-AGU III.

Phil and his mom return home from the dentist, and he is unusually quiet. Lil is watching TV when they enter the house.

"Hey, Phil, how was your appointment?"

"He can't talk right now, Lil," Betty tells her, "His jaw is still numb, so he doesn't want to say a thing because sounds a little funny."

"Oh… don't worry, Phil," the girl puts a hand on her brother's shoulder, and gives him a sympathetic look, "after all, 'funny' is better than 'senseless'."

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Angelica is at her bedroom trying every single pair of shoes she has when Susie enters.

"This place looks like a store!" Susie comments, "It's something wrong with your shoes?"

"No, Susie, they're all fine," Angelica sighs as retiring another pair, "but Finster is taking me on a date tonight, and hadn't found a pair that combines with my dress."

"Maybe I can help you; show me the dress."

Angelica nods and then takes her dress out from the closet, a particularly fitting one. Susie gives a good look to the clothing, and chuckles.

"You can stop worrying, Angelica; if you are wearing that one, your shoes will be the last thing Chuckie will notice!"

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Dil is sitting at the middle of his backyard, balancing a melon over his head while keeping a yoga position. After a while, Tommy approaches him.

"Dil, you had been like this almost for an hour!" Tommy shakes his head, "I know you do yoga, but, and I'm sure I'll regret asking this, why the melon?"

"Simple, Tommy; I do it to keep buffalos away."

"Buffalos?" Tommy arches an eyebrow at his brother, and then rolls his eyes, "Dil, there are no buffalos around here!"

"See? It works!"

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Harold is at the mall checking his weight on a scale. After a moment, he looks at the screen, and gets a shocked expression. Kimi spots him, and notices his look.

"Hello, Harold… bad news?"

"Oh, hi, Kimi," Harold sighs, "yes, it seems I'll need to go on a diet."

"Well, it wouldn't hurt if you lose a few pounds; how much do you weigh now?"

"No idea… instead of my weight, the scale's screen showed 'To be continued'."

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Chuckie is at a park's bench writing something on a notebook, on deep concentration. Tommy finds him, and gets curious.

"Hey, Chuckie, what are you writing?"

"Just following an advice from one of Angelica's magazines, Tommy," Chuckie says after greeting his friend, "It's some sort of therapy for people who had rough times before becoming a couple."

"Guess it fits you and my cousin perfectly." Tommy chuckles slightly, "And, exactly, what is this therapy about?"

"Writing the worst things my couple has done to me, and then destroy the notebook, as a way to forget and forgive them," Chuckie explains, "Right now, I'm writing about the worst argument we ever had; it was so bad, I made her to kneel."

"Hold it!" Tommy gets a shocked expression, "You made my cousin to kneel?"

"Yes… and, after that, she said, 'Get out from under that bed, Finster!'"

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Kimi, Phil and Lil are at the library, doing their homework. After a while, Phil slaps his forehead and groans in frustration.

"This is useless! How I'm supposed to write a summary about this stuff if I can't understand it?"

"It can't be that hard," Kimi places a hand on her boyfriend's shoulder as taking a look at his notes. "I can explain this to you… okay, Phil, as you probably know…"

"Kimi." Lil cuts Kimi's speech and gives her a knowing look.

"Oh… yes; thank you, Lil." Kimi sighs and shakes her head slightly, "Okay, Phil, as you probably DON'T know…"

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Tommy is talking with his Grandpa Lou when suddenly the boy notices the man had fallen asleep. Tommy then shakes him gently.

"Um… what? We already won the war?" Lou says, still half-asleep, and then realizes where he is, "Oh, sorry, Scout. Guess I did it again."

"No problem here, Grandpa, but you should see a doctor. One day, you're going to miss something big because of your oversleeping."

"Actually, Tommy, I once missed something really big."

"Really? What it was?"

"November."

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Harold is at the park, jogging in an attempt to lose weight faster and kiss his diet good-bye. Timmy, with a couple of band-aids on his face, meets him.

"Why don't you roll, Rumkin? In your case, it's way faster."

"Maybe, but I don't want to go fast, Tim," Harold, as usual, ignores the insult, "but to lose weight. I have to do it as quickly as possible."

