Chapter four : Truths, dreams and disappointment.

Elrond was staring out at the garden, he had a half written letter in front of him and he was contemplating the way it ought to be written. He had no idea of how to continue and sighed and put his quill down. Two guards had been killed in a small battle against some orcs and he had to inform their families of their deaths. It was his duty as the leader and one he hated above all else. Both had been young and inexperienced and they had attacked an enemy way too strong for them, luckily they were the only casualties but two were two too many.

He bit his lower lip, felt sad and blue and more than that, worried. He missed Mariliel, her strange ways had always managed to get his mood back onto its right track and he just hoped that she enjoyed her stay in Mirkwood. But there was a nagging fear eating at his mind all the time, he had told the king some small white lies regarding her skills, and he regretted it now. He just wanted her to be happy, and if he had told the king the truth, that he hadn't allowed her any sort of training he was afraid the king would have chosen someone else. Mariliel needed someone special in her life, someone to act like an anchor when she got too caught up with her ideas and mood swings.

He smiled fondly thinking of her and stared at the parchment, damn this, he could continue later on, he wasn't in the mood to explain how the two young warriors, barely come of age, had lain down their lives in brave defense of their realm. He was about to get up and leave when there was a knock at the door and Erestor entered. His tall slender frame made him look almost fragile but Elrond knew that Erestor was rather robust, they had fought together during the last alliance and Erestor was fierce if he needed to be. " My lord, we have visitors"

Elrond cocked his head, frowned. " Visitors? Who?"

Erestor smiled. " Gildor and his men, so tonight I bet there will be a lot of partying, laughter and tall tales told."

Elrond suddenly felt excited, Gildor Inglorion and his group of travelling elves always brought with them news and exiting stories and all sorts of entertainment and since autumn had come it was clear that they would stay for the winter. He smiled. " That is wonderful Erestor, I trust that you have informed the servants and the kitchen and everybody?"

Erestor nodded. " Yes my lord, they will be ready. There is one ellon though, who wants to talk with you."

Elrond cocked his head, feeling a bit confused. " Oh? Who may I ask?"

Erestor sat down, his deep dark robes glittered in the sunlight, he was very fond of dark robes with strands of silver or gold thread woven into the pattern. " He says his name is Alwed, he has been living with Cirdan's folks for almost a millennia. But he is related to Mariliel."

Elrond jerked, as if he had gotten stung by something. " Really?! Send him over, I wish to meet him"

Erestor nodded and left, Elrond swallowed hard. A relative of Mariliel? Who could that be? She had been the sole survivor of that massacre and they hadn't managed to find any of her kin anywhere. It didn't last long before there was a soft knock on the door and Elrond shouted enter, a bit louder than he had planned for. The door opened and a rather short ellon entered, he wore rather worn out clothes and he was dirty but he had a sort of dignity about him that told Elrond he was an elf with both wisdom and influence.

" I am Elrond, lord of this valley. I am very pleased to meet you, Alwed was it?"

The ellon nodded and Elrond saw a rather nasty scar across his face just underneath his left eye, there were several more on his neck and he looked ragged and tough. " Indeed it is, allow me to introduce myself, I am the brother of Astor."

Elrond blinked, the brother of Mariliel's father? That was shocking news, he had never heard that Astor had a brother but then again, he hadn't had that much contact with that village before it was attacked. " I see, pardon me but I haven't heard about you?"

Alwed sighed and sat down, he looked tired. " No wonder, my brother and I never saw eye to eye, it is a long story involving an elleth so it is in the past but he never forgave me. We drifted apart and I chose to become a ship builder, have lived by the coast ever since. But I heard that my brother was dead and I hitched along with Gildor and his group when they came by this spring."

Elrond swallowed. " I am sorry for your loss Alwed, your brother was a fine ellon."

Alwed sighed and stretched his legs, he was thin and his eyes a bit dull. " Aye, that he was, a good ellon and a good husband too. I miss him a lot. They told me his daughter lives here?"

Elrond smiled. " Yes, Mariliel, she is our joy and a major headache at the same time, very feisty young thing. Right now she is in Mirkwood, helping me with an inventory of a huge old library. She loves books you see."

Alwed nodded. " She must have that from her mother then, Astor didn't like reading, he didn't need to. He thought that it was a waste of time. Tell me more of her, I haven't met her, I was gone long before she was born and I haven't had the opportunity to travel until now."

Elrond looked at the ellon and saw the deep grief in his eyes. " Why not if I may ask?"

Alwed sighed. " My wife got injured just two years before Astor's village was attacked, it was a shark. She was out swimming and it took a huge chunk out of her hip and thigh. She survived but got bedridden ever since and I couldn't leave her behind. Last winter I finally managed to get her onto a ship heading west, she had refused like mad but her resistance waned at last."

