Warnings: Not many other than more disturbing mental imagery, that is if you do not like GaixSakuraxLee, which strangely enough, I do after writing this. Also some mild cursing and mildly descriptive… uhm… how do I put this… barf?


Lessons in Shinobi Love

Chapter 4: The Aftermath


Sakura awoke to a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. She blinked several times, trying to adjust to the blinding light that seemed to be pouring in from a nearby window. She groaned as she shifted in the bed, her head spinning and throbbing, and pain shot down her spine as if she had been in some hardcore battle the night before. She struggled to gather her thoughts, but the pain enveloping her body stole her concentration.

"1635… 1636… 1637…"

Sakura could hear what she guessed to be one… no… two men counting in unison. She balled her hands into fists and warily rubbed them against her eyes. What happened last night? And where the hell am I? She realized that the green satin sheets she lay in did not belong to her bed. As the realization hit her, she began to panic. She was not in her bed, which meant she was not in her house, which meant she had stayed the night at some man's house. Her heart rate quickened as she desperately tried to remember the events of the night prior. All she could seem to recall was drinking with Naruto and the gang in celebration of St. Patrick's Day.

"1659… 1660…" The counting continued, and Sakura fearfully lifted her head to inspect the source. Her eyes shot open in horror as she found herself staring at a pair of naked genitals moving up and down in the same rhythm as the counting. Bile quickly rose up her throat and into her mouth as she stared in awe at what appeared to be two upside-down naked men, one significantly shorter than the other. Their feet were in the air and their packages swung and hopped with each number spoken and each upward movement. Despite her inner disapproval, she sat up fully to further examine who each of the genitalia belonged to. Sharp pains raked her body with each slight movement she made, making conscious thoughts more and more difficult. Through the pain and nausea, she was unfortunately able to gather the fact that she had possibly been with not just one person the night before, but two. She also realized, as she stared down at herself, that she was completely nude, and rather battered. What have I done? She cried to herself.

Now in a full upright position in the bed, Sakura could almost see the faces of her mystery nude men, who were apparently doing push-ups. Before she had the chance to take a good look, her right hand ran across something strange at her side. She turned to find a green lump of some fabric other than the sheets. She strained her eyes, still struggling to recover her vision. The material felt rather stretchy as she picked it up. Horror filled her as she made out the item in question. It can't be! Oh God, please tell me this is just a coincidence… or some sick joke. Please! She prayed to herself as she slowly crawled towards the end of the bed.

To Sakura's utter regret, she found herself staring at a matching pair of fuzzy-browed faces, covered in sweat from their morning routine. Both men spotted the ghostly white face of Sakura peering at them from the edge of the bed. Together, the naked beasts of Konoha back-flipped and spun in one swift motion. Gai stood tall and proud in all his glory, his hands placed firmly on his hips as he flashed his pearly whites. Lee stood, not as confident, beside his mentor, his beady eyes watching Sakura closely.

"Good morning Sakura-san!" Lee exclaimed as Sakura raised her head to gaze nauseously at the two.

"Last night's training went great! I am proud of you Sakura!" Gai exclaimed, giving Sakura a thumbs up.

Sakura's eyes slowly moved from Lee's face to Gai's disgustingly enthusiastic smile. That was it for her. She quickly leapt from the bed, running in search of the restroom. Thankfully, it happened to be right outside the bedroom. She threw herself at the toilet, hanging her head over it as she retched and heaved, body fluids pouring from her mouth in a very un-ladylike fashion. She could hear Lee rush in behind her, kneeling down beside her. He rested a hand upon her shoulder, most likely meant for comfort, but it only made Sakura heave more. She wished more than anything; she could just expel everything that had happened, retch until her mind was clear of all the vile things that slowly came back to her.

"Sakura-san, are you alright?" Lee whispered, gently rubbing Sakura's back.

Sakura's eyes moved from the overfilled toilet to the crouching boy beside her. She stopped upon the boy's package which lay so open and clear before her. She heard Gai come in, hovering over her, and she just knew he was standing with his stuff on display just as openly as Lee's. Have they no shame? No dignity? No respect for the weak-stomached? She whined in her head as she returned to the toilet to expel more stomach bile. She really did not give a rat's ass that she was currently sitting on the bathroom floor in the nude, her legs wrapped around the toilet, and her face hanging over the opening as disgusting green liquids spilled from her mouth. She honestly could not look disgusting enough to make the two overly-hairy men disappear. She was going to kill Naruto for this.

"Perhaps a nice cold shower will return you to your youthful self, Sakura," Gai suggested as he crouched down at Sakura's other side. Sakura turned to him, her face expressionless and the corners of her mouth harboring residual stomach bile. His disgustingly goofy face just smiled back. Her head began to spin again and her body went numb. Her eyes closed as she began to fall back, and she prayed that they would just let her head hit the floor and end her misery. Of course, Sakura was not a lucky girl. Denying her of her desired unconsciousness, Gai and Lee caught her just before her head could hit the tiled floor, and together they scooped her into their arms, carrying her towards the shower.

Her eyes closed, and her body relaxed, Sakura began to daydream about being someplace wonderful. As she heard the shower turn on, she pictured herself dancing through the streets in the gentle rain. Lee removed one of his hands from under her to gently brush aside a few strands of pink hair that had fallen across her face, and she imagined the hand belonged to Sasuke, who was joining her in her romp amongst the rain.

Reality hit Sakura hard in the face as she felt the shockingly cold water hit her body as she was placed into an insanely cold shower. Her eyes shot open, a scream escaping her lips as she struggled to free herself from the strong hold of the men.

"Do not fret Sakura-san. The cool water will rejuvenate your body," Lee tried to reassure Sakura as she struggled to free herself.