"Why don't you do like me, and practice boxing?"

"Thanks for the suggestion, Tim, but you know I'm not exactly the most aggressive guy around."

"Think about it; I already lost ten pounds in less than 2 weeks."

"Really? You burn that many calories?"

"No," Tim rubs his right cheek in pain, "but my jaw aches so much I can only feed on liquids."

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Phil is at the Finsters' place, visiting Kimi. After several hours, Chaz informs him that it's getting a little late and he should go home before his parents get worried. Kimi goes with him to the door to say 'Good night' to each other, while Chuckie, who is watching TV, waves his friend good-bye.

After almost an hour, Chuckie notices his sister is still at the door, talking with Phil. Chuckie stands up to check them, and approaches Kimi from behind right when she and Phil are finally done and she closes the door.

"Kimi, that took a long! Doesn't Phil know how to say 'Good Night'?"

Kimi, with a love-sick face, and her hair slightly messy, turns and passes next to her stunned brother.

"Oh, yes, he knows… and how!"

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Tommy, Phil, Dil and Harold are walking downtown.

"I think there was a severe lack of butter." Phil comments.

"But the salt was on the right dosage." Harold points.

"And the bag had quality and integrity." Dil adds.

"And the freshness wasn't bad, actually." Phil admits.

Tommy rolls his eyes, and directs to his companions.

"You three are the only guys I know who go to the movies to critic the popcorn."

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Angelica is pacing back and forth on her living room, concerned. Then, she hears her doorbell, and dashes to open. Chuckie and Tommy enter the house, both with tired looks.

"You couldn't find her?" Angelica sighs sadly.

"No, Angelica, sorry; we checked every where, and Dil and Harold are still searching, but it seems Fluffy is no longer at the neighborhood." Tommy informs her while Chuckie put his hands on the girl's shoulders to try comforting her.

"My poor pet… she is almost my age, guys! We practically grew up together! She can't survive at the streets on her own!"

"I have an idea, Angie," Chuckie's expression brightens slightly; "you are friend with the school newspaper's editor, so why don't you call him and give Fluffy's description and maybe a photo, and offer a reward on tomorrow paper? That way there will be several persons looking for her."

"Hey, that's not a bad one, Finster!" Angelica smiles and kisses him. Then, she takes out her cell phone to call her mother and ask for the money. After a few minutes, she thanks her, and starts dialing the editor's phone number.

"How much are you going to offer, Angelica?" Tommy asks her.

"My mom authorized me to offer 200 dollars, cousin," Angelica tells, making the boys' jaws to fall immediately, "Don't get so surprised; Fluffy is a genuine Persian, very expensive, and when young she won a few blue ribbons."

The next day, Angelica goes to school, and once at her classroom starts chatting with Harold and Susie. After almost twenty minutes, her teacher hadn't arrived, so everyone is either relaxing or getting anxious. Then, the principal's voice is heard through the speakers.

"Attention, students, I'm announcing that we'll have no classes today since no teacher presented to work… apparently, all of them are searching for a cat."

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Dil and Chuckie are arguing.

"I tell you, Chuckie, lightning is faster than normal light!"

"Dil, nothing is faster than light! And there's no speed difference between regular light and lightning."

"You guys are arguing? Weird." Both carrot tops turn to look at Phil, who is approaching them.

"It's not really an argument, Phil, just a difference of opinions." Dil explains.

"Yes; Dil says that lightning is faster than normal light, and I'm telling him that's the same thing because nothing is as fast as light. What do you think?"

"That you're both wrong. Diarrhea is faster than lightning and light." Phil says confidently.

"Diarrhea?" Dil and Chuckie chorus, puzzled.

"Sure; last month, I was sleeping when a stomach ache woke me up. I stood up like lightning, turned on the light… and by then, I was already dirty."

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Lil phones Tommy.

"Tommy? It's me, Lil; can your family come home for dinner?"

"Sure, Lil, I'm telling my parents!" Tommy replies, happy about the idea of dining with his girlfriend.

"Good, and, can you do me a favor? Call Angelica and Susie so they and their families can come as well; I'll phone The Finsters, Harold, and anyone I can think right now."

