"I knew it was a bad idea to leave you two alone."
Mary Shannon looked down at Catherine Jones, a woman whose safety had been her responsibility for the past year. She then turned her attention to the greatest threat they'd come across - one Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He was the only person from her past that Catherine spent any time talking about. And Mary knew he was the one person who could take her charge's eyes off the prize.
Gibbs stood up to face Mary eye-to-eye, glare-to-glare.
"8B. You're supposed to be in 8B," he said as he pointed to the back row of their cabin.
Catherine looked between the two of them, trying to stifle a laugh, knowing far too well that neither would appreciate it.
Mary wasn't one to back down. "Listen, Gibbs, that glare thing you do might scare most people you come into contact with, but to me - it's whatever. You got that? I don't care about you or what you think or whatever feelings you feel like vomiting all over Catherine here. Not my problem."
"Then leave," Gibbs growled.
"Not my problem, that is, until it jeopardizes my work. Don't go promising her things you are not in a position to deliver." She leaned in close to him for what she had to say next. "It took her a long time to find some peace. If you really do love her, you won't go screwing that up now. Got it?"
Gibbs realized he had to listen to Mary because he did care. He cared more than he thought possible and more than Mary could ever imagine. He realized he was going to need her as an ally. "Screwing it up how, exactly?" He genuinely wanted to understand.
Mary motioned for him to follow her back to the eighth row. Gibbs looked down at Catherine first. As if reading his mind, she said, "Honestly? Where do you think I'm going to be able to run off to?" She put her sunglasses back on, leaned the seat back and put on her headphones.
He couldn't resist kissing her head as he made his way back to sit with Mary. Cat smiled but once he was gone, her mood darkened. She was still trying to process the fact that Jethro had said he loved her. It was everything she ever wanted and yet the timing couldn't be worse. Mary would have to set him straight. Cat decided she didn't want to think about it anymore and instead simply appreciate that it had happened at all. But her mind was racing.
"8A is empty, so sit," offered Mary.
The two sat in silence for a few moments, sizing each other up.
Mary broke the stalemate. "So how do you see this working out?"
Gibbs hesitated. "She asked something similar."
Mary nodded. "That's because she's been in the program for a year. She understand its use - and its limitations."
Gibbs ran his hands over his face, as if trying to wake himself up from a dream. "What are you trying to say?"
"I'll get right to the point. You can't see her again."
"Not an option," he said, visibly upset by her statement. Mary almost felt sorry for him - if she was one to care about other people's feelings.
"Listen, Gibbs, I get it. You love her. You think you've witnessed a miracle because you finally have a chance to tell her all the things you were too selfish or stupid to tell her when she was in your life every day and you were taking her being there for granted. I get that. But here's the thing. Unless you are ready to give up everything in your life - your friends, your job, your house, and yes - even your boat - you cannot see her again."
"How much did she tell you about me? I mean, you talk like you think you know me, Ms. Shannon. You know a laundry list of items. You don't … know … me."
"So are you saying you're willing to give up everything to be with her? Because that's what we're talking about here. It's changing your name. It's changing your occupation. It's kissing your old life goodbye. We can't have you dropping in for a visit any time you feel like it. This is an all or nothing proposition with her life hanging in the balance. Do you get that?"
He was trying very hard to remain calm. "I'm not a stupid man. I hear what you're saying."
She looked at her watch. "Listen, we still have several hours. I suggest you make the most of it. But please keep what I've said in mind. And don't make promises to her that you can't keep. It's not fair to either of you."
With that, Mary stood up to let him out. He nodded before returning to Jenny or rather to Cat. So many thoughts were swimming around in his head. A part of him wished he could retreat to his basement, where he could work on his boat while trying to make sense of the entire situation. He slipped past Cat into his seat.
Cat took her headphones and sunglasses off, turning to face Gibbs. They tried to communicate with their eyes, saying the things to each other that really mattered, things they both had trouble putting into words.
Gibbs took a deep breath. "We have so much to talk about. I really don't want to waste a second of it." He leaned his head against the seat, close to her own. Their foreheads touched, as they continued their conversation barely above a whisper, holding hands. "Ducky told me that you were dying. Was that true or was it part of this?"
"Part of this. That was the original extraction plan, but then Svetlana happened and I guess you could say the folks at Witsec decided it was too good an opportunity to pass up. I'm so sorry I left you such a mess."
"Rule 6."
Cat rolled her eyes. "I got Decker killed. I essentially got myself killed and I almost got you killed. If that isn't apology worthy, what is?"
"The fact that I had the chance every day for three years to tell you that I never stopped loving you but didn't."
She turned her head to look him in the eyes. She saw just a hint of tears starting to form.
"I'm so sorry, Jen. I'm just so sorry. Maybe if I had…"
She saw the desperation and pain in his eyes but felt powerless, not knowing how to make it go away. She couldn't handle seeing him falling apart in front of her eyes. She did the only thing she could think of - she quickly crawled across the arm rest onto his lap and wrapped her arms around him. He held her tightly against him, burying his head into her shoulder, sobbing. Finally, he was able to release all of the emotions he had bottled up about her "death." Finally, he was allowed to feel and express the love and loss he'd felt for this woman he saw as his partner, his lover, his best friend. As he cried for all they had lost, for all that seemed lost, she cradled his head, threading her fingers through his hair, simply repeating the same phrase over and over again as a whisper into his ear, "I love you, Jethro. I love you so much."