Elrond swallowed. " That is terrible, it must have been very hard on you?"

Alwed nodded. " It was, but she will heal whence she has settled down in Aman, I will follow her as soon as I can but I wanted to know more of my brother and his family first."

Elrond stood up, found a couple of goblets and poured some rich red wine into them. " Here, you look as if you need it."

Alwed thanked and tossed the wine back, he was obviously used to less heady stuff for he turned slightly red and coughed but managed to stay relatively calm. " My niece was a headache you said?"

Elrond nodded, and smiled too, a wide and soft smile. " Yes, she is head strong and stubborn and has some insane mood swings but we all love our red headed little fireball."

Alwed sighed and closed his eyes. " Red head, that is unusual, it was inherited then."

Elrond tilted his head. " Inherited? I do not understand?"

Alwed put his goblet down with a bang. " It is something nobody spoke off, but I knew my law sister pretty well, she confided in me and told me things about her family she didn't want anyone else to know. Her great grandmother was red headed, and not without reason."

Elrond looked at the ellon, he was slowly getting a very weird suspicion. " Uh, do explain?"

Alwed sighed and stared down at the floor. " The father of that elleth was a noldo lord Elrond, and not just any noldo, one of the cursed ones. A son of Fëanor."

Elrond gasped. " What? Is that true? But…"

Alwed sent him a swift smile. " I know, it is hard to believe but it is the truth. Mariliel's great grandmother was the daughter of one of the twins, she was base born, a bastard. Her mother fled east and joined the wood elves near the misty mountains and the rest is history I suppose."

Elrond felt dizzy, so Mariliel was a very distant relation of his foster fathers? That was quite a shock. " Oh Eru, that explains her fiery temper I guess."

Alwed nodded. " It is a family trait, Indriel was dark of hair and at times even darker of mind, she could explode but she was fiercely protective of her little one."

Elrond tried to smile but he still felt shocked. He had thought that Mariliel was just an ordinary elf, with some noldorin blood, not a distant descendant of the finwions. Darn, they were in fact related! " I can understand that, any mother would do that."

Alwed crossed his legs, leaned back. " The reason I wanted to talk with you was that I got a letter from Indriel just a few months prior to the attack. Mariliel had started to act very strange and they didn't understand. She wanted to ask Cirdan if there was any room available on the next ship to set sail."

Elrond leaned forward. " What? What do you mean acting strange?"

Alwed sighed and made a grimace. " She was gone for two days, they were looking for her everywhere and they feared that the child was taken by orcs. But she was found near the village, apparently unharmed but very scared and unable to remember anything. And from that day on she was scared of the dark, scared of strangers, scared of almost everything."

Elrond got a sinking feeling in his gut. She had acted thus also after they found her but he had assumed that it was a result of the attack, had she witnessed something terrible before the massacre? Something he had failed to see? "Did you law sister say anything more?"

Alwed stared at his boots. " Only that she had seen faint bruises on the child, as if someone had tied her up. And she had terrible nightmares, screaming about somebody who wanted to kill them all, and a stranger with kind eyes and an ugly man. They never managed to get anything more out of her."

Elrond blinked, he felt like a fool, like an utter moron who had failed to notice that the child had problems that were much deeper than he had thought they were. " Tell me, did anyone else know of this, were there anyone in that village or kin perhaps of the villagers who may remember it?"

He knew that some villagers had left for the safety of a bigger settlements just a couple of weeks before the attack. Alwed tilted his head. " Indriel wrote that the village healer had checked the kid, she didn't live there but in the village near the river. I think her name was Ereliel or something like that?"

Elrond let out a sigh of relief. That elleth was still alive, she worked as a midwife in the village and he hadn't met her but everybody said she was very skilled and very dedicated to her work. " Oh yes, she is still around. I think I will send for her, maybe she can tell me more. This needs to be looked into."

Alwed smiled. " But she is doing alright now isn't she? Being a scholar and all?"

Elrond nodded. " Yes, she is very clever. Well, I sent her to Mirkwood as a part of a plan actually, the king wants to find a wife for his son and she would be a good candidate."

Alwed just gaped. " Are you serious? My niece the prince's wife? That would be the day…"

Elrond looked a bit sheepish. " Now, we don't know if they like each other yet, it has to be a secret you see. Thranduil believes in using reversed psychology when dealing with his son."

Alwed laughed and had to gasp for air a few times. " A clever father indeed, forbidden fruit is always the tastiest one. But they ought to match yes? If she is such a fiery one, I have heard that the prince is a warrior. He will like a feisty elleth for sure."