"Whoa! Why are you inviting so many people?" Tommy asks, puzzled, as Lil sighs the other side of the line.

"Dad tried a stew's recipe from a friend of his… and forgot the guy was an army cook!"

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Chuckie is going to Angelica's house, and finds Harold walking out.

"Hi, Harold! Angelica is at home?"

"Yes, but you'll better not go inside right now, Chuckie." Harold gets an uneasy expression, "She's doing something you might not like."

"What?" Chuckie panics, "Tell me the true, please! Is she… ch--ch--cheating on me?"

"Worse… she is singing."

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Sean is walking at the park, and, from nowhere, Timmy appears and grabs him by the collar.

"Where's the money you owe me, Butler?" Tim snaps at him.

"Uh… I don't have it yet, Tim, honestly!" Sean gulps. Tim gets even angrier, and forces him to walk at the closest fountain.

"Let's solve this!" Tim forces Sean's head into the water while yelling at him, after a few seconds, he takes him out.

"Show me the money!"

Tim forces Sean again into the water, this time keeping him in that position for a longer time.

"Show me the money!"

Tim repeats the operation 10 times, until Sean makes him a signal to talk.

"Tim, let's go search for the money somewhere else… because I don't see it down there!

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There's a carnival at the gang's school, and Angelica is in charge of the kissing booth.

"Are you sure about this, Angelica?" Susie asks her friend as she applies some lipstick.

"Of course I am, Susie. I'm getting extra credits for participating, and selling kisses isn't exactly hard."

"But, don't you think Chuckie might feel jealous?"

"That's the beauty of dating him; Finster is the most understanding guy ever." Angelica shrugs, "He only gave me one condition."

"What condition?"

Angelica chuckles and points over Susie's shoulder; the Afro-American turns and sees Chuckie approaching them carrying his whole allowance at his hands.

"He is buying the first two dozens."

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The school's soccer team is playing a very hard game. Both teams are tied with no goals on any side, and the game is about to finish. Then, Lil sees an opening and, taking her chance, passes the ball to Phil, who is unmarked; he shoots and…

"GOOOOOAAAAAL!"

The team's fans start cheering while the other team's curse their luck and cry. Phil and Lil's teammates surround the twins, and they get in the middle of a massive hug, when suddenly…

"Hold on!" Phil yells angrily, making the whole celebration to stop, "Look, the hugging, I like it… but I want to know, here and now, who is the wise guy who kissed me!"

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Angelica is standing at the middle of the school yard, clenching her teeth and fists.

"There are exactly eight hundred students in this school…"

Chuckie, who is next to her, backs slowly as her ranting continues.

"… thirty teachers…"

Harold and Susie, at a distance, gulp and ran away.

"… five people working at the cafeteria…"

Several students around the blonde notice her face getting redder by the second, and retire as fast as possible.

"… ten maintenance persons…"

Vice-Principal Pangborn arrives at the scene to see what's going on, but, when noticing Angelica, he also runs for coverage.

"… and two secretaries and the guy who came to repair the air conditioner…"

"Here it comes." Dil, hiding behind a bench alongside Tommy and Phil, whispers as everyone covers their ears.

"AND THAT STUPID PIDGEON HAD TO PLAY ITS STUNT ON ME!"

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Phil arrives home carrying a piglet.

"Phil, what are you doing with that pig?" Lil asks after recovering from surprise.

"I found him at the street, sis," Phil tells her, "I think is kind of funny, so I'm asking Mom and Dad to keep it as a pet."

"Are you crazy? Where are we going to keep a pig?"

"Well, in my room, duh."

"Yeah, right," Lil rolls her eyes in annoyance, "and how about the smell?"

"Ah, don't worry, Lil… he'll get used to it."

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Angelica approaches Savannah, who is chatting with a group of popular girls.

"Hey, Savannah, I have news for you; a good and a bad one. Which one do you want to hear first?"

"The good one, of course," Savannah says in a snobbish tone.

"Well, the good one is that Steve, the guy you had been drooling for since last year, told me he likes you."

