love brought into this? I loved him? I loved him. I loved Jasper.I fell for damned vampire! Bella! What is wrong with you? Did you hair brain mother drop you? What do I do? Act normal. Yeah. Ok I'll act normal and see if he... If he feels like you do?

Oh my brain is poisoned. I let my head hit my desk hard. My sudden revelation left me feeling weak and tired. As images flooded my mind of Jasper's easy smile, causaul touches and his arms around me when I cried. My arms around him when he cried. I pictured what my life would be like if I was with him. I saw myself, with pale skin and gold eyes, smiling widely holding onto his arm while he looked down at me, with that look. The look he had when he was with Alice, but better, it wasn't hope that filled his expresive eyes, but love.

Oh no. I've got it bad. I tried to picture myself with out Jasper, and I couldn't. I couldn't picture my future with no Jasper in it. I sighed. I had two more classes left. The bell rang. Split decision.

Screw it.

My back swung tightly around my arm I ducked out the school doors and straight to my truck. I pulled into the drive of my house a short time later. Jasper was on the porch steps.

"Naughty, naughty. Santa aint getting you anything this year."

"I stopped believin in Santa a long time ago. The creepy pervert can stay out of my house." He chuckled. My eyes went to the forest. I sensed them before I saw them. Two vampires.

Red eyes, but they didn't frighten me. The didnt kill innocents. Jasper had told me. The girl, Charlotte, was stunning. She was short, maybe 5'2. Unlike Alice, she had long blonde hair. She had Marilyn Monroe like curves, even the little mole and wavy tresses, yet much longer. She had a sweet nervous smile on her face. I smiled at her man was tall like Jasper, his hair was dirty blonde and long, to his shoulders. He was handsome, in the bad boy way. He looked alot like Jasper actually, they could of been real brothers.

Peter was grinning at me. It was sorta creepy, but I liked it. "Well, hello petal." Peter said, full on southern. More like Georgia instead of Jasper's Texan tone.

"Hello hon, you can call me Charlie." Her voice was adorably sweet and just as southern as her mates.

"Hey, Isabella or Bella. It don't matter. " I turned to Peter. "Petal?"

"Your hair reminds me of a petal on a blue orchid. " I grinned at that and blushed just slightly.

"I told you she wouldn't be scared Jasper." His tone was cocky.

"Whatever creeper." I was confused.

"You knew? Do you see things or?" I asked.

"Perceptive. I know things. They just...come to me. It's strange. Char's freaky thing is way better than mine." I raised an eyebrow at her.

"I can tell if two vampire's are mates or not. I just have to touch them both at the same time."

"Like Marcus?" Now all three vampires infront of me looked shocked.

"You know of the Volturi?" Jasper asked me.

"Edward told me of Carlisle's history with them. He told me of their gifts. He told me there basically the vampire popo." I leaned against the porch on the side of the house.

"Did he tell you what our laws are?" I shook my head no.

"We only have one really." Charlotte said.

"Three different but they have the same goal." Peter clarified.

"One, never make an immortal child. Two, do not make a mass number of newborns. Three do not tell a human what you are." Jasper stared at me then.

"But..I know.." I trailed off confused again.

"Yes, the only way to solve it...is to turn you or kill you." Jasper said slowly. "Which of course killing you isnt an option. And if you dont wish to become a vampire I can hide you, but well..later...Um...well we havent talked about this but..." He was stuttering and fidgeting his hands.

"You would turn me?" I said before he could say anymore.

"Yes." It was a little strange because all three of them answered, in perfect harmony. All confident, Charlotte's hair bobbing as she nodded. My eyes went back and forth between Peter and Charlotte then.

"We're in Jasper's coven hon, we're Whitlocks. Based on what Jasper's told us we wouldn't leave you alone." Charlie said with a smile and a little embarrassed hiding of her face behind her big blonde curls.

"If you wish it...well what I'm meaning to say is..."Jasper let out a sigh before he contuined. "Would you like to join my coven? Not because your being pressured...because I could hide you, you wouldnt have to be if you-"

"Yes." I said the grin that spread so far across my face so much it hurt, was for the fact that I was honored he would offer and Jasper was adorable when he was shy.