Elrond made a sheepish grin. " Oh, I think so but I told Thranduil some tiny lies about her, I said she was a good fighter with both bow and sword and that is not so. But if I had said otherwise he would have chosen someone else, at least that is what I fear."

Alwed frowned. "She isn't skilled?"

Elrond shook his head vigorously. " Heck no, I have never allowed her to train, she has less self control than an exploding volcano, I didn't want to risk the lives of my trainers."

Alwed snickered. " That sounds like Indriel's daughter yes, but my law sister was a champion with her bow, and with blades? Oh Eru, she was like a swirling wind of death."

Elrond got a rather unpleasant mental image of Mariliel trying to fight with twin knives in the style of the silvan warriors. It could get ugly, very ugly. " Well, I trust that they will teach her everything she needs to know, the silvan elves are tough, they ought to be able to deal with someone like her."

He crossed his fingers and Alwed just snickered once more. " Not as tough as she is, that I am sure of. If she is anything like her mother the ellyn will stand in line for a kiss but receive a boot to their groin instead. I have no idea why she chose my brother but I suppose he was the one ellon who didn't try to flirt and that pissed her off so much she didn't want to let him get away with it."

Elrond laughed. "Then I do for sure know where her stubborn streak comes from, now, let us go to the great hall for some food, there will be a feast there tonight. I will send for that midwife, I am eager to hear if she has something more to tell me."

Alwed got up and bowed. " And I thank you for your time my lord, I know it is precious to you."

Elrond patted Alwed on the back. " Not as precious as family Alwed, I thank you whole heartedly for the information you have brought me"

Alwed just bowed his head and Elrond almost dragged him along to the great hall. His mood had gotten a lot better but his worries had grown deeper and stronger than before. What had happened to Mariliel back so many years ago?

Mariliel had barely left the library at all since her encounter with the prince, she had left only to eat and to sleep and Aeniel had gotten worried about her. There was some sort of desperation within her eyes that made the healers instincts kick to life. Mariliel immersed herself in work and Aeniel had a suspicion that it was all because of something she preferred not to think about. Aeniel had encountered such ideas before, but swiping the dirt underneath the carpet didn't make it go away, it just became less visible and would re-emerge and often at very inappropriate times. There had to be a way to reach that elleth and make her tell Aeniel what it was that was troubling her.

Mariliel did show up for her first training session with Halaron, she had gotten some clothes from Aeniel and was proud of the fact that she now wore leggings and a tunic instead of a huge heavy dress. Halaron was a typical silvan, his hair a soft brown color and his eyes hazel, he wore the typical guard uniform and he was younger than Mariliel had anticipated, or at least, he appeared to be rather young. He was waiting at the practice area with some bows and several quivers and Mariliel felt that her enthusiasm returned. This was going to be great, she would finally learn how to defend herself properly.

Halaron had his doubts, he stared at the tall redhead with narrow eyes and he just knew that she would be trouble. The way she moved told him she had no previous training and she appeared to be painfully naïve too. At least when it came to this sort of training. She bowed her head and Halaron introduced himself, at least she showed him respect and he liked that. Mariliel had never thought that there was that much she had to think about, Halaron told her how to stand, how to straighten her back, how to watch out for the wind and everything and she hadn't even touched the bow yet.

This would not be done in a few days, that was for bloody certain and she tried to pay attention to his continuous attempts at teaching her the basics. Then he picked up a bow used by the elflings when they first were learning archery, it was not very long, very light and you didn't have to be very strong to be able to pull it. He showed her how to grasp it and where to put her hands and then Mariliel got a blunt headed arrow and tried to shoot.

The result was spectacular, Halaron hadn't believed that it was possible to fire an arrow backwards before and she hit her own arm with the string and cursed so bad he was afraid the roof of the nearby hut where they kept their training equipment would catch fire! " I told you young lady, you need to bend your wrist a bit, and let the arrow rest against your hand, do not try to hang on to it."

She pouted. " I tried!"

Halaron scoffed. " Try to pull the bow once more, without an arrow, let me see how far you can get the string."

She tried and her hands and arms started shaking violently almost immediately. It was way harder than she had thought it could be and she felt ashamed of herself. She had all of her strength in her legs since she was riding that much. Halaron shook his head in disbelief. "Eru's mercy, you are as weak as a kitten, have you ever done anything except sitting with your nose buried in some book?!"

Mariliel felt that familiar anger surge up from within but she kept it under control, she couldn't afford to piss off her own teacher. She just clenched her teeth together and Halaron sighed and threw her some odd looking balls with a handle on them. " These are heavy?"

He nodded. " That is the point, from now on you train with these two times each day until you are able to pull a real bow, you are way too weak."

Mariliel felt her cheeks turn red, but she knew that he was right. She wasn't used to physical labor at all, it was not asked from in Imladris. " I understand."

