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Chapter Four

When the shit goes down ya better be ready (when the shit goes down)

"Ah no Hap get up" I'm not ready to join the world yet but I can't stop the invasion from cypress hill no matter how tightly squeeze the pillow in over my head.

When the shit goes down ya better be ready (when the shit goes down)

"Hap you're fucking cells going off "As I reach out and try and push at him I realize I'm the only one in bed.

When the shit goes down ya better be ready (when the shit goes down)

The ring stops for about thirty seconds and starts up again.

When the shit goes down ya better be ready (when the shit goes down)

"FUCK, FUCK" I jump up and run to his cut and pull it out disoriented and a little sore from the night before still foggy headed I still refrain from answering, I want to answer it but I'm pretty sure Hap would get pissed especial with this ring tone coming out loud and clear. Cypress Hill means shit going down and he's out.

When the shit goes down ya better be ready (ya better be ready)

"FUCK HAP?" The shower isn't running but his cuts here so know he's got to be some were close I stumble down my hall and head for the back door sure enough Hap's out in my driveway working on his bike. I rub at my eyes as I open the door and just hold out the cell i know he'll hear it and come grab it.

When the shit goes down ya better be ready (when the shit goes down)

When the shit goes down ya better be ready (when the shit goes down)

When the shit goes down ya better be ready (ya better be ready)

I watch him as he starts heading up the stairs two at a time the man moves long lean and predatory as he gets to me he reaches for the cell and flips it open.

"Yeah" Is all he says. He steps in and I back up Happy is looking down at me and he's got a smile which is a rare thing especially one that big. My foggy brain registers it just as it hit's me I'm buck naked. He backs me up into the wall as he listens to the voice on the other end his hand goes to my jaw and cups my face and leans in and brushes his lips across mine and leans into me.

"I got it"

"Few, I'm in Oregon"

His hand is sliding down my arm he steps back and tugs me and starts walking me back to my room. I pull back gently just enough so he'll look back at me and points in the direction of the bathroom. And I mouth the word shower and point at him as I turn and head in i know he'll join me when the calls done. I on other hand need a hot shower to ease the aches of my muscle happy may be 25 years my senior but the man leaves me feeling like I did a marathon run every and i need time to get my emotions under control before I have to watch him rev up and leave me. I step in to the hot water easing the body aches, wish it washed all the turmoil I got going on in my head Happy' been in my life for 3 years the first year was all me infatuated wishful full of fantasy .Happy he never took me up on all my teen angst crush shit.

Don't get me wrong I tried to get him to fuck me before I even turned eighteen. But he'd slam the breaks down hard when things got to far he'd pin me down and hold me tight and whisper in my ear how he was a perverted fucking asshole, that I should stop talking to him, I needed to find some civilian who could be the man in bed when I went to sleep every night. He laid shit out cold and brutal

"I fuck yah and forget you, pussy is pussy" All kids of shit came out his mouth how he was never gunna be on the right side of things. How he was never gunna stop being a SON and that me in that world was never gunna be good. That every time he parked his bike there was a bitch ready for him so long as he could slide his dick in cunt, ass or mouth there was no need to have all the shit that came from having an old hurting a mother fucker was never an issue. He's never come flat out and said hey girl i fucking kill people who fuck with us. But let's face it the man has men of mayhem and enforcer patch on his cut and a nine mil under it. What the fuck is he the tooth fairy? He even stopped coming around for a bit didn't call for 3 months didn't answer the thousands I made to him. I gave up on him ever coming back. That is till he was all i had to connect me to this world on my 18 birthday my father drank his last drink leaving me alone family except the un-located mother who's out there some were but she's a lost cause in my book she was never there when i was a kid it was all dad.

For all my dad was a drunk and i spent a lot of time putting his drunk ass to bed or taking care of him as he wasted away from it. We were close I grew up at his side crayons and paper him at his keyboard, my dad working on cars making me laugh even when i was in a piss ass mood , coming back to his home town cause he thought having a roof over my head was more important than his ambitions. That night after the meat wagon took dad I sat in my hall feeling the quite air of it I must have sat there for hours just numb and terrified it was then that i wanted him; it was then that I began dialling and dialling over and over again till his rabid "what" finally came through.

"Happy I'm scared... Hap there no one left please, please just- I can't... I don't know... I can't " Sobs started pouring out of me i had no more control.

