Chapter 4: Don't Tell Me You Love Me

Rose

'Meet me in Hog's Head in an hour. It's high time I take you on a proper date. Don't keep me waiting.'

I smoothed the creased note against the table. A third-year Slytherin boy had just practically thrown it at me only seconds before. I had to make a dive across the table to catch it before it landed in my porridge.

A curious sight that must have been—not just a Slytherin passing a Ravenclaw a note, but the fact that he braved the walk across the isle that acted as a barrier between the two houses' tables in the Great Hall. All eyes were on him, and I could tell he felt them boring into his back.

The moment he left the expansive room—lit only by candles, for the enchanted sky was black with clouds that would spell certain destruction were they real—, all eyes turned to me.

"Who was that?" asked Ava Thomas, seated to my left. She was still trying to mop up her spilled orange juice—that I had accidently knocked in my grab for the piece of parchment.

"Oh!" I exclaimed when I saw what I had done. "I'm so sorry, Ava! Here, let me help you." I tried to help her but only succeeded in making a bigger mess.

"Who is the note from?" questioned the girl on my right. She was Hattie, Hattie Lithgow. And since the Scorpius/Sammie fiasco, Hattie had been moved up to best friend status. Purely because I could no longer trust Sammie. That alone was enough to break my heart into a million little pieces.

I pretended I didn't hear them as I reread the words for the fifth time. The note was from my boyfriend, Killian Finnigan—it had to be. The person who gave it to me was a member of his little rat pack—mostly made up of younger boys who wanted to be him.

I couldn't help but get a bit disappointed that he didn't just give me the not himself. I mean, wasn't I important enough to risk his bad-boy image? But the fact that he actually wanted to take me out in public—something we had yet to do—was enough to outweigh my disappointment. I couldn't believe it! We were finally going on a real date! I would finally become his arm candy!

"What's that you've got there, cousin?"

The question came from behind me. I turned to see two boys, both kind of tall and gangly—one with messy black hair, and the other with signature red hair and scattered freckles, much like my own. My cousins, James Potter and Fred Weasley II—but we just called him Freddie. Both wore Gryffindor robes and stupid, lazy smirks.

For some odd reason—probably the size of our brains, compared to theirs—, Albus and I were the only ones in our massive family not put in Gryffindor. Not that I minded. Gryffindors, in my opinion, were pompous little prats who thought they were best at every single thing, especially Quidditch. My poor cousins failed to remember that when they were my age, they were nearly failing out of every subject. And that Auntie Ginny and Auntie Angelina had practically begged me to help them study—never mind the fact that I am two years younger, two years behind them in school.

"Nothing for your eyes," I snapped, quickly trying to hide Killian's note. "Anyways, shouldn't you both be off somewhere with my brother, planning your next prank?"

"Little cuz, little cuz," James murmured. "Did you actually think we wouldn't notice that Slytherin Scum approach you? What did he pass you?"

"Is he your boyfriend, ROSIE?" Freddie taunted. "You can do oh so much better, little cuz."

"He isn't my boyfriend!" I all but shouted. I hated how MAD James and Freddie always got me, how much they could get under my skin.

"Then why won't you hand over the note? Got something to hide, do we?"

"Freddie, I think there's something she isn't telling us."

"James, did Uncle Ron drop you on your head as a baby?" Freddie asked with a chuckle.

"Shut it, Fred-die," James retorted.

As they bickered, I tried to make my get-away. I didn't get very far.

"Oh no you don't," called James. He grabbed my arm.

"You can't leave until you show us your note."

"Wanna bet?" I growled. I'd had about enough of their bullying. Just because they were bigger, didn't mean I couldn't outsmart them. They were actually pretty daft.

"James, didn't we just learn that handy new spell?" Freddie had an awful grin on his face. My pulse raced. I think a part of me knew what that spell was.

"Yes, yes," replied James. He pulled out his wand. "Right, then. You asked for it! Accio note!"

The note, still clutched in my hand, started to wiggle. I held it more tightly, and attempted to stuff it into my pocket.

From all over the castle, notes were squirming themselves out of books, trunks, garbage pails. They felt the summoning, as sure as any human would feel. It made them urgent to get to the Great Hall, to please their master, for lack of a better term.

