Bella
What was I thinking? Too much and not at all at the same time. Clearly I had learned nothing from my mistakes. So quickly I was falling back into my old habits and yet I was doing nothing to change that. I was voluntarily slipping down a slippery slope and fast. I owed this coven nothing, nothing at all, yet when Edward asked me a question I felt compelled to answer him.
"What does that mean exactly," he asked me.
I glanced around and noticed that I had the attention of everyone in the room. I didn't like it, but the fact that I had my speed, agility, and plenty chances of escape in this room made me feel a little better, a little more in control. I looked back at Edward and mulled over how much I should say.
"Bella we had the perfect opportunity to hurt you when you were lying immobile upstairs for three weeks. Don't you think if we wanted to hurt you, we would have done so already," he asked.
"If you were smart, you wouldn't have. It's senseless to kill a vampire before you know what you can gain by keeping it," I replied.
I reluctantly took the buds from my ears and moved away from Edward. The whole room watched me as I situated myself beside the door and it unnerved me. I decided to answer just to get the attention off me.
"What I mean is that the second I come into contact with another vampire, I know what their gift is. Let's take Edward for example," I began nodding in his direction. "When he came into the room the night I was brought here I knew instantly that he was a mind reader. I knew that he could hear every mind within a two and half mile radius. I know that the longer he's around a person the farther out he can hear them, but he maxes out at seven miles. He can hear their thoughts in the same voice in which that person speaks and in what speed or volume they're thinking in," I said rattling off everything I knew about Edward's gift. I could see out the corner of my eyes that he was staring at me slack jawed. I took an unnecessary deep breath and kept going.
"So I can take all these things I know and change them. I can control how loud he hears the thoughts, who's thoughts, how much he hears, how far, the speed in which he hears, or the fact that he hears at all," I explained simultaneously messing with his gift to demonstrate to him what I meant as I spoke.
"Oh my God," he breathed in what I guessed was awe. "When you're thoughts were blurred earlier? You sped them up so that I couldn't hear exactly what you were thinking?" he asked.
I nodded my head, "Yes."
"What about when you first awoke and you were assessing all of us? You were thinking so fast but I caught every word," he said.
"I didn't muddle your gift then. I wanted you to know you that I was aware of the situation I was in," I told him before continuing my explanation. "Then in the case of let's say Emmett…"
"Wait a minute," Jasper cut me off. "Emmett doesn't have a gift."
"Every vampire has a gift. It may not be supernatural but there is something special in everyone," I said. "A gift is nothing but a quality that was more substantial in us when we were human that just enhances like our senses when we change. Jasper am I wrong in saying that when you were human you found it very easy to influence people. Make them sad, happy, or angry?" I asked.
He glanced at Carlisle before hesitantly nodding his head in the affirmative.
"When you changed that aspect of yourself enhanced into something supernatural. Now Emmett when you were human were you always a cheerful guy? Had a lot of strength?" I asked turning my attention to the huge vampire beside Rosalie.
"Yea," he basically bellowed proudly with a huge grin. I sighed fearing I would never get used to the sonic boom of his voice.
"Well when you changed those things were enhanced. Since you had nothing that could translate into a supernatural sense two of your strongest qualities became your gift," I told him. "But in vampires like Emmett their gifts are a little more abstract. I can only make him intensify or lessen his strength and the same with his lightheartedness," I told them.
"Well fuck me," Emmett said seemingly in awe just as Edward had been.
"Bella…," Carlisle began. "That is quite a gift you have. I've had my own theories about vampiric gifts as well. I had concluded something close to that. I knew that Edward, Jasper, and Alice must have some predisposition when they were human. I just never figured the same was for the rest of us," he said.
"We really all have gifts?" Rosalie asked.
I nodded my head, now feeling a little embarrassed because I knew what her next question would be.
"What's mine?" she asked confirming my thoughts.
"You're protectiveness and loyalty," I said and kept going down the line of Cullens. I hoped Rosalie or anyone wouldn't figure out that I had used my gifts to keep her close to me. I didn't know how she would take it and she was the only Cullen I felt comfortable with. I didn't want her to be angry with me. "Carlisle's gift is his control and his power, his authoritativeness rather. Esme is gifted with her compassion and tenderness," I said.