"Really?"

"Yes really. Do I have to spell it Jasper? Y-E-" And I couldn't breath. It took me a moment to realize Jasper was hugging me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and giggled. He spun me around and I giggled more.

"Jasper! You might make her sick or something!"

He put me down. "She isnt that fragile Charlie." I conjured up my most queasy look and thought of raw eggs. Panic shock through Jasper. I burst into laughter.

He glared. "Dont do that!"

"You were just worried about your boots."

"Maybe." I shook my head at him.

"Would you guys like to come inside?" It was getting a little chilly.

They nodded.

The few hours before my Dad came home were nothing but laughter. Peter told stories to me about Jasper while he looked like he was in misery. We played a mean game of monopoly. I learned that Peter cheats. I also learned that Charlotte seems to be very shy. I thought Jasper told me she was full of piss and vinegar? Was I making her nervous or something? "Charlie?" I asked.

"Yes hon?"

"Would you like to have a girl day or something? So we can get to know each other more?"

Her entire face lit up. "I've never had a girl day. All I know is boys."

"Yeah Char hasnt got any girlfriends, she scares them. Thats why she nervous around you, she think your her last chance."

SMACK!

She hit Peter on the back of the head hard.

"Woman that hurt!" Peter whined. I giggled.

"Hit him once more for me Charlie."

SMACK!

"What did I do to you!?"

"You cheat!" Jasper and Charlie couldnt stop laughing at Peters saddened puppy dog look, that screamed love me. I just crossed my arms and shook my head. Not long after that they had to leave to go and patrol. I started making dinner with the radio on low. The rest of my night was pretty good. I talked to my Dad about how I still planed to travel. He didnt like it but thought it would be good for me to get out of here. I also told him the edited version of Jacob and I's fight. I told him how angry he got when I told him he was my brother and thats it. Charlie had accepted this from me, that Jacob and I's relationship wouldn't go any further,no matter how much he had wanted it.

He was now worried that Jacob might try something with me. Cop and daddy at the same time. I told him I knew how to take care of myself and I wasnt going near him anymore. He took it hard that I didnt want to see him at all, but he accepted it. I was his daughter, he'd do anything for me. I made sure that my business didn't effect his and Billy's friendship though.

I didnt see Jasper again till later that night when I was all ready for bed. I was drawing when his face popped into my window. He was hanging on the ledge grinning at me.

"You coming in?" He propped him self in the window.

"You like them. They like you."

"Jasper speak like this. Me caveman. You cavewoman."

He was suddenly on top of me, a low growl in his chest.

"You making fun of me little girl?"

"Yes big man child."

His eyes were all smiles but his face was menacing. He began tickling me and my drawing tools went flying as I tried hopelessly to make him stop. He tickled my neck then my side and then my knees. The knees is when I really started to freak out.

"No! Stop!" An eruption of giggles came from my mouth." Pleeasse.

"You not gonna make fun of me anymore?"

I nodded yes. "Say it!"

"Yes! I wont!" He grinned victoriously and layed down next to me.

He put an arm behind his head and layed the other underneath mind.

"You wanna go to sleep now darlin'?" I layed my head on his chest and pulled the blanket over me. He stroked my hair slowly and began to hum. I could lie like this forever. I couldn't help but take notice of my hand on his chest. Even though it was cold, it felt less cold than Edward's ever was. Jasper feels more room temperature. He can still make me feel like I'm on fire, though. I quickly thought about something else, hoping he'd work his mojo. I silently prayed I didnt sleep talk anymore. Sleep took me then, with those last thoughts.

Chapter Thirteen

Jaspers side.

Note: This chapter is completly in Jasper point of veiw.