I watched as the first few notes arrived, coming from all directions of the room. They flied straight to James, sticking to his body. It was a wonderful sight! One that made me want to roll on the floor, laughing so hard that I would need to go to the Hospital Wing. The only thing that stopped me was the urgent squirming of the parchment in my hand.

"No," I cooed to it, and, with effort, managed to stuff it into my pocket.

More notes arrived and I knew it was time to finally escape. The boys were busy with the tons of flying papers—receiving so many paper cuts that they would later have to visit the Hospital Wing themselves—, as were everyone else in the Great Hall. I slipped quietly out the door, intending to make my way up to the Ravenclaw tower. My last glance showed nothing but paper, flying in all directions, covering the entire student body. Who knew there was actually that many notes in this place?

Almost an hour after the Great Hall fiaso, i still wasn't ready. I was ...suppose to meet Killian in roughly twenty minutes, but none of my clothes felt "right" for the occasion. The loose-fitting, bland clothing in my wardrobe were far too nerdy. And how exactly was I supposed to make it to Hogsmeade in time? I had absolutely no clue!

"You're still not ready?" asked Hattie with a shake of her head. She stood in the doorway of the dorm we had shared for almost four whole years now.

"I have nothing to wear." I sighed, and plopped down on my four-poster bed. It was decorated in Ravenclaw-blue-which was also my favorite color. "I'm not going."

"Relax, Red," Hattie replied with a smile. She liked to call me 'Rose-Red'-or 'Red,' for short. "You can borrow something of mine. What do you think? Smart and sophisticated? Or just plain hot?"

I smiled back, feeling a bit of my nervousness go away. "Got a mixture of the two?" I asked, a smirk crossing my face.

Hattie rummaged around in her wardrobe. "Aha!" she called, as she pulled out what looked like two very thin articles of clothing. One was a ribbed, royal blue tank top, with lacey borders. The other was a pleated black skirt. She handed both to me.

"You DO know it's October, right? I'll freeze in this!"

"Don't be silly, Red! Of course I know what month it is! You said you wanted smart and sexy. This is smart and sexy. Pair it with your black sweater-the one with the plunging neckline-, and you'll be fine. Maybe a little cold, but beauty is all about sacrifices. Plus, it'll give you an excuse to get closer to that boy of yours." She winked at me.

I grinned, nodding my acceptance to her words. "Thanks, Hattie. What would I ever do without you?"

Hattie just smiled at me. Her smile-so much more beautiful than my own-complimented her pale skin and short, raven-black hair greatly.

I pulled on the clothes-including my sweater-and turned to look at myself in the mirror. The reflection showed a completely different girl than only a few short weeks before. This new girl was beautiful, stunning. Her rose-re hair fell in soft ringlets, down past her shoulders. Her blue eyes seemed to pop, thanks to the make-up Aunt Ginny bought me for my fourteenth birthday-no doubt, earning her an earful from my dad, once he saw me open it. Dad still thought of me his baby girl.

"You look good, girl!" Hattie exclaimed, stepping into the reflection. "Now, you'd best be of, or you'll never make it on time."

I nodded, took a deep breath-more to calm my raging nerves, than need for oxygen-, and left the dorms at a full run.

"I'm so late!" I groaned to myself. It didn't matter that I had ran ALL the way, not slowing until I arrived in Hogsmeade, feeling as if my lungs would burst and my legs would fall off. The next time someone tells you, "You'll look even cuter in combat boots," don't listen to them!

Killian was seated in the far left corner of the dingy, dinky little pub called Hog's Head. I could barely see him through all the layers of grime that covered every inch of the window.

The bell above the door chimed as I opened it, bringing all eyes to me. It was a bunch of attention that I DEFINATELY didn't want-I could feel the barkeep's eyes raking me over-probably my outfit enticing some kind of sick fantasy of his, or something. Either way, I was definately not feeling comfortable as I made a bee-line for my boyfriend. Why he had picked THIS place for our first official date, I'll never know.

"You're late."

"What?" I questioned, barely able to hear his low voice in the return of the usual din.

"I said, 'You're late,'" he quipped, his tone laced with sarcasm and anger. I watched as he gulped some of his nearly-empty drink. I couldn't tell what it was, exactly, but I had a feeling it was alcoholic.