"Please hap don't make me be alone"

He didn't ask me what was wrong didn't tell me to get a grip all he said is

"I'm coming, you get me? You ain't alone" I hung up and just continued sobbing till was exhausted and passed out waking up still sobbing as he was picking me up off the floor. Happy took over he planned my dad' funeral he picked his casket I sat in bed and just stared at my ceiling only eating or getting up when happy told me I should I had no will of my own no want no need to care for myself. Only the never ending fear of being alone in the world consumed me leaving me weak and sobbing into my pillow. Only rising at Hap's command.

"Get up time to say your last words to your old man"

Happy dressed me brushed my hair and stood beside me as the casket was lowered to the ground placing the first hand full of dirt in my hand he said.

"Let him go with this girl say your piece and let it all go"

Dad's funeral brought people around, this was his home town and he did alright here but I knew none of them there condolences meaning nothing. Hap held my hand and said thank you for me. After all was said and done hap put me in the bath he washed my hair and talked i have no idea what he said but he just kept talking and with each word i came up a rung on my desperation till my eyes cleared and all i could see was colour Hap' colours, his ink. I followed it first with my eyes then with my soapy fingertip the tat around his neck (I live I die I kill for my family) the green serpent the cluster of happy faces all these vibrant shades green, yellow popping off him pulled at me hap covered my hand with his and stood up pulling me up with him.

"You take this step you might hate it latter just let me take care of you let me be good for just this once okay?" I don't think I said anything but I finally looked at him and whatever it was he saw in my eyes behind my tears may have been fear or how lost i was but it made him growl and kiss me not a gentle or soft kiss the kind that sucks the air from your lungs and makes you light headed, he carried me to bed laid me out wet and soapy. He dropped his jeans and climbed between my legs pining me by my wrists above my head and started nipping and sucking at me neck following to the mounds of my breast he licked the underside of my breast to my nipple sucking on it hard making me arch up I could feel him hard silk warm against my inner thigh he was ruff and dominate. I felt him let go of my wrist as he raised himself i must have made a sound because he shushed me with a kiss this one soft his hands trailed down my chest to my pussy he circled my clit and then slid his finger right in my hips raised to meet each of his strokes when he took his figures from me he brought them to his mouth and sucked my juices of he leaned back down into me his cock replacing his fingers I closed my eyes but Happy wanted me aware an in the moment.

"Avvra look at me, this is what you want?"

"Yes Hap this, you are what I want"

He slid in slow till he realized he was in uncharted territory he looked down at me my eyes wide.

"Fuck" Looking up at him and I saw shock and a little regret he's eyes closed and I felt him shudder I knew in an instant that he was gunna put the brakes on what was happening, but I need this after being vacant and scared for days I need this feeling of connection of real flesh & bone desire the want of all of it I wrapped my legs around him and pushed up with my hips bring him in all the way in felt the small flash of pain of giving my virginity forcing him to take it I cried out.

"I need you"

Happy was panting in my ear i heard him say.

"You got me... all of me" I started to giggle Happy leaned up and smiled he fucked me slow letting me feel each stroke kissing me intensifying the pace a little at a time till his hand slides up and into my hair pulling my head back as his other arm slides under me around my waist and pulls me up so that he can reach deeper as i start to cum he kisses me and leans back up.

"Look at me I want to see you cum for me show me what a good girl you are" I came staring into his eyes and he came starring into mine. Hap' become my world I've stayed in this shit whole town that I hate even after my dad died I've submitted my body, my will. I have let go of all desires of my own. All so I can be here when he graces me with his presence I have no one in this world but him and I want nothing more than my hunger for him, his rumbled voice, his canvassed skin under my tongue his hard callused hands griping me as I fall away from reality when I'm his good girl and I feel his satisfaction in me. Truth is I got no real clue what his world is like, but I want to know i want to be there day in and day out. I want to not have the late night calls were I babble because he needs me to distract him from himself. I want him to feel me in those moments. I want to be a part of his world good or bad.

When he talks which is rare about the club members, His brothers and their wives and their kids it's always as if he's referring to his own family they hold the same reverence in his voices as when he talks about his mother. I want that depth of loyalty i want to be etched by him marked in his insignia I want Happy and finally Happy wants me.

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