The Ice Games-Interlude

The Ice Games-Interlude

"I think it was USSJ Vegeta fighting Super Cell, but everything was screwed up! Vegeta looked like a combination of some kind of tree creature with grey hair and a really gnarled face, and a centaur! It really didn't look like Vegeta at all! Super Cell looked different too, he looked like a combination of Super Cell and Perfect Cell, and he kept throwing bubbles! Well, these bubbles hit Vegeta, and he fell out of that really screwed up USSJ state my mind came up with. Then Super Cell grew to be fifteen feet tall and he turned into Perfect Cell, which looked like he normally did. So Vegeta went USSJ again, but this time he didn't turn into that screwed up tree centaur, this time he looked pretty much like himself, except he had their weird extentions of his hair growing out of his back that looked like wings made out of hair. And for some reason, he turned upside down to do this transformation! They started to fight again, but that this point I went on to another part of my dream, which I don't remember. What do you think?" Ash said, speaking with his representatives.

"Wow, that's one really screwed up dream. You have a strange mind, Ash." Goku said.

"Definitely." Krillian agreed.

"Very bizzare." Brolly chimed in. It turned out that the Legendary Super Saiya-jin was much friendlier after his psychotic desire to destroy Goku was removed, which was the first thing Ash had done.

"Well, what do you think, Chaozu?" Ash asked his main representative.

"BUCK BOCK BOCK! BOCK BUCK!" Chaozu squawked, sounding exactly like a chicken. Surprise filled everyone's eyes, especially Chaozu's.

"What the…"Ash began.

"ICE QUEEN IS THE GREATEST FANFIC WRITER IN THE UNIVERSE!" Chaozu suddenly yelled. That got everyone's attention, especially Ice Queen and her side. The female Transformer-jin smirked at this sudden outburst.

"Ok, Chaozu, what's going on?" Ash asked his main representative, not very happy at Chaozu's outburst.

"Bock buck buck bock!" Chaozu said, strugging his shoulders. He appeared to be as clueless as Ash.

"You can't talk?"

"Buck bock bock." Chaozu said, nodding,

"All you can do is cluck like a chicken?"

"Bock."

"Peachy. Now I wonder who the…"

"ICE QUEEN IS THE GREATEST FANFIC WRITER IN THE UNIVERSE!" Chaozu again yelled, before clamping his hands over his mouth. Over on her side, Ice Queen collasped in laughing, utterly tickled at the apparent betreyal of Ash's representative.

"Chaozu! Stop that! It won't help the…"

"ICE QUEEN IS THE GREATEST FANFIC WRITER IN THE UNIVERSE!"

Ash made a noise of realization and aggrivation, and looked at his representative.

"The." He said.

"ICE QUEEN IS THE GREATEST FANFIC WRITER IN THE UNIVERSE!"

"Yep, I was right. ICE QUEEN, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Ash yelled over to the opposite side.

"It wasn't me this time, I swear! But whoever it was, I love them already! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ice Queen yelled back, rolling on the ground in laughter.

"Another curse?" Tien asked.

"Apparently, and a mystery one at that. Apparently Chaozu can't speak at all but just squawk like a chicken, unless somebody says "the"…"

"ICE QUEEN IS THE GREATEST FANFIC WRITER IN THE UNIVERSE!"

"…Which leads to him uncontrollably yelling that. And since I don't who did this, I can't dispel the curse or direct it onto someone else like last time!" Ash said in annoyance as Chaozu again yelled the declaration he was cursed to yell every time he heard the word "the".

"Ok Chaozu. I want you to go fly off and find an isolated glen and stay there until you can speak normally again. Mystery curses don't last long."

"Buck buck." Chaozu squawked, and flew off.

"So what are we going to do now?" Krillian asked.

"I'm hungry." Goku whined. Then his eyes lit up as Ash waved his hand and a giant pile of food appeared, which he proceeded to dig into.

"Well, the kaioroke stage is nearly finished. We'll wait until it is, and then we'll test to see how well it works. Until then, we're going to wait. There are a few late entries who will be arriving soon, and while we wait for them I'm going to whip up a plan of revenge against Ice Queen's side. If some mystery person can slander me via that curse, I can slander her back just as easily! Now, let us wait, I have a list to compose." Ash said as he sat down and began writing on a sheet of paper.

Then an author fell in his lap.

"HI! AM I LATE!!??!?!?!?" VegetaMan yelled right in Ash's face. Ash reared back in surprise and fell off the rock he was sitting on, dumping VegetaMan onto the grass. The young author snickered at his sucessful freaking out of his senior as Ash got up.

