Chapter Three: A Good Reason for Ear Twitchage
"Mmm...soft warm bed, maybe it really was just a dream." Buffy rolled over, pulling the covers with her. She deeply inhaled the scent of her pillow. Her eyes opened. Her pillow didn't smell right, not bad, just not like her pillow. The room was filled with that faint light that occurs when the sun is newly arisen, but there are no windows pointed to the east. Her eyes adjusted and she saw that the light was coming from a solitary round window that looked out over a sumptuous flower garden. Not a dream at all, and yet, she couldn't bring herself to be very upset. Her bed was so cozy and the clothing Bilbo had mentioned was hanging in an armoire. He had told her last night that he had kept a few things that belonged to his mother and put them in the room for her. Buffy understood; she had some items that were her mother's as well, it was hard to let go.
Buffy had been particularly grateful that Bilbo's mother owned a nightgown, since Buffy was worried she might have to get up in the night, but would rather flash the whole neighborhood than to be forced to wear that uncomfortable dress to bed. It wasn't too bad, but definitely not good for a sleepy Buffy. Bilbo had given her one of the few rooms with a window because she wasn't used to being underground.
Buffy got up and made her bed, it was the least she could do, and began changing into the least stifling of Belladonna's outfits. As she struggled to fasten herself in she marveled at how accustomed she had become to the feet and ears. Looking in the mirror now, she thought she was almost...cute. "More like puppy cute than princess cute, but you'll do." She had even gotten used to Bilbo's appearance and her original thought that he was kind of cute was returning. His generosity and obvious wealth didn't hurt either. She got this feeling now that she had never truly loved Spike in the way a heroine should love a hero, Spike had known it too. She had punished herself for his death, but she'd be kidding herself if she truly believed she'd had enough time to love anyone when he was interested. The thought made her feel guilty, but also released. It was a release in a way to be away from what she knew, she could finally stop worrying and feeling the obligation to play martyr for everyone else.
Buffy brushed the tangles out of her hair, which smelled fresh and clean from her bath last night. She hadn't been crazy about the idea of taking a bath in Bilbo's house, but had given in eventually. Buffy wasn't stupid, she knew that baths were probably much rarer around here, in the Shire. At last she looked presentable. Hobbits, as Bilbo had informed her they called themselves*, didn't wear makeup, so she felt a little strange going without. It surprised her though that simply because nobody else shaved or wore makeup, she felt almost no need to either. What did she care? If the PTB were gonna land her with whatever this gig was, she was going to treat it like a vacation.
The moment she opened her door, the divine scent of breakfast assailed her senses. She walked into the kitchen to find Bilbo hard at work. She leaned against the doorframe and didn't alert him to her presence. Buffy watched him, noting how meticulous he was and how he often would mutter softly to himself. It was clear he was used to and perhaps even liked, living on his own. Buffy wondered momentarily if he was gay, but decided that was overly judgmental and was really beside the point.
Bilbo smiled as he fried the eggs, he couldn't help it. Buffina thought she could stand there without his noticing, but his ears were too good for that. He hadn't looked at her though; he was curious how long she would just stare at him.
Buffy's eyes narrowed when she saw Bilbo's smirk. "You knew I was standing here this whole time, didn't you, you naughty hobbit."
Bilbo turned away from his frying to protest being called 'naughty hobbit' and was struck by how beautiful she looked. He wasn't sure how she had found that low cut ensemble, his mother must have worn it long before his first memory. Bilbo had intended to fake indignation at her teasing, but instead found himself saying, "You look unspeakably pretty today." Now he was unspeakably embarrassed.
"Thank you. You look handsome yourself." Buffy replied, and as the hobbit turned back to his cooking she couldn't deny that he had something about him.
"I seriously doubt that." Bilbo said with a self-deprecating laugh. He actually thought himself reasonably good looking for a hobbit, but all at once he felt sort of bashful.
"Pshaw. Can I help?" Buffy asked. "I know how to fry eggs and...pour milk and cereal into bowls. Seriously though, I want to help."
"You can carry the bread and butter into the kitchen if you like."
"I don't know, that sounds pretty hard..." Buffy rolled her eyes.
"Yes, that might be beyond you." Bilbo responded, but he was smiling.
"You would be surprised how useful I can be Mr. Baggins." Buffy said before carrying in the bread and butter anyway. Buffy hadn't really thought about it, but as she was walking in and out, taking things from Bilbo and putting them on the table, it dawned on her that might have sounded suggestive.
They were both sitting down when Buffy blurted out, "I meant useful as in cooking, cleaning, killing monsters, that kind of thing. I didn't mean like a...in the bedroom...thing."
"Right..." Bilbo said very slowly, more perplexed by the killing monsters comment than anything else. "That's a shame." He said with a straight face and started eating.
Buffy stared at him with her mouth half open for a moment, unsure if he was joking or not. Bilbo looked at her. "I was hoping you were good at changing linens."
Buffy grinned and started eating. He kept a straight face, but there was a glint in his eye. "So, is the Shire in England? You have one of those superior sounding British accents." Buffy wished she'd never attempted to clarify her meaning, because now she was imagining what it might be like in Bilbo's bedroom...she snapped herself out of it. Little elf-hobbit things having sex...that was not a path she wanted her mind to wander down.
"No, I've never heard of an 'england' but we don't bother with the affairs of outsiders like dwarves and the Big Folk...Buffina, are you all right?"
Buffy eyes looked kind of glazed and she was staring at nothing. "What? Oh...I'm fine. You can just call me Buffy, by the way."
"Buffy...it's an odd name isn't it?" Bilbo's mouth was quite full as he asked.
"Speak for yourself...Bilbo." Buffy retaliated hastily. Perhaps so much slayage had made her tongue a bit too quick with retorts.
Bilbo gave an indignant "Hmphh!" and was opening his often disapproving mouth to further retort when there was a harsh knock on the door. His hobbit senses were offended by the rudeness of such a knock and his ears twitched so he could tell if there were voices he would recognize.
"Wow...nice ear twitchage...twitchage. That is way too hard to say."
"Shhhhhhh!" Bilbo held a finger to his lips and tip-toed towards the door.
"Suspicious little guy aren't you?"
"You don't know some of my relatives!" A shudder ran through him at the thought of the Sackville-Bagginses. Bilbo crept towards the window when they both heard a deep voice.
"Bilbo Baggins! I know you are home! Open this door you foolish hobbit, before I bring it down myself!"
"Gandalf?" Any hobbit in the Shire could recognize that authoritative yet soothing baritone.
Bilbo scurried to open the door, leaving a bewildered Buffy in the kitchen.
"My goodness Bilbo, I expected better manners from you. Neither of your parents would have left guests waiting at the door like that." The wizard ducked his head to walk in the half-size abode, a rather respectable-looking dwarf at his side.
"Many apologies! I don't...—
Gandalf cut him off gesturing to the dwarf with him. "Let me present Thorin Oakenshield."
"Bilbo Baggins at your service!" Bilbo said with a deep and abrupt bow.
Thorin nodded, expressionless.
"Alright Bilbo, don't be rude, why don't you bring us some refreshments. I believe there is someone in your kitchen I very much need to speak with."
Author's Note: I have no doubt I am going to get Gandalf out of character more than I would like, for this I apologize. I expect to post the next chapter within a few weeks with any luck. Thanks for reading and the story alerts/favorites and reviews. :)
