AN: This one is a little shorter. But such is life.

Also, gay marriage isn't legal in Kansas? What is this nonsense of which you speak?


Chapter Four: The Romance You Get is Inversely Proportional to the Romance You Give


Clark liked symbols. This was, perhaps, self-evident, given the giant Not-An-S he wore on his chest on a regular basis. But Clark also liked symbolic gestures. So, when he decided he was going to propose to Lex, Clark needed to make sure it was special.

His first idea was to do it on the anniversary of their first date, if having sex on the roof counted as a "date." Chloe and Bruce were both pretty insistent that it didn't count, but Clark thought it did and that's what mattered, right? (Dick – who must have eavesdropped on Clark's conversation with Bruce, because there was no way that Clark would do something as stupid as talk about his sex life with Bruce's thirteen year old son… and not remember it – also thought it counted. Clark tried not to feel too smug about this.) But just to be on the safe side, Clark also got reservation at the restaurant where they had had their first "real" date and was planning on making the actual proposal after dinner in the park where they been when Clark had finally pointed out to Lex that "sneaking" all of Clark's stuff over to the penthouse would be a lot quicker if Lex just asked Clark to move in.

But when Clark had gotten out of the shower on the day of the big date, he had a message waiting for him on phone. It was from Lex, cancelling because something urgent had come up with work. Clark had been disappointed, but it was hard to be mad at Lex when he was rambling on about how sorry he was for missing their anniversary – ha! Take that Bruce and Chloe – and about what an asshole he was.

For the second try, Clark thought he'd go the unique and quirky route. Lex loved his Warrior Angel comics, and was weirdly invested in the idea of Warrior Angel and Devilicus as a couple. So Clark pulled some strings, or, to be more accurate, he took shameless advantage of the strings Superman, Bruce and Oliver could pull, and got a special Warrior Angel comic made, just for Lex. The comic would have Warrior Angel and Devilicus get married, or engaged at least, and then Clark would be waiting with the ring when Lex finished reading it.

Unfortunately, Clark apparently hadn't been specific enough about his desires, because the resulting comic wasn't exactly what he had been looking for. Yeah, Warrior Angel and Devilicus got married, but in the "waking up naked and hung-over in Vegas" way. Or the Guardian Realm equivalent of Vegas anyway, and why the hell did the Guardian Realm even have an equivalent of Vegas? It was still a good story, very… eye-opening, – Clark got the distinct impression that the guy who had drawn it was also weirdly invested in Warrior Angel and Devilicus as a couple – but it wasn't really the message Clark wanted to send while proposing. He'd save it for Lex's birthday gift instead.

The third take was going to be something more intimate. Just Clark and Lex, because that was the way it should be. Clark went all out getting the bedroom set up, and then got ready to wait for Lex to come home.

There was a tsunami in Japan. Clark stumbled back in at around five-thirty in the morning, waterlogged and bone-tired. The candles, which Clark had been holding off on lighting until the last minute, were still pristine and the champagne was untouched, but the flower petals were starting to look wilted and the chocolate covered strawberries had definitely been nibbled on. Lex was passed out on the bed with the news on, having fallen asleep waiting for him.

Clark very distinctly thought "Fuck this," and then everything went grey around the edges. With any luck, he had managed to take off the suit and make it to the bed before exhaustion overtook him.


"Clark. Clark, wake up," a voice called, while someone shook at him insistently. Clark groaned and tried to bat at the hand. He was tired, dammit, and he wanted to sleep.

"Clark if you don't get up right now I'll, I'll – I'll drown a litter of kittens." That did catch Clark's attention. Not because Lex was threatening to do evil things, that was pretty standard fare, but killing small fluffy animals wasn't his usual M.O. In fact, Lex sounded a bit… frazzled. And given that Lex could stay calm with a gun to his head, something Clark really could have gone without knowing, a frazzled Lex probably meant something really bad was happening.

"Lex?" Clark said blearily, rubbing at his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Clark, there is a ring on my finger," Lex told him, thrusting his left hand in front of Clark's face in order to better display said ring.

Oh, that was what he had done last night. "Yes, there is," Clark agreed. He got the feeling that there was more he should be saying, but he was running on what was most likely about two or three hours of sleep, and his brain wasn't quite working properly.

"Clark, there is a ring on my finger," Lex repeated. And he sure was using Clark's name an awful lot.

"Yeah. I put it there," Clark explained. There was something else he was supposed to be saying he was sure, but he couldn't seem to grasp it.

"Clark, why did you put a ring on my finger?" Huh. Lex usually had a much bigger vocabulary than that. That was probably either a very good sign or a very bad one. And Clark was definitely supposed to be saying something right now, wasn't he? Oh, right.

"Will you marry me?"

It was undoubtedly one of the worst proposals ever. In fact, factoring in the fact that Clark had missed their date the night before, hadn't bothered to shower when he got in and so was still covered in grime and sea water, couldn't get his eyes opened more than halfway, and wasn't even one hundred percent aware of what he was saying, it may have been the worst proposal ever.

None of that seemed to bother Lex, who answered Clark question by taking Clark's mouth in a kiss that seemed to imply that Lex thought the "two people joining together into one" aspect of marriage was literal rather than metaphorical. Clark tried to respond, he really did, but it was just too damn early for him right now.

Clark shifted the two of them on the bed until he was curled up around Lex, not unlike one of the kitten Lex had been threatening earlier, and buried his face in Lex's neck. "Sleep now, kissing later."

Lex let out a low chuckle. "Whatever you want, Clark," he said, running his left hand up and down Clark's back. "Whatever you want."

Clark fell asleep to the slick feel of skin-warm metal sliding across his skin.