Her voice was meek and Halaron crossed his arms and stared at her. " I will make sure that you get some leather to make a glove and something to protect your wrist. And do not forget to train every day. There is no use in even letting you try to fire a bow before you have the strength needed. Right now you are more of a danger to yourself than to the enemy."

She sighed and he must have seen that she felt rather stupid for he sent her a swift smile. "Worry not, you have rather good shoulders and long arms too, you will become a good archer, after some years of training"

Mariliel almost rolled her eyes, some years! But she knew he was right, the expert archers of these woods had practiced since they were elflings. No wonder why they could hit just about anything they aimed for seemingly without even taking aim. It was frustrating,

She returned to the library and sat down with her work once more, she had to go through that crate with the darn erotic books and write down the titles for later and she was grumbling to herself as she quickly worked through the heap of books. Most of them were in fact collections of poems and songs of a more indecent character but there were also some novels and one book in particular caught her eye. It was dark red in color with beautiful vines made in gold covering it and it didn't have a title. Mariliel opened it, the name of the author wasn't written down anywhere but the title was simply Heartsong. It seemed to be a sort of mixture of letters, a diary and somebody telling the story and she saw that the one writing it had used a very unusual technique that made the letters look almost like something organic and natural. She put the book aside and continued working, it had made her curious.

She then trained with those strange metal orbs until her arms were shaking and she remembered having seen one of the female guards pull a bow that was as thick as her arm in the middle, she suddenly felt like some goddamn failure. But she wasn't going to give up that easily, no way! She took a swift bath before she went to bed and then she read a little from the book she had found. She didn't know why it had been put in that crate, it wasn't at all what she would have thought it was. Clearly this was a collection of personal notes and thoughts and that person had to have been someone in power who greatly desired someone who was way beyond him when it came to status. It was rather sweet and also a bit tragic and she did read quite a bit before she got too tired and had to go to sleep.

Legolas had been preparing his group for another patrol that day, they were going to head south seeking to eradicate some spider's nests and he was looking forward to it. It was better than staying there, he felt as if his father kept him under constant surveillance and it was a bit annoying to say the least. He often felt as if he was being choked by his father's controlling personality, he was no elfling and he was among the best warriors there were but then again, he was the kings only heir and he supposed that his father was worried about him.

He went to the dining hall to have something to eat and some of his friends were there already, cheering and laughing and sharing some gossip and some wine. Halaron was there too, he was obviously telling the others of his encounter with Mariliel and he was rather enthusiastic about it. " I have to tell you, I have never seen an elleth who is capable of shooting herself, but that noldo almost did. And her lack of strength was appaling, I think a ten years old elfling would be stronger than her, and by Eru, she ought to be told never to wear leggings cause damn!"

Legolas felt a weird sensation within his chest, he hadn't thought about Mariliel at all since he left the library but now something akin to anger started to brew within him. " What do you mean by that?"

His voice was rather brusque and the other jolted and sat up straight. Halaron lifted an eyebrow. " Oh come on, you must have seen her? Red hair, tall, creamy skin? And leggings? I have never seen an ass like that on an elleth, it is pure perfection I tell you, pure perfection, like a peach"

Legolas grasped onto the table so hard his knuckles went white, he felt his throat constricting. " Halaron, you are talking about a lady here, Lord Elrond's protégé. I will not hear you talk about her in such a manner again, understood?"

Halaron looked shocked, but then there was a sly smirk appearing on his face. " Oh, I see, you have met her! Perhaps you would prefer to keep her to yourself? She has some rather impressive…qualities"

Legolas didn't know why he didn't pull his knives and stabbed Halaron there and then but he just sent the archer a rather cold glance before he got up and left. " That may be, but I will not have our reputation slandered by such lewd and disgusting behavior, have I made myself clear?"

Halaron just sniggered and the other warriors present did too, Legolas felt his ears burn as he quickly excited the hall, he needed fresh air and time to think, Mariliel wasn't worth the trouble, he had realized that but he still felt a bit protective for some reason and that made him confused. Why? Yes, she was drop dead gorgeous but so damn unpredictable, and almost volatile. He didn't want to think about her again, they could call her whatever they wanted, it was none of his business, but a small voice within his head still told him that he cared.

He walked towards his own chambers when he saw that the door to his father's rooms opened and the king appeared, dressed in silver and dark grey and looking very regal indeed. He was apparently in a good mood and Legolas bowed his head in a swift greeting. " Ada."

Thranduil smiled and tilted his head. " Ion nin, you look flustered, is anything wrong?"

Legolas cringed, oh no, his father couldn't know of this, he would probably misunderstand it completely and then all hell would break loose. " No, nothing is wrong ada, I just overheard the warriors, they were a bit rude considering that scholar. They have poor manners I fear."

