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Sorry it's been so long, I've been updating my other story A Song of Love Vs Life, check it out if you have time :)
This chapter is quite long to me, compared to others and hopefully you guys like it, I know the last chapter was like, woah! what? seriously? Nex chapter will look more at rosalie and Jaspers motives whereas this chapter looks at Edward and Bella after al that happened. REVIEW!
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Chapter 4
BPOV
I was frozen to my seat as Charlie got out of his car, looking at the truck curiously. I finally found the courage to step out and face him. Plastering a big smile on my face I wiped my face with my hands and grabbed my bag, swinging myself out of the truck to see Charlie looking at me, befuddled.
"What are you doing back Bells? It's the middle of the day. You said you'd be gone a few more days, did something happen?" He asked suddenly concerned.
I shook my head, "No, they're all going on a camping trip so I had to leave." It was so easy to lie to Charlie.
"They just kicked you out?" Charlie asked, his voice a pitch higher.
"No, no, Alice was going to stay behind with me but I told her it was fine and that she should go. They didn't kick me out." I covered up.
Charlie nodded, "Oh well, that's alright then. I've missed you Bell's you've been gone over a week now. I'm glad you're back."
And with that he then headed inside, me trailing behind him. He didn't ask any more questions and left me to get used to the house again. It had been so long since I'd been here that it was all foreign to me again. I felt much more at home at the Cullens than I did here. It was strange, the place which I was supposed to call home felt like a stranger's home and yet the home of the strangers I had met and discovered felt more like home. If that made any sense.
I unpacked my bag and started unpacking the rest of the bags I had left unpacked before school last Monday. I couldn't not think of Edward, the way his face had looked when Rosalie twisted my actions to make me look like the bad person, it was heartbreaking. I wish he would've believed me, it would have made going to school tomorrow so much easier. It was Friday tomorrow and I knew that after tomorrow I would ask Charlie if I could go back to Arizona. I didn't know what he was going to say but I just hoped that he wouldn't make me stay; I doubt I could handle a whole year sitting next to Edward in Biology. I didn't have to worry about that though; he said that the family was going to move, he said that by the time I told anyone they would be gone. It hurt me to know that a misunderstanding was driving his family away from the place they had called home. I couldn't do anything now though; it was out of my hands.
They weren't in school the next day, I thought that maybe somebody had heard that they left but apparently Dr Cullen was still working in the hospital that day and Mrs Cullen was visiting the children's ward with old toys also. So they couldn't have left. This just meant they had skipped the day. I was glad at least.
When I asked Charlie if I could stay with Mom's neighbours back in Arizona he looked surprised and disappointed. I assured him that it was the weather that was getting me down and I just needed to go home, it wasn't his fault in anyway. He believed me after a while and said he'd think about it over night. I was hoping he would say yes, as long as I checked with him every few days and informed Renee and I was right. Saturday morning came and Charlie grumbled that if it was what I really wanted and needed then he'd allow it. He started calling up Mom's friends and out of the ten he called one said that they'd be delighted to look after me for a while until my mom got back. It was actually Phil's sister, Kayley that agreed and said she wouldn't mind one bit because she looked after me a lot when I lived in Arizona anyway.
She said I could come as soon as possible if it was alright with me and I made plans to fly back on the Sunday. I called up Jessica and Angela while I was packing; I'd sat with them at lunch this week at school and Thursday and Friday last week, they were good friends and included me in their group, unfortunately not without the many questions of why I was staying with Alice Cullen. Alice used to come to my rescue then and invite me over to her table, the table where she sat with the rest of her family. I informed Jess and Ange that I would be leaving for Arizona the next day and that even though I'd only known them about two weeks I wouldn't forget them. Jessica surprised me and sounded genuinely sad that I was leaving and Angela told me she'd miss me a lot. To be honest I'd miss them.
I knew that Jessica would call up everyone she knew after that and tell them that I was leaving so I didn't have to call up everyone. I had packed my bags within an hour and prepared myself to leave the nest day. To be honest, as I looked around the room I was sad. I would miss this place. I would miss Charlie and everybody here.
EPOV
We all agreed to stay at home the next day. We all needed to discuss what had happened. Carlisle needed to work that day and Esme had promised to take old toys to the children's ward so it was just me, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. Jasper and Rosalie still thought that they were in the right for what they did and said they would do it all again if it meant she would keep quiet.
Emmett was disappointed in Rosalie for doing what she did and Alice was having a hard time altogether. She was trying to see what would happen next but could see nothing; she said that it was too blurry, there was no real picture.
We all discussed what would happen when we went to school on Monday. We knew that we had to keep our distance and I was considering skipping Biology just to keep away. It was paining me to think that I had to keep away when I knew deep down I didn't want to, which was bad. It was dangerous for all of us.
After agreeing we would all keep our distance and stay away from her, much to Alice's dismay we all parted to different rooms of the house. I ventured up stairs and into the guest room.
