"I'm exhausted," Amy groaned, her body splayed across the sand with her head in Rory's lap. Rory made some sort of noise of agreement, but he was mostly enjoying the view he had down the top of her bikini.
"We should probably head back to the TARDIS," River said to the Doctor.
"Right, let's go. Think you can get up, Pond?" the Doctor asked Amy. She sprung up, not at all appearing to be as tired as she had just professed. The Doctor sighed with confusion but decided not to comment. In all of his 907 years of living, he had never truly come to understand women.
The walk back to the TARDIS was fairly uneventful, but the Doctor did overhear some giggling over the pictures they had taken while the Doctor was buried in the sand. He had a feeling he would never be able to forget that unfortunate incident. Not that all of it had been bad. He smiled slightly to himself, remembering River's kiss. Not bad at all.
"Hey Doctor, wasn't this where we parked the TARDIS?" River questioned. The Doctor looked around the area.
"No, no, it must have been a little further," the Doctor replied, shaking his head. He had to stop getting distracted- now he'd forgotten where he'd parked.
"You know, I'd rather like one of those buttons humans have for their cars. The silly little one called the panic button? That way I could always find my TARDIS. You see, it's not as simple as it is for a normal human car. I have to put up with my vehicle turning invisible, being stolen, dying, transporting without my permission, and simply leaving," the Doctor said. He mimed pressing a button in midair as if he had a panic button.
"Shame, I was hoping that'd work," he said with a sigh. He then hit his head against a nearby tree. "The TARDIS has ran off on me again. She's probably upset I didn't invite her to the beach with us. It's not my fault there's no swim suit in her size!" The others gave him strange looks, not knowing what exactly he was saying.
"You lost the TARDIS?" Rory asked, hoping he'd say no.
"No," the Doctor said.
"Phew, good," Rory said with relief.
"No, haven't you been listening to me? I didn't lose the TARDIS, she left us. I just went over all this when talking about the panic button. You really need to pay better attention," the Doctor scolded Rory. Rory looked as though his brain must have exploded from the Doctor's idea of logic.
"So how do we get it…" with a glare from the Doctor, Amy amended her statement, "her… to come back?" Amy asked.
"I don't know. She's such a woman! What do women like from men who've upset them?" the Doctor asked.
"Chocolate. But I doubt the TARDIS would want chocolate. Why don't you just contact her and tell her to come back?" River suggested.
"That would be great if I had a way of contacting my TARDIS remotely. This is why I want a panic button! So I don't have to panic!" the Doctor said with some stress.
"You do so have a way of contacting her from here," River corrected him.
"Do not," the Doctor argued.
"Yes, you do," River shot back.
"Fine, how?" the Doctor gave in.
"Your sonic. The TARDIS produces them for you, yes? Just set it to call mode," River instructed. The Doctor looked at her as if she had just told him he was actually a Dalek.
"The sonic doesn't have a call mode," the Doctor said. River rolled her eyes and took the sonic from where the Doctor had been keeping it- in the side pocket of his swim trunks. She pressed a button on the side of it a few times, and it began making a ringing noise much like a phone. She handed it back to the Doctor who held it up to his ear as if still not believing River.
"Oh, hello… Sexy… please come back? I-" the Doctor began awkwardly speaking to his TARDIS. Thankfully he was cut off by the blue box fading into view directly in front of them. They got inside quickly as if fearing the box would take off again without them in it.
"Wow, River, you know a lot," Amy complimented. River threw her a smile.
"Thanks! Some people never find the time to thank me though," River sighed, glancing at the Doctor, who had now resumed fiddling at the console.
"We should probably get our clothes on now," Rory pointed out. They all left to go get changed except for the Doctor, who was preoccupied with his time machine. When they all came back in their normal clothes, they saw that the Doctor was still in only his swim trunks.
"I don't mind the new look," Amy said quietly to River. River chuckled.
"Oh, I don't know, I kind of miss the bow tie," River said. Both girls looked at each other and then burst into laughter. "No, I could definitely get used to this instead."
"I think I've developed an alarm-producing device that can travel across the space-time continuum to correctly adjust and magnify the proper location of the TARDIS," the Doctor announced.
"What does that mean?" Rory asked. The Doctor whirled around and held up a bright red button.
"I've made a panic button!" he said, grinning like the child he was on the inside. He pressed it, and the TARDIS began making an odd and obnoxiously loud noise.
"That sounds like someone going into labor!" Amy yelled. River snickered.
"Don't worry sweetie, you'll know what that sounds and feels like soon enough," River muttered under her breath. The Doctor managed to turn off the noise after his companions' ears were surely damaged to some extent. He gingerly placed the panic button down on the console and backed up.
"See what you've done?" Rory said with a sigh.
"Outsmarted myself again?" the Doctor replied with a pompous grin. Rory looked confused with this answer, but he often was. He learned to just go along with what the Doctor said and hope that he could follow mostly what Amy and River were doing.
"Well now! The TARDIS must have had a reason for running off on me besides the fact that she may or may not have been mad at me. Now it's our job to figure out what that reason was," the Doctor said. He began pulling levers and pushing buttons on the console. "She's only done that once before, and that had something to do with the cat, but hey, that cat peed on my head!" the Doctor added under his breath.
"How are we going to find out why your time machine ran away from you?" Amy asked with some curiosity.
"We're going to use the sort of 'last dialed' setting and return to where the TARDIS last transported to so we can find out where she went and why," the Doctor answered. He pulled one more lever and the TARDIS shook, more than usual, as it flew through space and time to where it had last been. Upon landing, the four regained their footing and opened the door to the TARDIS.
"Oh. Oh no."
A/N : So, I'm going to include a little fluff chapter describing what exactly did happen with that cat that the Doctor mentioned had peed on his head before the continuation of what's going on with the TARDIS and what exactly has the Doctor so worried.