Carlisle smiled down at his mate lovingly and kissed the top of her head. So sweet. So strange.
"Is it really true that no vampire has the same gift then?" Edward asked.
"I haven't met every vampire but as far I can tell yes. Some people with more abstract gifts may have one alike but never the same combination," I answered.
I hoped this round of questioning would end soon. I wasn't comfortable talking so much about my gift. Nothing good ever came of it, I would really have to be on my toes now that they knew.
"Oh! I'd better get going," Carlisle sighed suddenly standing up from his chair after glancing at his watch.
"You're going to go to work?" Esme asked.
"I have a heart transplant at 7:00am. I need to be there," he replied. "It's probably best that you all go to school as well. I don't believe Bella needs a baby sitter," he continued, his eyes resting on Rosalie a beat longer than everyone else. She opened her mouth to reply but then closed it again. She nodded her head and Carlisle went off to get ready for work.
A part of me was excited to see how this coven operated. I wished I could tail every last one of them and observe their alien behavior. I had to use ever last bit of my strength not follow Carlisle up the stairs. He was back a second later though with a black leather medical bag. It reeked of chemicals and hospital smells. I wrinkled my nose at the stench and he smiled down at me.
"You get used to after a while," he remarked with a shrug.
"How long is a while?" I asked in disgust.
"About a century."
"I could believe it."
He smiled again before bidding everyone goodbye and kissing Esme…yet again. Shortly after he left the "kids" began to get ready for school. This time I did tail Rosalie and her enormous husband to their bedroom, only at Rosalie's beckoning though. Once we were inside her bedroom she went into her closet which was the almost the same size as the bedroom while Emmett went into the bathroom and began to shower.
"Esme will be here all day so you won't have to be all alone. Are you okay with that?" she asked me.
"Yea," I nodded. I wasn't in the least worried about Esme harming me.
"The room we were in earlier is basically yours now for as long as you're here. Alice has stocked the closet with clothes and all of them are yours if you want shower and change," she told me. I nodded my head but I was only half listening.
I was more so paying attention to her painting her nails, styling her hair and doing her make-up. She was putting a lot of care into making herself more beautiful than she already was. I watched as she changed her clothes and dressed in a tiny skirt and a fitted top that showcased her cleavage. She finally donned heels that made her almost as tall as her husband. I could never imagine myself dressing like that, not with so many males around. I began to admire Rosalie for her boldness.
Emmett came out of the bathroom fully dressed and sat, dropping himself unceremoniously, on the bed. He stared at me with curious eyes just long enough to make me want to leave the room and my skin crawl.
"So you can say you can make me stronger, huh?" he finally asked.
"Yes," I replied narrowing my eyes at him in suspicion.
"How strong?"
"Stronger than you or anyone needs to be," I replied reaching out and getting a taste of his capability again. "You could bench press a little over 350 ton at max."
A nearly smiled at the way his eyes widened threatening to pop right out of his head.
"Can we test that out?" he asked.
"What the hell are we going to find for you to lift that ways that much without raising suspicion!" Rosalie snapped at him. He pouted like a child scorned and shrugged his shoulders.
"I'm sure we could find something," he grumbled.
Edward appeared at the door shaking his head at Emmett. I glanced up at him and all his glory. He had changed into a pale grey t-shirt that was fitted just enough to hint at his muscular chest. His reddish brown hair was in beautiful disarray and I so desperately wanted to ran my fingers through it. I had to stay disciplined though, so I kept my hands to myself.
"I highly doubt it," Edward said before turning his gaze to me. He stretched his hand out to me. My first instinct was to not let him land his strike. His brows knit in confusion as I dodged what I now realized was a nonexistent attack.
"No one is going to hurt you, Bella," Rosalie said softly placing her hand on my shoulder. I glanced back at Edward's hand and saw that he was holding an iPod but it was different from the one I had listened to earlier.
"I just thought you'd want to keep listening while we were gone," he said. "This one is an older one of mine. It has about 1,000 songs on it," he told me.
I nodded my head and took it from his hand, "Thank you."
