Jagger and Trace's Awesome Adventures Ch. 4!
Trace was walking along, as usual, until he saw Jagger at the edge of the cliff. He grew wide eyed
"Holy crap! Jagger! Dang man I knew that thing with Rena was tough but do you really need to resort to scuicide?" Trace yelled.
"Who's Rena?" Jagger responded. "Anyways, I'm not comitting scuicide, I'm proving that gravity is just a myth created by the government! Just like global warming and science!" Jagger jumped off the cliff. "Whoo hooooooooooooo!" Trace peered off the edge of the cliff.
"Son of a-"
"Deleleleleewhoooop!" A random Kricketune walked by.
"What the- get out of here!" Trace said, shooing the bug pokemon away. Trace flew down the side of the cliff, swooping down and picking up Jagger just before he hit the ground. Jagger, not knowing that Trace saved him, yelled
"Haha! Take THAT government!" Trace shook his head.
"Man, Luna must be dying from all this loss of interaction with Jagger."
Luna was bored out of her mind, and was mindlessly staring at the ceiling.
"Man, I wonder what Trace is doing right now. Probably saving Jagger from jumping of a cliff because he was trying to prove that gravity is a myth. Yeah, that sounds about right." Just then Blaze ran in. Luna sighed.
"Blaze. What. Can. You. Possibly. Want. Now."
"Luna will you-"
"No."
"But-"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"You didn't even-"
"No." There was a long pause.
"Well..."
"YES!" Blaze did the happy dance and gave himself a PROOOOOMOTION.
"Ahem, It's rude to interrupt. Well you CAN get the hell out of my house." Blaze slowly and sadly walked out, only to get crushed by a giant sandwich. And then Blaze woke up. Damn, even in his dreams he gets rejected. The poor bastard.
Trace spotted Jagger about attack a Wobuffet. The Wobuffet was sporting an evil grin.
"FALCON..."
"No Jagger don't-"
"PAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWNNNNCC CCHHHHHHHH!" Jagger punched the Wobuffet with great force, making it bend backwards and almost touch the ground. Then, like a punching bag, the Wobuffet used Counter, and sprang up, knocking Jagger back a mile or two. Trace face palmed and sighed.
"Even a Stunfisk would know not to falcon punch a Wobuffet... And they don't even have arms..." Trace set off to find Jagger. A while later, Trace found Jagger lying against a tree, with Blaze drawing on him with a black marker.
"What the- Blaze! What are you doing?" Blaze looked up a Trace, then dropped the marker and ran away. Trace sighed.
"Damn it Blaze!" Jagger had a mustache and a monocle drawn on him, along with words on the side of his face that said "durr i um stoopid"
"How the hell am I gonna get this off?.." Trace said as he buried his face in his hands. Just then a Ninetales walked up to him.
"Hey Trace, watcha dooooin?" She asked.
"Oh, hey Ash Ketchum." Trace responded as he smiled.
"Come on Trace! You know I don't like it when you call me that!"
"Heheh. Sorry Ashley, sometimes I just can't resist."
"You can still call me Ash, just without the Ketchum..."
"I know Ash... Ketchum!"
"Trace!" Then Ashley noticed Jagger. "Uhh... What happened to him?" Trace sighed and told her the story of the Rare Candy. Ashley face palm- er... Pawed, and said.
"Oh Arceus... Nothing good can come of this..."
" Thank you for explaining that to us Captain Obvious."
"Trace, to be honest, you can really annoy me sometimes..."
"Why thank you, I try my best." Ashley rolled her eyes.
"So what do we do about Jagger?"
"I don't know really..."
"Can we just leave him here?"
"Ehhhh... I don't know... Who knows what kind of trouble he could get into if we leave him alone..."
"Come on Trace! Besides, we've barely had any time together..."
"I'm still not sure..."
"Pleeeeaaasseeee?" Ashley made puppy eyes.
"Well, I have been working my tail off lately... Sure, just this once.
"Yay! Thank you!" Ashley hugged Trace and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Besides, what's the worst that could could happen to him?"
"Well he could-"
"That was a rhetorical question..."
"I know!" Ashley smiled and Trace rolled his eyes.
Jagger shakily walked in with shadows under his eyes, and stumbling and tripping over himself constantly... What? Is that not enough for you? Okay then. He looked like he was drunk. Sheesh, what else do you people want from me?
"LOis, i'M bAcK FrOM tHe ClAm." Jagger slurred before falling to the ground, unconscious. Trace face palmed.
"Oh Arceus... Blaze must have given him one of those confusion inducing berries... When will he ever learn not to take things from that stupid ape?" Jagger suddenly regained consciousness and gasped.
"Terrorists!? Where!?" He yelled. Trace grew wide eyed as he noticed a peculiar white substance all over Jagger's face.
"Uhh... Jagger did you?.."
"Get rid of the graffiti that Blaze drew all over my face with white-out? Yes." Trace sighed in relief.
"Thank Arceus, for a moment I thought that you-"
"Sold my child pornography for weapons and drug money? I did that too." Just then, Magnezone burst in. and paralyzed Jagger with a Thunderbolt.
"Aha! A confession!" Magnezone said triumphantly.
"Nooo! I'm too pretty to go to jail! Trace do something!" Jagger yelled. Trace sat back in his chair, put on a pair of reading glasses, put a brown jacket on, put a pipe in his mouth and began reading a newspaper.
"You kids play nice now." He said in a dad voice.
"Dammit Trace! Save me you son of a-" Magnezone took Jagger by the neck between one of his magnets, and floated off with him.