"YES!" Savannah exclaims in happiness, and then smirks at her companions, "You see, losers? I told all of you he'll eventually fall for me!"

The other girls groan in annoyance at the brunette's display, and then Savannah directs to Angelica again.

"You see, Pickles? Now I have a real boyfriend, not like that geek you're dating," Savannah folds her arms, "Oh, well… what's the bad new?"

Angelica grins widely, and, slowly, starts walking away.

"I'm a liar."

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And now, a joke set at the Middle-Ages.

In a large castle, Harold, the court jester, runs desperately around the corridors and halls.

"God save the king! God save the king!"

Tommy, one of the royal knights, arches an eyebrow at him.

"Harold, your loyalty and enthusiasm are something to admire, but you don't need to say that when the king isn't present."

"I know, Sir Pickles," Harold stops, panting, and getting a concerned look, "but he is at his room with the cook's daughter… and the queen is coming!"

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Kimi is visiting Susie, and she offers her some home-made cake.

"I did it myself." Susie says proudly.

"And how it tastes?" Kimi looks at the dessert; as almost anything Susie cooks, it doesn't look edible at all.

"Well, my brother, Edwin, ate some of it yesterday, and said it can't get better."

Edwin enters the room, holding his belly, and looks at the girls.

"Not exactly, Susie… I said I ate some of it yesterday, and, since then, I can't get better."

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Angelica is at the hospital visiting Spencer, her little friend she met when doing volunteer work in there. After a while of chatting, Spencer gets a thoughtful expression.

"Can I ask you something, Angelica?"

"Sure, Spence."

"What's the difference between boys and girls? I've asked about every nurse in here, and none want to answer me."

"Well… okay, I'm telling you." Angelica clears her throat, "The first difference is that we, the girls, have no balls…"

"Really?"

"… or bats, or catching gloves, since we usually don't like baseball."

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Harold is at a dinner finishing a pretty large meal.

"Want to order dessert, young man?" The waiter asks him.

"Yes; what do you have?"

"Chocolate cake, strawberry jell-o, banana split, apple and cherry pie, cheesecake, and fudge," The man tells him.

"Good… serve in that order, please."

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Dil is using his Arabian magician outfit at school. Savannah looks at him, and starts mocking the boy.

"Looks like circus is in town… ups, sorry, I forgot they left yesterday. But it seems they left a clown!"

"Your words don't affect me, non-believer." Dil replies calmly, "I'm dedicated to expand my mind frontiers and discover the world's mysteries through meditation, palm reading, and talking with my smashed potatoes."

"Yeah, right," Savannah replies sarcastically, and then gets an idea, "If you're such a mystic guy, why don't you make me a demonstration?"

"Sure; I'll read your palm." Dil offers her, and the girl accepts. The boy looks at the girl's hand, and gets a serious expression; Savannah actually gets intrigued because of the obvious concentration and the way he is looking.

"Bad. This is bad."

"What are you talking about?"

"According to your hand's lines, you'll suffer from love deceptions, professional failures, and several diseases until you turn 30."

"It can't be true!" Savannah gasps in fear and surprise, "Okay, that's until I turn 30… what happens next?"

"You get used." Dil shrugs and leaves a stunned girl.

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Chuckie is walking, almost running, to return home, since it's getting late. He passes in front of the cemetery, and stops, getting an anxious and doubtful expression. He knows that the place is a short-cut, but, being Chuckie, he is afraid of walking through the cemetery on his own, especially since it's already getting dark.

"Do you have a problem, young man?"

Chuckie turns when hearing a nice-looking old man.

"Oh… well… it's just that I need to use the cemetery for a short-cut, sir, but… I'm afraid of doing it."

"I can walk with you if you want."

"Thanks a lot, mister; my name is Chuckie, by the way." The boy shakes the man's hand, sighing in relief. They both walk through the cemetery, the man incredibly relaxed, so Chuckie eventually relaxes a little as well. Ten minutes later, they're the other side.

"Thanks a lot, sir," the boy says while walking good-bye, "Sorry I bothered you; I had always been kind of a nervous guy."

"Oh, never mind, kid," The man shrugs, "I also feared this place when I was ALIVE."