"Yes you are. PERFECT CELL!" Ash yelled, and the ultimate creation of Dr. Gero walked over.

"Here's your author. Do something to occupy him, will you?" Ash grumbled. Perfect Cell opened his mouth to protest, but then Vegetaman hopped on his shoulders and began playing with his head extentions, and Perfect Cell suddenly found it might be a good idea if he did indeed do that.

"Was that the only one?" Brolly asked.

"No, there's a few more." Ash mumbled, trying to get back to his propoganda.

SSj Vegeta was sitting on her bed playing Tenchu 2.

"Come on you idiot. Turn around. Your death awaits, heh heh heh." She said as she stared intently at the screen. After there was one less guard for her to worry about, she paused and looked at her watch.

"Oh kuso! I'm late!" She turned off the playstation and ran up to the stairs to the computer room. She turned it on and started to type a few things. A picture of Chibi Vegeta came on her screen.

"What the…?" She said as she touched the screen.

Then she found herself dropping through the air like a lead pigeon.

"Well, this is interesting to say the least." She said as the wind blew through her hair and bandana as she continued to fall.

She thought hard for a second and a parachute opened up and carried her safely to the ground. She landed in front of Ash and the parchute disappeared. Ash looked up from his list.

"Ah. You're here at last."

"Sorry I'm late." She gave a bow and looked at Chibi Vegeta who was behind him.

"Who are you?" the pint-sized version of Vegeta asked.

"SSj Vegeta." She crossed her arms.

"You're a GIRL?"

"Is there a problem with that?" SSj Vegeta said crossly.

"Umm. Is that the author that picked me?" Chibi Vegeta asked Ash as he walked up to her.

"Yeah. Go play, or something." Ash said, fully absorbed in his list. SSj Vegeta shrugged.

"C'mon, my short friend. We have a song to plan out."

"I hate singing!"

"Too bad for you."

"That just leaves one." Ash muttered to himself.

"Damn! I'm late again!" yelled Galatea, as she pushed the gear stick into fifth, and sky rocketed into yet another dimension. The Magical Ford Fiesta (estate) moaned at the increase of speed, and attempted to stall again. Galatea was so busy with the car, that she forgot to watch the road.

"Shit!" she cried, "Not ANOTHER pedestrian..." She got out of the car, and went around to find none other than Yamcha on the bonnet of her car, stunned, but otherwise in good condition.

"Excuse me, but would you mind getting off my..."

Then, she had a brilliant idea.

"Yes! I needed someonefor the Ice Games, cause someone took Vegeta, but you'll do quite nicely!" Yamcha was still somewhat confused, so he nodded, and continued watching the little Magical Ford Fiesta (estates) flying around his head.

Galatea flipped him off the bonnet and into the Passenger seat, then revved up the engine.

"Oh! Just a minute! Seat belts everyone! A safe car is a happy car!" They buckled in, and Galatea put her foot down to make up for lost time. Six Interdimensional speeding tickets later, they finally arrived at the Ice Games.

"Hi y'all! Did I miss anything?"

There was no reply, as all the authors were too busy writing their songs and Ash was busy writing his list. Galatea frowned.

"HEY! I'm here! I have a really cool car! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" Galatea yelled in a whiny child's tone. Everyone continued to ignore her. Galatea "hmmppppphhhhhhed!" and yanked Yamcha out of her Magical Ford Fiesta (estate), planning to show them all.

"Ah, done." Ash said as he finished his list. He headed over to the kaioroke stage and held the paper up in front of it. With a gush of wind, it disappeared. Ash smirked.

"Perfect."

"Well, the arena is done and ready to go…what did you just do?' Krillian asked.

"I rigged it. When the first song is finished, hundreds of papers will float down with my revenge against Ice Queen. Let's see if she can play the game as well as I can."

"Well, she is an author."

"As am I. Now, the kaioroke machine must be tested."

"Lemme test it! I love to sing!" Krillian said. Ash looked over at Krillian in a vervous way as he recalled the beginning of Movie 8.

"Um, I don't know…"

"C'mon! I'll try my best!"

Ash sighed.

"Ok, but if you sing, you're going to sing this." Ash said as he waved a hand and a sheet of paper appeared in his hand. "It's a parody of Blink 182's "All The Small Things."

Krillian read the sheet and his eyes widened.

"Uh, maybe I changed my mind, I really can't sing very well…" Krillian said, trying to back away.

