Hey guys. Review and let me know how you like the music and what is happening! This story has followed a little darker of a path then I initially intended but I am really liking writing it so I am going to keep it flowing!

Side note, I was in the VA thunderstorms of death(quite literally) and my thoughts go out to anyone effected by it. I only lost power for a little over 2 days, but many people had major damage to homes and lost loved ones.

Stop Crying Your Heart Out: Chapter 4
Straitjacket Feeling - All-American Rejects

(Blaine)

Glee club on Monday was a relief. Sam hadn't made it into school though, but neither had Kurt which lifted all of the fear from my shoulders. I hadn't spoken to Sam since he left Saturday morning so I shot him a text to make sure he was ok.

"Yeah, I am fine. I'll talk to you later."

I was worried about not hearing from him until now, but quickly put it aside knowing he was at least ok.

It was now Thursday and Sam and I still hadn't spoken much outside the occasional text. I started to realize he was pulling away from me, but I have to try and be calm. Mercedes leaves soon and he is probably just trying to spend as much time with her as possible.

Mr. Shue's assignment for the week was to just work on our regional selections for next weeks competition. I only had a small part in Paradise By The Dashboard Light so after running through some of our basic choreography I sat down and flipped through some sheet music.

I have been looking for the perfect song to sum up how I have been feeling as of late but I cannot find anything that feels right when I sing it. I have feelings towards Kurt I want to express, and feelings towards Sam.

When I think of Sam, great tunes come into my head but none of them are appropriate to sing to my straight best friend. I have been looking for the perfect best friend song, but none are jumping out at me.

As for Kurt, I have been looking for the perfect "what went wrong" or "how dare you" song that expressed I didn't need him. Unfortunately there was still a thread, a tiny connector keeping my heart with him and that is what upset me the most.

Truthfully, being around Kurt was still strange. The thought of him moving on so quickly still hurt, but I could be in the same room with him now, although we haven't spoken to or looked at each other all week. I wouldn't know what to say and I don't think I am strong enough to speak my mind clearly right now.

That all changed today when he approached me while I was off in the corner with my sheet music.

"Blaine. I know you are really depressed because of what happened between us."

"What happened between us? You mean what you did to me?"

"Say whatever you will, Blaine, but just so you know it isn't ok to send Mercedes to do your dirty work for you. Next time you want to to fight to get me back, do it yourself. We have to sing together on this song so keep it professional."

He really knew how to push me over the edge. Fight to get him back? Is he delusional? I spoke with Mercedes the following day about what she said to him and me wanting him back definitely wasn't a part of that conversation. I was angry all of a sudden and instead of answering him I got up and moved to the piano. The perfect song for Kurt came right to my mind at that moment, and so did the confidence to stand up for myself and sever that last tie to this part of my life.

"Mr. Shue. Can we take a short break? I have something I have to say."

"Sure. Blaine has the floor, everyone!" The club moved up to the chairs and took their seats. Sam eyed me nervously and I had to look away. I was still upset he seemed to be ignoring me but that wasn't the point. I went back to Kurt's glaring eyes.

"I want to thank the people who have been here for me this past week. I never knew anyone cared about me that much here. That being said, this song speaks for itself." I sat at the piano and started to play as the band backed me up.

(Blaine)
Back me down from backing up

Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straitjacket feeling
so maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell, but
Today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be,
That face is staring holes in me again

I make sure Kurt knows this is for him. I am staring at him through most of the song. His anger is showing and burning hot.

Trust you is just one defense
With a list of others, you don't make sense
Beg me time and time again
to take you back now, but you can't win
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell, but
Today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me,
but today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

I finally take a look around. My friends are smiling. For the first time in a few days I see Sam's smile directed at me as I finish the song.

And when that memory slips away
There'll be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
and just the thought of you I fear
grip falls away

Yesterday was hell, but
Today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me,
but today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you.

My friends clap and a few of the others join in, but there are a select few focusing on Kurt and I have to ignore them. I thank everyone and go and take my seat back in the corner.

"Very nice Blaine. Now, back to work everyone. Nationals is in less than a week!" We all cheered and went back to work on our set.

"So, I am glad you stood up for yourself here again." That voice. I have only heard it a little bit this past week. I grinned at him. I was proud that I was getting over Kurt. And I took some satisfaction in how mad that made him.

"Thanks Sam." I leaned in closer to Sam. "Did you see Kurt's face?" We both chuckled and fist bumped. "Um, how are you? We haven't really talked since Saturday." This encounter is awkward and I can't figure out why. Sure, Blaine left in a hurry after spending the night on my bed, but I was sober enough to know nothing went wrong.