I was bombarded with her scent as soon as I reached the door and my throat burned as I stepped inside, shutting the door, encapsulating myself in the air that caused me pain. It caused me pain yet made me content. I ran my hands over the covers on the bed, still splayed around just like she'd left it. Esme hadn't gotten round to tidying and I knew she would tonight and would completely wash every available fabric in here, thinking she was helping me, not knowing that I wanted it to stay this way. I sat down on the bed gently and picked up the pillow, the indent her head had made on it was still evident. I inhaled deeply and my throat was ripped by the flames which coursed through me.
I gasped and almost threw the pillow away, but didn't, I inhaled again, and again. Forcing myself to remember what she smelt like, to remember what the flames felt like. The burning died down as I continued to inhale and it became tolerable. I hadn't realised how long I had been sitting here when Esme walked in, a concerned expression on her heart shaped face. A motherly look, one I'd seen on her face more than once recently.
"Are you alright?" She asked softly.
I lowered the pillow and nodded, "I'm fine."
"Liar. I can see you're not. What's wrong?" Her thoughts were full of concern for me and I tried to smile.
"I-I . . ." I couldn't find the words, "Nothing," I settled with.
"Lie number two, tell me the truth. It's Bella isn't it?" She walked in slowly, closing the door behind her.
I shook my head fiercely but gave up when she nodded towards the pillow in my hands, her brow raised in sarcasm. I looked down at it and sighed, inhaling deeply, her scent hitting the back of my throat again; it didn't hurt as much now.
"Edward," She sat down, "She . . . she was special to you, in more than the one way,"
"No, I-" I tried to cut her off but she stopped me,
"She was special to you in more than one way, now don't interrupt me. She was special because her blood was more appealing to you than any other human and also because she is special, in her own way." I was about to interrupt her again but she held a finger up, stopping me, "She has a kind heart and is one of the most understanding and selfless people we have ever met or laid eyes on."
"What's your point Esme?" I said, trying not to sound snappy.
"I can't bear to see you alone anymore." She said simply.
"What are you implying?" I asked.
"That she's what this family needs." She smiled slightly, "Don't go off in a huff now, just think about it."
She stroked my hair back and kissed my forehead, "You deserve happiness."
I watched her walk out and shut the door quietly behind her before hearing her descend the stairs. She was still talking about how Bella could be good for the family when Alice dropped the glass jug she was carrying full of water to the vase full of flowers on the other side of the dining room. Jasper was at her side in a second and the rest of us followed. Rosalie looked the least bothered by Alice's unusual behaviour and didn't move one inch from the living room. I walked in as Jasper, Emmett and Esme crowded around Alice as she just stood there stunned. I was trying to see what she was seeing but she blocked me out and started translating song lyrics into different languages. I pushed roughly past Jasper and Emmett and looked straight into her eyes.
"Alice," I warned, "What are you hiding?"
She started squealing and said, "I can't tell you! It's a surprise for Emmett!"
She started bouncing up and down but something was off, the way she smiled was off, it wasn't genuine, it wasn't Alice. I let it go but kept my eye on her for the rest of the day and the next day. She avoided me and continued to block me from her mind, giving me Emmett as a distraction. He kept asking me to see what Alice saw about him and what kind of surprise was it going to be. I kept telling him she was blocking me and then he'd just ask me what I thought it was. Alice was sneaky, I'll give her that much, she sure knew how to keep me distracted and off her back.
It was Saturday night when she sighed loudly in the living room and I stopped playing on the piano and turned towards her, glaring at her,
"What is it now, Alice?"
She sighed again, "Bella's leaving tomorrow."
I stood up, "What?"
She turned towards me on the couch and sighed for the third time, "She's going back to Arizona, she organised everything just like she said. She's leaving Forks."
I grabbed her and shook her shoulders, "When did you see this? Was it yesterday?"
She cringed, "Yesterday, when I said it was about Emmett, it wasn't."
"I knew you were hiding something from me! Why?"
"I knew if I told you last minute you'd be able to see how you really felt about her!" Alice exclaimed as I shook her again.
I had the urge to hit her, I knew that it was wrong to hit a woman but she was so irritating and so right at the same time. I let her go just as Jasper walked in the front door and tried to send me waves of calm. I shivered and let her go, looking out of the house into the ever growing dark forest. I cringed, she was leaving tomorrow. And I didn't know what to do.
BPOV
Charlie was looking more miserable by the second, on Saturday night and I had to excuse myself upstairs to try to distract myself from the guilt that was building up. I was the cause for his behaviour; I was hurting him by leaving so suddenly. All of this was my fault, I should have been stronger when I met Edward, and I shouldn't have given in so easily. If I had then I would have stayed with Charlie and I wouldn't have to leave tomorrow. I threw myself on my bed and groaned, tomorrow was going to be hard. It was going to kill me to see Charlie upset that I was leaving after just arriving.