"No dice Krillian! You volenteered! Now get up there and sing!" Ash said, giving him a shove.

"Ok ok! But I'll need a few backup singers. Get me Goku, he likes to have fun, and…"

"WHAT!?!?!? I AM NOT SINGING WITH THAT NO-NOSED BAKA!" Vegeta yelled at Ash. Ash smirked.

"Sorry Vegeta, but each person is allowed to call on anyone they want as backup singers, excluding other authors. Krillian wanted you. So you sing. Don't forget what I can make you do if you continue to refuse."

"Hmpphhhh!" Vegeta snarled, looking very unhappy.

"However, if it makes you feel any better, the song you sing will have you making fun of Krilian." Ash said. Vegeta suddenly looked much happier with his assignment.

"People! Our first unofficial song, to test the equipment, will be sung by Krillian, Goku, and Vegeta! Hit it!" Ash said to the crowd gathered before the stage, and walked off.

*All the Small Things starts up. Krillian walks out holding a sheet. He looks a little embarassed, but he quickly gets over it and throws himself into the song.*

Krillian: I'm a "small thing"

Time should, height bring

I'll take one inch

Growing ain't a cinch!

Always, they stare

Ask how the weather is, down there!

Watching, waiting, I'm tired of their baiting.

Krillian, Goku, and Vegeta: Say it ain't so

Why didn't I grow?

Can't turn the lights off!

I should have grown!

Oh na na na na na na!

Na na na na na na na na!

Na na na na na na na na!

Na na na na na na na na!

Krillian: So short, once bald

At least that one's solved!

My wife says she loves for who I am.

But she can reach the ceiling fan!

All: Say it ain't so.

Why didn't I grow?

Can't turn the lights off!

I should have grown!

Oh na na na na na na!

Na na na na na na na na!

Na na na na na na na na!

Na na na na na na na na!

*By now the audience is howling with laughter, but with Krillian, and the fact that Vegeta is singing "Na na na na na na na". Goku looks like he's having a ball, and even Vegeta is getting into it.*

All: Oh say it ain't so, Why didn't I grow? I wanna be tall, everyone should know,

Just how I feel, being shorter then Steele, the fight will go on, but my height never will!

Oh say it ain't so, Why didn't I grow? I wanna be tall, everyone should know,

Just how I feel, being shorter then Steele, the fight will go on, but my height never will!

Height never will!

Height never will!

Height never…*guitar twang ends song. Applause. The three bow, then Vegeta gets off the stage as fast as he can heads back to Alias4life*

As Krillian got up from his bow, tons of paper began to drift down onto the stage and audience.

"Wha…oh, this must be Ash's propoganda." Krillian said, picking up a sheet and reading it. Everyone else was doing the same thing.

ICE QUEEN: EVIL INCARNATE

As you surf through the DBZ section of FF.Net, you may have noticed a tangible aura of fear coming from all the authors who write there. This evil is not anonymous. It does not come from within. This evil comes from the writer ICE QUEEN.

Ice Queen often neglects her writing duties so that she may commit murder.

Ice Queen, and not Mrs O'Leary's cow, started the Great Fire of Chicago.

Ice Queen, while at the same time pretending to be Goku's friend, was known to aid Freiza's plans in universal domination.

Ice Queen told George Lucas to include a peppy little character named "Jar Jar Binks" in his last film.

Ice Queen dislikes puppies, Abraham Lincoln, and your mother.

Ice Queen, on a related note, make Saiyanbrat step on a puppy.

Ice Queen often dresses as a man and puts on blackface and pretends to be Ernie Hudson, star of Ghostbusters.

Ice Queen's eyes are twice the size of normal ones, and have been known to emit death rays at small children.

Ice Queen is responsible for the surprising lack of support for the technically superior Beta VCR's.

Ice Queen is a member of the KKK, and when dressed as Ernie Hudson, the Black Panthers.

Ice Queen views the Welsh as gentically inferior.

Ice Queen frequently kills kittens and blames it on the poor.

Ice Queen frequently kills the poor and blames it on kittens.

Ice Queen uses bad alliteration.

Ice Queen, and not Napolean, lost the battle of Waterloo.

Ice Queen detonated over Hiroshima and Nagasaki in summer 1945, killing tens of thousands.

Ice Queen got off relatively easily at the Nuremburg trial.

Ice Queen played every role in SNL sketches from 93-96.

Ice Queen, while with Habitat for Humanity, secretly stole the nails out of each new home.

Ice Queen invented cancer.

Ice Queen invented the polio vaccine VACCINE.