Thranduil's eyes got more narrow. " Indeed, well, I hope they won't interfere with her work, I need it done so I can send her back home. I trust that you have kept an eye on her? No weird questions, no unusual behavior?"

Legolas cringed and tried to smile. " Uh no ada, she spends her time in the library, and I think that is where such creatures belong too"

Thranduil frowned. " What do you mean by that?"

Legolas could have smacked himself, he had almost done it this time. " Uh, I mean that she is a bookworm, probably very boring too, and unable to protect herself."

Thranduil was thinking fast, what was this? He had to find out more. " Yes, you are probably right, a good thing she stays down there, it would be too bad if some of our warriors got interested in her, imagine that, a noldo!"

He said it with all the disgust he could muster and saw that Legolas got a bit pale, then his ears turned red. Aha, there was something there, but he couldn't ask more questions without it becoming suspicious. He just walked on, pretended to be completely relaxed. " So, what do you think of tomorrows mission? Will it be a success?"

Legolas let out a small sigh of relief, he had gone against his father's order when he visited the library and he prayed he would never know of it. " Yes, I think so, I have the best warriors and we will bring as many weapons as we can and burn every nest we find."

Thranduil patted him on his shoulder. " Good son, I am very pleased to hear that."

Legolas bowed and went his own way and Thranduil remained standing, his cerulean eyes distant and his expression thoughtful. Legolas had met her, he was dead sure, and he knew his son better than Legolas would have thought was possible. Besides, he had ears and eyes everywhere and a servant had told him the prince spent quite some time down in the library but when he came back he looked almost angry, or rather disappointed. Had they come to blows? He knew that Mariliel had the kind of personality that best could be compared with a porcupine, one wrong move and it was sharp quills sticking out in every direction. Darn, he had to be certain, and he had to come up with a plan if Legolas had lost his interest in her, if he ever had one.

He turned around on his heel and almost ran to his office. There he sent one of his servants out to fetch a certain someone and before long the ellon returned with one of his son's warriors in tow. The young ellon was a handsome fellow with long dark blond hair and soft blue eyes and Thranduil did know that Legolas was very competitive, he didn't like to lose and he didn't back away from a challenge either. Thranduil smiled and the warrior looked nervous, he kept his eyes on the floor and was moving restlessly, with obvious nervousness. "My lord?"

Thranduil stared at the ellon. " You are loyal are you not Feren? And a good friend of my son?"

Feren nodded, he was confused and had no idea of what this meant. " Yes, I am your humble servant my liege"

Thranduil got up, grinned widely. " Good, I will give you a special mission Feren, one you have to keep as a secret. Nobody is to know of this, nobody! Do you get it?"

Feren nodded, his face revealed a good mixture of curiousness and nervousness. " Yes my lord?"

Thranduil got a little closer to the young warrior, he lowered his voice. " You have my son's trust, and I know he does confide in you rather often. Now, there is this a task I want you to do for me. An elleth arrived from Imladris some days ago, she is a noldo and very exotic, I am sure you know who I talk of?"

Feren blushed. " Yes my lord, all the ellyn know who that is, she is…uh…"

Thranduil nodded. " I know what you mean, she does catch the eye now doesn't she?"

Feren swallowed and his eyes were rather huge. " Uh, and you doesn't like her?"

The words were almost whispered and Thranduil was a bit uncertain, he didn't know how much of his plan he could reveal to Feren, after all he was young and the young elves could easily be tricked to tell more than they ought to. " That is not the problem Feren, the thing is that I know my son spent some time with her, in the library. I want to know if he…well, you know, has taken a liking to her."

Feren bit his lower lip. " My lord, if I may be so bold, it isn't smart to intervene in matters of the heart, it usually backfires."

Thranduil just smiled. " I know, and I do not intend to intervene, I just want to know for sure if my son feels anything for this elleth. I have started to worry about him, you know, he is spending a lot of time around other males and he is never seen with females at all."

Thranduil did of course know that Legolas had had some affairs, rather many in fact, but Legolas didn't know that he knew, and neither did anyone else. Feren went beet red, he knew that Legolas was rather amorous and that he was as far from being gay as anyone can be. " Uh my lord, I…I do not think your son favors males, I would have known, I mean…"

His voice died down and he stared at the wall rather sheepishly. " That is great Feren, now, just do what I ask of you, see if you can get some information out of him."

