((HOLY CRAP I'M SORRY. Life's been really shitty lately. I know you don't care, though, so on wit da show))
'Sugoi... look at that building!' Jirou was staring in awe at the biggest thing he'd ever seen. "Yeah, there's a lot of buildings like that. Actually, that is a rather small building, some actually go up 70 floors!" Naruto explained. 'Bigger than this? Are you sure, aniki?' "I've seen some! Anyways, we've gotta find a blacksmith or something."
With that, Naruto listened for the telltale sounds of a blacksmith's: iron clanking, furnaces blasting, and men swearing loudly. Of course, the nearest one was still a mile away, but Naruto was rather quick on his feet.
"Good day, Mr Blacksmith. Might I borrow your molten metal?" Naruto queried. As he looked 16 the blacksmith narrowed his eyes but let Naruto in the back regardless. 'Okay, Kyuubi-sensei, what do I do next?' 'Oh for crying out loud, you have the worst memory I've ever heard of. These four seals, stick your hand in the metal. It'll form into your ideal weapon." 'And this won't burn me... how?' "Magic."
Naruto rolled his eyes, then charged up some demonic chakra and did the seals, giving his hands a sinister blue glow. As soon as the tip of his middle finger touched the metal, however, his entire arm, up to the elbow, was sucked into the metal. 'Err, is this normal?' "No, it's not. Well, let's see where it goes from here!", and go it did. When Naruto tried to pull his arm out it just got sucked back with increasing amounts of force, and about three minutes in the metal started penetrating into his skin, travelling along his bones to the spine and, for want of a better word, interfacing with his central nervous system. Suddenly, the metal stopped burning him and started floating, forming letters. "Please... put.. your.. other.. arm.. in.." Naruto read aloud, then, not wanting to anger something so intricately connected to his spine, complied. This time, however, it merely formed to a gauntlet covering his wrist and then stopped. The metal went from a cherry red to a disturbingly cold blue, and he was released. The blacksmith, who'd be overlooking, said "That was by far the strangest thing I've ever seen." Naruto grinned. "Well, I have an affinity for strange things. So since I gave you witness to such a spectacle, can I have the metal I used for free?"
The blacksmith grinned, then said no. Naruto was forced to pay using money not exactly his (remember where we got our maps? Naruto isn't exactly 'moral'.), then exited the smithy's. Thinking he should get familiar with the weapon before he had to use it in battle, he found his way to a clearing with nobody around for about a mile radius. He then lifted his arm and said "Weapon, GO!". Surprisingly, nothing happened. "Err... Weapon, ACTIVATE! Weapon, KILL THE TREE! Weapon--" 'Naruto, isn't it apparant that isn't going to work? From what little I know about penetrating weapons, which isn't much, they're used by sort of... pushing them out. Remember how it went into your spine?" Naruto was fairly uncertain about it working, but when he shifted his arm again he could feel a new muscle along his forearm. 'Now that's strange, when did I get a tattoo? ... and why is it spelling "JUST USE IT ALREADY" in a very violent manner?' He took in a deep breath, clenched his fist, and pushed the new muscle. In a few short seconds three unusual things happened: a six inch blade shot out of his upper wrist, the blade took some of his chakra and launched it out forcefully, and a tree 30 feet away was hit by a blast of heat and force so powerful it simply ceased to exist in this plane. Jirou, who was standing on a tree well behind Naruto, quite promptly requested Naruto not to pet him any time soon. Naruto noticed a new muscle in his left arm as well, so he pointed the left arm at another tree and pulled. Rather than anything explode-y happening, though, he was pulled into his mind. Well, I say his "mind", it was actually the gauntlet he found himself in. "Ummm... Hello?" Naruto said, quite unsure of himself. A voice began speaking from the walls: "You are well within your rights to be unsure of yourself, you're the first person in this universe to wield the' Here, the voice said something rather unpronouncable. 'It's not easy to say in your language, fine, but back in my plane- which you've rather impolitely bonded yourself to- we have an entire language like that, which by the way is going to be brought into your mind along with 16 millenia of information... NOW' Naruto's mind had a very queer sensation, akin to that of 3 civilization's worth of perfected knowledge shoved without his permission into his memory banks. His brain itself had to rewire itself to allow for all the pure data, which caused no small amount of harm to his body: glycerine, sodium, and oxygen levels dropped well beyond critical levels until the knowledge of how to synthesize them found their way into his brainstem. Back in the world Jirou was occupying, Naruto went from standing stock still with a bizarre look on his fact to collapsed on the floor, his eyes attempting to stare at the back of his skull from the inside, his nose releasing about 2 pints of blood, and his skin turning an unhealthy shade of purple, before everything stopped going bad and his body began restructuring itself to maximum efficiency. His muscles grew stronger without much enlargement, his skin adopted a 'perfect' colour and removed all hair, his face became the pure idea of handsomeness, his body no longer needed lungs or a stomach so removed them, as well as some rather large changes to his body structure, including a total of 15 tails. All of this having happened in the frame of about 20 seconds, Jirou was quite shocked. Back with Naruto's consciousness, his personality was having a fist fight with his rational, and obscenely overtaught, side for control of his body. 'Oh, so THAT'S what happens when you give a lower being a bit of intelligence. Neat.' Naruto's personality turned to glare at the wall, getting punched in the cheek for his efforts. It fell to the floor, did a backwards somersault to its feet, and leapt directly at the rational thought. 'Okay gentlemen, break it up. Thought, use your technique of merging on the dobe over there. Dobe, stop this kerfuffle at ONCE.' The voice was obviously quite used to getting its way, and Naruto's personality stood swiftly to attention. Rational thought had no emotion but got in a last punch to the gut before merging together to create SUPERNARUTO, Fighter of All That Is Dark. Actually, he just got a big head and no stomach for his troubles, but bah. "So why am I so smart now, exactly?" 'That'd be because of your penchant for shoving your hand in molten metal with very old magik-' "It's called chakra!" 'MAGIK. running through it. You SOMEHOW managed to luck across the exact smity's that was located at a crossing of worlds, which was in fact the nexus point to all worlds, with PRECISELY the right spell-' "Technique!" 'QUIT INTERRUPTING ME. To allow you access to the Qztlkvgji, which our most wise and powerful are wary of. It's generally the moronic 2000-year-olds who try to use one, being immature, but you and your puny mortal body somehow managed to survive the bonding.' "Hey, I'm half demon, is that why?" 'Demon? Oh, is that what the furry thing behind you is? I thought it was a cat or something.' Kyubi bristled at being called a 'cat', but wisely said nothing. "So there's no higher reason to me being given access to this incredible amount of power and immortality? I'm not meant to conquer this universe or anything?" 'My word, no. You can come to the Nexus worlds, though, with the Qztlkvgji you've got the same rank as one of our... Lieutenants, and can go more or less anywhere.' "Neat. So can I go now?" 'Sure. You know how to use your weapon at least, call on me if you need any help or anything.'
((A/N: This is where I give up on writer's block and sate thy appetites for my AMAZING PROSE. Or utter garbage, I barely check through my chapters for spelling and grammar before I send it on to FFnet.))