Ice Queen gave thousands of Japanese children epileptic seizures during afternoon cartoons.

Ice Queen racked up 75 confirmed kills in Vietnam in the early 90's.

Ice Queen held the only extra set of keys to Sharon Tate's home.

Ice Queen "really liked" Biodome.

Ice Queen was dropped around the clock in Cambodia during the early 70's, devastating the countryside.

Ice Queen regularily inserts typos into everyone's sotries.

Ice Queen built the Berlin Wall.

Ice Queen proposed Stalin's 5-year "everyone starves to death" plan.

Ice Queen convinced the Polish army to invest heavily in horses in the 1920's.

Ice Queen frequently convinces ER stars and Dana Carvey to "pursue movie careers."

Ice Queen shot John Lennon.

Ice Queen did NOT shoot Yoko Ono.

Ice "Sell Sell Sell" Queen worked as a stock trader in 1929.

Ice Queen leaves porno sites in your history file.

Ice Queen refused to "checkty-check" herself, and consequently wrecked herself.

Ice Queen is not "all that", nor a bag of chips.

Ice Queen is little in middle, yet lacks much back.

Ice Queen wrote and performed every song credited to Limp Bizkit.

Ice Queen was banished to Nod after killing his brother.

Ice Queen was the Pharaoh's top advisor on Jewish affairs.

Ice Queen IS Keyser Sozke.

Ice Queen regularily transforms into a subatomic particle travelling faster then the speed of light, thus rendering previous atomic theories obsolete.

Ice Queen was Kate Moss and Calista Flockhart's dietician.

Ice Queen is "The Man" (and not in the good way either!)

Ice Queen has "999" tattooed upside-down on her butt.

Ice Queen sacked Rome.

Ice Queen is the reason we labour under the iron rule of those damn dirty apes.

Ice Queen wrote the pitifully unsuccessful Mambos 1 through 4.

Ice Queen sat on Krillian's shoulders for the first thirteen years of his life.

Ice Queen is not recommanded by five out of six doctors.

Ice Queen stole Christmas, and regularly torments all the Whos down in Whoville.

Ice Queen overflowed her banks and devastated the Sanguay region.

Ice Queen told JFK Jr that he was a "great pilot".

Ice Queen turned Smokey the Bear into the flaming leather daddy he is today.

Ice Queen convinced a young Chris Farley to 'always have seconds."

Ice Queen plans to surround the karioke stage with a labyrinth of traps, each more complex and fiendish then the last.

Ice Queen was chief mapmaker to the Chinese Revolution, and her terrible writing made a "Long March." out of what should have been "The Brisk Walk."

You know that glove that didn't fit OJ? Fits Ice Queen just fine.

And finally, Ice Queen gives me money out of her parent's saving account so I don't have to get a job and can spend all day writing lists like this!

Krillian stared at the finished list, then fell over laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of it.

"So the curse finally wore off?" As said, as he looked at the mess that was resulting from the list, mainly that everyone found it utterly hilarious because it was so far-fetched and overblown.

"Yep. What's so funny?" Chaozu asked. Ash handed him a copy of the list.

"MWA HA HA HA HA HA! Oh, she's not gonna be happy about this!" Chaozu laughed.

"Yeah, hopefully later she'll realize I was just joking. This IS all in fun. But when she firsts gets done reading it…which I estimate she will be in five…four…three…two…one…" Ash counted, looking at his watch.

Then Ice Queen's scream could be heard all over the DBZ World. A second later, all the lists burst into flame and vanished.

"ASH, I AM GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ice Queen's screamed

"Feel free to write your own propoganda, Ice CREAM, if you can. Because now…the real game begins. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!" Ash laughed, as he and Chaozu again did their Doctor Evil impression, complete with the pinkie finger on the corner of the mouth.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ok, that brings me to this. Could everyone who has not sent in their song parody yet please do so as soon as possible! If you utterly can't write a parody, just write you and your characters singing a normal song and try and make it funny by whatever way you can. So far, Ice Queen (who is gonna kill me when she sees this list), SSj Vegeta, Alexh35, Vegetaman, and Silver Galaxy have sent theirs in. That leaves Mike Steele, Nahognos, Chelsee, Emeralda, Just a Thought, Alias4life, Leia3000, and Galatea. So would these people please try and finish their songs and send them to me at ash_bloodfire2@hotmail.com. I'll give you another week, ten days at the most, and then I'll have to go on without you. So hurry up and send me those parodies! *flees from Ice Queen's wraith*