Feren sighed, Thranduil was really meddling with stuff he should keep that pretty nose of his out of but he was the king and it was natural that he was trying to keep an eye on his only child. " I will my lord, trust me on this"

Thranduil petted his back. " Good, very good, try to ask questions without arising any suspicion. "

Feren felt bad, stretched between his loyalty to his friend and the loyalty to his king. He groaned and bowed and Thranduil dismissed him. Feren stopped in the corridor, now, how was he to do this? He had to find the perfect moment and gather the information very carefully indeed. Truth be told he had gotten curious too, Legolas hadn't said anything about having met that elleth and that was unusual considering how strange she was. Maybe the king was right after all? That there was something going on there? In that case Feren wasn't the one to get in the way, he hoped that Legolas would find his one true love soon and find peace and happiness.

Yes, this needed investigation, he grinned as he wandered off, he knew what the other ellyn said about that elleth, that she was feisty and downright dangerous and that sounded like just the right elleth for his friend. Legolas would never be happy with the ordinary dull ellith of the court, they spent their time discussing fashion, embroidery and other boring feminine ways to pass time. That Imladris vixen could perhaps be just what Legolas needed.

Mariliel was working hard the next days, she barely ever met anyone and she drowned her own uncertainty with work but her thoughts never stopped haunting her. She had dreamed again, a memory this time, of her childhood. She remembered her mother, sparring against some ellon she didn't remember now, and it had been an amazing sight. Her hair had been shining and she had smiled and laughed as they danced across the grass, blades flashing in the sun and Mariliel could hear the sound of metal hitting metal and the feet against the sand. She had been in awe of her mother that day, and she remember being hugged, being lifted while a soft voice assured her that she one day would be just as good at this as nana was. It had never occurred to her that her parents had been fighters, that they had been able to defend themselves. She had sort of forgotten, pushed those memories back until they were too deeply hidden for her to find.

Now she started remembering also other things, the great feast they held in the summer when there was a huge pyre lit and everybody was dancing around. She remembered her parents joking and flirting, her father chasing her mother through the woods, both laughing. She knew that she never really had mourned them, she had been in a state of shock, of absolute denial. Elrond had said that she had switched herself off, that she almost suffered from a sort of amnesia and refused to remember and he hadn't really tried to force her into remembering her past. She had woken up sobbing and when she got back to work that morning she felt miserable. She missed Imladris, and she missed her friends there too.

Not that she had that many but she regarded Elrond as a friend, and Erestor and the twins and even Arwen even though she was way too preoccupied with pretty gowns and gossip. She did also have a few other friends but they weren't close, and she started to realize that she in truth was rather lonely.

When had that happened? She didn't really know and she was thinking hard about that as she went through crate after crate with books. She had never been a very trustful child, Elrond said it was because of what had happened to her family but she had a sneaking suspicion that something else had triggered it. She had a vague memory of laying in bed, listening to her mother speaking with some elleth Mariliel didn't really know. She heard their voices, muffled and distant and she knew that her nana was worried about something, that something bad had happened but she couldn't remember and why was she hurting?

Mariliel swore and tossed some books into an open crate, she was getting more and more confused. It had to be the unfamiliar surroundings, they were triggering her memory in a new and slightly disturbing way. She tried to subdue them by working until her head hurt and she fell asleep at night like a log had hit her. Aeniel had showed up on a few occasions but Mariliel didn't have time to speak to her, she ignored the healer and didn't notice the weird glint in the elleth's eyes, nor did she see the frown on her brow.

Aeniel was rather certain that something was off by now, Mariliel was working herself to a point where she was in a frenzy. Something had changed when she came to the palace but what? What could have triggered it? Aeniel was a very clever elleth, she knew that Mariliel had suffered a huge trauma when her family and friends got murdered, Elrond had most certainly tried to heal her and patch her broken mind back together again but now everything seemed to fall apart in their seams, Mariliel looked scared most of the time, as if there were monsters hiding in every shadow and Aeniel was thinking about it a lot. Then it hit her like lightening and she realized what a fool she had been. Elrond was of course the key, or rather, his ring. The power of his ring kept Imladris safe, it protected its borders and it sort of stopped time, prevented decay and change. It had of course also protected Mariliel from the full impact of what had happened to her, but now she was beyond the power of that ring and she was starting to remember again.

Aeniel swore to herself as she ran to the healing ward, she knew she had to do something. Elrond could not have known that he involuntarily had put Mariliel in a very difficult situation when he sent her away. He probably had no idea of the fact that his ring of power had shielded her all these years. She sat down by her desk and wrote a letter to the famous healer and then she ran to the one in charge of the palace hawks and asked him to please send a peregrine for Imladris right away. The ellon looked confused but took the letter and promised that the bird would arrive within a few days, he would send his swiftest bird. Aeniel had a sense of foreboding, of having started to unravel something terrible. Why she didn't know but she just prayed that Mariliel would be ok, she liked the young elleth and would hate to see her hurt.