I couldn't believe this tiny, feisty, little human trusts me enough to lay in my arms. She was small. But not as nearly small as Alice, who was a pixie in true form. She had grown since I had last seen her. The roundness of her face was gone. Traces of child hood no longer there. Her cheek bones were more prominent. The shaggy blue hair she now had made me smile. I did wish that her hair would be a little longer before she was changed. It was an inch or two above her shoulders now. At least it wasnt the twelve-year-old boy cut Alice had. She wanted to become a vampire. Still. After all she's been through. I can see her like me. Pale and fierce. Her angry kitten nature would turn into a vicious tiger. I would love to see her like that. I was going to see her like that. She didnt want Edward back at all. That made me more than pleased. I never liked that mind-raper. They didnt look right together. Even though she looked so happy with him there was something always off about the emotions. I always knew it would never last. Forced.

When you sit back and watch, you learn alot. I observed the Cullens. I was there solely for Alice and that I wanted to learn control. Carlisle was a natural leader, as was I. I couldn't have a larger role in the family or we would butt heads. I loved Emmett like a brother. Who couldnt love the huge teddy bear. Rosalie despite her natural harsh exterior, cared more than anyone in that household. She was trying to frighten Bella away. Didn't work, the little freak doesnt get scared. Esme wanted to be my mother so badly. But mine died long ago and I was a grown man. Carlisle was a good friend. Not a father. Edward and I never got along. He hated me. When I was first in the family and Edward took to Alice so quickly... He wouldnt leave her alone. It got where I couldn't take it and Edward lost an arm.

I chuckled at the memory and made sure Bella didn't wake. He didn't mess with me after that though. His arm used to twitch if I growled. I'd have to tell Bella that story. She'd get a kick out of it. When it came to women I believed they needed to be treated right. She wasnt with Edward. I should have spoken up. So many should of's. There was many questions with Isabella.

How could I talk to her? I couldn't with Peter or Charlie. Before I came back to Forks I was in complete hell. My guilt for Bella was so intense I had to send her a letter, something. I never thought they'd leave her. Someone so sweet, so pure. She was alone out here. With our laws! With Victoria on the loose. Stupid boy. If I ever saw Edward again I'd more than likely kill him. Something that stupid is a complete waste of space. When I saw the wide eyed human, everything changed. Click! I had the motivation to move on. I didn't understand it. I still dont.

How could she not fear me? How could she stand to be around me? How could she not blame me for the Cullens leaving? Better yet, why did I care? I always had. I never knew why. I tried to brush it off as it was because Alice cared for her so. After Edward told us of her and banned me from killing her like I wanted, I didnt listen. I went to her home, I was going to go into her room and kill her. Destroy the threat against the family. Be the bad guy like I always was. I couldnt. I was glued to the tree. So innocent. I couldnt move a muscle closer to her. If Edward ever knew I went there, he never mentioned it.

Peter and Charlotte cared for her instantly. It was astounding how easily they took to her. She was always like that. She has this habit of making people happy and protective of her. The Cullens, the wolves, my brother and sister. Me. How? I dont know. I didn't like not knowing. I liked having a plan. I was a military man. I didn't like not knowing what to do. I depended on Alice so much. Telling me what to wear, where to be, what to say, what will happen when I say or do a certain thing. Maria telling me who to kill, when, where, how bloody. The army telling me where to go and the plan. I couldnt stand on my own anymore. I hated it.

Bella, the crazy little thing, she never once told me what to do. I adored her for that. I adored her for the way she could make me smile. She had become my best friend so quickly. I wanted to know her more. I wanted to be able to have time to just be silly and happy. I just had to take care of Victoria. We couldn't do it on our own. Even if we changed Bella. I had to call in some freinds. The wolves would be a tremendous help, but that little pup that made my Isabella cry would never come near her again. Not unless I was a smoking pile of ashes.

My Isabella? I frowned. She wasnt mine, she would never be. She was accepting but she'd never want me like that. Did I even want her like that? I didn't know. Did she want me at all? My perfect memory recalled her staring at me when I was changing, I hadn't cared that she was there, it was a stupid move on my part. She was attracted to me, but she hid it well. Embarrassed of it. What if she did like me, enough to date me, but it wasn't enough and she found some one better? I couldn't take it if I was left alone again. Not by her. Not by this angel. This fallen angel that cursed like a sailor a times, wanted to get a tattoo, had several piercings on her ears, hung out with vampires, wasnt afraid of them, even wanted to be one. She was strong. A warrior when she was angry. I feared her glare would ever turn on me. She'd be truly frightening as a vampire. My frown turned into a smile at that image. I'd figure out the rest down the road.