"I'm sorry," I replied. "I wanted to make myself pretty for you. Won't you forgive me?"

"If I have to," he murmured, playing with his glass. The anger had yet to leave his voice.

I squished myself into the booth next to him. Our shoulders touched as I turned my head in his direction. "Forgive me now?"

I could feel him stiffen, and move away from me. "Like I said, "If I have to.'" His voice was low again, showcasing his anger perfectly. What I couldn't put my finger on was why he was so angry in the first place. I mean, yes, I did keep him waiting. But was it really that important to him?

My lower lip jutted out-something that usually worked to help me get my way, especially when it came to my Dad. "I'm sorry."

"Seriously, Rose, you can't just flirt your way around everyone all the time. It's rather disgusting." He scoffed, before downing the rest of his drink. With the way he winced-only slightly, but I caught it, no less-, I could tell it was something fiery. Whiskey, maybe.

I didn't dwell on his choice of beverage, though. What I did dwell on was the fact that this was the first insult he had ever said about me-to my face, at least. Had he said something to someone else? To his friends? I could almost picture it.

Despite the lump now forming in my throat, I managed to ask, "What are you playing at?'

Killian looked me dead in the eye. His were filled to the brim with hate, so much so that they scared me. I was absolutely terrified of him in that moment.

"Oh, Rose. Grow up, will you? Better yet, why don't you go run to Scorpius and cry to him? I really don't care anymore."

I wanted to stop the tears from welling up behind my eyelids, to keep them from falling and showing him just how much his words hurt. I wanted to, but I just couldn't help it-they fell of their own accord.

In a small voice, I said, "Get bent, Killian." I made a move to run out the door.

Behind me, I heard Killian sigh. I had a funny feeling he would try to follow me, and my suspicions were confirmed when I heard his voice.

"Rose! Wait. I didn't mean it!"

I ran away from the dingy pub as fast as I could. I wished Killian wouldn't follow me. I needed time away from him, time to think about what I wanted.

Mindlessly, I headed toward the edge of the forrest-and a secret shortcut that wasn't used very often. I knew I'd be alone-only my cousins, Freddie and James, knew of it...and they were currently on restriction, due to the Great Hall fiasco.

As I proceeded on, taking the necessary turns, my eyes blurred. I couldn't see for the falling tears.

I opened my eyes to an unknown place. I don't know where, but I knew that I had made a wrong turn somewhere.

I tried to go back the way I came, but, in this part of the forrest, where everything was overgrown and nothing was familiar, I got turned around.

I knew Killian was looking for me, and some small part of me took comfort in that knowledge-if he was looking for me, I technically wasn't alone. But I never expected him to find me. Unless, of course, Freddie and James were lying when they said they were the only ones who knew their way around-which was a very real possibility.

"ROSE!"

I heard his voice. It sounded somewhat close. Maybe he actually would find me.

"ROSEE? WAIT WHEREVER YOU ARE! I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU!"

I was in no mood to hear him out. I mean, he had just told me to grow up, and here I was, crying like the little baby I am. I didn't want him to see me that way.

"Go away!" I called, moving on so he wouldn't find me. "You may want to talk to ME, but I don't want to talk to YOU!"

"ROSE, JUST WAIT FOR ME!"

I can hear him running toward me, but still a ways away. I knew there was no way I could outrun him-he is faster, bigger, and he actually knows where he is going, apparently, unlike me.

Resigned, I sit on a fallen log and attempt to process everything that had happened in the past few weeks. Classes were harder-which was to be expected. But what I didn't expect was for my friendship with Scorpius to get harder.

I think I've always liked him, Scorpius. Ever since I first laid eyes on him in Diagon Alley. By the time my parents were sending me off on the Hogwarts Express, I already knew everything I could know about Scor and his father, Draco Malfoy. So when Dad told me to, "Beat him in every test, Rosie," I knew exactly who he meant. And while he was glowering at his once-mortal enemy's "spawn," I was busy oogling. For I had received my first full-blown crush, right on time.

The memory brought even more tears to my eyes, and a sob to my throat. Sure, I was mad at Scor still, but I think I was more hurt than angry. I just wished we could go back to the beginning, where were both fresh-faced first years who had no bloody clue where life would lead us-or which house we would be placed in, for merlin's sake.