Mariliel did barely dare to sleep, she would dream every night and even though most of her dreams were pleasant memories of a childhood filled with love and joy there was something behind those memories, something dark lurking around the edges of her mind like a hungry predator searching for a prey, never resting and always on the prowl. She feared it, and she didn't know why but there was a voice in the darkness, hoarse and twisted, whispering terrible things she couldn't hear but she knew that the voice was bad, that it was evil, that it didn't want nothing but her suffering and death.

Then one night she had a totally different kind of dream. She had taken a long hot bath before she went to bed and she had even taken a glass of wine. She had worked way into the night and felt so tired she knew she wouldn't be able to find some rest without help and so she had determined that a glass of wine was a good idea. She had been reading a little in the book and she had come to the conclusion that the writer was in love with someone of the same gender, there had been some rather steamy confessions of fantasies that made her shake her head and she felt that this person was very sad and melancholic, trapped within a society that didn't allow such feelings to flourish at all.

She did pity the unknown writer but the poems in the book were beautiful, even the more explicit ones. She had fallen asleep and when she started dreaming she was back in the library but she wasn't alone. Legolas was there and they were looking in that illustrated book again but suddenly the books were gone and they were in a room of some sorts but she didn't recognize it. It was dark and warm and suddenly they were on a bed with soft satin sheets and she felt his warm silky skin against her own and felt strong calloused hands sliding over her body, worshiping her, making her skin feel as if it was on fire. In the background someone was reading one of the poems out loud in a beautiful and yet rather sad voice and she was close to tears.

She felt so safe, so cherished and his hands, oh Eru, they felt so good. They were touching her like none ever had and he was kissing her, teasing her, creating a warmth within her that soon became a firestorm, a blazing inferno and that soft voice was everywhere, speaking words of endless affection and love. " Oh should the number of days of this earth outnumber the stars by Elbereth kindled, I would still yearn for more days spent with my love. And should the world and the song itself crumble, be forgotten and gone, I will not mourn as long as I know that thine heart is mine, as mine is yours. My love for thee will last a thousand ages, and a thousand ages is yet not enough."

Mariliel had never thought that anyone could express their affection thus, so poetically and yet with such certainty and she suddenly yearned for something like that, that absolute feeling of truth. She felt his hands caressing her body and yet she didn't really see him, but she knew he was there and she was writhing, whimpering for more, for that burning need to be slaked. He was light, he was safety, and she remembered the drawings and something in her begged her to give in. She saw herself and him, their bodies close, so close, like in those images, as one. She shuddered and gasped as she felt him touch her gently where her thighs met and she arched and yelled and woke up, moaning his name as the most insane sensation she had ever felt rushed through her. She had to gasp for air, eyes wide open and her heart hammering like mad, she had pulled her covers up between her legs, and that was what she had felt and there was a huge wet patch on the blanket.

Mariliel didn't know what to think or feel or anything, she felt utterly confused and excited and ashamed and everything at the same time. Oh Eru, didn't she have any shame at all? She had dreamed of the prince in a completely scandalous manner and it had been…It had been wonderful! She knew what it was that had happened, she had only heard others describe orgasms but she just knew that she had had one, her first. She could smell her own musky scent and slowly she reached down, touched her self. She was wet, and slick and over sensitive and she yelped and pulled her hand back, stared at the wetness on her fingers. So this was how it felt?

She giggled and felt silly, almost giddy. She felt as light as a feather and yet heavy like lead and she covered her face with her hands, enjoying that relaxed feeling.

Soon she felt cold and got herself another blanket from the closet, tried to return to her sleep but she found that she couldn't. The good feeling slowly disappeared to be replaced by a deep sense of fear, something was staring at her, with angry eyes, eyes filled with disgust. She heard a voice coming from nowhere, distant and rusty. " Do not think you are worthy of him, don't you know what you are? A dirty little whore, a wanton bitch. I know what you all want, I can see it in you, temptress!"

She whimpered, pulled the blanket over her head and tried to block the voice out but it was still there, whispering obscene words in an almost cooing manner. When the sound at last disappeared she was covered in sweat and shivering all over, hysteria beginning to kick in. Before long she lay in a fetal position, bawling like a child, clinging onto her pillow as if it was a lifebelt and she was drowning. At the end she simply passed out, knocked out cold by her overflow of emotions.

Legolas was staring at the burning spiders nest, he felt rather satisfied with the work the group of warriors had done. They had burned at least fifty nests and killed a couple hundred spiders. This was the last one on their route, they would return this very evening and he was sure they this time would be allowed to enjoy more than just a week of rest before their next mission. The spiders were getting larger and bolder and he had to admit it, a heck of a lot harder to kill and he was glad none had gotten themselves injured. Some of the spiders looked rather different from the ones they had been used too, they were more aggressive and bold and they seemed almost intelligent and that was a frightening thought.

