Chp 4: Hogwarts Express Part 2

Harry chuckled as Hermione left the compartment. Turning, he looked up at his owl and smiled at the beautiful white bird. "Think she'll realize why she wanted me to kiss her again?" he asked the snow owl.

"Prek," replied Hedwig as she shook her head at him.

"Yea you're probably right."

The glare she gave him clearly stated that of course she was right and how dare he insinuate otherwise.

"Whoa!" a voice cried from the door.

Turning around, Harry found a red haired boy a little older than him standing in the door staring at Hedwig.

"George! Get your arse over here and have a look at this owl!" he called.

A moment later another boy, completely identical to the other showed up. "Bloody hell! She's channelling mum!"

"That's just scary."

Hedwig preened at the attention, entirely pleased with herself and satisfied that these silly humans understood her greatness.

"Great, you've just gone and inflated her already massive ego. Oh the joy of having an egotistical, insanely intelligent, bacon addicted owl," Harry quipped.

Hedwig whipped around staring at him intently.

"Lemme guess. I mentioned it so you need to get your bacon or I get bit?"

She hopped closer to him, somehow managing to look incredibly menacing.

Menacing as she may have seemed to Fred and George, Harry just rolled his eyes and gave her a piece of bacon. "Bacon Addict," he muttered.

"Is she just a regular post owl or some special breed?" George asked, or was if Fred?

"To my knowledge? Just a normal owl. To be honest though, she's abnormal as hell in every other way," Harry shrugged not really caring which twin it was.

For a moment Hedwig looked incensed, hopping up onto Harry's shoulder and taking a vicious nip at his ear.

"Well, she's wicked, wouldn't you say George?" Ok so it was Fred.

"She is indeed, brother mine," the other twin agreed. "A bit violent though."

"Definitely violent," Harry muttered glaring at his owl who glared right back.

"Who's violent?" Hermione asked as she came back from the loo.

"Hedwig here," Harry responded pointing at his owl.

"Well, she's much cuter than the other owls I've seen," Hermione admitted.

Hedwig puffed herself up again, giving Harry a smug look.

"Gah, not again! Why does everyone feed my owl's ego!"

"Because it's true?" Hermione tried.

Hedwig suddenly started making a gagging noise that worried the children until they realized that she was laughing.

"Yea, but she takes it to extremes. I swear she'd attack another bird if I ever tried to send out mail with them," Harry muttered.

Suddenly, Hedwig stopped laughing and gave him a very dangerous look.

"See what I mean?" Harry said.

"I don't know Harry," Hermione giggled, "I think she might just take the letter then bite you."

Hedwig bobbed her head.

"After killing the owl I gave it to before her," Harry added.

Hedwig started releasing a high pitched nose as she refused to meet their gazes.

"Mate... is your owl whistling Dixie?" one of the twins asked.

"I think she might be... Where the bloody hell did she learn that?" Harry questioned stunned at his owl.

"Best-" Fred started, or was it George?

"Owl-" George (Fred?) continued.

"Ever!" they finished together.

"...You're those kinds of twins aren't you," Hermione mused, inspecting the two red heads.

"They are," Harry confirmed with an amused look back on his face.

"I'm... not sure how to feel about this," Hermione decided.

"Torn between laughing at them, or ripping their heads off? Yea, I'd wager they make a lot of people feel that way, on purpose too," Harry remarked.

"Well, I can see where-Hedwig was it?-gets her violent tendencies from," George mused. "Wouldn't you agree George?" Damn so it was Fred.

"Why yes George, I would," George agre-wait, what? Stupid twins confusing the author and causing rips in the fourth wall.

"I never said that I want to rip your heads off, you amuse me far too much for that," Harry replied with a grin while making the mental note to make sure they were telling him the truth and plant a tracker on them both so he could identify them.

"But you did-"

"Think of it," the twins pointed out.

"Only in the capacity that a person thinks about how someone may want to murder the minister. Doesn't mean they want to do it themselves now does it?" Harry retorted.

"Harry, be nice," Hermione ordered.

"Yes Harry be-wait a tic! Harry? As in Potter? The Boy-Who-Lived? The one that's been missing for years? That Harry?" George (I think) asked, getting very excited.

"Nope. I'm Harry Plopper," Harry replied cheekily. "Of course I'm Harry Potter you dolt! How many other Harry's with black hair, green eyes, and enough sarcasm bottled up to sink the Titanic do you think there are?" he sarcastically replied with a grin signifying he really was only messing with them.

"At least two," Fred answered without missing a beat.

"Oh met my own evil twin have you? Yea, he's like that," Harry quipped back.

"Interesting bloke though," George said.

"Oh definitely, odd how he decides he has to kill me just because I'm the good twin though," Harry mused continuing to play along.

"Indeed, that's why we both agreed to be bad twins," Fred explained.

"Ah, damn. Why didn't we think of that? Oh yea, the whole one of us must be the good twin because of the Dark Lord thing..." Harry trailed off.