At that point, I didn't care if Killian, Filch, ore even Headmaster Longbottom heard my sobs-the latter two sure to cause me to lose major house points for my Ravies. I just needed to let them out, to let myself go.

When I cried til I could surely cry no more, I looked up to see Killian standing before me.

"Are you done?" he asked in a gruff voice.

I nodded, wiping at my eyes.

"Will you hear me out?" His voice had gone soft, melodic, like it should have been.

"Why should I, Killian? This-us-obviously won't work. I'm in this way more than you are. So what's the point in continuing?" I was tired, oh so tired. I just wanted to be in my bed at home, far away from this place.

"Forget what I said," he murmured, sitting next to me. "I guess I'm just jealous. It WILL work, Rose. You know it will." His arm swung around, resting lightly on my shoulders.

I leaned into him, more for warmth-Hattie was right, I was definately cold. "Are you sure? You're not just trying to get into my pants, or anything?" I cracked a small smile at the thought.

"I wouldn't do that, Rose. I care for you too much. You can trust me." He smiled back, and leaned in to nuzzle and kiss my cheek.

My smile widened as I felt a blush creep across my cheeks. "I reallyl like you, Killian," I whispered.

"I really like you too, Rose!" He placed his hand on my knee as his lips found mine. The warmth from his hand seemed to scorch me.

As I moved my lips with his-because what else are you supposed to do when someone you like kisses you?-, I noticed his were getting more urgent, more forceful.

I felt his left hand move up my thigh, while his lips stayed on mine and his right hand found my breast. Okay, I was beginning to become uncomfortable.

I pulled away, practically panting, my breath coming out in short little gasps. "Wha-what are you doing?" I whispered.

"You know you want this, Rose." He pushed me backwards on the log, so that I was lying almost flat. He stared in my eyes as he started to climb on top of me.

"No," I protested. "Killian, stop! Please!" I don't think I'd ever felt more scared in my life! I could feel tears welling up again, stinging my already swollen eyes.

"I don't want this now!" I whispered. "Not this way! Please let me go!"

"You DO want it, Rose," he growled. My terror-metor goes up another notch. "I know you do. I can tell by the way you look at me. And the way you're dressed right now." I closed my eyes as he went back to kissing me. He stopped for a second, and I heard the unmistakable sound of a belt being undone.

I knew I HAD to get away. It was either get away, or be forced to do something I DEFINATELY wasn't ready for. Somehow, I managed to wiggle out from under him and scramble to my feet. Before I had the chance to run, though, Killian grabbed my arm. He held it hard, painful for me, who was nearly half his size and strength.

"Stop!" he shouted, causing me to flinch. "I love you, Rose. Look at me. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I just can't help myself when I'm with you. I love you." He released my arm.

I rubbed my painful arm. He loves me? What? THAT is love-forcing yourself on your girlfriend, holding her arm so hard that it probably left a bruise? I don't believe it. I don't believe one word, one bit. But, still, I question, "...You love me?"

"Of course I do, Rose. Who wouldn't?" He looks at the ground awkwardly for a moment. I think I see a hint of a tear when his eyes return to mine. "I swear to you, it's true."

As I study his face, I think I just might believe him. I mean, he wouldn't say it unless he really meant it, right? He wouldn't get all emotional, right?

I watch-kind of an out-of-body experience- as I forgive him and say, "I love you, too!" My arms slunk around his neck and I lean my head on his broad shoulder. "But, please, no more of that. No more forcing me into something. I'll tell you when I'm ready, okay?" I thought, that by making him agree to this, I could change him, change his ways.

Killian held me as he looked anywhere but in my direction. "Okay, Rose, I'll wait until you're ready." He turned back to me and kissed my head.

I smiled.

"Alright, you lot! Quiet down, quiet down."

Even though Professor Longbottom was Headmaster, he still found time out of his busy schedule to teach at least one Herbology class-which was his passion- a week. We loved it, looked forward to those days when we would walk in the door and see him standing at the front of the class. It was the highlight of my week, for Herbology was my favorite subject, as well.

"Listen up!" He shouted over the noise. When everyone shut up, he smiled, as if in awe that we actually listened tgo him. "Today, we'll be working with Bouncing Bulbs. Can anyone tell me how often they need to be replanted?"