"I am good. Mercedes and I are doing well, trying to figure out if we want to try a long distance thing but for right now spending as much time together as possible. Sorry for not being around much though, man."

Something about the way he said that was strange but I couldn't figure out why so I dropped it and smiled back at him. It was good to talk to him again.

"Well I better get back to learning the dances. Let me know if you want help working on your vocals." With that, Sam walked away and I was left with a hole again. Should he know that he is the reason I am getting over the pain so easily?

I caught myself staring at him and sighed before finally going back to learning my part of Dashboard, which I unfortunately had to share with Kurt. Oh joy.

(Sam)

I was so proud of Blaine! He was getting over Kurt but I had to keep my distance. I was honestly confused about the thoughts I was having for him, but if he started to, or more to the point continues to feel something for me it would hurt him again and I couldn't do that to him.

After glee Mercedes and I went the Lima Bean for coffee. Truth is, I lied to Blaine. Mercedes and I weren't doing great. She could sense I wasn't in the relationship as much anymore and even though I was trying I couldn't keep up with charade forever.

Mercedes was not dumb and she proved it today while we were getting coffee. "I think Blaine is getting over Kurt because of you."

"I am glad I was able to help. We knew he could do it, right?"

"Yes, but that isn't what I mean. I think he has feelings for you."

"Yeah, I felt that too. It's why I have been spending time away from him this week. I don't want him getting the wrong idea..." As I said this my stomach knotted with the lie. I haven't deciphered my feelings but I have made my choice, and that is the beautiful woman sitting in front of me who makes me smile. All other things do not matter.

Staying away from Blaine has been the hardest thing I have done in a long time. I could see how pained he was that I was so busy with Mercedes. I'd see him in glee and all I wanted to do was make sure he was ok, but I have to keep the distance up.

"I love you, Sam." She took my hand and I looked down at our hands, fingers entwined, and I couldn't help but smile.

"I love you too." It wasn't a lie. I did love Mercedes. Was it fair to do this when I was so conflicted about Blaine, or will this just make my feelings for Blaine easier to ignore?

Two weeks later we were back from Chicago with a national trophy and everyone was in high spirits. I actually started to let Blaine leave my mind, and Mercedes and I were doing amazingly.

Blaine had found a strong bond with Mike and I was happy he was there for him. No one understood the real reason I was so distant, but everyone accepted it was because Mercedes and I wanted to make the most of our time together.

Mercedes performance of Disco Inferno on YouTube was becoming more and more popular by the minute, and the comments were always positive and encouraging. Mercedes was gaining confidence really quickly and my small part in this brought us really close.

We were almost inseparable now and it was by both our choice. Things were going well and I was happy.

We had just left glee after our celebratory meeting Monday afternoon when Mercedes phone rang with an important call. Apparently a record executive had contacted her mother and was going to be in Chicago and wanted to meet with her tomorrow.

We got home and had her packed up and ready to head up there this evening. Her mother was ready to go and they were out the door almost instantly. I was happy I would get to share the news with glee tomorrow, which Mercedes asked me to do.

At glee Tuesday I shared her amazing news and everyone was super excited for her. The national trophy had eased a lot of the tension within our group and it was good to see our love and support for each other coming back to normal.

"I am so happy for her Sam, she couldn't have done it without you." Blaine was next to me as we left for the day.

"Thanks man. I am really excited for her. I gotta get going. See you tomorrow!" Blaine tried to keep it hidden, but his eyes said it all. I was another person he cared about who abandoned him. When I made it to my car I called Mike.

"Hey man, are you alone?"

"Yeah, Tina just ran to the bathroom before we leave. What's up?"

"How is Blaine doing?"

"Not so good man. He says everything is fine but her never wants to come hang out with us or anything. He puts on a happy face here but I think he has decided to transfer back to Dalton after all."

"Oh." It was all I could say. A part of me thought it would be a good idea. But all coming flooding back at once, I didn't want him to go. As if Mercedes knew I needed her now my call waiting started to buzz. "Mike, Mercedes is on the other line, I'll talk to you later, ok?"

I hung up and picked up as Mercedes gushed about how well the meeting went. Nothing was set in stone yet, but they were promised to hear back in a few weeks. They decided to stay Chicago another night and celebrate and see the sights.

Late that night Sam was in bed when his phone rang.

"Blaine? It's 1 in the morning, what's going on?"

"Come outside, Sam."

I hung up and tip toed out of the house and Sam Blaine sitting on the curb a little ways away from the house. He immediately got up and met me out front.

"Blaine, what are you doing here?" Tears were in his eyes and he held a packet of papers.

"This is my Dalton paperwork. I am turning it in in the morning." He said nothing else as if he expected me to say something.