I looked down at her angel's face. She was so peaceful like this. I closed my eyes and let myself feel her emotions fully. It was the closest thing to sleep I could ever have anymore. I missed sleep so much, I would cherish these moments when she let me be so close to her while she slept. Directly absorbing her emotions, all I needed now was dreams.

"Mmm..th...spiiderrs.." The mumbled softly in her sleep. She talked alot, mostly unreconizable. It was adorable. She even giggled.

"Jjasperr... stop them... dancing... wrong.." I chuckled silently.

"Shhh Bella, I won't let the dancing spiders touch you." Deathly fear of eight legged tiny creatures, but hugging a vampire whilst she slept.

"Mmmm.. Jasper.." She snuggled closer into me, hands clawing at my shirt, fisting it in her tiny hands. I smiled, stroking her hair softly. I closed my eyes, succumbing into a false sleep.

Chapter Fourteen

Girls Day

I woke up the next day to the shring sound of my alarm. I hurriedly shut it off. Right after I was pulled back down. "Five more minutes." Jasper mumbled sleepily? His lips curled upward feeling my shock and question.

"Your emotions.. It's almost real." I smiled at that and snuggled back into him.

"I wish I didn't have to go to school anymore. I wish it was just over. It's rather pointless. I am graduating early due to all my honors classes, but still."

"Your almost done Bella, it'll be here soon enough. Don't you want to spend sometime with your father?" Guilt pour into me thinking of how foolish I was for rushing, not thinking these were going to be the last days I'd spend with him.

"Your right, now I feel bad."

"Don't. Your just worried."

"Do you think Charlie would like to hang out this friday? Could you ask her when you see her today?"

"Of course darlin'."

The rest of the day turned out as normal, slow and boring until I got home and hung out with the Whitlocks. It was fun and I was getting to known them as a couple, but I was aching to know Charlotte more. She was more open now. She really was like me. At some points we even said the same exact thing. I never had that before, a female that was like me. I didn't get along well with girls. I was excited about this friday. I didn't know what we were going to do yet, maybe just strolling Port Angeles like I did with Jasper.

I just wanted her away from the boys. I had a question to ask her. The day came and I called in sick to school. I then started picking out my clothes while Jasper rocked in his chair. Hmm. His chair. Yes he looked better in it then Edward ever did. The heel of his boot gently rocking him while he read. He was happy, contentment was rolling off him.

I found my "Normal People Scare Me" shirt and simple grey jeans. While in the bathroom I examined my blue hair that was fading to a sea-foam color.I needed to redye it. Maye I'd dye it something different. I was dressed, fed and downstairs when Charlie and Peter popped into the house.

"Ready for bro day emo?" Jasper grinned at him and they disappeared. I smiled at Charlotte.

"Do you mind if we just go to Port Angelas?"

"Um, could I have a talk with you before hand hon?"

"Of course." I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. She timidly joined me.

She was still afraid she would scare me. So sweet.

"I..I've been meaning to say somethings to you about Jasper, I feel you should know more about his state when we found him."

"You found him?"

She nodded. "Alice called us telling us where to look. Of course that conversation went very well." She shook her head bitterly. "I could never stand her, from the moment I saw her. Way to happy, no ones that happy accept maybe clowns and those a creeps that greet you when you enter a store. The little pixie sure danced her way into his heart though. It was easy, he had been used to much, he wanted hope. He wanted something that was good. She did what she wanted, she got a protector and arm candy. Now that she'd found her mate she just threw him away. He lost it hon. He went on a rampage, not killing humans of course, he couldnt let her down anymore. He wasnt stable, Peter got the feeling her was fixin to kill himself. He still got those feels up until he came here, to you. We had no idea about you. He didn't tell us till he asked us for our help, Peter told him to write to you. When didn't know your location or you name. But we knew wherever he had went like a bat outta hell was keeping him stable." She looked at me then.

