The look on Luna's face, the cold feeling filling me up, the darkness behind the broken windows, his breathing I could barely even hear anymore. I felt so damn helpless, I wanted to move but couldn't, I wanted to yell, no, maybe say something, no not that either, then a whisper?

Nothing.

Lost of words, that's what I was. Speechless, forced to be dragged down, but for once not caring about the cropped feeling in my stomach or the welling tears in my eyes. I never really thought about what I would do or how I would react in this kind of situation. That kind when you lose a part of who you are, you lose something so precious to you, words aren't even enough to describe that feeling you feel at that one moment. Was it because I never expected it to happen or did I just never let my thoughts go down that road or did it never occur to me it was even possible? Well at least not like this, not now, not here, not….. NOT EVER!

Ron is impossibly still. Out of the corner of my eyes I get a glimpse of his face. It is pale, tears falling down; his eyes look a bit empty. He gives the impression of a dead man. The only thing that gives away his heart is still beating, is the fact that he reacts to my staring by taking a step forward and I think, he starts to cry harder. His sobs are excruciating for me. I can't stand it; I don't want to watch him go through this. I see him taking tiny, little steps towards her. Suddenly my head feels dizzy, my body numb, I, I feel cold, almost frozen. My heart seems to weigh a thousand times more; it is so heavy it's tearing me down.

I can see a cliff; I'm standing on the edge, playing that game of falling and not falling. I enjoy it for a while. The sun is shining, I am truly happy; I think I can even make a smile. In the background I can hear the waves going up and down, being broken by the rocks lying in the water. I wonder how deep they go. Maybe they're just small rocks, or maybe they're huge, gigantic. Their roots lay hundreds of meters down in the dark of the deep water. I feel like falling, I want to see it, so I open my eyes and that is when I see her. She is smiling too. But I can tell she's not very pleased with my actions. I wave, but it seems she didn't see it. I wait patiently for her to come over. She is only a couple of inches away. I can see her face clearly now. The bruises on her arms too. Her open chest, at least it's not bleeding now. I can also see the scar on her arm. I get sick the moment my eyes catch it in their frame. She's wearing her ripped clothes, her torn shoes; her hair is a mess due to all the blood, her own blood. And I end with her face, taking a closer look at it. She's still smiling, but her eyes look sad, she has scars all over the place, you can barely see her own skin color, the blood is nearly covering every inch of it. She has several burns, which go all the way down her neck. She is everything the Hermione I knew was not. I have never seen her like this. I have to confess to myself, 'Harry, your best friend really looks… dead' I let myself fall.

Just in time I turn around, so my back is leaning against the wall. I give myself a couple of seconds to recover. I slowly glide down the wall, until I sit in a somewhat steady pose. And I stare, blankly, letting my thoughts go for a while. Somewhere in the distance I hear a voice, trying to say some words of comfort to the man who's probably in more pain, more devastated, more everything than me. I want to tell her it's wasted time; he won't hear a single word. But by the time I found my voice, she already figured that out and it all goes quiet.

While we sit there in silence for a while, I haven't dared to look in his direction. I'm only talking about a couple of minutes. Though I am very curious how he is doing and I know I should sort of try to comfort him, I am also terrified of what I will find. My curiosity wins, so slowly I open my eyes and I look in his direction. He's shivering, but against all my expectations he is not crying anymore! His face is hard; he seems to be lost in his own thoughts. He doesn't even notice me when I walk over and place myself next to him. I don't really know what to do, so I just lay one arm over his broad shoulder and half hug him with everything I still have left in my worn out body. It kills me to see him like this. Knowing there are no words of comfort out there, there is nothing to ease the pain even slightly.

I feel his arms getting tighter around me; it makes me smile a bit, knowing he accepts my comfort and company. And he doesn't feel the need to go through this alone.

Luna, who had been there for the time being, had subtly taken of and has given us the space we needed to channel this privately and on our own. I was grateful for that. Because right now, was not a moment to share with anyone else than the three of us. Ron, Harry and… Hermione. The latter who was no more...