"Oh." A popular word with me today.

"I want you to know that I am really happy for you and Mercedes. You two are really happy, but where that should make me happy, it doesn't. I hurt every day. You haven't spoken to me in over 2 weeks!" He was raising his voice now and I pushed him out of sight of the house.

"I know, I'm sorry. We have been busy."

"Everyone here I have felt close with has abandoned me, and I cannot do this anymore. I think I am falling for you Sam, and I know you don't feel the same way. You can't! I am such a screw up and Mercedes loves you! Anyone can see that. I just wanted you to know that."

My brain was processing information at a rapid rate. Blaine can't leave. He is falling for me? My heart leapt in my chest. Blaine was inches from his car door before I snapped back to reality.

I wasn't thinking. I started to run up to him. "Blaine!"

He turned around, tears pouring down his face and they were my fault. I reached him and wiped his face. "Goodbye, Sam."

I grabbed his wrist as he went to open the car door and spun him back around to face me. The moonlight was coming through the trees onto us and I realized how beautiful Blaine really is.

I gently grabbed his face and kissed him. Electricity shot through my body, there is no better explanation. The kiss only lasted a few seconds but the flood gates were fully open now. Blaine was leaving, and I couldn't allow that.

I pulled away and he was shocked. I sat us down next to his car and for the next several minutes neither of us said anything. I just held him, yet this time I was the one crying.

"Blaine. I don't want you to leave. But..."

"Stop. I know. You really love Mercedes. I get it. You aren't gay Sam, I know that. I have always known that. I couldn't help how I felt about you though."

"It wasn't a bad kiss, ya know..."

We sat there for a little while longer before we had to part for the night. When I get to school in the morning I am excited to see Blaine. That, at the very least, means he didn't take his papers to Dalton this morning and that I have time to change his mind.

"Blaine! What are you doing tonight?" I chase him down the hallway and catch him as he is about to enter his class.

"Hey Sam. Nothing special. My parents have some dinner to go to and I have a paper to work on."

"Mind if I come over for a little bit?"

This was the start of our rekindling of our relationship. I hung out with Blaine AND Mercedes almost every day since that night outside our house.

I never let on to how much I was hanging out with Blaine to Mercedes. We hung out as a group more often now, but I was starting to head to Blaine's more than Mercedes' house.

One night at Blaine's everything changed. His parent's were out of town again and Mercedes was feeling a bit sick so she canceled on us last minute. Blaine was already making dinner before we found out so I thought it rude to not go and share it with him.

Truth was I was happy every time Mercedes wasn't able to hang out. It eased my guilt when I gave her the option and she said no. Nothing has happened with Blaine and I since that kiss at the car, but being affectionate with Mercedes wasn't having the same impact it always had on me.

"So, how are you and Mercedes? I'm sorry she wasn't feeling well and couldn't come tonight."

"We are ok. I am going to take her some soup later I think."

"Sounds good. I had rented a movie to watch tonight if you want to come back over when you are done at her house?"

"Sure!" I was done eating and ran by a local restaurant to pick up some soup and crackers and a few magazines for Mercedes to read while she was on bed rest.

I got to her house and she was sitting on the couch about to start a movie. "I brought you some soup and some gossip! Did you know that Kim Kardashian had ass implants!"

She laughed. A noise I loved. "Thanks so much Sam!"

She dug into the soup immediately and we talked for a bit. I kept wandering off in my mind towards Blaine though. He made a great dinner. I wonder what movie he got? Maybe I should pick up a desert before I head back over there?

"Do you want to stay and watch Hairspray with me? I can't really sleep and I've wanted to see this since we sang You Can't Stop The beat earlier this year in glee."

"Oh, no I'm sorry Mercedes. I am not really in the mood for a movie." I already was ok with lying to her?

"Ok, let's just talk then. Thanks again for the soup." She looked hurt and I felt bad.

"Actually I think I'm gonna go. I hope you feel better though. Call me if you need anything." I put her disappointment out of mind as I drove back to Blaine's.

"Welcome back! I just made some cookies, do you want some? Not home made though, I must admit. Just the frozen cookie dough."

"Definitely, thanks! So, what movie did you get?"

"I actually got two. I have Inception and Midnight in Paris."

"I've already seen Inception, let's watch the other one."

We settled in for the movie and started on opposite sides of the couch. Halfway through I was lying down with my head on a pillow on Blaine's leg. We chatted and joked around throughout the movie, which was actually quite good.

When the film ended, I do not know. I had fallen asleep at some point, but was awakened to a rustling around me. I started to drift back asleep almost immediately, but not before I felt Blaine put a blanket over me and whisper something towards me.

"Goodnight Sam. I think I love you."