I would stay silent until she finished her tale. I gave her the contiune look and she did."The pain that he was in sometimes got so overwhelming he had to throw it out. Maybe not on purpose, maybe he needed a release from the pain, but it sent me a Peter to our knees a couple of times. I didn't understand why he was reacting so harshly. She isn't his mate. Not his true one. I knew that from the beginning, I casually touched the both at the same time not long after I first met her. Nope. He felt strong toward her, he a had a strong tie to her. It was returned, a little lesser, but it was there. Just not his mate."

She looked away. " I didnt know till he explained you to us, that is."

"What do you mean?"

"Bella..."She touched my hand then her eyes got a slightly cast over look. "I didn't know why he reacted so badly. The bond formed I can feel from merely touching you. It's different that anything I've felt before. Sweet heart your mates. Now he hasn't realised it. I didn't wish to tell you but Peter told me this was the only-"

"Wait." She stopped talking. "Hes...?" I couldn't get the words to form.

"Yes, your mates. You might not know it know since your human, of how strong a tie it is."

"What, how...what does it feel like to be mated to Peter?" That was the question I had wanted to originally ask her.

"When Peter first found me, he was completely changed, he wouldn't let anyone go near me and he had no idea why. Of course I did, but didn't fully understand it. It feels like they complete you. Like you've known them forever. Like you can't fathom any life with out them. It dosent have to be romantic. It could even be a sister/brother bond or best friends. Your whatever the one most in need, in pain, physical or mental, needs you to be. It's pure instinct. Its...just...love. At its finest moment. Some people say it takes decades to realise." Charlotte sighed and looked at me again, her eyes pleading. "You must understand that it isn't boom bada bing husband. It does takes work. It's not magic, it's finding your true love. Your soul mate, but that dosent mean you wont have issues."

I sat there silent. I dont know how long I pondered this new information she had given me. Part of me was rejocing. Jasper! Jasper was my mate. Your soulmate. Another part of me was worried beyond beleif. He didnt know this yet. How long would it take him to realize? Wait so now you're believing it? Why wouldn't I? I need to believe this. I must believe this. This means I'm not purely insane and crushing on another vampire.

I'd wait. I'll wait for him. But I hope it wasn't long. Wasn't it that the man was waiting on the woman?I wasn't as nearly calm and a good enough lier to keep it up for very long.

"Okay.. Please dont tell him. I want him to find this out. "

"You already knew didn't you?" She asked her voice dumbfounded.

"Not exactly, but I had already realised it. That I loved him. And hey, what do I have to loose?"

What do I have to lose?

"Nothing honey, you won't loose anything with Jasper."

"It explains some things, but at the same time makes alot more questions."

If Jasper was my mate, then how did he attack me on my birthday? Weren't you not supposed to be able to hurt your mate? I understand fully why he did, that the emotions and the blood was to much for him. His past was horrible, a life full of instant gratifcation, and then to switch to restraint so quickly and not being able to eat your normal food source. It wasn't easy, and then when you slice a girl open...

"Your thinking 'bout his loss of control aren't you?"

"Yeah.. "

"I..."

"Your got no answers for that do you?" I asked smiling just slightly.

"No, I'm afraid not. But he would never hurt you now."

I sat back, processing this information. I took this silent moment away from Jasper, in the kind presence of Charlotte to really, really think.

First things first, Jasper was my mate, I felt the pull, I felt the kindred spirits between us. Second I did not think he was anywhere close to being ready for this, his wounds were to raw. He put on a strong face, and he was getting better, but I still wondered, was I his Jacob? Something that he would grow out of? I put that thought on the back burner for today, only time would tell.

I bit my lip and closed my eyes tightly. I hadn't thought of that night in a very long time, I tried to push it from my thoughts, something to cringe and run from. I loved a mystery, something to solve, it nearly reminded me of how I found out about the Cullens, except more , suddenly I was there again.

