Chapter 4
Brandt shivered under the covers of the bed, twisting around yet again to find a warmer, more comfortable position. The safe house had an impressive view of the coast, but little heat in the upstairs rooms. He'd thought the sound of waves crashing along the shore would be soothing, but tonight it struck him as disturbed and violent.
He stretched out again, rubbing his hands over his face. He'd always been a light sleeper, accustomed to running on only a few hours of rest. The curtains were billowing as the wind picked up, sending another shiver through Brandt. He caught sight of a figure standing on the balcony, facing the waves.
Brandt quickly jumped out of bed. He reached for his gun when he took notice of the familiar blond hair and slender build. Now he grabbed his jacket and slowly pulled the glass door to the balcony open, stepping outside.
"Benji? What are you doing out here?"
Benji's arms rested against the edge of the balcony as he stared out to the sea. His wrist had been bandaged though it still pained Brandt to see it. "Couldn't sleep," the younger agent said after a long moment. Brandt noticed Benji quivering slightly as the wind blew.
"Come inside. It's freezing," Brandt said, touching Benji's shoulder.
"M'good." Benji whispered. His eyes seemed to glisten against the night sky.
Brandt shook his head. "No, you are not good. What's wrong, Benji?"
Another long moment passed. Benji continued to gaze at the waves as though he were looking for something. Brandt started to wonder if he'd even heard him.
Finally, Benji looked up, and Brandt could see shame in his eyes. "When I was up there, the man- Pendergast- he, he starting saying things. That I was useless. That you'd all just find someone else to replace me if I died."
"Benji, you know that's not true."
Benji shook his head and took a deep breath. "And then I couldn't hear you calling for me anymore. And then, when he heard Ethan saying 'Get the van' and that's when…he told me you were all leaving me."
"He was lying, Benji. You know that."
Benji shifted his gaze back to the sea. "No, that's the worst part."
"What?"
"I…I believed him." Benji closed his eyes and brought a hand up to wipe his face.
"Oh, Benji," Brandt whispered. He pulled Benji into his arms, resting his chin against the younger agent's temple. He heard Benji let out a sob against his chest. He now realized the full weight of what Benji had endured while in the attic, and a rage began to boil in his stomach at Pendergast, the man who had gleefully tormented him. "Benji, please don't let him get to you. We would never leave you. I would never leave you."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have doubted," Benji's voice wavered.
"Shh, it's okay. He lied to you. You're safe with us." Brandt rubbed his hands up and down Benji's back, noticing how cold the other man felt. He wondered how long he'd been out here. "Come on." He lead Benji away from the balcony and back into the house.
Once they were in Brandt's bedroom, they sat down on the edge of the bed. Brandt cupped Benji's face in his hand. As he looked into Benji's blue eyes, he thought back to when they'd first met in Moscow. Where Ethan and Jane initially seemed apprehensive, Benji had warmed up to him right away, at least after he'd stopped pointing a gun at him. At first, Brandt had found it hard to believe that this lighthearted, upbeat technician had managed to become an agent. Then, Benji saved his life- and the world- just a few days later in Mumbai. He'd felt guilty for doubting him. Now he couldn't imagine going on a mission without hearing Benji's incessant chatter as he showed off new gadgets, packed way too much gear, and kept everyone's spirits up.
"You have no idea how much you mean to this team. To me," Brandt murmured. "No matter what happens, I will never abandon you. I promise." Once the words came out, Brandt realized he himself had no idea how much Benji meant to him. He ran his thumb along Benji's jawline, and leaned forward. He wanted to kiss Benji's pain away, to make him understand how important he was to Brandt in a way that words couldn't express. He stopped right before his lips met Benji's forehead, unsure if he should go on. For a moment, the two nuzzled one another. Brandt noticed how Benji seemed to almost melt in his arms.
"Brandt?" Benji whispered.
"Yeah?"
"I…don't want to be alone tonight," Benji began. "If it's okay, I mean…" He looked so vulnerable that Brandt couldn't have said no even if he'd wanted to.
"Of course," Brandt replied, smiling. "You know, it's not often I get to spend the night with a hot blonde."
Benji laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled.
Brandt pulled back the covers as the two settled in side by side. Benji let out a content sigh as Brandt reached over and stroked the soft hair above his ear.
"Thanks, Brandt."
"Will."
Benji looked up at Brandt in confusion before another smile crept onto his lips. "Thanks, Will."
Later, Brandt listened as Benji softly babbled in his dreams. He leaned over and lightly brushed his lips against Benji's cheek. He realized he no longer felt the cold night before closing his eyes and falling asleep.
Pendergast gazed into the fireplace at the new headquarters, still clutching the discarded earpiece in one hand. His back ached from the fall and his head throbbed from the punch the team leader had thrown. He'd liked the old farm house, as it had served as a private space for him to work and think away from the followers. Now there was no returning, and the loss was disappointing.
Perhaps more regrettable was the demise of a number of followers. They had fought mightily, but Pendergast knew most of them lacked the strength, agility, and quick thinking that allowed for survival in combat. His numbers had taken a considerable hit. Not many had died in the initial conflict, but the injured, as he saw it, had outlived their purpose in his greater plans. It had only taken a few allegations of betrayal and undermining the cause to get the surviving followers to turn on the injured ones. Now his remaining members were cutting the losses. He could always replenish his manpower. Being so close to the completion of his test run meant he had other areas requiring his focus.
Still, the day hadn't been a total defeat. Pendergast smiled as he recalled his little visit from the Blue Jay. Pendergast usually utilized his skill by bringing people up, stroking their egos to bring them over to his side. But he reveled in an opportunity to tear another down, to exploit the insecurities he saw written all over every living soul. There was a profound pleasure to be found in smashing through the walls of self-confidence, seeing the change take place as he switched the light out of someone's eyes. The sense of power was intoxicating.
Exerting that power over the Blue Jay, however, provided an exquisite delight. From the moment he'd heard the two men enter the farm house, he'd detected a certain warmth between them, and even in the dark he could see the liveliness in the Blue Jay's eyes despite his obvious anxiety.
Pendergast ran his thumb along the earpiece as he recalled the way his captive had shuddered underneath his grip. He'd shaken that lively spirit, and even made the Blue Jay forget his backup was just a floor below. It was admittedly unfortunate that Pendergast had been standing behind him. It would have been quite nice to see the look in the Blue Jay's eyes as his faith shattered. Sadder still was being so rudely interrupted just as Pendergast was truly enjoying himself. To think what he could have accomplished with just a few more minutes alone with his captive. What he could do if given a second chance.
"Sir?" the voice of Liam, his new second in command since the loss of Stan Grey, sounded from the doorway. It had caught Pendergast off guard, though he didn't show it as he turned around. "We're done with the cleanup."
Pendergast smiled. "Ah, perfect work, Liam." He turned his gaze back to the earpiece. The test run, if successful, would be a critical moment in his life's work. It would be a shame to celebrate it without a guest of honor. "I have another little job for you and some of our best men." Shaking the lively spirit wasn't enough. He wanted to crush it.
After Liam turned and left, Pendergast turned back to the fireplace, smiling as he tossed the earpiece into the flames. He would clip the Blue Jay's wings, one way or another.