"Why not just be the next Dark Lords and kill off the competition?" Hermione asked innocently.

"That's what he wants to do when I get done with the current one. He's decided that twins battling each other would be so much more of an epic storyline than Moldyshorts ever could be." Harry replied with a shrug as if his evil twin couldn't be helped.

"Mate, you are either fearless-" George deadpaned.

"Or completely mental," Fred added.

"We salute you!" they finished together.

"Thank you my good men," Harry saluted back.

"Boy's are weird," Hermione muttered, finding her seat and pulling out one of her books.

Hedwig hooted in agreement.

Harry and the twins shared a look before the three of them responded in unison, "And girls have cooties!"

"I do not have head lice!" Hermione cried indignantly.

An awkward silence filled the compartment. "Erm... We never said you did," one of the twins responded after a long pause.

"Cooties is another word for head lice," Hermione pointed out.

"Right... Yea we weren't talking about those," Harry said slowly.

"Oh," Hermione responded blushing in embarrassment.

"Anyway, which twin is which for sure?" Harry asked trying to know so he could mark the twins so he knew.

"Well, I'm Gred, and this is my lesser half Forge," one of the twins explained.

"... Real names please?" Harry questioned again. Couldn't label them like that, they'd get confused too easily.

"Curses, foiled again!" one of the twins cried dramatically.

"Stop being such a drama queen Fred," his brother told him.

"Wait, I thought I was George."

"No, you're Fred, I'm George."

"Are you sure you aren't Fred."

"Not entirely."

"We're not going to get a straight answer out of you... are we," Hermione muttered.

"Nope!" the twins chirped happily.

Harry grinned and marked the one who had called the other as Fred. The twin had lied when he called the other Fred which would make himself Fred. "I win," he snickered.

"Well in that case, you," she said, pointing to Fred, "are Thing 1, and you," she continued, now pointing to George, "are Thing 2."

"Ah, but if you can't tell us apart how can you know which one of us is supposed to be Thing 1 or Thing 2?" George questioned.

"Oh, I already have a plan for that," Hermione told him a little too sweetly.

"And I already can tell you apart," Harry quipped.

"Balls to that!" George cried.

"Our own mother can't tell us apart!" Fred agreed.

"But I can. She's just never gotten clever about it," Harry replied with his signature cheeky grin.

"What are you on about?" Fred asked. Clever about it? What could he have done?

"Nothing Fredrick my boy, nothing at all," Harry smarmed. It would be immensely amusing to keep them guessing for a while, at least until he knew they were the type to keep his abilities a secret... until they were ready to be let out anyway.

"How did you..." Fred wondered.

"That's for me to know, and you to agonize over while you try to figure it out," Harry teased. "I'm not telling you, not anytime soon anyway," he added.

"Did he just challenge us?" George asked turning to his brother.

"I do believe he did brother mine," Fred answered.

Harry just grinned at them. Even they wouldn't be able to figure out the cause for it when he was the first and only of his kind.

"Harry, you're not playing fair," Hermione chided as the twins left with a solemn vow of thwarting Harry and his evil plot to unravel their Confusing Twins Routine.

"Meh, I'll tell them eventually once I get to know them better. I just know you won't tell anyone. Can't explain it," Harry shrugged in reply.

A few moments of companionable silence later and a sad almost haunted face appeared in the doorway. Draco Malfoy, or Black as he now was since his mother had been absorbed back into the Black Family, opened the door and saw Harry. "So it's true. My mother said you might be on the train despite your disappearance..." Draco offered as explanation.

"Um, not to be rude, but who are you?" Hermione asked, getting an unpleasant vibe from the boy.

"Malfoy, Draco Malfoy," he responded, managing a sort of tired grace, "And you are?"

"Hermione Granger," she answered.

"Granger..." Draco repeated softly, his eyes narrowing almost imperceptively.

"What of it?" Hermione questioned her eyebrow raising in annoyance just from the way he said her name.

"Nothing, I just have never heard the name before," Draco deflected.

'In other words, she's not from a pureblood line,' Harry translated, it seemed Draco had retained more of his father than he had hoped.

"So, where have you been?" Draco inquired, turning back to Harry.

"Around," Harry dodged. He too had heard Draco's tone and didn't like it. "Have you gotten to meet your new Lord of House yet?" Harry asked trying to change the subject.

For a moment Draco said nothing as he stared at Harry. "No, as of yet I have not," he said, his tone slow and deliberate before turning to leave, "A good day to you both, I'm sure we'll be seeing a great deal of each other."

"That was... unsettling," Hermione decided.

"Indeed it was Mio," Harry responded tossing out another nickname. "I think it would be best if he never found out about my abilities or my lordship, at least, not yet."

"Did you just call me Mio?" Hermione asked, not at all impressed.

"Why yes, yes I did," Harry grinned. This would be fun.

With that, the train pulled into Hogsmeade and it was time to disembark.