NOTE: MOST OF THIS WAS DIRECTLY COPIED FROM THE ACTUAL NOVEL. I do try to make this as plausable and accurate although I do take free reign in there personalities/ appearance.

Edward roared.

He threw himself at me, flinging me back across the

table. It fell, as I did, scattering the cake and the

presents, the flowers and the plates. I landed in the

mess of shattered crystal.

Jasper slammed into Edward, and the sound was like

the crash of boulders in a rock slide.

There was another noise, a grisly snarling that

seemed to be coming from deep in Jasper's chest.

Jasper tried to shove past Edward, snapping his teeth

just inches from Edward's face. Emmett grabbed him from behind then, Jasper struggled on, his wild, empty eyes focused only on me.

Then as I disected the moment, I realised Jaspers eyes weren't empty, those eyes that I had gotten to know so well, those expressive eyes. They were terrified, and angry. Then my memories flipped back, like the pages of a books.

Edward roared.

He threw himself at me-

I focused my thoughts like a victim you'd see in a crime show, I focused as hard as I could on Edward's features. His face, that had once made me swoon, was full of... Hunger. Edward was going for me, but some how maybe his control kicked in and he pushed me away from him, or maybe he was protecting me from Jasper. Not because he loved me, but as if a lion protecting it's prey from another predator. But Jasper, wasn't looking to kill me, he was protecting me, his instincts must of kicked in then. His eyes, the snarl I had heard that before.

Jacobs body shook, he reached out for me. A low deep growl roared in warning of him.

Jaspers growl wasn't hungry, but protective. My eyes snapped open, a small gasp escaping my throat. Of course, I had no idea how to prove this. Charlotte had said Peter had no Idea why he acted the way he did to her at first. Could it be that Alice and Edward had simply put the blame on Jasper? He wasn't that important to the Cullen family after all, not like Edward was. The hurt that Carlisle and Esme would suffer from knowing there golden child had slipped up, on his girlfriend no doubt would be horrible. So why not shove the blame on the problamatic one?

"Bella?" Charlottes voice broke me from my thoughts. I needed to get my mind off of this for a while, the stress of everything was taking a toll on my system. A girls day was what I needed.

"Ready?" I said, my face changing from focused and a little frustrated to happy in an instant.

She cocked an eyebrow gave me the your slightly crazy look but hopped up lightly to her feet.

"Yep!"

The rest of the day was extremely light-hearted. Nothing of real matter was happening. Just girls having fun. It was what I needed. She knew this. I loved her for it. That night she dyed my hair black. I loved it. So did Jasper.

Over the next days she became my sister. I deeply loved this girl. My days were either with Charlotte, everyone, Jasper, or Charlie. I wanted to spend some time with him before I left. Before I couldn't seem him again. I would mourn him, but I was still in his life. I'd cross that bridge when I came to it. I was processing that these would be my last days with him. I even went fishing with him, and I didn't go to the emergancy room!

The last weeks of school passed me by quickly. More so than I though they would be. Tomorrow was my graduation day. My last day in Forks, Washington. My last day as Bella Swan. I wouldn't come back here again. I couldn't. I had to protect Charlie. I'd have to give him closure of some sort. I had to make him think I dead, that I wasn't coming back. Maybe wrecking my poor truck... I couldn't think of this now. I was to happy listening to Jasper read.

He was reading some silly history book he bought, I was never a fan of history, but if Jasper was the teacher I'd suddenly want it as my college major. He voice could build a pathway to the past, a vivid recall...well besides the times he yelled at the book for being wrong.. I would savor tomorrow. It would simply be the principle giving me my diploma. Honors classes and advanced ones earned me a nice shorter stay in this hell hole called highschool. Also, it didn't make me have to walk on stage in that gown.

My mind slowly shut down from all the rapid thoughts processing through my brain. I mildly had a thought that Jasper was doing this, but it was too late. I succumbed to slumber with my head on Jaspers lower chest, his hand stroking my now ebony locks.