My arm shot up quicker than anyone else in the class, even Scorpius.

"Yes, Miss Weasley?"

"Bouncing Bulbs need to be replanted every two weeks because they grow at a rate much faster than any plant. They often try to bite you when you do replant them though, so you have to be careful. Also, their spit is acidic to clothing but not to skin." I turned a little pink in the face, knowing that I went to far with my answer, as usual.

"Yes, yes. Well done, Miss Weasley. You remind me a bit of your mother." The last bit was said more to himself, than the class. "As Rose said, Bouncing Bulbs need to be replanted every two weeks. And I just so happen to have a bunch of them that have hit their two week mark. So your task today will be to pair up with a partner and repot three of these little buggers before the end of class. Now, with that settled, pair up, and we can begin."

I looked around for a partner. I saw Scorpius making his way towards me. After my eventful day yesterday, I didn't think I could handle Scor. But it seemed as if I would have to endure, for the rest of the class-time, at least. It seemed as if everyone in the class already had a partner. I silentely cursed the fact that neither Albus, nor Hattie shared this class with me.

"Hey, Rose," Scor said softly. "Mind if i sit?"

I sighed, not able to look at him. "I guess not, since neither of us have a partner."

"Thanks." The smile that graced his face was blinding. I tried not to stare.

"All paired up," Professor Longbottom asked when Scor finally took his seat. "Right, then. Let's get started. What you need to do-" he said, demonstrating for us, "-is to grasp it by its head, and pull it firmly up and out of its old pot. Then simply just pop it down in the bigger pot and pack some soil around it. But, be careful, because as Rose warned, they DO like to bite, and their spit IS acidic to clothing. Alright, on with it."

"Exciting, isn't it?" Scor's voice was at my ear.

"I guess," I replied as I rolled up my sleeves. I completely forgot about why I wore long sleeves in the first place-to hid the bruise Killian's hand left on my arm.

"What's that?" Scor asked. I could detect a hint of something in his voice, but I wasn't sure what.

"What's what?" I replied, trying to follow his gaze. Of course, he had to be staring at the yellowing blotch of a bruise. From my angle, I could still see the finger marks. I wondered if he could, too.

"That," he said, swallowing hard. I think he already suspected who did it. I think his suspicions were right.

"It's nothing. Let's get this assignment done." I slid my sleeve back down.

"Rose," he warned. I didn't want him to call attention to us. "If he hurt you-"

"No, Scor," I snapped. "Not here." I could see Professor Longbottom making his way over, slowly.

"We'll talk after class, then," Scor decided.

I had no choice but to agree.

The rest of the class passed quickly. We finished the assignment with ease.

I tried to leave before Scor, to lose him in the crowd. But his long legs allowed him to catch up to me with ease.

"Did he do it, Rose?" I heard him ask.

"No." I didn't like the fire I saw in his eyes.

"Damnit, don't bloody lie to me, Rose!" he shouted. "Now, I'm going to ask you one more time, did he hurt you?"

I felt small under Scor's gaze. His anger was tangible. I could almost taste it, rolling off of him in waves. I nodded, just barely, but enough.

Scor shook with rage-he literally shook! I was suddenly terrified for Killian.

"Scorpius," I said, getting his attention by grabbing his arm. "Look at me, please. You can't tell them. You can't tell Albus-or James, or Freddie, or even Hugo. You can't because they will kill him. They will beat him to a bloody pulp. Promise me, Scorpius, promise me you won't ever tell them!" I was shouting as I finished. I was so scared I could barely see straight.

Scorpius looked at me, looked right though me, and laughed. "I won't have to tell them, Rose. I'll kill him myself."

And as I watched him stalk off, I couldn't get the image of his murderous eyes out of my head. He would do it. I knew in that moment, he absolutely would.

I was going to be the reason Killian got killed.

a/n: this chapter took me a long time to write. But the idea was just so strong that I HAD to work it perfectly. I know most of you guys hate me for making Rose so forgiving. but that's what happens in the real world. Battered women forgive their abuser more often than not. It's sick but it's true. Anyways, on a lighter note, thank you to my amazing jobtwin, ginny/Bekk. Without you, the kalian/Rose scene dialogue would not be as epic as it already is. And your words inspired my words. So thank you :)