"Yes, Lee is correct Sakura. A cold shower cleanses the soul and tightens the muscles, bringing you back to your youth!" Gai chimed in.

Sakura was finally free from the grasp of the men, but was sandwiched between the two, facing Gai. Her body wavered, her mind still rather cloudy, leaving her disoriented. She fell against Gai's large chest and a strange warmth rushed through her body, concentrating in an area she least expected. She stared, without expression, at the well-defined chest before her. Why am I feeling suddenly aroused? I'm completely sober now. There's no excuse for this! She scolded herself mentally. Yet, she could not seem to peel her eyes from Gai's chest, at least until she found something else a little lower to fixate on. She groaned in pain, uneasiness, and pleasure all in one as the cold water fell down her back, and the warmth of two men's skin pressed against her front and backside. She closed her eyes a reveled in the mixed emotions as Gai and Lee both stepped closer to her, wrapping their arms around her and each other in a caring embrace.

Sakura was surprised at how warm she felt despite the freezing cold water cascading down her body. She pondered in her mind, how two guys she had used to find so obnoxious and queer, could be so arousing. Maybe it was the fact that she was with two guys, not necessarily the guys in particular that she was with. Or maybe it really was them. They were rather passionate, not to mention strong-willed and energetic.

Sakura inwardly scolded herself for even thinking of the possibility that she could find either men attractive in any manner. I can't let this go any further. I must end this now before I do something while I'm sober. As long as all I've done was while I was drunk, then I can claim I was taken advantage of. Satisfied with that thought, Sakura quickly removed herself form between the Konoha beast sandwich and made a mad dash into the bedroom, throwing on only her skirt and top, neglecting her undergarments to save time. Just as Gai and Lee emerged from the bathroom to question her, she dashed out the front door and into the thankfully empty streets.

"Sakura! Come back later for more training!" Lee and Gai called out in unison as they watched Sakura disappear down the street.

Lee turned to his sensei, a look of concern apparent on his face. "Gai-sensei, do you think that Sakura-san is going to be alright?"

Gai nodded in certainty as he replied, "Of course Lee! In fact, I am certain she will be back later tonight for another round!"

Lee smiled, holding a fist out before him triumphantly as he spoke, "I will thrust into my little flower 1000 times tonight! And if I can not, I will thrust 5000 times!" Gai's eyes filled with tears of joy as he watched and listened with great pride. That's my Lee.


Meanwhile, Sakura headed straight for the one place she knew she could find her current target. As she came upon the Ichiraku ramen shop, she spotted the blond-haired ninja she had been searching for. "Na-ru-to," she growled under her breath.

Naruto spun on his stool, dripping ramen noodles hanging from his mouth. He slurped them up, the juices splashing onto Sakura's already fuming face. "Hi Sakura-chan!" he exclaimed with a bright and sheepish smile on his face. He stepped down from his seat and approached her, hand behind his head, oblivious to his horrible fate. "Yesterday was a blast wasn't it?" He paused briefly, as if contemplating something. "By the way, where did you go for the rest of the night? Ino said she thought she saw you carried off by someone in green spandex. Did you hang out with Lee?"

Naruto's prodding only worsened his fate as Sakura's eyes twitched with each word spoken. Naruto's expression changed as he watched Sakura step closer and closer to him, a look of pure rage on her pretty little face.

"I'm going to kill you Naruto. I'll give you 5 seconds to run as fast as you can," Sakura seethed, raising a fist to Naruto's face.

Naruto raised his hands before his own face, waving them erratically. "Wait a second Sakura!" he howled, taking several steps back.

"1… 2…"

Naruto continued to step back until he was cornered between Sakura and the ramen shop wall. "I'm sorry! I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry!"

"3…"

Sakura took several more steps closer, breaking the already small distance between them. Her eyes narrowed dangerously.

"4…"

"Sakura please! I'll make it up to you! Are you mad about the drinking?" Naruto tried desperately to negotiate with the furious girl.

"5…"

"Crap!" Naruto yelled as he turned on his heel and began running for his life.

"I'll catch you Naruto! And you will pay for what you've put me through!" Sakura yelled sadistically as she took off after him.


Sakura, Hinata, Kiba, Tenten, Naruto, Ino, and Choji all sat at a large table, discussing future missions. Naruto sat at the opposite side of Sakura, cowering from her gaze as he held a hand over his puffy and blackened right eye.

Gai and Lee approached from behind Sakura, who was unaware of their presence.

"Sakura, will you be joining us soon for more training?" Lee blurted out.

Gai was quick to follow with his own horribly wrong statement, "We very much enjoyed last night's round. I feel young again!"

Sakura's eyes grew large as bile once again returned to her mouth and her stomach churned. The other members of their meeting stared at her in awe, each one, with the exception of naïve Naruto, caught the implications of the green beasts' words. Naruto looked from Sakura, to Lee, to Gai, to the others and back to Sakura. "What's wrong?" he questioned, dumfounded by everyone's strange reactions.

Hinata leaned closer to Naruto, whispering something for only him to hear, a blush on her face as she spoke. Naruto's eyes widened as she sat back in her chair. "Sakura! You slept with fuzzy-brows and Gai-sensei?!" he hollered, earning sighs and moans from the surrounding onlookers. "Way to go Sakura!"

Sakura stared blankly as the world turned black before her. Finally, luck was on her side as her vision and hearing faded out and she quickly passed out.


A/N: It is complete! Please tell me somebody out there has the same deranged and sick sense of humor I do, and found this at least semi-amusing! Heck, I'll be happy even if you tell me it was sexy, though not my intentions. Either way, I laughed the entire time and I guess that's what counts.