I rolled over and stared at the ceiling, breathing deeply, trying to calm myself down, trying not to concentrate too much on the fact I was leaving this green planet tomorrow. I failed and a few tears ran down my cheeks at the thought; I didn't want to leave Forks. I closed my eyes for a split second and when I opened them and sat up a dark figure was standing in the corner of my room.
I took a deep breath in ready to scream; I opened my mouth and went to scream as the figure moved forward. Suddenly a hand was over my mouth and a low voice at my ear,
"Shh, it's me, Edward."
I looked up and could see his face was just inches from mine. I stared wide eyed at him before he slowly let go of me saying,
"You aren't going to scream if I remove my hand, are you?"
I shook my head and he moved to sit next to me on the bed, I looked at him, completely shocked. I had to ask,
"How–how did you get in here?"
He chuckled, "Your window, it's not that hard."
I blinked to make sure I wasn't dreaming and when I'd convinced myself I wasn't I started asking him all the questions which were running through my head,
"What are you doing here? I thought . . . I thought you, you . . ."
"You though I what?" He asked.
"I thought you hated me," I admitted, hanging my head.
He looked devastated when I said that and brushed my hand with the tips of his fingers, "I couldn't hate you. That's impossible."
I snorted and moved away to walk towards my window, I looked out of it and down to the ground, looking back at Edward in disbelief, "You climbed up here?"
He nodded, "That's beside the point though Bella, why would you think I'd hate you?"
I turned back to him and leaned against the wall, facing him, "Did you not kick me out of your house on Thursday morning? Did you not shout at me to go and completely ignored my pleas for you to listen?" Sarcasm coloured my tone and he grimaced, "Exactly, that, right there, is my reason to believe you hate me."
He turned on my bed and sighed, "I was . . . confused, I had Rosalie's thoughts bombarding me and then Jasper's, and then on top of all that you were talking t me and I couldn't form a . . . proper evaluation of the whole situation."
I took a step forward but then stopped, "You hurt me." I stated simply, he nodded and I waited.
He stood up and approached me slowly, and then he gently took one of my hands, "I don't expect you to forgive me if I just say sorry but I hope you can in time. I know that it's a lot to ask but I hope you can,"
I sighed, "I'm leaving for Arizona tomorrow, why does it concern you if I forgive you or not? I'll be far away from here so I'll be no bother to you, does it really matter if I'm angry at you?" I arched my brow in question as he stared down at my hand in his. It felt nice, soothing to have his hand wrapped carefully around mine. Forks wouldn't be the only thing I would miss.
"That's why I'm here, Bella, you see, I came to tell you that you don't have to leave. We all discussed this yesterday, we didn't know you were actually planning to leave so soon but we all agreed that we would keep our distance. We trust you to keep our existence a secret, we know now that you won't tell anyone. So we planned to leave you alone, let you live out your time here without worrying about us and that we don't trust you." He looked up, smiled slightly, even though it didn't reach his eyes before looking down again, "So, you see, you don't have to leave."
"I think I do." I mumbled.
He lifted my chin up and shook his head, "You don't have to go. Tell Charlie you changed your mind, you made your mind up so quickly that you didn't think it through, that you don't want to leave really."
"It's for the best, you can carry on as if I never came here, just live your life here without worrying about me." His eyes were smouldering and I was in a trance.
"I will be worrying though, that's the problem. That's why I'm so confused, because I don't want you to leave but I know that it's wrong if you stay, because I want you to stay." He let go of my hand and sat back down on my bed, holding his head in his hands, mumbling, "Esme and Alice were right."
"What do you mean? It's wrong of you to want me to stay but you want me to stay? Honestly Edward, that makes no sense whatsoever." I crossed my arms as he looked up.
"It's wrong for you to stay because it's wrong for me to want you to stay. If that makes any sense." He sighed, "Me wanting you to stay is wrong because of what I am and how dangerous I am to you, but I want you to stay and I know that if you leave, I'll want you to come back. Basically, I don't want you to go."
I sat next to him, trying to find a way to word this without it sounding needy; I decided I just needed to say it,
"I don't want to go either. I thought it would be better for everyone when really I just want to stay. I don't want to leave you." My voice broke a little as I said the last part, due to nerves rather than emotions.
He groaned, "I've got to go."
I stood up, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have . . ."
He smiled slightly, "Don't apologise, I need to be heading back home, it's getting late."
I nodded and tried to look understanding but I couldn't, he smirked at my expression,
"I'll see you Monday, hopefully."
"Okay,"
"I promise,"
I smiled a little, "I believe you. You better get going."
I watched him stand up walk over my window before turning round, smiling and then climbing gracefully out of the window, disappearing into the dark night. I thought I'd made him angry by saying that but he didn't seem much bothered by it, at least that's what it looked like.
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