Feren was standing beside him, still breathing hard after the fight and wiping goo of his sword, he was grinning like mad and Legolas recognized the battle fever in his friends gaze. It was a thrill he too felt when he was done fighting and knew he had survived one more time. You never felt more alive than you did in such times and he was looking forward to returning to good food, hot baths and fun. Feren grinned and got his sword back in his sheath, shook the long hair out of his eyes. " Oh finally, I cannot wait to get drunk and to be honest, to get laid!"

Legolas snorted. " Oh, really? You have some willing maiden waiting for you back home?"

Feren nodded. " Oh yes, that little short one who often helps the cook? With the dark hair and the generous bosom?"

Legolas knew which elleth he spoke of, she was rather unusual among ellith since she had a chest that was more like that of a chesty adeneth and most of the ellyn forgot how to think when she came sauntering by, serving at the tables. And she knew how to use it for all it was worth! " I…I know who you mean yes."

Feren nudged him in the side with a conspiratorially wink. " And her boobs are not the best part of her, I can tell you that, she can clench like a vice that one."

Legolas chuckled. " I have heard rumors yes."

Feren smiled. " Are there no pretty thing waiting for you to return?"

Legolas felt how his mood suddenly turned one hundred and eighty degrees and headed for the cellar. " No, there aren't!"

He was almost snapping at Feren who backed off and stared at the prince with huge eyes. "Whoa mellon, I am not some orc! Damn it, have you slept on a rock or something? Do not bite my head off, please!"

Legolas cringed. " Oh I am sorry Feren, I really am, it is just that…Oh it is complicated!"

Feren sighed and signaled for Legolas to sit down next to him. " Right, spill it, tell me what it is that is bothering you?"

Legolas took a deep breath, braced himself. " It is this elleth okay, the scholar from Imladris?"

Feren tilted his head. "Let me see, tall, redhead, a chest worthy of a dairy cow and a derriere that could make even a dead man hard? Yep, I know who you speak of then!"

Legolas almost growled, hearing her described like that ticked him off and he didn't know why, or did he? " Right, the problem is…I tried to speak to her, and we had a nice time, I mean, she was great, funny, different and smart and I thought that we had something going right? And then she just…she turned all hostile."

Feren frowned. " What do you mean hostile? Did you try to grope at her or anything?"

Legolas scoffed. " What do you take me for, some savage? Of course not, I merely tried to give her a small kiss as a token of gratitude and she pushed me away and went all hysterical. I have never seen an elleth acting like that! Apparently you cannot touch her without risking life and limb"

Feren was a bit shocked. " That sounds rather strange, maybe she has gotten scared by someone and has trust issues?"

Legolas just shrugged. " Maybe, but I have decided that she isn't what I hoped she was, she is not my type after all. Who wants to be with an elleth who snaps at you if you try to steal a small kiss? I appreciate my elfhood far too much to risk its safety thank you very much, she is the type likely to geld you if she feels like it"

Feren had to snicker. " Sounds like a she dragon if you ask me, but she is gorgeous isn't she?"

Legolas sighed and felt sad, almost hollow in a funny way, she was obviously not interested in him so why did her rejection still hurt so much? Why did it leave him with such an aching sensation of having overlooked something crucial? He sent Feren a sad grin and patted him on his shoulder. " It matters not, in a few months time she will have finished her work here and return home, at least ada will be pleased, he doesn't like to have noldor in our palace, he thinks she is a spy!"

Feren almost burst into laughter. " Legolas, you father may be the king of this realm but he is also the king of paranoia, imagine, Lord Elrond sending spies. That will be the day orcs start growing pigs tails."

Legolas had to giggle. " I bet I saw one with a pig tail once so don't be too certain now"

Feren wiped some tears off his cheeks. " Oh Eru, the mental image, I won't get rid of that until the breaking of Arda for sure"

Legolas got up and shouted some orders. " I am glad somebody has someone to return to, worry not Feren, I will be ok. I was just…I am not used to being rejected damn it."

Feren sent him a wide grin. " My prince, there is a first time for everything. Finally some elleth have come along with enough sense to see the real you , not just the pretty face but your immaturity, recklessness and not to forget your endless conquests. I bet she is the smartest elleth in this realm."

Legolas lifted a hand in a mock threat. " Feren, one more word and I will feed you to the spiders!"

Feren jumped out of Legolas reach and giggled. " Oh no, have mercy my lord, the poor critters will surely die from indigestion"

The other warriors stared with confusion and wonder at their commander and his captain, both lay on the ground writhing and laughing so hard they had problems catching their breath. The relief of having survived a battle could do that to you so they just ignored the howls of wild laughter and continued their work, surely it couldn't be that funny.