"No problem," he smiled. He turned to leave and Rosalie and Emmett followed after him. Soon the house was only occupied by Esme and I. I could hear her still in the living room drawing. I waited for her to say something to me and when she didn't I decided that a shower sounded like a good idea. I left Rosalie's bedroom and made my way up to Edward's. I knew that the clothes I was wearing were his. His scent were all over them and I wasn't ready to part with it yet. He smelled so fantastic and it had somewhat of a calming effect on me. Rosalie had just told Alice had bought me clothes but I was sure that they would all be super feminine clothes I would never even consider wearing. I wasn't even going to bother looking at them.
I went straight to Edward's closet and found a pair of khaki pants and white long sleeve button up shirt. I took them and went to shower in the adjoining bathroom of my bedroom. I showered for who knows how long. I couldn't remember the last time I'd just stood under a hot streaming shower. The shower head was square hanging from the ceiling so that the water fell straight down on me. It was like a waterfall or rain and I loved it dearly. When I finally got out of the shower, I dried off with a thick soft towel and grabbed Edward's clothes. I pressed them to my nose before putting them on, letting the magic of his fragrance settle me. I knew that I was already heading in dangerous territory with Edward but I just couldn't help myself.
I dressed in his clothes and decided to go outside with Esme. I'd spotted the garden in back of the house when Rosalie and I went for our run and knew that Esme had to be responsible for it. I didn't think Alice or Rosalie were the type to play in dirt. I walked out of the stark white house happy to finally see vibrant colors again. I spotted Esme instantly dressed in a pretty yellow sundress with a straw hat on and garden gloves. It was pathetic how dainty she looked, the stereotypical housewife. How could she live with herself?
Esme
Bella came out of the house after showering, wearing another outfit plucked from Edward's closet. I wondered why that was but didn't really want to ask her. I watched out of the corner of my eye as she watched me. I felt so sorry for the poor girl. Even though vampires had a never ending supply of energy, I couldn't imagine how much it took for her to be constantly taking a survey of her surroundings, who was around her, and trying to plot out all possible escape routes.
I knew what it was like to never feel safe and it was something that I would never wish on another person. I didn't know how long Bella planned to stay with us, because it seemed as if she was about to head for the hills at any moment, but I had decided it would be my mission to help her. I didn't know her past or just how severely it had affected her but I made a vow to myself to help her in any tiny way that I could.
"Hello dear," I said after giving her time to take in her surroundings.
"Hello," she replied in her small wispy voice.
"I love flowers. Always have, even when I was human I spent a lot time gardening," I told her.
"You remember your human life?" she asked me curiously. I glanced over at her and nodded my head with a smile.
"So much of it," I said. "Not many of the others do. Alice doesn't remember anything at all. Carlisle, Edward, Jasper, and Emmett remember very little. But Rosalie remembers just as I do," I continued. "What about you?"
She sighed heavily and took a step closer to me. "I remember everything and I wish I did not. I've never met another vampire who remembers like I do. I envy them," she told me her voice dropping in volume.
She already spoke so low and even with my enhanced hearing I now had to really pay attention to catch every word. I stopped weeding the dirt around my hydrangeas and looked at her. Her eyes were unfocused and distant as she stared at the flowers. Her sorrow was so clear in her eyes and whatever she was thinking of clearly haunted her.
"Is it your family that you miss?" I asked.
"I don't know. Family is…not healthy. The attachments, the need for it, can be very…debilitating. Another opportunity for a weakness to take hold. I should be grateful that I am free of that now," Bella said.
I couldn't decide if she was still talking to me or just thinking out loud but my heart broke at hearing her philosophy on family. Her outlook was so desolate. I wanted to take her in my arms, hold her tight, and tell her that she was safe with us. I wanted assure her that life didn't always have to be so bad, that things could and would get better she just had to be patient and not give up hope.
"Bella," I breathed. I moved to place my hand on her knee but she flinched away from me glaring as she did. I retracted my hand but kept talking. "I don't know what happened to you, but I do know that things will get better. Your luck could change at any moment. You have to keep faith and remember that no matter how dark the night gets the sun will shine again," I said.
An amused but cold smirk slowly spread across Bella's face. She tilted her head as she looked at me as if I was a ignorant child or a naïve teenager.
"Oh Esme," she sighed. "Happiness can only be compared to day and night in terms of it's fleetingness. I see it more like a fist full of water. So easy to slip away no matter how many times or how tight you think you've grasped it. I may not be happy like you think you are but I think it's a small price to pay not to ever feel the disappointment when I open my hand and find it empty."
